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The 15 Worst Pro Wrestling Gimmick Costumes


(Nothing says “tough guy” like fake muscles and a landing strip.)

By Shep Ramsey

Ah, professional wrestling. You blaze into our lives when MMA fails us, reminding everyone that sometimes, it’s totally okay to put on ridiculous matches with absurd stipulations and objectify women.

On second thought, we can’t even tell the difference between you both.

At least wrestling allows us to tune in and out, without the pressure of having to watch every single event. The reason we love pro wrestling so much is because, like David Wooderson says about high school girls in Dazed & Confused, we get older and they stay the same age.

If anything, pro wrestling has become more mature than its fanbase, despite the WWE’s PG-rating. One thing we have to deal with less are the bad costumes — painted-on gimmicks that were never going to work, no matter how hard they were forced down our throats.

Here are 15 of the most senseless and detestable costumes inflicted upon some good wrestlers, and some really bad ones.

15. The Goon

Guys like Tie Domi and Bob Probert were NHL sluggers in the mid-1990s, so maybe that explains The Goon’s odd inclusion into the world of pro wrestling. It would have been cool if this guy came to the ring in actual skates, instead of those platform boots that are mostly favored by goth teenagers and drag queens these days.

14. Rocky Maivia

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Ratings Tell the Tale: Pro Wrestling Is More Popular Than Ever — And MMA Promoters Need to Pay Attention


(Photo via UCWZERO)

By Citizen Kane Dewey

It’s hard to believe that only a few years ago, fans were predicting that MMA was going to kill off professional wrestling. The WWE’s ratings were slipping, and with the rise in popularity of MMA as professional wrestling’s unscripted counterpart, many fans did not feel that professional wrestling was long for this world.

To write that professional wrestling hasn’t exactly gone extinct would be a gigantic understatement. The WWE is not only attracting more viewers to its cable shows than the UFC is, but the company is also coming off of a wildly successful Wrestlemania XXX, an event in which over one million households paid to watch. Although pay-per-view buys were estimated at a healthy 400,000 for the April 6th event, much of the credit for that strong figure can be attributed to the WWE Network — the all-digital online streaming service that had 667,000 subscribers by the time Wrestlemania XXX aired.

“The Wrestlemania numbers just go to show how popular our sport is, even in the Internet era,” says Matthew Roblez, a veteran wrestling announcer and commentator who was appointed as commissioner of the Ultra Championship Wrestling Zero league last year. “People can’t wait to consume wrestling through new methods.”

Of course, it isn’t just the WWE that has been benefiting from the rejuvenated popularity of professional wrestling. Independent wrestling promotions such as Ring of Honor, Chikara, and Wildkat Sports have enjoyed packed auditoriums and sold-out events, as well as healthy Internet followings devoted to keeping up with their favorite promotions. In fact, the aforementioned UCW Zero has recently been awarded Utah’s Best of State for professional and semi-pro sports, beating out the Utah Jazz, Utah Grizzlies, and Real Salt Lake as the state’s best sports organization.

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Meanwhile, in Professional Wrestling: Don Frye and Yoshihiro Takayama Have Sloppy, Kayfabe Rematch [VIDEO]


(Props: MiddleEasy)

I’ll get this out of the way up front: I’m not exactly a fan of remakes. Attempting to improve something that most people think is fine as-is usually results in the creation of something indefensibly stupid (like that 2002 remake of Rollerball) that will make everyone feel terrible about themselves (like how anyone who paid to watch that 2002 remake of Rollerball felt). This is especially true when the people remaking something completely miss the point of what they’re remaking, and decide to take out all the parts with social commentary and replace them with explosions and sideboob (You get the point).

So I guess it goes without saying that when All Japan Pro Wrestling attempted to recreate Don Frye and Yoshihiro Takayama’s PRIDE 21 encounter during a professional wrestling match last Sunday, I wasn’t exactly a fan. The fact that it happened during a tag team match also featuring Masayuki Kono and Keiji Mutoh didn’t exactly help things for me. Two things before we go any further – yes, fellow wrestling nerds, Keiji Mutoh used to be The Great Muta and no, I didn’t know he was still alive, either.

Video awaits after the jump.

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Wild Slam of the Day: Paul Gaffney Wins his Amateur Debut via Choke Toss


Brock Lesnar demonstrating proper choke toss technique. When performed correctly, the toss will vaporize at least three tables while the performer levitates to safety.

Ladies and gentlemen of CagePotato.com, take note: If you want us to publish a video of one of your fights – especially if it’s your amateur debut – you have to break out something special. A walk-off knockout, a flying armbar, actually wearing someone’s CagePotato.com user name on your shorts like we’ve been trying to get someone to do for over three years now; something that really makes you stand out from the crowd.

Of course, the easiest way to do this is to pull off a professional wrestling maneuver in an MMA fight, which is exactly what Team Link’s Paul Gaffney did against Tollison Lewis on Friday night. Just seventeen seconds into his amateur MMA debut, “Piglet” (seriously) realized that Lewis was heavily overmatched, and that this fight wouldn’t be lasting much longer. While the MMA purists among us would have just kept punching until the referee waived things off, Gaffney channeled the giants of professional wrestling on poor Tollison Lewis, earning one of the coolest slam knockouts on record and the right to call himself Piglet as much as he wants to without being made fun of.

Video of Gaffney’s slam is after the jump

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Dave Bautista Gets New, Incredibly Beatable Opponent For Oct. 6 MMA Debut


(Vince Lucero vs. Tim Sylvia at a 2010 CFX event. We’re not sure if we’ve ever seen a more pathetic ending to a fight in our lives. On second thought…) 

Like many MMA fans out there, we are of two minds when it comes to Dave Bautista. On one hand, we should be applauding the former WWE star for having the cojones to step into the cage and give a sport as laborious and intense as MMA a try despite both his age and experience level saying that he should do just the opposite. On the other hand, he represents little more than another splash in the recent wave of professional wrestlers looking to exploit a sport they have little experience in and little desire to actually further.

More often than not, guys like Bautista, Bobby Lashley, and Brock Lesnar to a degree (TO A DEGREE) are not professional fighters in the purest sense of the word; they are opportunists who crossover to MMA looking to make a decent buck and get out before they hurt themselves too badly. For if they were seriously seeking a new career path, they would logically test themselves on the amateur circuit before diving head first into a sport in which ill preparation can lead to serious health issues in both the immediate and distant future. Although their participation in MMA in turn draws legions of new fans to the sport, it also cheapens the value of what it means to call oneself “a professional fighter.” Not to get on our soapbox here, but that is a title that should be earned through hard work and dedication, not a few months of sparring and pure name value.

So when it was announced that Bautista would be debuting against a guy who was clearly picked because his name resembled a certain former UFC champion, the world reacted with a collective “ugh.” But if you think that’s bad , just wait until you hear the story that led to Bautista’s new opponent, the 22-22 Vince Lucero you were introduced to in the above video.

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[VIDEO] Brock Lesnar Claims That He is “Never Coming Back” to the WWE


(How many times do I have to tell you people this? I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES!) 

My grandfather always told me “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear,” a statement that would in turn lead to a lifetime’s worth of cynicism. So perhaps it’s just my general misanthropy rearing its ugly head, but when former UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar released a video last night declaring that he was “never coming back” to the WWE, I was a bit skeptical. After all, Lesnar just returned to the promotion in April, and I may not follow the WWE anymore, but I’m pretty sure that Vince McMahon doesn’t hand out many five month contracts. For Christ’s sake, isn’t Ric Flair’s decomposing corpse still fighting for a retirement check that will never come?

Anyway, Lesnar released the video that awaits you after the jump, stating:

I came here and I accomplished everything that I said I was going to do. There’s nothing left for me here to conquer. I’m leaving the WWE and I’m never coming back.

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