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Tag: pure H2O

Dan Quinn is Out of Jail and He’s Planning on Fighting Aaron Brink Numbed up on Weed Butter and Pure H20

(Video courtesy YouTube/steviaplaya)

After spending 45 days in county jail, Dan Quinn is a free man and he’s wasting no time getting his blood saturated with  lines of Stevia and homemade weed butter while rehabbing his injured shoulder with an electronic muscle stimulator.

In this segment, the inventor of Pure H20 tm addresses President Obama (because we all know Barack subscribes to Dan’s YouTube page), talks about how the drink crystals in jail gave him receding nipples and mutters something about wanting to be like TimeCop so he can go back and fight Jack Dempsey, but for the most part he didn’t have anything interesting to say except that he’s planning on fighting stoned in his upcoming stand-up only superfight with Aaron "the fighter-turned-pornstar-turned-junkie on the" Brink.

All I’m saying is somebody better film it, because it’s going to be awesome if it happens.


Video: Dan Quinn Talks About His Latest Prison Stint, His Desire to Fight Randy Couture and Gives Advice to Jesse James

Disclaimer: Dan was unable to consume any Pure H20 tm while in prison, and as such, put on a bit of weight since he did not have the benefit of stevia to melt away fat. Do not be alarmed by his lack of abs in this video) 
(Video courtesy YouTube/Cold fission, playa)

Dan Quinn posted a new video on his YouTube channel last night and in typical DQ style it doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense, but like any train wreck, I’m compelled to watch it.

He’s worse than two girls one cup.

In this clip, he talks about his 45-day stint in "a level 4 prison," the fact that he would beat Randy Couture in a pure striking MMA match-up with no kicks or takedowns and weighs in on the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James divorce.

The best quote from the video: "When I get fucking spun spun on stevia and weed — because I use Pure H20 tm and stevia to rid my body of all toxins…um…you know what? I kind of become a version of Iron Man."

For the record, when Dan shouts out his prison homies, Spencer, Patrick and "that stud from Canada," he was not referring to me.

I’m going to have to try his money saving suggestion to use stevia in place of cocaine at my "Scarface coke parties." Remind me, though, when I start doing my whacked out shirtless video blogs for CP to tidy up my room a bit.


Dan Quinn is a Free Man, At Least Physically

(Video courtesy YouTube and stevia)

There’s something reassuring about watching a Dan Quinn video. I don’t know if it’s knowing that no matter how crazy I may get as I get older, there’s no way I’ll ever claim that I’m a self-trained scientist who has discovered that the cure for every disease known to mankind is drinking a mixture of a sugar substitute and water. Or maybe it’s the fact that every time he posts another one of his more increasingly psychotic rants, my original inclination that he was a character attempting to pull off the ultimate troll-job evaporates more and more, like the soap floating on top of pure H2O and I realize that he is a legit whack job, which gives me faith that not everyone on the Internet is lying about who they are.