(“It’ll never happen, ladies. Now go back to the kitchen and make me an eight-sided sandwich.” / Image via CagePotato’s Facebook page, which you should all follow immediately.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

They were undeniable truths — until suddenly, they weren’t. Check out our latest list below, and ask yourself: What do I believe now that will turn out to be utter bullshit someday?

1. Alistair Overeem will become the UFC heavyweight champion in less than a year.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

2. There’s no way a boxer could ever beat a mixed martial artist under MMA rules.

3. Rickson’s record is 400-0. No, seriously.
 

(The face of pure French-Canadian evil. / Image coutesy of MMAWeekly)

By Nathan Smith

*SPOILER ALERT* Georges St. Pierre is guaranteed to lose his next big fight. He will finally meet an opponent that he can not out-wrestle for 25 minutes and his next foe will be able to trade punches with him at will. GSP will positively get his ass handed to him.  Sorry Johny Hendricks, you can stop reading now because this post has nothing to do with you.

The reigning UFC welterweight champion has been cast as a villain in the upcoming Captain America: The Winter Soldier due for release on April 4, 2014. St. Pierre will play the roll of Batroc the Leaper (aka Georges Batroc) and although I embrace my inner geek, I was never much of a comic book guy nor did I ever have a pube mustache or own a set of dice with more than six sides, so I think it would be best to let the Wikipedia link describe GSP’s character.

“Batroc has no superhuman abilities, but is in peak physical condition in every respect. He is an Olympic-level weightlifter and has extraordinary agility and reflexes. His leg muscles are particularly well developed enabling him to leap great distances equal to an Olympic athlete. He is an expert hand-to-hand combatant and specializes in savate (French-style kickboxing). He is also a skilled military tactician, having formerly been in the French Foreign Legion.

Batroc is also an experienced thief and smuggler, and can speak both French and English. Although, as a mercenary, he does not hesitate to perform any number of criminal acts for his clients, Batroc has, by his own rights, a strong sense of honor, and he will turn against any client whom he feels has unfairly deceived him into committing crimes to which he might not otherwise have agreed.”

(Video via YouTube.com/KarynBryant. Skip to 17:35 for the money quote.)

Following his loss to Glover Teixeira at UFC on FOX 6 — allegedly his final performance in the Octagon — Quinton Jackson sat down with his old friend Karyn Bryant for a sprawling 44-minute interview about his relationship with the UFC and what he has planned for the future. The interview has become newsworthy for a couple reasons. For one, Jackson offers to drag his balls across Bryant’s face. It is what it is, I guess. No amount of bad publicity is going to stop Jackson from being weird with female reporters, and that’s not going to change no matter what he decides to do with the rest of his life.

The other interesting moment comes when Jackson starts opening up (or “complaining,” if you’re one of his haters) about the way the UFC reports its pay-per-view numbers to fighters. Many of the UFC’s marquee athletes earn a cut of PPV sales for the events they compete on, which makes it very important for those fighters to get an accurate assessment of what those numbers are. Unfortunately, the figures aren’t made public, so the fighters have to take their employer’s word for it — never an ideal situation when money is on the line. Here’s what ‘Page had to say (via MMMania):

With how much he’s complained about everything from money, to respect to the way his opponents fight, combined with all the jerky things he’s done in recent years (take. your. pick), it can be difficult to remember that Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is an all-time great and future hall of famer. A humble and touching interview that he gave to Fuel TV after losing a decision to Glover Teixeira in Chicago at the UFC on Fox makes it easier to appreciate Quinton as the hard fighting, fan-friendly guy that he has been for so long.

The interview also makes us worry for him a bit. First, the good things.

Jackson gave his opponent credit for beating him without making silly excuses. “Glover was just the better man tonight,” Jackson said.

“Glover did what he had to do. He took it to me standing up and he took me down a few times. He did what he had to do to win…Fighters like Glover is what makes MMA.”

Props: KVDZFighting.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

When the UFC first began its relationship with Fox, the results were mixed. The first show had only a 64 second fight, and the next two shows – while solid – didn’t do so well in the ratings. Even as the cards themselves picked up on UFC on Fox 4 and 5, the production of the show was excessively drawn out and was tedious to watch at times. But UFC on Fox 6 showed just how good these cards can be. Packed with excellent, violent fights, and backed with the full might of the Fox marketing machine, this card was the first that fulfilled the potential of MMA on network television.

But let’s talk fights, shall we? I know the flyweights aren’t nearly as respected as they should be in some parts of the fight community, but if you’re still in those parts after last night’s performance, do us all a favor, stop reading and get the fuck out. Because what you just witnessed was one of the best, if not the best 5-round title fights in the promotion’s history. In an extraordinarily competitive fight, John Dodson took an early lead off the strength of his…well, strength. He landed a number of monster lefts that were able to knock Demetrious Johnson down, and showed how he is arguably the most exciting fighter in the entire division.

But it was for naught, because what Dodson has in excitement, Johnson has in sheer stamina, will and technique. He roared back in the latter rounds, particularly the championship rounds, delivering innumerable knees to the head, body and legs, mixing in takedowns, and consistently pushing forward. Dodson was unable to keep Johnson’s pace, and in the final round, Johnson unleashed vicious flurries as Dodson backed up. Though he never wilted, Dodson was defeated. Demetrious Johnson remained champion, and was able to deliver one of the better post-fight shout outs you’ll hear. While Benson Henderson may believe all things are possible through Christ (excuse me, “through CHRIST!!!”), Johnson appears to have sided with a more contemporary deity – the Xbox 360.

(Now there’s two guys you definitely wouldn’t want to trip over in a dark alley. / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

The UFC returns to FOX tonight, and the stakes are high: Can John Dodson become the fourth Ultimate Fighter winner to win a UFC championship? Will Rampage Jackson‘s final appearance in the UFC end in triumph or humiliation? Can Erik Koch regain his place as the #1 featherweight contender with a win over Ricardo Lamas, and will Anthony Pettis secure his own spot atop the lightweight contender ladder with a victory against Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone?

But hey, enough damn questions — it’s time for some answers. CagePotato liveblogger Aaron Mandel will be providing round-by-round results from the UFC on FOX 6: Johnson vs. Dodson main card after the jump, beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and share your own feelings in the comments section.

(Everything you ever wanted to know about James Thompson‘s failed gong-and-dash against Aleksander Emelianenko. Mega-props to ColossalCollective)

- Lawrence Epstein Explains the UFC’s New Code of Conduct, Punishments for Fighters (BleacherReport)

- UFC On Fox 6: What Do MMA Fans Have Against The Little Guys? (Deadspin)

- Interview: In the Ring With Rampage Jackson (MensFitness)

- UFC Won’t Schedule More Women’s Fights Until After Rousey’s Debut at UFC 157 (BloodyElbow)

- Fightweets: Matt Hughes’ Most Memorable Moments (MMAFighting)

- Video: Anderson Silva Talks Contract, Next Fight (FightDay)

- Donald Cerrone, Anthony Pettis and the Best of the WEC in the Octagon (Fightline)

- White: ‘Rampage’ Made $15.2M Over 11 Fights, But ‘Shoots Himself in the Foot’ (MMAJunkie)

- Gallery: A History of Athletes Catching Murder Charges (Complex)

- Be Glad They’re Extinct: 3 Bizarre Dinosaurs You Never Learned About (DoubleViking)

- Girls With Absolutely Gorgeous Faces (WorldWideInterweb)

- Jesse Pinkman Saying ‘Bitch’: The DEFINITIVE Supercut (ScreenJunkies)

Answer: Helwani’s shoes, because at least Koch gets paid to wear that shit. (“Shout out to Sun Seekers Milwaukee.”) Videos courtesy of YouTube.com/MMAFighting.

(“Thanks Jay. Joining me now backstage is none other than…uh…wait a minute. You’re Anderson Silva’s son, right?”)

If you’ve been watching the NFL playoffs on FOX over the last couple weekends, you’ve surely noticed the frequent UFC promos throughout the broadcasts hyping a “World Title Fight” on January 26th between “Johnson and Dodson.” At no point is the word “flyweight” ever mentioned — because that would be a turnoff to casual fans, I guess? — and in most of the live promos I’ve seen, Demetrious Johnson and John Dodson‘s first names aren’t even included. Basically, they’re hoping that the mere promise of a “title fight” will be enough to lure some football fans into tuning in this Saturday night, even if those viewers have no idea who the headliners are, or what belt they’ll be fighting for specifically.

By sticking to the ironclad rule that a title fight will always get headlining-priority no matter who else is fighting on the card — a policy that previously drew some fan-criticism when Ronda Rousey vs. Liz Carmouche was given the UFC 157 main event spot over Dan Henderson vs. Lyoto Machida — the UFC has painted themselves into a corner. Johnson and Dodson simply aren’t as well-known, marketable, or admired as some of the other fighters competing at UFC on FOX 6, namely Quinton Jackson, Donald Cerrone, and Anthony Pettis.

It’s a problem, because TV ratings and buyrates are so closely tied to who’s headlining each event. Instead of perhaps making Rampage vs. Teixeira or Cerrone vs. Pettis the headliner, the UFC is choosing to keep things vague (“world title fight!” “Johnson!”) and hope for the best. We’ll see if that proves to be the right decision, or if the ratings will plunge compared to the strong showing of UFC on FOX 5. I know the UFC wants to pump up its budding flyweight division, but I can’t help wondering if they’re doing themselves a disservice when there’s so little heat around that weight class. Could they re-consider their “championship fight always gets the main event” policy down the road?

Since I’ve been thinking about this lately, I’ve decided to present my own rundown of which fights I’m actually looking forward to this weekend. If you see things differently, please hurl some abuse at me in the comments section. Let’s begin…

It’s really tough being Rampage Jackson these days, you guys. Sure, the boatloads of cash, the film and rap “careers,” and the endless string of Bengal tigers just waiting to be dry-humped are nice and all, but they don’t come close to filling the bottomless chasm left behind in Page’s soul by the swindlers and snake oil salesmen over at the UFC. Because beneath Rampage’s tuff (we imagine that is how he would prefer we spell it) exterior lies a kind, sensitive mixed martial artist that just wants his boss to pat him on the head and tell him that he’s proud of what he’s done. And then stop matching him up against fighters who utilize “gameplans,” “strategies,” “takedowns,” and other facets of modern MMA that are best left for trifling bitches.

And even though we haven’t been covering it as extensively as some, Jackson has been vehemently venting his feelings lately. Like, a lot. And by lately, we mean the past two years or so. And wouldn’t you know it, just a couple weeks out from his final contractually obligated fight at UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson, the UFC is still screwing with the poor guy. Jackson’s most recent lament was passed along by 5thround:

I’m sponsored by Reebok now and the UFC said I’m not allowed to wear Reebok in the cage, when the other fighters are sponsored by Nike and stuff. Why can’t I have Reebok?

Read More ADD COMMENTS (28) DIGG THIS

(…sit back there and say his jacket ain’t luxurious when you know it is, bitch.)

The UFC announced yesterday that its next UFC on FOX event — slated for January 26 at Chicago’s United Center — will be headlined by Demetrious Johnson‘s first flyweight title defense against TUF 14 winner John Dodson. Dodson has gone 2-0 at 125 pounds since his stint on the reality show, including his recent TKO of top contender Jussier Formiga.

But hey, maybe you don’t care about that sort of thing. Luckily, the UFC also confirmed that UFC on FOX 6 will feature the long-rumored lightweight tilt (and possible #1 contender match) between Donald Cerrone and Anthony Pettis, a guaranteed barnburner for which Cerrone has already promised to “pack a lunch.” Considering that Pettis has been out of action since February due to injuries, Cowboy might be the favorite here. Of course if he wins, Cerrone could be booked against a guy who already beat him twice in the WEC, or a guy who punked him as badly as any UFC fighter has ever been punked — which makes us wonder if this is one of those “#1 contender match for one guy but not necessarily the other”-type scenarios.

But wait, there’s more…

(If this man does not strike you as the kind of person who spends most of his free time getting stoned, playing Xbox, and waxing poetic about the flaws of Jiu-Jitsu, then we don’t know who does.) 

When we first heard word that Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman failed their UFC 153 drug tests — for Drostanolone and Marijuana respectively — we couldn’t help but reflect on the timeless words of George W. Bush when he stated, “Fool me once…..shame on………..shame on you. Fool me, I can’t get fooled again.” Unfortunately for Bonnar and Herman, they failed to fool the piss test even once while in the UFC (at least to our knowledge) and have felt the unforgiving wrath of the Interwebs as a result of their insolence. Hearts were broken. Tears were shed. Butts were hurt.

And in an effort to gauge their fellow fighters feelings on the issue, FightHubTv recently interviewed such fighters as Travis Browne, Eddie Alvarez, and Tyrone Spong to get some perspective on the issue. Also, Rampage Jackson threw in his two cents and actually managed to do so without turning the interview into another “Dear Diary” entry aimed at the UFC. Good for him.

Video after the jump. 

(Props: AXS TV Fights)

It seemed like a foregone conclusion that Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would fight new light-heavyweight hotness Glover Teixeira for his UFC farewell bout. Unfortunately, Teixeira’s medical suspension could delay the meeting even further, as the Brazilian slugger may have injured his right hand and elbow while breaking his arm off in Fabio Maldonado’s ass at UFC 153.

In this clip from Inside MMA, Bas Rutten drops the bad news on Jackson, who explains that he’d rather not wait six more months to get back in the cage…so what’s Forrest Griffin up to these days, anyway? When Bas is informed that Griffin vs. Phil Davis has already been booked, it’s tantrum time for Quinton:

“That’s gonna be a boring fight! No disrespect to anybody, but that’s gonna be a boring fight, I’m sorry…This is why I’m leaving the UFC. I don’t understand what Joe Silva’s doing. Joe Silva have a complex, something’s wrong with him. The guy can’t match *shoes*. What kind of matchmaker is this guy? What is he thinking? Give me Forrest. Everybody wants that, that would sell, everybody wants to see me and Forrest fight again. Everybody keeps talking about it.“

(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

Our friends at With Leather just put together an incredible/awful collection of cheesy WWF promo photos from the late ’80s and early ’90s, and as we were browsing through some of these gems while drinking our coffee this morning, we couldn’t escape the eerie feeling that we’ve seen these faces elsewhere. The same snarling mugs, the same wacky personas — it’s obvious that some of our favorite MMA fighters owe a debt to these guys. So follow us back to pro wrestling‘s golden age, and allow us to make some startling comparisons.

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart was the original…
Hillbilly Jim was the original…
Legion of Doom were the original…
Junk Yard Dog was the original…
Ultimate Warrior was the original…
The Honky Tonk Man was the original…
Tatanka was the original…
Big Boss Man was the original…
George “The Animal” Steele was the original…

(Props: YouTube.com/JonJones. Fight starts at the 13:50 mark, but it’s worth it to watch the entrances, just to see Jackson and Jones walk out to those obviously patched-in nü-metal tracks, I guess because the UFC couldn’t secure replay rights on YouTube for the songs they actually walked out to. It’s hilariously jarring. Couldn’t they find generic rap tracks to include for situations like this?)

After winning the UFC light-heavyweight championship in March 2011 with his demolition of Mauricio Rua, 24-year-old Jon Jones attempted his first title defense in September at UFC 135 in Denver, against former champion Quinton Jackson. And for the second title fight in a row, Jones gave nothing and took everything. Over four rounds, Bones picked his shots and wore Rampage down, confounding Jackson with his unorthodox kicks and elbows, and clowning ‘Page whenever the inspiration struck. (Skip to 31:08 for an all-time classic.)

After winning the first three rounds handily, Jones closed the curtains in the fourth frame, taking Jackson down with ease then finishing him with a rear-naked choke. It was the first time Jackson was ever stopped in the UFC. To put it lightly, aging legends have never really performed well against Jon Jones, and Dan Henderson might not fare any better at UFC 151 — that is, if Hendo actually makes it to the fight. There are some nasty rumors swirling around right now…we’ll update you if they turn out to be legit.

By Matt Kaplan

Matt “The Law” Lindland has been clinching, smothering, and dirty boxing his way through the MMA world since the days of wrestling shoes in the Octagon. He’s fought alongside and against some of the very best in the world and was a fixture in the top-ten middleweight rankings for years.

A 2000 Olympic Greco-Roman wrestling silver medalist and Team Quest charter member, Lindland went 9-3 during his UFC middleweight tenure and earned a 2002 title shot against champion Murilo Bustamante. After leaving the UFC (Google his UFC 54 t-shirt controversy), he moved up in weight classes to fight Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Fedor Emelianenko (in Russia), he won his two IFL Super Fights as the coach of the Portland Wolfpack/Team Quest, and he was the hardcore fan’s dream opponent for Anderson Silva.

Although Lindland has been inactive for nearly a year-and-a-half, he has yet to hang up his fingerless gloves. “I’ve never won a world title, so it’s kind of hard to retire,” explained the 42-year-old Lindland, whose focus today is on leading wrestling and MMA seminars, overseeing his SportFight promotion, and coaching his Team Quest MMA fighters.

Inspired by Ring Magazine’s “The Best I’ve Faced” series, here’s the legendary Matt “The Law” Lindland looking back on a long, hard-fought career and remembering those opponents who stand out across the following categories:

Best boxing: Vitor Belfort. With boxing it all starts with your footwork, your movement, and he has explosive hands and hips. And not just the night I fought him. He’s got consistently good boxing.

(Photographer unknown. Level of badassery incalculable.)

For this installment of the CagePotato Roundtable, we invited a few of our photographer buddies over to discuss our all-time favorite MMA photos. Judging by our selections, shots of agony and defeat have a special attraction to them. I think it’s because they allow us to get close to an incredibly intense, transcendent moment, without having to experience the pain of it. And isn’t that why we love MMA in the first place? Our special guests for today are…

- Lee Whitehead, author of Blunt Force Trauma & The Mammoth Book of Mixed Martial Arts. You can see more of his work at www.leewhitehead.com, on Instagram, and on Twitter @leewhiteheadmma.

- Jon Sluder, who shot Bellator 34 for us back in October 2010. Check out his recent highlights at Sluder.net.

- Jason Wright, who shot UFC 119 for us back in September 2010; if you follow us on Facebook, you recently saw one of his highlights from that night. You can see more of J-Dog’s work at jasonwrightphotography.com.

Disclaimer: There’s a short list of MMA photographers who have asked us to stop posting their work on this site due to copyright issues, and a couple of contributors to this week’s column happened to select photos taken by those photographers. We’ve used stand-ins in those cases, with links to the actual photos. Also, we don’t know why BJ Penn is so heavily represented in this column. The guy always seems to be in the right place at the right time.

Lee Whitehead

(Click image for larger version.)

I have many favorite photos from all the years shooting MMA but this one has to rank amongst the very top purely because of all the flack and accusations of photoshop manipulation with the blood spurt; professionals can spot a ringer, and this ain’t one. The disappointing thing is that all negative comments detract from our main strength as MMA photographers — to understand the sport, spot smaller nuances, read the timing, and capture a key defining moment in a fight. To me, this brief slice of time from UFC 80 serves as the perfect reminder of how dominant BJ Penn was in his prime.

(See that couple sitting at the table in the background? Only one of them is excited to see a shirtless Rampage Jackson appear during the middle of their dinner. Seriously, click the photo for the full-size version and you’ll see what I mean. / Photo via @Rampage4Real)

After telling the UFC to kiss his ass in March, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson will serve out the final fight on his contract at UFC 153 (October 13th, Rio de Janeiro), according to new reports. No, he will not get a chance to settle an old grudge with Mauricio Rua or Forrest Griffin like he wanted to. In classic “lose-lose” booking, Jackson’s farewell UFC performance will come against Glover Teixeira, arguably the most dangerous light-heavyweight that only hardcore fans know about. And that’s what happens when you talk shit about your employers, kids.

Jackson, who has dropped his last two bouts against Jon Jones and Ryan Bader, was originally slated to face Shogun for his walk-away fight, but a double-knee surgery immediately scrapped those plans. Then, Glover Teixeira arrived in the UFC in May, destroyed Ms. Kyle Kingsbury, and was allegedly ducked by Rua. Is Rampage taking this fight just to prove he’s more alpha than Shogun? Either way, it’s a dangerous matchup for the former champ, especially coming off major knee repair. Anybody think he can pull it off?

(Well, this is the funniest MMA video I’ve ever seen. All hail the genius of prebek.)

- Inside the Octagon With Clay Guida [VIDEO] (SI.com)

- Brett Rogers Talks to Us About Bellator, TRT and That Whole Domestic Abuse Thing (MiddleEasy)

- Fedor Emelianenko, and the Complicated Legacy of a Simple Man (MMAFighting)

- UFC Axes Typical Tryout Format for ‘The Ultimate Fighter 16′ (MMAJunkie)

- The 20 Biggest MMA Stories Thus Far in 2012 (BleacherReport/MMA)

- UFC Heading Back To Brazil For UFC 153 (Fightline)

- 5 MMA Moves That Get You Ripped (MadeMan)

- Exclusive Titan Fighting Championship 23 Photo Gallery (HeavyMMA)

- How Do Children Learn Persistence? From Their Fathers (MensFitness)

- The 50 Funniest Bikini Photos Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

- Kate Upton Cat Daddy’ing With Jimmy Fallon (TurdFergusonBlog)

- Lessons From a Self Made Millionaire: Meet Adam Carolla (DoubleViking)

- Billy Beane and the Oakland A’s: Life After Moneyball (Grantland)

(Props: ecdcmma)

We’re not exactly sure when this took place, but recent footage has emerged showing Joe Rogan clearing the air with Quinton Jackson about their recent mini-beef. If you’ll recall, Rampage blasted Joe Rogan in an interview earlier this year, painting him as a fake-ass rusty trombone player with a girly high-ass voice who’s biased towards jiu-jitsu fighters. Rogan responded on his podcast by saying he doesn’t mean to be rude when he criticizes a fighter’s performance, and only tries to “objectively…figure out how this guy could be doing better than he’s doing…I can’t protect someone’s feelings at the expense of doing what I’m suppose to be doing, which is sort of analyzing what is going on.”

Makes sense to us. But Rogan went the extra mile in this sit-down, apologizing to Rampage’s face and explaining where he was coming from. Jackson explains that what really bothers him is new UFC fans parroting Rogan’s criticism back to him without knowing his history or what he’s really capable of; he claims he doesn’t remember what he said in that interview anyway — which is convenient, because it means that he doesn’t have to apologize — but it must have been right after he heard something insulting from one of these noobs. In the end, they both agree that these Internet guys ruin the sport, and walk away with mutual respect.

“It’s squashed,” Rampage says. Luckily the conversation didn’t take place in Memphis, or somebody might have gotten the shit smacked out of them for that line.

(That look in Chuck’s eyes — we know it well. / Full gallery is after the jump.)

Since our 25 Most Awkward Photos in MMA History gallery was such a big success, and because we could all use some stupid fun on a Friday afternoon, we decided to put together a GIF-based sequel. Enjoy the uncomfortable hilarity, and if we left out any of your favorites, please post some links in the comments section. Have a great weekend, Potato Nation!

(“From now on, all preliminary card fighters will be required to slam four shots of tequila before the start of each round.”)

After a one-week resting period, the CagePotato Roundtable is back up in that ass with another spirited debate. Today’s topic is “If you could make one change to the Unified Rules of MMA, what would it be?” Sitting in this week is Potato Nation comment-section all-star Nathan Smith (aka The12ozCurls) — and since it’s his first time, we’ll make the new guy go first. If you have a topic-suggestion for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com, and shoot us your own MMA rule-change suggestions in the comments section…

Nathan “The12OzCurls” Smith
One of the reasons we love the sport of MMA is the absolute reality that a fight can end in the blink of an eye. We have all held off taking a leak or grabbing another beer until the end of a round because we all know that in the 30-90 seconds that we step away from the screen, the fight could be over. It has happened to all of us. You figure the last minute of the round is going to be uneventful just like the four minutes prior. You get up to snag another High Life and then you hear the collective “OOOOOHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” from the roomful of friends that have gathered in your man-cave garage to watch the latest UFC.

So I ask: How could it get better? Answer: By adding another way to win a fight in the blink of an eye, that is more painful than a Paul Harris ankle lock and more powerful than a 2005 Iceman overhand right.

I would change the rule that states that it is illegal to “intentionally throw your opponent out of the cage/ring.” Now let me preface this by saying it has to be a cage because pushing somebody over the top rope is for guys like Brock and Hillbilly Jim. Not only would I make chucking your opponent out of the Octagon legal, I would propose that you automatically win if you are able to successfully achieve that feat.

We have a very, very special guest on this week’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable: UFC light-heavyweight legend Stephan Bonnar, who has agreed to join the CP gang for a spirited debate on the most epic rivalries in MMA history — something he knows a thing or two about first-hand. Follow Stephan on Twitter @stephanbonnar, buy some of his t-shirts at PunchBuddies.com, and if you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable topic, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com. Now then…

Stephan Bonnar

I’m here to talk about MMA’s most intense rivalries. Catering to the casual fight fan first, I’ll start with the most obvious one. (I know it’s not fair to you hardcore fans, but no one cares about you. We know that you will tune in no matter what. I still appreciate you, you obsessed lunatics, so just stay tuned.)

Chael Sonnen vs Anderson Silva. Chael recently received his PHD in the art of trash talking (TT), and was also the valedictorian of his class. He took TT to new heights. His words ripped not only through his adversaries intestines, but the intestines of his counterpart’s entire country. Trust me though, this brilliant TT’er has an outrageous yet adept plan to convert the hate of some of those countrymen to love and acceptance. Yes, I have inside info…but no, I won’t spoil Chael’s next scheme. Take it from me, “You’ll see what’s up Chael’s sleeve!”

If Chael was valedictorian of his class, then Anderson was the class buffoon. Anderson’s knowledge of the English language quickly evaporates when it’s his turn to retort to some of Chael’s verbal onslaught. This rivalry has had the most one-sided trashtalking in the history of the sport. When it comes to slanging rhetoric, is Anderson worse than Joe Frazier was against the great Ali? I’d enthusiastically say so. I’d also have to say that Chael would be able to hang with “The Greatest” when it came to sparring with verbs. Even in his native tongue, Anderson fails to even so much as hold Chael’s jock strap. Landslide victory for Chael in this event. And for those of you that say talking trash doesn’t do shit, I beg to differ. It has increased my anxiousness ten fold in anticipation of seeing this “rivalry” settled with extreme violence.

(Vitor’s shorts say “Jesus,” but his abs say “Nutella and banana on rye.”)

By Jonathan Shrager

Though he first landed on our radars as a competitor on TUF 7, fighter/trainer Mike Dolce has become much more famous for The Dolce Diet — the health and nutrition system he employs to help MMA stars hit their weight limits while retaining peak performance on fight-day. Fresh off his wizard-like guidance of Thiago Alves earlier this month, we decided to get the Living Lean author on the phone to find out exactly how he does it. Enjoy…

JONATHAN SHRAGER: Hi Mike, thanks for taking the time to talk with us. You are arguably the most renowned nutritionist in MMA nowadays.
MIKE DOLCE: Well, thank you. I prefer “performance coach” actually, but people often refer to me as a nutritionist because I’ve become synonymous with The Dolce Diet, so I understand why. I do quite a bit, including nutrition and Strength & Conditioning.

So who is the current crop of fighters that you’re working with?
Thiago Alves, of course, with whom I travelled to England. Chael Sonnen, Vitor Belfort, Jake Ellenberger, Jay Hieron, Mike Pyle, and I started working with Jorge Masvidal in advance of his Strikeforce lightweight title fight with Gilbert Melendez. Jorge is a great guy and a super-talented athlete.

I recently interviewed Jorge, and he confessed his love of junk food including McDonald’s. Have you ever caught him attempting to eat any junk food behind your back? Is his love for McDonald’s difficult to contain?
Haha! No, Jorge is very committed to performing at the top of his potential. He is so dedicated to his craft, there is nothing to pull him off course. But he did admit his love of McDonald’s to me and we agreed that would be his victory celebration.

Post-fight, do you allow your fighters a little leeway to have a week off and eat what they want? Do you yourself ever celebrate with the fighters by eating some greasy or sugary foods?
Yes, I employ a principle of earned meals, a concept established to allow athletes or individuals to enjoy a meal that may not be consistent with their goals. For my athletes, I usually give them until Wednesday after the fight to ignore my phone calls before we start dialing their lifestyle back in. The great thing about guys or girls who follow The Dolce Diet, is that they lose the old cravings for junk and instead just look for larger portions of what we’ve been eating all camp. After a fight, I’ll usually indulge in a burger or slice of pizza with the team, but that’s usually because we don’t leave the venue until after midnight and our options are limited.

Following his fight with Frank Mir, Dana White suggested that Roy Nelson should try to make 205 lbs in an attempt to rejuvenate himself and his career. Roy subsequently claimed that this would require him to lose a limb, but now he says he’ll try to do it if he gets enough Facebook fans. Would you be the man to help Roy shed the belly?

(“Also? I think my nuts be all hyperextended and shit.”)

In today’s installment of “God damn it, Rampage,” the PRIDE fanboy wet dream rematch between Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua has been canned just as quickly as it was announced, due to Jackson needing surgery on both of his knees. As Jackson tweeted (and keep in mind that “2″ = “to”):

“2 keep it real,the Shogun fight will have 2 wait,I just found out that I have 2 get surgery on both knees, but I heal fast don’t trip…John Jones fucked the left knee,n my sparing partner @antiheromma fucked the right 1,thanks guy!! But I’m not worried I got the best docs”

Surgery? Just rub some testosterone on those creaky knees and get back in the game, homey! There’s no current timetable for Jackson’s recovery and return, but it’s certainly bad timing for Rampage to be dealing with such a major procedure before his final fight with the UFC. As Shogun could tell you himself, your first fight back after knee surgery doesn’t always go so well.

(The calm before the soccer kicks.)

Quinton Jackson will be getting his wish to leave the UFC — but not before fulfilling the final fight on his contract. It was announced on last night’s episode of UFC Tonight that Jackson will be facing Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at an event to be named later. A follow-up statement on UFC.com described Jackson as “disgruntled,” and confirmed that the bout is the last of Jackson’s UFC contract and that he and the UFC are expected to part ways afterwards.

Jackson and Rua’s upcoming meeting will be a rematch of their PRIDE Total Elimination 2005 fight, which Shogun won by vicious first-round knockout. Jackson has lobbied for a rematch ever since, and Rua recently expressed interest in the matchup as well. Rua most recently competed at UFC 139, losing a decision to Dan Henderson in what was widely considered to be the 2011 Fight of the Year, while Jackson is riding the first two-fight losing streak of his career, with losses to Jon Jones and Ryan Bader.

After the jump: The full fight video of Rampage vs. Shogun 1.

(We’ll start designing the poster for “Nemesis Fighting: Rampage vs. Jardine 2.”)

After some frustrated tweeting over the last week, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson took his anti-UFC campaign to Inside MMA, telling Bas Rutten that he wants to part ways with the promotion due to the way he’s been treated. Plus, Joe Silva needs to get slapped in his smart little mouth. You can listen to the full interview at the end of this post. Here are some highlights…

On the fans and his soon-to-be-ex-employers: “I don’t want to fight for the UFC no more. I think the fans don’t understand. They think that just because I make a lot of money, I should be happy because I’ve got a nice house. I’ve always stated that I fight for money because it’s my career, but I think a lot of fans are sheep, and they don’t understand…I wish I didn’t have one more fight for [the UFC]. I’m trying to get out of this one fight…In my opinion, I think they’re trying to make me lose my fanbase. Because they don’t want me to be bigger than the UFC, because the movie I did was bigger than the UFC…I don’t want to be part of the UFC. If Dana doesn’t want me to be bigger than the UFC, then let me go.”

On disrespect: “After my fight with Jon Jones they told my manager that I was losing my appeal — that rappers don’t come and watch me fight no more, that the fans really don’t like me no more. Cause it was getting close to time for me to renegotiate and PRIDE did the same thing to me. To me my respect is more than money so I’ll go fight for some other show for free and I’ll prove it to fans that I’m not all about money.”

A million arigatos to our friends at TerezOwens for sending us actual footage of the rap concert that Quinton Jackson did in Tokyo immediately following his loss to Ryan Bader at UFC 144. We can’t tell if this clip is an excerpt from Rampage’s new “doggy style” tribute, but either way, the lyrics are $kala-caliber. FYI, the performance went down at a club called Vanity in Tokyo’s Roppongi district. (As in, “vanity project.” As in, “My God this vanity project.”) Allow us to half-assedly transcribe:

Rampage:
Get on sowaggichain
Get down with Rampage
We party like we paid
Move! Yo ass, like you wanna get laid
Now shake it, *you* shake it
I wanna see that ass butt-naked

Rampage’s Asian hype-man:
Yo, whassup?
Everybody get down on the floor wuhsay
HALT! Sup?
New York [Ed. note: You're in Tokyo, idiot.]

The video was uploaded to the YouTube account ShuHirata1968; Hirata is like the Ed Soares of Japan, and he always seems to have his video camera with him. For example, here’s another recent clip from Shu’s account that made us even more uncomfortable than Rampage’s rap show…

Source: @Rampage4real

Looks like Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is back on the energy drinks.

When he took to his Twitter page earlier this week to blast the UFC, many of us assumed he was just venting after a difficult loss to Ryan Bader at UFC 144. Well, Rampage is still venting, except now he’s asking for his release from the UFC. In a bizarre twist to an already strange situation, Rampage blames the UFC for the reason he’s lost his desire to fight. And he implies that the desire to keep fighting will somehow come back to him once he walks away from the biggest stage in MMA.

And if you thought that that was strange, consider his next two tweets, both of which in response to fans’ reactions to his initial announcement: