(The end of Schaub vs. Rogers.)

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights opened with some analysis of the Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson fight, which was described rather generously as a "classic striker vs. wrestler/grappler matchup" by Scott Junk, who gives props to Slice for not gassing out. Titties Schoonover was also very impressed by Kimbo’s performance. Roy Nelson was impressed by Roy Nelson’s performance. After the fight, we see Big Country needling Rampage, thanking him for helping Roy count strikes to Kimbo’s dome. "I lost count after ten," Roy says, coming in for a bro-clinch. "Get the fuck off me," says Jackson. "I can’t stand that fat motherfucker," he tells Tiki.

Rampage and his assistants do their best to encourage Kimbo after the fight. Rampage vows to keep working with Slice and turn him into one of the best fighters out there. Kimbo doesn’t feel he’s out of the competition yet, and that with another two or three weeks of instruction, he’ll be untouchable. Abe Wagner tells him — to his face, amazingly — that he’s using denial as a coping mechanism. But for a moment, it does look like Kimbo might return. Marcus Jones has a "sweat attack," and has to sit down for a while after getting lightheaded back at the house. His teammates think he’s physically cracking under the demands of the show. Kimbo sees it as his opportunity to squeeze his way back in, but Marcus quickly recovers.

(Props: ComingSoon.net via WatchKalibRun)

Why so serious, Rampage? Yep, that’s former UFC fighter Quinton Jackson searching for his motivation on the set of The A-Team in Vancouver. To his right are Liam Neeson (as John "Hannibal" Smith),  District 9‘s Sharlto Copley (as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock) and Bradley Cooper (as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck). According to ComingSoon, the flick will also feature Jessica Biel as an Army general who pursues the team — they’re casting for realism, I see! — and Patrick Wilson as a CIA operative.

More photos after the jump, which show that B.A. Baracus’s famous mohawk might have to be added in post-production.

Last week, we saw one of the bloodiest fights in TUF history. This week brought us one of the ugliest, as James McSweeney and Wes Shivers proved that they’re not quite ready for primetime. Plus, Roy Nelson lands on Team Rashad’s shitlist and Kimbo Slice gets picked to fight.

The episode opens with Justin Wren and Roy Nelson talking about how they both want to take out Kimbo. Says Big Country: "I’ve been trying to get that one for years." Foreshadowing!

In practice, Rampage "got specialness" for Kimbo, and his coaches give the Miami Pound Machine a crash course on ground-fighting, while Kimbo tries to sponge it up. Meanwhile, Rashad Evans is feeling good about his team and wants to make sure his guys are mentally strong and moldable, but Roy spends most of his practice time joking around and pushing back against his coaches. Team Rashad assistant coach Trevor Wittman gives him a firm dressing-down in the locker room: "To me, you’re uncoachable…instead of listening, you always have a rebuttal…you got knocked out by Arlovski, do you want that to happen again? If you don’t want to keep it serious, I’m gonna ask Rampage if he needs another guy."

(Props: CRE)

Well, nobody’s calling for his head yet, but it’s clear that Dana White and Rashad Evans are more than a little disappointed by the latest chapter in the Rampage Done Lost His Mind saga. During an appearance on the Carmichael Dave Show, White claimed that his criticisms of Quinton Jackson‘s acting pursuits were only done with Jackson’s best interests in mind:

(‘Okay, final offer. You take me back in the UFC and I’ll give you this hat that I made out of a sofa. Going once…’)

Before he burns any bridges with the UFC, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson might want to take a look at the cautionary tale of Roger Huerta.  After losing what was supposed to be his last match in the UFC before running off to a land of riches and pain-free adulation in Hollywood, Huerta now says he might like to stick around and see where this fighting thing takes him.  And what caused this tremendous shift from the guy who signed a development deal with Lion’s Gate Films and has been very vocal about his displeasure with the UFC in the past?  From the sound of it, this acting plum isn’t quite as sweet as Huerta thought it would be:

“I’m still open to acting,” said Huerta. “Hopefully we get something going with that, but I’m not going to prioritize (acting) now. I’ll still prioritize fighting. If the UFC wants me back, I’d be willing to go back. …We started looking at the things we were going to do with Lion’s Gate.  We’ve looked over some roles, but nothing that I’ve wanted to sink my teeth into (yet).”

Translation: I thought doing this one cheesy role in a video game movie would lead to gigs where I co-starred with Scarlett Johansson and blew up helicopters, but instead all I got offered was a role opposite Vanessa Johansson in the sequel to “Shark in Venice.”

("I want my belt back! And a prominent role in the next Wayans Brothers comedy!" Photo courtesy of Vancouver Sun.)

We’ve witnessed enough of Quinton Jackson‘s bizarre interviews and vehicular freak-outs to know that he’s not the most stable human being on the planet. But we were still shocked by the long blog entry he posted on his website last night, announcing his retirement from MMA; registration is required, so just click here if you’re not already a member. According to Jackson, his career with the UFC has been an endless run of unfortunate obligations, bait-and-switch, and disrespect. Here’s a quick recap:

— He accepted the UFC 71 fight with Chuck Liddell even though he needed another tune-up match to get over with American fans. When the fans booed him after the fight, it hurt him deeply. His subsequent fight against Dan Henderson was announced before he was told about it.

— He should have gotten an immediate rematch with Forrest Griffin because the fight was so close. He instead fought Wanderlei Silva while nursing a jaw injury, which was risky "because of all the drama that was happening to me at the time," then fought Keith Jardine "as a favor to the UFC instead of getting my belt back (which wasn’t even worth it to me financially)."

(Props to Ronnie James Dio)

Heads up, Potatomaniacs: Our new t-shirt design is being printed up as we speak, and we’re giving away the first four before they’re even available in CP’s high-tech online store. For the vision-impaired, the message on the back says "MMA Is Not a Crime." Wear it, and tell the world that you support the sport, and that you also love to party. Scoring the brand-new tees are…

GEE-yuh-TEEN on "Dr. Johnny Benjamin Sets the Record Straight Re: Piss-Drinking": You think Machida asks for his piss sample back from the NSAC after the drug tests are complete?

Brock SMASH puny human odour on "How Angry Does Quinton Jackson Get on ‘TUF’ 10?": Soon afterwards, that door had a miscarriage.

superflat on "Question of the Day: Does It Matter If No One Cares About a Fight Night’s Main Event?": Offshore barge means there’s the chance they fill-in the undercard with a monkey knife fight. And to answer your question, I’ve sat through whole episodes of "Sabado Gigante" thinking I was watching Bellator.

(Props: Spike.com)

I kind of figured Tiki Ghosn was dead weight on Team Rampage’s staff, but in this clip from next week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, he proves himself to be a very patient and encouraging teacher. Kimbo Slice is a sponge during his extra lessons on the ground-game, and you have to admit, his reversal at the -0:50 mark is as smooth as Country Crock. Rampage says he sees himself in Kimbo, and wants to show him a few things that worked in his own fights. Hopefully the extra attention proves useful, because his housemates are gunning for him in episode 2. As the narrator intones at the end, "is it time for Kimbo Slice to finally step into the Octagon?" No, probably not yet, but why else would you tune in?

The tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter kicked off last night after UFC Fight Night 19, and thank God there are no members of the Browning family involved this time. We won’t bother recapping the first few minutes of the show, which you’ve already seen. Suffice it to say that the trash-talk between coaches Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans comes early and often. Fighter evaluations begin, with Greg Jackson helping Rashad determine who the mentally toughest fighters are by watching them hit heavy bags. James McSweeney and Brendan Schaub are actually teammates of Evans back in Albuquerque, and Rashad wants them on his TUF squad.

Rampage’s right-hand man during the show is Tiki Ghosn, who you may have seen in Danavlogs giving/receiving surprise slaps to the balls. Rampage thinks the guys need to spar and wrestle with each other to get an accurate sense of their skills. His verdict? "Roy Nelson has a big-ass belly. We checked him out, and he’s fat." Also, he starts calling Darrill Schoonover "titties." "Let’s see whatchu got, titties," he says. "Don’t bounce like that, you’ll distract me with them titties." Come on, man, gynecomastia is no laughing matter.

Interestingly, Kimbo Slice seems to handle Roy Nelson fairly easily in their sparring sessions, though Rampage notices that Kimbo’s ground skills are sub-par. Still, his takedown defense might make up for it.

(Props: The DAM Show via CageWriter)

The days of Quinton Jackson being one of the UFC’s most dependable workhorses are over. After his second coaching stint on The Ultimate Fighter (which premieres tonight at 10 p.m.), Dana White was going to reward Rampage with a fight against arch-rival Rashad Evans in his hometown of Memphis. But the lure of mainstream stardom was impossible to resist, and that fight has been pushed back to TBA. Now, the logic of hosting UFC 107 in Memphis has been lost, the light-heavyweight title picture becomes a little more complicated, and White, who feels like he deserves more loyalty after standing by Jackson during his mental breakdown last year, is pretty pissed off:

So angry that he tears a cardboard door to shreds in the Ultimate Fighter training center. (It’s a reality TV show set — you can’t really expect quality construction.) We’re not sure what Rashad did to set him off, but judging from their performances against a common opponent, Rampage would easily beat Brock Lesnar.

("I’m gettin’ that belt back, sucka.")

It looks like Rashad Evans has another reason to hate Quinton Jackson’s guts. As Sugar revealed on yesterday’s edition of the “It’s Time” radio show with Bruce Buffer, Evans and Jackson will not be fighting at UFC 107 as originally planned, due to the demands of Rampage’s role in the upcoming A-Team movie. Said Evans:

(Props: Spike.com.)

With The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights kicking off eight days from now, Spike has released this eight-minute taste of the season premiere. As soon as Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans show up on screen, the jibber-jabbering begins. Evans says that Rampage is too slow, and his big head is too easy a target. Rampage says that Rashad’s last fight proved he has no chin, and he ain’t fought nobody. Then, 15 of the castmembers walk in, and holy crap is Marcus Jones a large man. Dana White comes in to introduce a steely-eyed Kimbo Slice, who seems quite aware of the target on his back. Though Brendan Schaub doesn’t approve of Slice’s presence ("when he walked in, it was kinda like the sheep entering the room with a bunch of wolves"), Rampage claims first-pick dibs on him — and that’s just fine with Rashad. Watch how the team picks play out next Wednesday (9/16) at 10 p.m, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

(You know why that girl is covering up her cooch with her cell phone? Because she’s classy. Photo courtesy of picapp.)

From moviesblog.mtv.com:

Ugh. Consider us pwned once again. The Sun — which has given us such stellar reporting as Chuck Liddell vs. Anderson Silva at UFC 95 and Chuck Liddell vs. Randy Couture at UFC 99 — is almost never reliable, and we’re going to take a break from believing anything they say until further notice. For example, this report about a 1-1 draw in a soccer match between Olomouc and Everton? Horseshit.

Unfortunately, this means that the role of B.A. Baracus will probably go to a rapper like 50 Cent or The Game, who just don’t have the same gruff, opinionated vibe as Mr. T. Not casting Rampage feels like a missed opportunity. Anybody want to launch a petition to convince The A-Team‘s producers to give him the role?

(Mr. T pities your broke-ass chain.)

According to The Sun, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has been confirmed for the role of perpetually angry B.A. Baracus in Joe Carnahan‘s movie remake of The A-Team. Jackson beat out rappers The Game and 50 Cent, who were also being considered for the role that Mr. T made famous. The casting is no surprise considering Jackson’s extensive acting reel, which includes being wrecked by Vinnie Jones in Midnight Meat Train, playing an MMA fighter in Never Surrender, and sexually assaulting our reporter. The flick is scheduled for release next summer, and will reportedly feature Liam Neeson as John "Hannibal" Smith and The Hangover star Bradley Cooper as Templeton "Face" Peck. The role of "Howling Mad" Murdock is still up for grabs at this time.

(Props: Hywel Teague; hint)

(Props: Mouastarz209; hint)

Yesterday we took a look at some classic MMA moments recreated in MS Paint, and suffice it to say, Potato Nation was inspired. Thanks to everyone who e-mailed us drawings of their own, many of which made us laugh our asses off. Our two favorites are above, and a few more are after the jump. Yes, you’re all eligible for free t-shirts.

(Props: Spike via BloodyElbow)

Spike TV has released a whole mess of interview clips featuring the stars of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, which premieres September 16th after UFC Fight Night 19. The clip at the top is your standard Rampage vs. Rashad gum-flapping session, with Quinton Jackson saying that the Team Rashad heavyweights are "lil’ bitty," "garbage," and "booboo." (?) Meanwhile, Rashad predicts a lot of tantrums from his rival. The second video reveals something interesting that I guess we should have seen coming — Evans’s "assistant coach" will be none other than game-plan master Greg "Yoda" Jackson. Once you hear Greg talk about "personal growth plans" for each fighter, it’s hard to imagine how Team Rampage will compete in the mental game.

Now let’s check in with some of TUF 10‘s heavyweight hopefuls…

(Props: MMA Scraps)

We’re less than two months away from the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, and it’s hard not to get excited about the first brief shots of Kimbo Slice walking out to the TUF cage and pacing around before a fight, with Rampage Jackson possibly in his corner (see the -00:09 mark). Plus, the fact that Jackson and Rashad Evans will hate each other’s guts from day one could bring back some of the Tito vs. Ken magic of season 3. So far, everybody involved is playing it very close to the vest in regards to how the fights played out this season. But the interview after the jump may suggest that Slice shook off the haters and did, at the very least, aight.

(Props: FightLaunch via nyhcloyalty. Language NSFW.)

FightLaunch has just updated their YouTube page with about 20 different videos of Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal talking shit to each other in a van on the way to an autograph signing at last weekend’s UFC Fan Expo. I don’t expect anybody to sift through all of this stuff so I’ll just start with the first one I came across (see above), which gives you a decent sense of what the feud is about.

Basically, Rampage said he was the best fighter in the world, and King Mo implied that it was in fact he who was the best fighter in the world — both completely valid points of view, by the way. Anyway, this angered Rampage, who points out that Mo hasn’t fought anybody of note. Mo says that Rampage used to bump gums when he was an up-and-comer too, and Rampage denies that he ever bumped gums to this extent. Rampage observes that "King Mo" is a fitting nickname, as royal families tend to be inbred. Then this Caucasian in the backseat starts singing "Kumbaya" like an idiot, and Rampage tells him to shut his white ass up. The white guy says something about being in the hood, and Rampage replies: "Yeah, your ass probably been in a hood, ya fuckin’ KKK-lookin’ motherfucka." Meanwhile, Bobby Lashley is sitting there smiling politely, just itching to get away from these psychos.

After the jump: King Mo first enters the van, and gets insulted about 30 times in 60 seconds. If you want to see more, go for it.

(The man must be stopped. Photo courtesy of the UFC 100: Weigh Ins set on Combat Lifestyle.)

(Judging from the jersey colors, it’ll be Team Black vs. Team Black. Subtle. Photo courtesy of Spike. Click for larger image.)

Spike TV revealed the complete cast of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights this afternoon via press release. Here’s who will be bunkin’ up in the TUF house:

Zak Jensen – standout wrestler at Augsburg College
Marcus Jones – former 1st round NFL draft pick who had a six-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Scott Junk – Division II All-American football player at Southwest Oklahoma State and fought in UFC 76.
James McSweeney – former international kickboxing and Muay Thai champion
John Madsen – defeated Brock Lesnar in a high school wrestling match
Matt Mitrione – played for New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings
Roy Nelson – former IFL Heavyweight Champion
Demico Rogers – high school football and wrestling star
Brendan Schaub – played for Buffalo Bills and Arena Football’s Utah Blaze
Darrill Schoonover – decorated Army veteran
Wes Shivers – former member of the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons
Wes Sims – fought two heated battles with former UFC champ Frank Mir at UFC 43 and UFC 46
Kimbo Slice – former EliteXC heavyweight contender and YouTube sensation
Abe Wagner – played linebacker at Michigan Tech and has a degree in mechanical engineering
Mike Wessel – UFC veteran and former strength and conditioning coach at University of Arkansas
Justin Wren – All-American high school wrestler

CagePotato.com Interviews Quinton Rampage Jackson – Watch more Funny Videos

When we sent our friend Heather Nichols to interview Quinton Jackson on the set of an upcoming Super Dave Osbourne special, we had no idea it would open up such a massive can of worms. What you’ll see above is the interview that everyone expected — ‘Page talks about his rivalry with Rashad Evans, what he’s doing differently during his second stint as a TUF coach, and Michael Bisping‘s chances against Dan Henderson, all in a very reserved and polite sort of way. And then this happened. Crazy. Props to Heather for keeping her cool; you can show her some love at Twitter.com/HeatherNichols, Facebook.com/HeatherNicholsActress, and MySpace.com/HeatherNicholsActress. Bonus pics of the Internet’s most famous dry-hump victim are below.

(Props: computercowboytv via FiveOunces.)

Allow us to translate for those who don’t speak jive:

Computer: Hey everybody, it’s Computer. You may remember me as the personal assistant from Three Six Mafia’s old reality show, Adventures in Hollyhood. I’m here with my friend Quinton Jackson. Quinton, would you like to say a few words?

Jackson: Hey guys, Rampage here. My friend Computer and I are from the Southern United States; you should already know what that implies. By the way, I punch people in their mouths. I know, it’s not really relevant to the conversation at hand, but I’m a little intoxicated, and it’s what I do.

Kimbo wants his belt and flexes his moob. Be afraid; be very afraid.

(Props: youtube.com/ufc)

Recession? What fuckin’ recession? Even in this economy, Zuffa has enough disposable income to buy an almost 100% intact sabretooth tiger skull, freshly pulled out of La Brea. It’s so beautiful that you can tell the fossil salesman, deep down, would rather have it displayed in polished glass and soft lighting in his personal study, and not on a table in the UFC offices where Rampage can put his face up against it and make bad breath jokes. But that’s the life of a bone dealer — heartbreak, scattered with moments of unbearable ecstasy.

Also in this installment of the UFC 99 Danavlog, DW takes in Sunday’s WEC show (where some horrible drunk bitch keeps demanding one more picture), drools over Marty Cordoba‘s hot bod, and reviews the sick televised card for Saturday’s show. FYI, the pay-per-view for #99 starts at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT, with a replay at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT.

After the jump: Mike Swick beats the crap out of some focus mitts; he’ll take on Ben Saunders on the main card of UFC 99.

(Props: Brian Rule)

You loved him in "Wandy Throws the Hooks" — now, noted MMA impressionist Anderson Silva is back with this tribute to Bruce Lee. You’ll be amazed at his mimicry of broken-English kung fu dubbing, and his classic towel-as-nunchaku routine will bring a tear to your eye. Buy your tickets today!

In this CageWriter video from an Ultimate Fighter media day held yesterday in Las Vegas, UFC prez Dana White gives a few more details about the signing of Kimbo Slice and his future with the organization. Notably, Dana repeats his assertion that Kimbo’s TUF contract will be the same as everybody else’s, but adds that it will be "a lot fucking different" if he actually wins the show. He refutes the theory that Kimbo will be protected in any way in the matchups or saved for the later episodes, and says that theoretically he could be picked first to fight. Also, Icey Mike is one of the smartest guys he’s met in this business, apparently.

After the jump: Quinton Jackson says he doesn’t trust his temper around Rashad Evans and hopes he can get through TUF 10 without going to jail. Plus, day 2 of Dana White’s WEC 41 blog, in which DW tries to get predictions on the Faber/Brown match from some of his fighters — like many casual MMA fans, Wanderlei Silva and Rampage aren’t even aware that it’s happening — then Dana tries one of those soul handshakes with Rashad and calls him "homey."

(The question is, will Rampage get hit so hard he does "The Carlton"? Props to rubmyclips via TheGarv.)

Deal with it:

UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida and #1 contender Quinton Jackson are letting some cats out of some bags this morning. First we have the above image taken from the homepage of Machida’s official site, which announces that Machida and Jackson will be fighting each other in September — we’re guessing at UFC 103, since that show is currently without a main event, though the Couture/Nogueira card is also earlier that month.

But here’s the weird part: TUF 10 is slated to premiere in September — and weren’t Machida and Rampage supposed to be coaching against each other? Well, Rampage will definitely be a coach on the show (visual proof after the jump), but new reports indicate that the Dragon will be sitting this season out.

(UFC 98 post-event press conference footage, courtesy of CageWriter.)

Confirming what many of us had already assumed, Dana White announced at Saturday night’s press conference that new UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida will make his first title defense against former champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Though the match isn’t tied to a specific event yet, White also announced (perhaps not coincidentally) that the UFC would be holding a show at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on October 24th.

So, quick MMA rumor math: Machida will be fighting Rampage later this year + Rampage will be one of the coaches on TUF 10 = We might be seeing the Dragon lead a team of heavyweights on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter.