Fame is a funny thing. One second it has you teaching tomorrow’s youth how to rape transsexuals in parking garages, and the next it has you teaching women (and possibly transsexuals) to defend themselves from said rapists. Such is the case with former UFC light heavyweight champion, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, who recently posted the above flyer on the Twitter account of his fitness academy along with the following info:

Rampage is giving back to the community and hosting a free self defense seminar for women on March 28th.

Who wants to bet that Page’s first bit of sage-like defense advice will be to purchase a pair of his patented anti-rape shoes? After staring at a pair for over an hour at my local Foot Locker the other day, I’ve determined that the only possibly explanation for the millipede-like protrusions on the underside of those things is that they act like some sort of Inspector Gadget spring device when someone is cornered. Or being raped.

So ladies, how many of you are ready to let the man who put the “sex” in sexual assault teach you how to avoid being a victim?

-J. Jones 

“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*

Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.

Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.

(“You are SO lucky I’m wearing shoes that restrict my movement to baby steps or I’d knock you out right here.” Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.)

All 22 fighters scheduled to compete on tomorrow night’s UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson card will be hitting the scales live from the Chicago Theatre in, you guessed it, Chicago starting at 5 p.m. EST. Luckily for you, we will be hosting a video of the weigh-ins RIGHT HERE. I know, right? The things we do to ensure that you guys are happy.

Anyway, the weigh-ins kick off in just a few minutes, so get in here for all the action!

(Quick poll – Which is funnier: Miller’s hair or Shields’ attempt at a mean mug?) 

You can hate on the over-the-top theatrics of professional wrestling all you want, but there’s no denying the sport’s influence on the world of MMA. Do you think we would have ever seen Jonathan Ivey break out “The People’s Elbow” in a fight if The Rock hadn’t done it first? And how about that Chael Sonnen character, who we would all just write off as another boring wrestler if not for his Billy Graham-esque heel routine? The list goes on and on, but greater than the signature moves, greater even than the whimsical trash-talking pro wrasslin’ has inspired in our great sport, is the post-fight cage confrontation.

It has been responsible for some of the most unintentionally hilarious highs and Gus Johnsony lows that MMA has ever seen, yet we can’t seem to look away when such an inherently silly situation is presented in the aftermath of a fight. The UFC clearly understands this, and in an effort to set up everyone’s dream match of Anderson Silva vs. Jon Jones Georges. St. Pierre, both the UFC and Silva’s manager have hinted that not only is the middleweight champ going to be in attendance at UFC 154, but should St. Pierre emerge victorious, the two will face off in the cage and lay the foundation for the next great MMA superfight. So with that in mind, we’ve compiled a brief, albeit memorable, video tribute to the post-fight confrontation. Enjoy.

(Whenever Rampage grabs his nuts in public, there will always be at least one man in the background, staring at his ass with an intense mixture of sadness and longing.)

Not that he ever had real evidence of the UFC trying to sabotage him as he’s implied many times — in between saying that the organization and Dana White saved his life, of course — but it is now official that the UFC does just about all it can to promote and give Quinton “Rampage” Jackson opportunities.

Jackson has publicly maintained that he wants to fight just one more time for the UFC because he hasn’t received enough respect from them or gotten match-ups that he likes. Even as he apparently readies to leave the organization he was light heavyweight champion of, it turns out that the UFC offered Jackson a role as team coach on TUF 17, opposite of Chael Sonnen, before they offered current champ Jon Jones the job, which he accepted. Jackson, of course, turned down the chance to coach TUF for a second time and to fight Sonnen at the end of the season.

“Forget TUF,” Jackson told MMAFighting.com yesterday. “I’m not interested in that.”

What, exactly, is Jackson interested in these days? Evidently not money, big fights or increased exposure? Oh yeah, Jackson has continually said that he wants “exciting” fighters.

“I don’t want to fight Chael. He’s the kind of fighter that I don’t want to fight. He’s a boring fighter that just wants to hump people.”

(Will it ever get old?)

Here at CagePotato we don’t mind doing things by the book if we can still have a good time doing it. So, we didn’t mind enjoying a few modern classics when the UFC made them available through youtube.

After the jump you can too. Full fight videos of Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen II, Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping: Comeuppance, and Jon Jones vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson.

These are all good’uns so if you’re in America, enjoy part of your day off by watching some of the world’s best fighters get after it. And if you don’t have the day off, get back at your employer passive aggressively by wasting a couple hours watching these on the job.

(“Call me Aldo Montoya again, bitch!”)

By Seth Falvo (@SethFalvo)

When Nick Ring walked to the cage on Saturday accompanied by professional wrestling legend Bret “The Hitman” Hart, it was one more example of mixed martial arts’ quirky love affair with professional wrestling. Oh sure, we like to pretend that we have nothing in common with those peculiar Puroresu practitioners because our sport is real, both in terms of the violence and the personalities associated with it. Nonsense. With fake fighters crossing over to the real stuff, real fighters crossing over to the fake stuff, fake matches “borrowing” their outcomes from real fights, real promos “borrowing” from the classic fake stuff and multiple guys dabbling in both sports, the line between the two is arguably blurrier now than it was back when Ken Shamrock was ankle locking fools in the World Wrestling Federation.

It should come as no surprise then that we’ve seen our share of professional fighters attempting honest-to-God professional wrestling moves in real fights. We know, we know: We’re totally not supposed to be trying this stuff at home. But fortunately for us, the following brave men have ignored the countless warnings, the advice of their trainers and their own common sense to provide us with the most entertainingly reckless ways to injure their fellow men.

But before we break out the face paint and spandex, let’s establish how I’ll be ranking such absurd maneuvers. The moves will be ranked based on their immediate effectiveness, how true to form they stay to their kayfabe counterparts, and the competence of their opponents. Let’s face it: Even if you do something insanely cool and difficult from professional wrestling in an MMA fight, if you then get knocked out, you still look like a chump. Let’s also acknowledge that a punch to a downed opponent has no business being called The Worm without the accompanying theatrics. Finally, it’s a lot easier to pull off a complex move in a fight when your opponent totally sucks at fighting. Those are my rules, and if you’re not down with that, I got two words for ya: LET’S BEGIN!

(Hello Quinton, Areva Mookjai here with the Thailand Lady-Boy Observer, I was just wondering if…wow, you go right after it, don’t you?)

We almost feel silly reporting on this, being that there is no way in hell this quarrel will actually be settled in the near future, but just in case you haven’t heard, Quinton Jackson and Chael Sonnen are apparently not a fan of one another, you guys. If you recall, during our thrilling interview with Page a couple of months ago, Jackson stated that he thought Sonnen was “a fool” and was tired of people asking him questions about the former middleweight title challenger on Twitter.

This is where we’d normally say something like, “Time has a way of healing all wounds,” but then of course, we wouldn’t be talking about Rampage Jackson, a man who seemingly has a gripe with everyone and everything from American fans to the UFC to driving down the correct side of a freeway. During a brief interview with MMAElite.net, Jackson aired out his dirty laundry in regards to Sonnen, claiming that he should “leave the UFC because that’s what he said he was going to do if he lost.” Also, “F*ck Chael.” While the former remark could be passed off as a simple criticism, the latter not so much:

Join us after the jump for Chael’s response, which is a doozy. 

(What?! Every beast needs to take a cat nap every now and again.) 

For reasons we will never truly understand, a lot of emphasis seems to be placed on the monikers designated to a given fighter. For guys like Randy “The Natural” Couture, the nickname often represents an extension of a their personality, or an underlying philosophy that they bring into the cage. Guys like Renato “Babalu” Sobral, on the other hand, carry perhaps the most authentic nicknames of them all; names that, although holding little to no meaning in terms of the fight game, were bestowed upon the fighter as a child and simply stuck. And then there are guys like Justin “The Nsane1″ McCully, whose nicknames were most likely derived from an ill-fated, drunken AOL Instant Messenger conversation at 3 a.m. with the intent of finding something “fresh” and “intimidating” to bring to the table.

But even lower on the nickname totem pole than the Joe Lauzons and the Kendall Groves of the world are the guys whose nicknames completely clash with the public’s perception of who they truly are, their gameplan once they step into the ring, or simply their abilities as a fighter in general. So it is with that in mind that we present you with a brief rundown of the top ten fighters who are in desperate need of a name change if they want to continue to be taken seriously.

#10 - Sam “Hands of Stone” Stout

Not only does Stout have only one knockout to his credit in his 13-fight UFC career, he only has one finish in his UFC career. Granted, the KO he managed to pull off against Yves Edwards at UFC 131 was a freakin’ brilliant one, but you don’t see Chad Mendes calling himself “The Guillotine Machine” because he was able to pull it off once a couple years ago. Perhaps “Hands of Limestone” would be something a little more appropriate.

By Jared Jones

I’m going to level with you for a second, Potato Nation. Last Friday, around 1 p.m. EST, I sat down for a twenty minute phone interview with none other than former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. As you may or may not know, Rampage has a series of IPhone/Android video games coming out, the first of which is aptly named “Rampage Punch.” You can learn all you need to know about the game in the above video, and you can download the apps for IPhone here and for Android here.

Much to my chagrin, when I tried to pry into Quinton’s beefs with everyone from the UFC to Chael Sonnen, I was pretty much denied any worthwhile answers, and told by MEDL Mobile’s publicist, who was also on the line, to keep the questions within the realm of video games. I’m not sure how many of you consider yourselves “gamers,” or care to hear what Rampage has to say about video games, but needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I do not own a smart phone, and the last console I ever purchased was an N64, because there is no point trying to find a console that will top perfection. I understand that Mr. Jackson is a busy guy, and probably has to do hundreds of interviews with low-level bloggers/writers like myself, but considering how vocal he has been about all of the goings-on in his MMA career as of late (ie. the stuff you’d actually be interested in), the fact that I was more or less relegated to a puff piece on a video games, for an MMA blog nonetheless, was disappointing to say the least.

This is in no way a jab at Quinton, because I was more than appreciative to be able to talk to him, but rather a truthful statement of how the interview went down. So it is with this fair warning that I present to you my conversation with Mr. Jackson as it played out, and allow you to decide upon it’s merit. There are definitely some interesting things to take away from this interview, but if you are not a gamer, most of it will likely not be your cup of tea.

CAGEPOTATO.COM: So I’ve been playing your Rampage Punch app for the past few days and I was wondering, could this game actually help the keyboard warriors of the world improve their punching power?

Rampage: “I’m sure it will help a lot of people. It’s just basically a game showing you where [your punching power is] at. You might need to go back and work on it some more if you’re not getting high numbers.”

(And then it’s back to the glory days.) 

Fresh off a unanimous decision win over Thiago Silva at UFC on FUEL 2 in Sweden, rumor has it that Alexander Gustafsson is being looked at as a potential opponent for Quinton Jackson’s much desired swan song with the UFC. No potential date or venue has been mentioned.

Although it was previously reported that Jackson would duke it out with Mauricio Rua in a rematch of their PRIDE Total Elimination 2005 fight, our fanboyish dreams were almost immediately squashed when Page was forced to undergo double knee surgery in the fallout of his UFC 144 decision loss to Ryan Bader.

(God damn…Randy Couture is looking ROUGH these days.) 

It’s kind of a shame that we’ve barely managed to touch upon the aftermath of what was a fantastic UFC on FUEL event this past weekend, but simply put, UFC 145 has so much more on the line in terms of hype, hatred, and championship gold that the Swedish card can’t help but be placed on the back burner. The light heavyweight championship bout pitting Jon Jones against Rashad Evans has torn fans, friends, and even training camps apart before our very eyes, and we are just a business week away from finally being treated to its conclusion.

And among those divided by this match-up are the very fighters who once ruled the 205 lb division with an iron fist. Everyone from Chuck Liddell to Vitor Belfort to even Frank Shamrock (who was king of the division back in its “middleweight” days) recently weighed-in on the fight, and needless to say, they have it a lot closer than the bookies do at this point.

Let’s start with the division’s very first champion, Frank Shamrock, who was finally able to speak without unknowingly blinding his audience with the illuminating power of his braces:

This fight has a tremendous story behind it, with it having grown out of a friendship that went sour back when these two were teammates. The drama that’s fueling this is incredible. Fans can expect a fight that, stylistically, will be extremely challenging for Jones to overcome, and he’ll have fits with Rashad’s wrestling if he’s able to put Jon on his back. But ultimately, I see Jones being able to inflict more damage and walk away with the belt still in hand. This will be a fight that will not end as easily and devastatingly as Jones’s others have, but rather one of those moments in his career where he’ll have to pull himself up and battle until the final bell. In the end, this fight will help Jon become a better fighter and a better champion, and will endear himself to fans for years to come.

Join us after the jump to hear what the rest of the light heavyweight elite have to say about Bones/Suga.

(We don’t even know where to start.)

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

It appears that, distraught over his inability to get fired from the UFC, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has moved on to phase two of Operation: Batshit Condor. If you recall, phase one began with a DVD copy of The Secret and a six pack of Red Bull and ended with a high speed chase across Southern California. If thi video is any indication, phase two will undoubtedly end in the death of millions.

Perhaps realizing that his rap album won’t be climbing up the charts anytime soon, Jackson decided to return to his acting…I guess you’d call them, roots? The video that awaits you after the jump, which comes courtesy of FilmOn.com, is entitled “How To Pick Up a Gurl – Fast” with Rampage Jackson.

Prepare yourselves for this one, ladies and gentlemen.

(Equinso Ocha: Always holding the black man down.) 

We could be wrong, because he speaks with a comprehensibility that would give a stenographer an aneurysm, but it definitely sounded like boxing great/MMA not-so-great James Toney just called former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson a “slave” in a recent interview with EsNewsReporting.com. Granted, he also claims that the UFC paid, and is still paying him, a grand total of 1.5 million dollars for his UFC 118 “fight” against Randy Couture, a notion that we know is complete and utter bullshit, but listen to what he had to say when asked about Rampage’s recurring plight with the UFC:

That’s what you get for being a slave to the white man. Don’t be scared. Step up and speak for yourself. That’s why I got paid the million-and-a-half dollars and am still getting paid by the UFC. You know what I’m sayin’? The highest paid fighter ever. You feel me, fat boy? Me. And you been there…what, twenty years and you’re getting paid pennies? While I make millions?

Rampage, if you wanna fight me boy? Come on down to the gym and I’ll give you a job first. …you could be the sparring partner. I pay $50 for a sparring partner.

First off, if you supposedly got paid $1.5 large at UFC 118, why is it that you only pay your sparring partners a measly fifty dollars? Who looks like an asshole now? You, Mr. Toney, that’s who.

Check out the video interview, along with our best attempt at transcribing it to English, after the jump. 

(“Where is your hero now?”)

On this day, March 19, one year ago, a lanky 23-year-old from Rochester, NY stepped into the Octagon to face the biggest challenge of his young MMA career. He would meet the challenge head-on and walk out of the cage 20 minutes later a champion.

The fighter was Jon Jones and the challenge was PRIDE legend and then-UFC light heavyweight champ Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, whom he faced that night for the title. Jones demonstrated the poise and skill set of a veteran, finishing Rua in the third round after controlling the first two frames, and in doing so, he quieted the doubters, if only for a moment.

(Just another day researching hard-hitting stories here at the CP offices.) 

Arianny Celeste is officially a triple threat. Not only can she strike a pose with the best of them, but she can sing the roof off the rafters. And now….this.

Cast as “Japanese schoolgirl” in the latest video by electro pop band Manufactured Superstars, Ms. Celeste turns in a performance that will surely go down as the single greatest piece of acting in a four minute party sequence of all time. Simply put, it brought tears to my penis eyes. As for the music itself, well, it roughly reminds me of something I’d come upon if I happened to be playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, so make what you want of that, and join us after the jump for the video.

Also after the jump: everyone’s favorite HR disaster, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson slaps a willing fan, and Brendan Schuab goes ghost hunting. 

By Elias Cepeda 

Ok, I can’t possibly be the only one who is reminded of this classic Chappelle’s Show  ’Real World’ sketch whenever I watch Karyn Bryant get accosted by Quinton Jackson while her husband/cameraman/cuckold, Wade Eck silently and passively stands by and films the proceedings.

First there was Rampage’s attempt at motorboating Bryant to celebrate his win over Matt Hamill, and now this week he was back to his old tricks on Bryant’s MMA H.E.A.T. show. We’ve almost become numb to his antics and come to expect molestation from Rampage whenever a woman sticks a microphone in his face since it isn’t the first (or the second) female reporter Rampage “be humping” or otherwise sexually assaulting. Hell, we’ve lost count of the amount of videos out there of Rampage being his classy self.

Anyway, this time around Bryant had a full 45-minute sit down with Quinton, who we now know is all hopped up on testosterone injections, and besides his uncomfortable closeness to and constant leering and grabbing of Bryant, it was actually a pretty solid interview. He touched on a ton of topics including why he wants to leave the UFC, his rap career aspirations and how he helps his family and friends out financially.

(“Taking testosterone is no different than Flintstone vitamins. Ask Cris Santos.”)

Chael Sonnen made a stop by SPIKE TV last night and sort of addressed his TRT use exemption and the suspension he received following his UFC 117 title fight with Anderson Silva for failing to disclose to California State Athletic Commission officials that he took the hormone prior to the bout.

Host Craig Carton segued into the topic while they were discussing Quinton “Rampage” Jackson’s recent revelation that he is on the youth tonic as well. Sonnen was quick to point out that there are plenty of other substances that are better performance-enhancing-wise, but then denied that testosterone was a performance enhancer. Classic contradictory and convoluted Chael.

“There’s two things there. Hold on. If you’re gonna associate the guy with TRT, make sure you also associate the fact that it’s legal and it’s not banned. Second thing with TRT is people are really getting confused. They look at TRT and they’re missing the stuff that really is good,” Sonnen explained. “TRT is eight, nine, 10 on the list of things that a person could take to help their careers go along. Secondly, any time a person says ‘performance enhancer,’ stop talking to them, because they don’t have the intellect to debate with you.”

(If it isn’t my old nemesis, “The Knee.” Come to finish me off, have you?)

Well this is interesting. Coming off a razor thin decision loss in a Fight of the Year candidate match with Dan Henderson at UFC 139, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua is looking to get back in the 205 lb mix. With many of the division’s elite already tied up in their own fights, the former UFC Light Heavyweight champ finds himself in a difficult position in terms of matchmaking. But according to Rua, there is one specific fight he has his eyes set on, and it’s not the one you would think. Here’s what he recently told Tatame.com:

The fight against Rampage will happen eventually. It’s inevitable and UFC knows it. He won’t retire before fighting me and neither am I (laughs).

This Saturday will mark the UFC’s triumphant return to Japan for the first time in 11 years, and what a card we have in store. Aside from Frankie Edgar fighting someone not named B.J. Penn or Gray Maynard (not that we were complaining), UFC 144 also offers a light heayweight sure to be slugfest between Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Ryan Bader, Yoshihiro Akiyama’s welterweight debut against Jake Shields, and Mark Hunt vs. Cheick Kongo.

The seven fight main card will be kicked off by a battle of top lightweight contenders when Joe Lauzon takes on Anthony Pettis, and the undercard features the the likes of Takanori Gomi and former K1 standout Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto, each attempting to rebound from recent losses. It’s safe to say that we are in for a hell of a night, so let’s all go get Henna tattoos to celebrate this glorious milestone.

Check out the pre-fight press conference video above, which, aside from the occasional translation flub, goes off without a hitch. Just a warning: due to the fact that everything is being translated into Japanese as it is being said, it is difficult to understand the questions at hand every so often. But honestly, who gives a shit? THE UFC IS BACK IN JAPAN, BABY!!!

While we’re discussing how awesome Japan is, join us after the jump for the anime-style trailer for UFC 144, which is easily the coolest thing you will see all day, and possible ever.

(Video courtesy of Sapo/IronForgesIron)

If your cable provider doesn’t offer Fuel and you missed the UFC 144 countdown show last night, not to worry, we got you covered again.

It’s been a quiet week media-wise for the event, mostly because the majority of the fighters on the card and the few reporters planning on attending the show have been travelling to Japan. It seems like more focus of MMA news this week has been on the upcoming Strikeforce card, which is curious considering Saturday night’s event is a decent one.

Enjoy it. After this event and UFC: Alves vs. Kampmann on March 2, there won’t be another show until UFC: Sweden on April 14. That’s a six week stretch without a UFC show. At least our wives will be happy.

Anyway, this countdown show was a decent one. It’s interesting to hear guys like ‘Rampage’ and Akiyama talk about the difference between the North American and Japanese crowds, especially when it was like comparing apples to oranges between PRIDE and the UFC. Now we’ll finally get to see the disparity first hand.

I think I was most impressed with the level of respect Akiyama showed his opponent, Jake Shields, whom he praised for his skill level and fight smarts. It’s rare to see that in a pre-fight interview. He even found a way to make boring and conservative sound better by saying that Jake “isn’t explosive.” ’Sexyama’ could sell a Kia to a BMW enthusiast.

Check out part two after the jump.

(“Please tell me he didn’t call anyone the C word.”) 

It didn’t take long for UFC color commentator Joe Rogan to acknowledge the recent criticisms aimed at him by Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. And despite being called a “fake ass” and a “girly, high-ass voiced rusty trombone player” (loosely translated), Rogan decided not to start a war of words with Rampage, and in fact was rather complimentary when discussing the former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion on his video podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience:

I love Rampage. I don’t mean to be rude when I assess things. I’m just trying to objectively try to figure out how this guy could be doing better than he’s doing. When I look at a guy Rampage, first of all, [he's] one of the most exciting fighters of all time. You go back to his fights in PRIDE like the Ricardo Arona fight or the Kevin Randleman knockout…he had a lot of great, great fucking fights in PRIDE. You know, I like [Rampage] a lot. I like him as a person. I enjoyed hanging out with him. 

Join us after the jump for the full video.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson recently sat down with Gary Alexander of Fighter’s Only Magazine for an exclusive interview, and per usual, provided several insights into the enigma wrapped mystery that is the former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion’s mind. On the heels of an unsuccessful title bid against Jon Jones, Jackson has opted for a training camp that won’t cost him six figures for his upcoming UFC 144 bout against Ryan Bader. According to Jackson, he had originally planned on returning to MusclePharm for the bout with Bader, but upon coming to the realization that it would in fact be cold in that part of the country, decided to stay at his own newly formed gym in Southern California.

For the most part, the interview was standard Rampage fare, chocked full of paranoid delusions, incoherent rambling, and a complete disregard for the interviewer beside him. You know, the stuff we love about ‘Page. But things took an interesting turn when Jackson was asked how he saw the Bader fight going down in a perfect world:

In a perfect world, I step in the cage, and I yawn just like just I did on you and he fuckin’ faints. And then I get my check and walk out there like, ‘Thanks!’ and I don’t even gotta do the interview with Joe Rogan’s fake ass…after you fight, if you win, you gotta go and Joe Rogan’s gotta do an interview with you and most likely he’s been talking crap about you the whole time.

Join us after the jump for more from this interview, as well as an interesting tidbit compliments of Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva.

In a recent interview given to Jim Rome, Dana White was a little more candid than we have seen when discussing Brock Lesnar’s recent retirement, specifically what was going through the former UFC Heavyweight Champion’s mind moments after becoming permanently incontinent compliments of an Alistair Overeem body kick. “It felt like I got kicked by a horse,” said Lesnar. Ok, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but White states that Lesnar didn’t see himself taking down “The Reem” anytime soon, figuratively or literally:

The conversations I’ve had with Brock Lesnar since that fight, all indications point to it’s over. … Here’s what Brock said to me, he said ‘I’ll tell you what after my surgery from diverticulitis, this last surgery I had, I have never felt so good in my life.’ He said ‘I’ve had the best camp I’ve ever had, no injuries, I was in great shape, all the things that could go right, went right, that guy is just that much better than me and it’s time for me to retire.

Well, this pretty much seals the deal on that issue. If there were any doubts as to Mr. Lesnar’s heart and true investment in MMA, here you go.

(Similar to Georges St.Pierre, MMA pundits, and most fans heading into UFC 129, Dana White was looking right past Jake Shields.)

2011 is approaching it’s final hour, Potato Nation, and when we typically take a look back at the year that was, we often lump things in terms of the very best, and more often than not, the very worst. But even though it has been arguably the biggest year in the sport’s History, it hasn’t gone without it’s fair share of snoozefests, sparring matches, and fights that simply didn’t live up to their own hype. For every Rua/Hendo, there was a Torres/Banuelos, so to speak, that kept us from having a full-on Chuck Liddell style freak out. It’s not that these fights made us angry, it’s just that they failed to make us feel anything.

In a way, they were actually a good thing for the sport, as they raised our appreciation for the epic slugfests, the back and forth brawls, and the technical battles to new heights. So it is for these unsung heroes that we bring you The Ten Most Forgettable Fights of 2011, presented in chronological order.

#10: Jacob Volkmann vs. Antonio Mckee

We know what you’re thinking, Potatoites, you’re thinking, “My God, it’s only been a year since this clown (dis)graced the UFC with that performance?” Well the answer is yes, and almost to the exact date. On January 1st at UFC 125, Anthony Mckee made his long awaited debut in the UFC. And when we say “long awaited,” we mean by none other than Mckee himself. You see, Anthony Mckee followed the James Toney method of trolling his way into the UFC through a shitstorm of self absorbed and ridiculous claims, despite only claiming seven finishes in his previous thirty contests. Well, DW took the bait, and threw Mckee humble wrestler and future threat to Homeland Security, Jacob Volkmann, for his big debut.

(Gina Carano, rising above her fears. Pic: MenVersus.com)
When signing a business contract, one must be acutely aware of the fine print. Companies often try to sneak in language and terms which may later allow them to catch the other party off guard and emerge victorious in the battle for the almighty dollar.

I’d like to think that signing a contract for an MMA bout is a bit more straightforward. You’re told upfront in no uncertain terms that the opposing party’s objective is to physically hurt you. It’s a special breed that can accept those terms and believe in themselves enough to sign on the dotted line.

Despite that rampant self-confidence—or perhaps because of it—many fighters attempt to psyche out their opponent and gain the upper-hand before the first punch has even been thrown. When successful, it makes for an easier night’s work. When it fails, the would-be intimidator is left looking foolish. The comeuppance may come in a laugh at his expense or a lop-sided asswhooping, but either way it’s a sight to behold.

Join us for a closer look at what happens when fear is not a factor in mixed martial arts.

(And that’s why I invented Twitter, Mr. Rampage, so men everywhere could express their feelings.) 

Though we reported earlier this week that it seemed as if Quinton “Rampage”  Jackson would not be getting his requested fight at UFC 144 in Japan, it turns out the former UFC light heavyweight champion will indeed be getting the wish he requested in the wake of his loss to Jon Jones at UFC 135. And though Stephan Bonnar was more than willing to face Page, the spot will be given to TUF 8 winner Ryan Bader instead.

Bader is coming off a first round knockout over Jason Brilz at UFC 139 that snapped a two fight losing streak to Jon Jones and Tito Ortiz at UFC 126 and UFC 132, respectively.

(I can’t see *why* they wouldn’t put him on the card. Video courtesy of YouTube/MMADigest)

It looks like the proposed light heavyweight bout between Stephan Bonnar and Quinton Jackson won’t be happening at UFC 144 in Japan as we previously predicted.

According to “Rampage,” who was told last month by UFC president Dana White that he would be on the February 25 card, he will not be fighting at the Saitama Super Arena that day and he’s not very happy about the news.

Anyone who has kids can tell you that it seems no sooner are you finished shelling out a wad of cash on one-and-done Halloween costumes then you’re being bombarded with Christmas wish lists from those little money pits, chock-full of useless and annoying toys that you can neither afford nor should ever consider giving to a child if you are the least bit sane. And before we can even sit down to a nice Thanksgiving meal that eventually erupts into a heated argument over why they let Chaz Bono compete on Dancing With the Stars, former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is here to remind us all that the gifts we do receive will likely be worse than even our pathetic standards could have predicted.

With the recent allegations aimed at former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, the sports world has been thrown into a bit of chaos in the past few weeks. The story, which has undoubtedly tarnished the legacy of not only the college itself but also its legendary football coach Joe Paterno, is one of the most shocking and disturbing events to surface in the history of competitive sports.

Amidst the scandal coach Paterno had announced that he planned to retire at the end of the season, but it turns out Penn State had other, more immediate plans in mind. And though Sandusky’s fate has yet to be determined, we can only hope that it involves Pinhead levels of torture. Unfortunately the sad fact is, it often takes a wrongdoing such as Sandusky’s in order to open our collective eyes to the world around us and take action to try and ensure that it never happens again. It is with this in mind that we bring you ten of the biggest skeletons in MMA’s closet.

Whether or not we’ll actually try to do anything but mock them is yet to be determined.

Check out ten of the dirty little not-so-secrets of MMA’s past after the jump.