Rachelle Leah

As part of the UFC's effort to help the Intrepid Fallen Heroes fund, they're holding an auction to complement the "Fight for the Troops" event on Dec. 10.  Among the items you can bid on is what's being billed in the video above as a "UFC VIP Experience." 

From the sound of it, you get to choose a fighter you want to hang with (don't say Tito Ortiz) and the UFC will fly you to an event where he's fighting, put you up in a hotel, and make you feel like you matter during a dinner with Dana White, Rachelle Leah, and some "UFC greats."  You also get to be part of your fighter's entourage, which means walking out to the Octagon with him and shouting 'represent!' while the camera man motions frantically for you to get out of the shot.

The high bid at the moment is $5,000.  The cause is about as worthy as they come, so if any of you have that kind of coin, we encourage you to go for it.  We also encourage you to go to the strip club and make it rain, because that always sounded like a cool thing to do and we know it, much like this VIP experience, will forever be beyond our grasp.

If the VIP stuff sounds a little out of your league, you can also bid on a copy of the book "Octagon," a limited edition Alligator duffle bag (just cause), or one of the thirty tickets to "Fight for the Troops" that's being made available to the public.  Or you can just sit at home and do nothing while your life slowly slips away.  Whatever seems more fulfilling.

The final results of our latest caption contest, as the polls closed at 8 a.m. ET:

JTho (25%, 113 Votes)
RTS (20%, 91 Votes)
JoseMonkey (14%, 63 Votes)
Ted Nutmeg (11%, 48 Votes)
The king adrock (8%, 34 Votes)
PHISTAKUFFS (7%, 33 Votes)
Geriatric Peon (6%, 26 Votes)
Horror Fighter (5%, 21 Votes)
Baba (4%, 17 Votes)
Jordan (1%, 6 Votes)

JTho and RTS, send your addresses to feedback@cagepotato.com and we'll send those signed copies of Rachelle Leah's Playboy issue out to ya right away. High fives to all the finalists; if you didn't win, you can still get a digital version of the entire issue here. Don't give up, Horror Fighter!

(Images courtesy of this week's caption contest.)

Voting — it's so hot right now. In honor of next week's election (and to prevent some of the inevitable bitching), we're gonna go back to having you guys vote for the winners of these things. Remember, two copies of the November issue of Playboy signed by Rachelle herself are on the line, courtesy of Playboy Digital. And the nominees are...

Ted Nutmeg: In a bittersweet moment, Lyoto realized that standing next the chick in the red skirt is the closest he'll ever come to scoring a knockout in the UFC.

PHISTAKUFFS: "Tito better be careful parking the car!"

RTS: Chick 1: "My man is a technician in bed."
Chick 2: "Sounds great!"
Chick 1: "It's actually quite boring."
Chick 2: "My man is a knock out artist."
Chick 1: "That sounds good."
Chick 2: "He only lasts a minute, if that."

Baba: Somewhere, Anderson and Thiago Silva are laughing in the midst of a Timberland shoot.

The king adrock: For the first time in career, Machida pressed the action.

JTho: After three grueling days and countless different models, the photographer was finally able to keep Alexander's knees from buckling, and Machida from back pedaling out of the shot.

JoseMonkey: This photo was taken just moments after someone yelled, "Hey douchebag!"

Jordan: "Ok, next question….what the fuck are you looking at?"

Geriatric Peon: The Transvestite Realization Face

Horror Fighter: "All right, take 'em off. It’s time to do the Condom Depot photos now."

Cast your vote in the poll on the right side of the page. The two captions with the most votes by 8 a.m. ET on Monday win magazines. You are welcome to cast write-in votes in the comments section below, but if they aren't shown above, they probably weren't that funny. So please do your civic duty as a CagePotato reader, and good luck to all the nominees!

(The November issue of Playboy, on newsstands now. To get a digital version of the entire issue, click here.)

I promised you all a sexy caption contest this week, and I'm a man of my word. Dig this — the lovely and talented Rachelle Leah has given two signed copies of her Playboy issue to CagePotato.com, and we're giving them away to the two readers who provide the funniest captions to the photo after the jump. Feel free to enter more than once, but please get all your captions in to the comments section by 6 p.m. ET on Thursday. Good luck, and be brilliant...

On Friday, we showed you Suzanne VanOrman's attempt to discredit MMA veteran/Oregon State Representative candidate Matt Lindland as a barbaric and well-paid cage-fighter. Well, here's one of Matt's attack ads. LOFL @ that garbage-ass green screen and Lindland's Meat Loaf-esque campaign platform. Good luck, buddy.

(Props: Yahoo! MMA Experts)
Michael Bisping defends his measured performance at UFC 89 in this video interview from The Telegraph.

After the jump: Keith Jardine answers questions at the post-UFC 89 press conference in his usual humble, quiet, completely unmarketable way, and the painfully attractive Rachelle Leah stops by Chelsea Lately to discuss her decision to do Playboy, while Chelsea drops in quirky vagina-slang at every opportunity and shows off her pet midget.