(“No way! You were the completely innocent victim of a vast conspiracy aimed at soiling your reputation TOO?! Somebody call Lance, we’ve got some work to do.”) 

You know, just once I would like to hear an athlete take full responsibility for their actions without needing an hour-long Oprah special to do so. I realize that as fans, we often refuse to acknowledge that the people we falsely idolize are capable of wrongdoing, but if the athletes that continue to get busted for banned substances/steroids/stevia were truly concerned about their fanbase, they probably wouldn’t be trying to cheat the system in the first place.

So you’ll excuse my rush to judgement, but suffice it to say, I ain’t buying the conspiracy theory that former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante laid out in a recent interview with Globo Esporte. As you might recall, Cavalcante tested positive for Stanozolol in the aftermath of his win over Mike Kyle last May, and was subsequently denied an appeal by the California State Athletic Commission in the months that followed. Although if you were to ask Rafael, he would tell you that the blood — or rather, the urine — is on the CSAC’s hands:

The organizers wanted to harm me. I had conducted a test in Brazil a week before the fight. I would not be so stupid to take any banned substance, the type of anabolic they claimed I took in fact makes a person gain weight. I’m already a heavyweight, would not take that. 

The urine sample was manipulated. When the form was submitted, it was dated on May 18, 2012, but in reality the sample was collected a day later on may 19. When we checked the form more carefully, we saw that there was another mistake. The collection was made at the HP Pavilion, where the event was held, but in the form it says collection was made at the hotel where we were staying.

(Props: FilmDrunk)

I know what you’ve all been thinking this week. You’ve been thinking “This whole pissed off and angry Anderson Silva is a frightening change of pace, and the press conference was fun I guess, but damn it, I need to know how Steven Seagal will take credit for all of this!” Well don’t worry, person who doesn’t exist – you won’t have to wait until after the fight to find that out.

Ariel Helwani caught up with Cockpuncher to discuss Anderson Silva’s upcoming rematch with Chael Sonnen. After appearing reluctant to give the mere mortal an interview, Seagal explained how Silva’s intense new attitude is entirely his doing. And those concerns you may be having over The Spider’s emotions affecting his performance? Don’t worry, Seagal has an answer for that, too.

Videos (Yes, multiple) after the jump.

(“Just gimme the ‘roids and pass the ‘lol, bussanothaneedle’a'zo…”)

Following Rafael Cavalcante‘s $2,500 fine and one-year suspension for testing positive for a banned substance, the California State Athletic Commission has confirmed that “Feijao” pissed hot for stanozolol, the anabolic steroid of choice for such MMA fighters as Tim Sylvia, Chris Leben, Ken Shamrock and Cris Cyborg. As a result, Cavalcante’s May 19th submission win over Mike Kyle has been overturned to a no-contest.

Cavalcante and his management team have already filed an appeal with the CSAC, and are awaiting a hearing date.

According to our handy guide to this sort of thing, the four failed drug tests so far this year (Cyborg, Lawal, Overeem, Cavalcante) mean that 2012 has already seen as many failed drug tests in MMA as 2010 and 2011 combined. At the current rate, 2012 will be the second most drug-fueled year in the sport’s modern history after 2007, in which a whopping 14 fighters tested positive for steroids.

Defense exhibit I: You can clearly see Feijao’s teammate slipping him something behind his back. Don’t waste your time, Feijao, it’s been tried before. (Photo: MMAJunkie.com)

If Dana White has been hexed with an “Injury Curse“, surely someone has placed a “Banned Substance Pox” on poor Scott Coker. After losing two stars in Cyborg Santos and Muhammed Lawal to failed drug tests earlier this year, he’ll now likely have to soldier on without the services of former Strikeforce Light Heavyweight champion Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante.

As first tweeted by Gabriel Montoya and reported by MMAFighting.com [thanks for doing the heavy lifting, guys], the California State Athletic Commission has suspended ‘Feijao’ for one year and fined him $2,500 after testing positive for a banned substance following his quick destruction of Mike Kyle last month at “Strikeforce: Barnett vs Cormier”. ‘Feijao’ stunned Kyle with a big knee in the opening moments of the bout then swarmed him with ground and pound before pulling guard, sinking in a guillotine choke, and drawing the tap—all in a cool 33 seconds.

CSAC’s George Dodd has yet to reveal which banned substance Cavalcante was popped for, but his manager, Ed Soares, isn’t buying it…

Mauro haters, hit mute now. Actually, everyone hit mute and read what I say about the fights below. (Video: YouTube/ShoSports)

Bruised and battered. Cut and bloodied. Josh Barnett’s face wasn’t one of a man who got out-wrestled last night. Olympic-level or not, wrestling doesn’t leave you looking like you put your head through a meat grinder. Don’t get me wrong, he did get out-wrestled last night, he just got out-struck as well. He got out-everythinged, if you want to get technical.

It didn’t have to be that way, of course. A lot of men would have wilted earlier–much earlier–in the onslaught of Daniel Cormier’s attack. But Barnett never thought of taking the easy way out, and today his face testifies to the evolving game of Cormier. The AKA product showed great versatility in his striking, staggering Barnett with heavy hands, head kicks, and knees. His combinations come fast, hard, and often, which explains why his hand surgeon is on retainer (yeah, he broke his hand again last night). When he did grab hold of “The War Master”, his grappling pedigree shone as well. He sent Barnett stumbling across the cage from the clinch and dolled out single-leg frequent flier miles, at one point flipping the former UFC champion in the air before slamming him to the mat.

(The time for talking is over. The time for looking into a camera and screaming has just begun. Photo via Esther Lin/SHO Sports.)

If you had told me 16 months ago that the Strikeforce 2011-2012 Heavyweight Grand Prix would conclude with an unheralded reserve-fighter ending up in the finals, and tournament favorite Alistair Overeem nowhere to be seen due to promotional poaching and a subsequent drug-test scandal, I would have said “Yeah, that sounds about right, actually.”

The good news is, Josh Barnett vs. Daniel Cormier is a hell of a matchup — a classic generational battle between a battle-tested old veteran and a hungry up-and-comer. (As it turns out, Barnett is only like a year-and-a-half older than Cormier, but work with me here.) Also on the main card: Gilbert Melendez and Josh Thomson fight for Strikeforce’s lightweight title for the third time, while light-heavyweights Mike Kyle and Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante throw down in a rematch of their own.

Handling the play-by-play for the tonight’s Showtime broadcast of Strikforce: Barnett vs. Cormier is our own Elias Cepeda, who will be posting live results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know how you feel in the comments section. You ready for war? Because guys, we are always ready for war.

(“Don’t look yet, but tell me if she’s looking at me.”)

It looks like Muhammed Lawal’s positive  steroid test  may have netted him a much bigger punishment than the fine and one-year timeout levied on him by the Nevada State Athletic Commission; he may also have missed out on a chance at redemption against the only fighter to beat him as well as a chance to regain the Strikeforce light heavyweight title.

(Props: Zee2tehPee)

If Strikeforce gave out performance bonuses like their big brothers at the UFC, the “Barnett vs. Kharitonov“ prelim match between Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos and rising Canadian star Jordan Mein would be a front-runner for Fight of the Night. After two entertaining rounds of stand-up, Mein ended the match in the third frame with the nastiest display of standing elbows in MMA history. Seriously, that’s not an exaggeration. Skip to about the 1:45 mark and tell me I’m wrong — this might even give Anderson Silva vs. Tony Fryklund a run for its money. To see the first two rounds of the fight (and everything else from the prelims), swing by IronForgesIron.

Mein’s victory upped his career record to 23-7, and lengthened a win streak that includes victories over Joe Riggs, Josh Burkman, and Marius Zaromskis. He’s been fighting professionally since 2006, and he’s 21 years old. You do the math on that one.

After the jump: Another highly satisfying knockout from the Strikeforce prelims, this one involving former light-heavyweight champ Rafael Cavalcante and Olympic freestyle wrestling silver medalist (and Strikeforce first-timer) Yoel Romero. We set up the video to skip past the first ten minutes of Romero avoiding the fight and taunting Feijao at every opportunity; trust us, we’re doing you a favor. When Cavalcante finally catches up with his dick-headed opponent, it is so, so good.

(“Dudes, *tell* me you just saw that!” Props: Esther Lin/Strikeforce)

Add the Strikeforce Light-Heavyweight Championship to the list of MMA’s Great Curses. When Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante fell victim to Dan Henderson‘s mythical “H-Bomb” right hand last night in Columbus, he became the fourth-consecutive Strikeforce LHW champ to lose the belt without making a single successful defense. (Quick refresher: Babalu Sobral lost it to Gegard Mousasi, who lost it to King Mo, who lost it to Feijao, who lost it Hendo.)

Time will tell if Dan Henderson suffers the same fate. In the meantime, the decorated vet’s arrival as champion helps bolster the 205′ers as a marquee division in Strikeforce. Besides Dan and all the former champions previously mentioned, SF’s light-heavyweight roster now includes guys like Roger Gracie, Mike Kyle, Rhadi Ferguson — tell Fedor Emelianenko to drop 20 pounds, and you’ve got the makings of another great World Grand Prix, especially if their heavyweight tournament continues to run into delays.

(Knocking out Wanderlei Silva at PRIDE 33 was “definitely a much bigger accomplishment than anything else I’ve done.” / Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

With 14 years of battles under his belt, Dan Henderson has bridged the gap between the old-school and the new-school. He started competing in 1997 — long before “Zuffa” and “the Unified Rules” entered the MMA lexicon — and his first four appearances were in single-night tournaments, where he was often pitted against seasoned fighters with years of experience. (Luckily, Henderson had his Olympic-caliber wrestling background to fall back on, and went 9-0 in those tournaments.)

Unlike many of his contemporaries, Henderson evolved with the sport, and has managed to remain one of the world’s top fighters. Coming off a first-round knockout of Renato Sobral in December, Henderson returns to the cage this Saturday in the main event of Strikeforce: Feijao vs. Henderson, where he’ll be challenging Rafael Cavalcante for the promotion’s light-heavyweight belt. We caught up with Dan to get some war stories about his long career and his thoughts on what lies ahead…

Becoming ‘Hendo’: The Brazil Open ’97 (6/15/97)
def. Crezio de Souza via TKO, 5:25
def. Eric Smith via technical submission (guillotine choke), 0:30

Strikeforce held a conference call on Tuesday ahead of its next major event December 4 in St. Louis. Besides CEO Scott Coker, also on the call were the card’s two main event fighters, former Pride welterweight and middleweight champion Dan Henderson and former Strikeforce light heavyweight title holder Renato "Babalu" Sobral.

Coker has intimated that the winner of the bout will likely be next in line for a shot at current Strikeforce 205-pound champ Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante, so the implications are much bigger than just a rematch that fans want to see.

The pair first squared off in 1999 under the Rings banner where Henderson took the split decision. Although Sobral says he isn’t approaching the fight as being his shot at avenging the debatable decision, but it’s clear that he still has a bitter taste in his mouth from the loss.

The highlights of the call are after the jump.

("Just relax and don’t think about where my other hand is.")

Unless you’re doing an interview with a small regional Canadian television station, if your teammate is fighting you’re pretty much obligated to say he or she is going to win or you may find yourself being greenlit the next time you show up for practice.

It’s no surprise then that Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante is picking his Team Nogueira training partner, UFC middleweight kingpin Anderson Silva to beat former UFC light heavyweight champ Vitor Belfort when the pair meet February 5 at UFC 126 in Las Vegas.

According to Feijao, who is ignoring the principle rule of training: what happens in the gym stays in the gym, says that he has never seen Belfort get an upper hand over Silva in rolling or sparring while the two trained together briefly at Black House.

“I’ve had the opportunity of training with both [Anderson and Vitor] and to see them training with each other," he told Tatame. I’ve never seen Vitor beating Anderson."

(Belts? We don’t need no stinking belts.)

Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker mentioned in an interview this week that the winner of the December 4 light heavyweight bout between Dan Henderson and Renato Sobral will likely be next in line for a shot at the promotion’s 205-pound titleholder, Rafael Cavalcante.

Coker’s revelation seems a bit questionable considering Sobral, who defeated Robbie Lawler at a 195-pound catchweight in his last bout hasn’t fought at 205 for the promotion since losing his title to Gegard Mousasi in 2009 and Henderson, who lost to Jake Shields in a title bout in his Strikeforce debut hasn’t fought under the SF banner at that weight at all.

Regardless of whether or not he beats Henderson or earns a shot at his old belt, Babalu says he may not stick around at light heavyweight for long, revealing that he wants to go wherever there are challenging fights.

"I’m looking for challenges now. Belts don’t mean as much to me any more. I want good match-ups. That’s what keeps me motivated to fight. I’d like to fight maybe at heavyweight. It depends. It all depends on the opponents. If you give me good match-ups, I’ll fight at any weight," Babalu tells CagePotato.com. "I can go up and I can go down. If it’s a good bout for me and I say I want to fight that guy, I’ll move to the weight they’re at. I don’t have any preference. It’s not about weight classes; it’s about fighters."

(Joey Beltran predicts a slugfest against Matt Mitrione during the UFC 119 Spike TV Prelims, and explains the origin of his "Mexecutioner" nickname. Props: FightMagazine)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– CSAC’s George Dodd Explains Why Chael Sonnen Was Allowed to Compete at UFC 117 (MMA Fighting)

– Chael Sonnen Plans To Appeal Drug Test + Jim Rome’s Take On Sonnen (MMA Convert)

– UFC 119: Frank Mir’s Last Run At Heavyweight Title? (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Dunham, Sherk Headed in Different Directions Leading Up to UFC 119 (Versus MMA Beat)

– This Is What Google Says About Your Favorite Fighter (MiddleEasy)

– Snowman’s Land: Jeff Monson Discusses Next Fight in Israel, Drop to Light-Heavyweight (LowKick)

– The Best Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante Highlight Reel Ever (MMA Scraps)

- Understanding Why Chael Sonnen Failed His UFC 117 Drug Test; a Procedural Look (Watch Kalib Run)

– Bas Rutten Comments on Steroid Use in Mixed Martial Arts (Five Ounces of Pain)

(Focused and ready for battle, King Mo stares into his opponent’s eyes, desperately trying to remember who the hell this dude is. Photo courtesy of allelbows.com)

Two title fights in the light-heavyweight and middleweight divisions, a lightweight slugfest between KJ Noons and Jorge Gurgel, and Bobby Lashley‘s latest bit of record-padding, all brought to you by the world-famous City of Syrup. Let’s be real — if you’re not watching Strikeforce tonight, you’re a damn fool. Or, you don’t have Showtime. Or, you have better things to do. Speaking of which, your usual live-bloggers are occupied tonight, so respected CagePotato contributor Matt Kaplan will be filling in. Round-by-round updates can be found after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page for all the latest, and let your voices be heard in the comments section. 
 

("Actually, Bobby is the one who’s adopted. Long story." Photo courtesy of allelbows.)

Clear your schedules, Potato Nation. CagePotato.com will be liveblogging tomorrow night’s Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Houston starting at 10 p.m. ET, so be sure to stop by. The fighters just stepped on the scales at the Toyota Center, and 86% of them were able to successfully hit their marks. Pretty impressive, guys! The numbers are below:

Main Card
Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (203.75) vs. Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante (203.5)
Tim Kennedy (185) vs. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (184.75)
K.J. Noons (156.25)* vs. Jorge Gurgel (154.75)
Bobby Lashley (246.5) vs. Chad Griggs (228.5)

Preliminary Card
Daniel Cormier (249) vs. Jason Riley (256.5)
Andre Galvao (170.75) vs. Jorge Patino ()**
Vinicius "Draculino" Magalhães (144.5) vs. Rocky Long (146.25)
Kier Gooch (155.5) vs. Adam Schindler (155.5)
Jose Santibanez (154.25) vs. Reynaldo Trujillo (155.25)
Humberto DeLeon (127.25) vs. Chad Robichaux (131)***
Chad Cook (205.25) vs. Arteneus Young (204)

* Gurgel allowed Noons the extra quarter-pound; Noons will not have to shed the additional weight.
** Wasn’t present at the weigh-ins; will weigh-in later this evening.
*** Was given an extra hour to lose one pound for the 130-pound catchweight bout.

Unrelated: You have the rest of the weekend to get in your final submissions for our ongoing desktop wallpaper contest with Throwdown. The entries have been awesome so far — but we want MORE! So get hustlin’ for your chance to win that $250 gear package.

(Cain Velasquez‘s new Lugz commercial. Yeah, he smashed that. Props: YouTube.com/MMAFightClub)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Punch Drunk Preview: WEC 50 (Heavy.com/MMA)

- Cro Cop Says He’s Not Ready for UFC 119 but Still Guarantees a First Round Knockout (MiddleEasy)

– Backstage: Ariel Helwani vs. Ed Soares (MMA Fighting)

– Total Fighter Payroll for Strikeforce Challengers Phoenix: $53,250 (MMA Convert)

– 10 Taekwondo Knockouts That Will Blow Your Mind (MMA Scraps)

– Shane Carwin still silent on steroid connection; media as well (Watch Kalib Run)

– Pettis: ‘Roller Doesn’t Want Any Part of My Stand-up’ at WEC 50 (Versus MMA Beat)

– Chael Sonnen Syndrome: Urijah Faber trash-talking his way to the WEC Bantamweight Title shot? (LowKick)

- Rafael Cavalcante: “I have been working hard for not just this fight, but for my dream, every day for six years.” (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Strikeforce Houston: Noons & Gurgel on Standing and Banging for a Title Shot (FIGHT! Magazine)

("Listen, Jacare, those hotel carpets are usually covered in…you know what, forget it.")

Strikeforce Houston is set to blast off this Saturday and your old pal Gambling Addiction Enabler has just one question: Could you loan us a few bucks until payday? Seriously, man, we’ve got some can’t-miss fight picks cookin’, and we swear it won’t be like last time. Thanks, bro. For real, you won’t regret this. Would it be cool if we used your shower?

The available betting lines, courtesy of bestfightodds.com:

Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (-376) vs. Rafael Cavalcante (+375)
Ronaldo Souza (-255) vs. Tim Kennedy (+215)
KJ Noons (-205) vs. Jorge Gurgel (+205)
Bobby Lashley (-500) vs. Chad Griggs (+370)
Daniel Cormier (-1350) vs. Jason Riley (+700)*
Andre Galvao (-280) vs. Jorge Patino (+240)**

* The Cormier/Riley and Galvao/Patino prelim fights will both be streamed live on Sherdog before the Showtime broadcast.

** Jorge Patino is a late replacement for Nate Moore, who has dropped out of the event due to injury. Please make your Fightpicker changes as necessary.

Anyway…

(By the way, it’s perfectly natural to have thighs like that. Diet and exercise, people.)

After announcing that he would fight anybody at any time in Strikeforce, then turning down a fight against Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante, then threatening the lives of all the keyboard warriors who pointed out the contradiction, Kevin Randleman has changed his mind and accepted a place on Strikeforce’s June 6th "Lawler vs. Shields" card after all. MMA Fanhouse reports that Randleman will be taking on UFC/IFL/Affliction veteran Mike Whitehead, whose sole loss in his last 15 fights came in a decision against Renato Sobral at Affliction: Banned. Whitehead holds notable victories over Ben Rothwell, Travis Fulton, Mark Kerr, and Krzystof Soszynski, and most recently submitted Leo Pla at an M-1 Challenge event last October. With the addition of the Randleman/Whitehead light-heavyweight bout, the lineup for "Lawler vs. Shields" currently looks like this:

(Props: D Wizzle’s World)

Above is a video of former UFC champ Kevin Randleman announcing his comeback at a press conference for "Shamrock vs. Diaz" earlier this month, in which he said, and I quote:

Granted, Randleman made it clear later that he’d really like to fight Tito Ortiz, but we weren’t expecting him to turn down the first fight offered to him after his "bring ‘em on" press-conference speech — especially when his employer could use the help. From a new MMA Fanhouse report:

(Lashley vs. Sapp: Battle of the Flared Nostrils)

— In a new contribution for MMA Fanhouse, Ariel Helwani reports that former WWE-star Bobby Lashley will take on infamous fighter/actor/pitchman Bob Sapp at a June 27th pay-per-view event in Biloxi, Mississippi, organized by Prize Fight Promotions. Lashley increased his MMA record to 2-0 last month with an underwhelming decision victory over Jason Guida at "March Badness," while Sapp’s last two fights were a win over a cartoon character and a dreadful loss to Jan Nortje. No other names have been announced for this monumental fight card yet.

— Renato "Babalu" Sobral has pulled out of his June 6th Strikeforce light-heavyweight title defense against Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante, because the due date of his next child falls too close to the event. According to Sobral’s manager Richard Wilner, Sobral originally accepted a Strikeforce fight for May, but the May date was instead taken by the first Sho MMA: Strikeforce Challengers show, and Sobral was told that his fight would be moved to June. "We basically said okay, but about three days after that, the doctors confirmed that Babalu’s baby was meant to be born on May 24," Wilner said. Sobral expects to return in August. As for Feijao, he will likely still compete on the June 6th "Lawler vs. Shields" card against a yet-unnamed opponent, and hopes to get a shot at Babalu’s belt when the champ returns.

("Josh, bro, you ever look at your hands? I mean really *look* at them? It’s like, why do we have five fingers anyway? Who decided that? It would be cool if I had six, but I’d probably be able to get by with just four. Or like, why is there a thumb on only *one* side of your hand. I feel like I’d be able to get more done with two thumbs on each hand. Do you ever watch ‘Fringe’? Great fuckin’ show." Photo courtesy of MixedMartialArts.com.)

With less than two weeks to go before Strikeforce returns to action on Showtime, the second-biggest fight on the "Shamrock vs. Diaz" card (April 11th, San Jose) has been scratched from the lineup. Strikeforce announced last night that lightweight champion Josh Thomson broke his left leg above the ankle while sparring with Billy Evangelista yesterday, and will not be having his rematch with Gilbert Melendez next Saturday. Said Thomson:

Strikeforce is searching for a late replacement for Melendez so that the former champ can still compete on the card. Tough break (literally) for Thomson, but on the bright side, we didn’t want to see him fight Melendez again anyway. Their first meeting last June saw Thomson  dominate Melendez with his striking for all 25 minutes of the match; El Nino was never really in the game. And Melendez hasn’t fought anybody since then, so it’s not like he’s legitimately earned another crack at the champ. We’ll keep you posted on the random-ass opponent they scare up for him. The full lineup for "Shamrock vs. Diaz" can be seen here.

In other news…