(“Stick with me, kid, I’ll make you an action star on the Hallmark Channel.”)

Well it looks like one glowing reference Urijah Faber will have on his resume when he starts applying for acting gigs will be from Rosie O’Donnell, which could go a long way if they’re looking to cast a teenage Bam Bam for Flintstones III.

The former WEC champ appeared on Rosie’s show on the Oprah Winfrey Network recently and the actress gushed over him, telling Faber that he has a bright future in movies.

“I wouldn’t want you to [be fighting when you're in your 40s] either, honey, because you’re too charismatic and you’re too kind of… I think you’re going to have a career like ‘The Rock.’ I think you transfer over to showbiz and you could have a full career in movies with karate where you’re the superhero-like kind of guy.”

If you’re only going to do one thing, make sure you do it well. (Photo: Getty Images/UFC.com)

It would be an understatement to call the UFC’s return to Japan triumphant. We could point to the bevy of exciting finishes as proof enough, but last night’s action seemed to go beyond that. More important to the evening’s success was the way the competitors fought. Surrounded by fans that appreciate the “bushido spirit” above all else, the fighters let it all hang out and battled their way through adversity. The Japanese prefer an entertaining performance over a cautious victory, and from the opening bout to the final bell of the evening, they got their money’s worth.

The final four combatants weren’t able to match the undercard’s highlight-reel stoppages, but the fighters knew the stakes and, to the best of their abilities, showed up to wow the fans.

“Where I come from, fighters who question my motivation get smacked.” (Video: YouTube/FuelTV)

The good news is that all of tonight’s fighters will throw down as expected, but that doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing for everyone stepping on the scales last night.

Under the guise of laughter, Rampage had refused to disclose his weight in Dana’s second video blog, but as we’ve learned time and time again it’s all fun and games until someone misses weight. Jackson tipped the scales at 211lbs, missing the Light Heavyweight cap by five pounds. In a post-weigh-in interview with Ariel Helwani, Rampage cited an unspecified injury in training camp as the reason he failed to make weight. Despite a doctor’s recommendation to withdraw from the bout, he pushed through camp and managed to cut 21-pounds but was unable to shed the last five.

Though he had no harsh words for his opponent, Ryan Bader, Rampage did take the time to lash out at Rich Franklin. The former Middleweight Champ commentated the proceedings for Fuel TV and questioned Jackson’s professionalism as well as whether or not he’d taken his training camp seriously. Understandably, Rampage, who has proven increasingly impatient with his critics, took umbrage to those assertions. In addition to losing the esteem of some of his colleagues, Jackson will forfeit 20% of his purse to his opponent.

After the jump, Bader’s reaction to Rampage’s weigh-in snafu, up-close videos of the Rampage-Bader and Edgar-Henderson face-offs, and full results from the scales.

(“Where’s your other fist and why do they call you ‘Master’ anyway?”)

Just a friendly reminder that the UFC is on Japanese time this weekend, so everything will be happening a bit later than usual.

Today’s weigh-ins are going down at 11:00 pm ET and we’ll have the live stream for you below.

Will the fighters play up to the Japanese crowd? Will young local girls cover their mouths and laugh when fighters disrobe? Will Akiyama cause mass hysteria and women to pass out? Will Dana be booed by the PRIDE faithful?

All of these questions and more will be answered after the jump.

(“TRX is a workout thingy? I thought it was a rap group.”)

In spite of the fact that it was mostly made up of clips from this week’s pre-fight presser, Dana’s second UFC 144 vlog was pretty entertaining.

Check out the highlights and the video after the jump if your boss blocked YouTube at work. What is this, 1984?

(Even the ladyboys in Thailand were no match for Quinton’s rapidfire pelvis)

They say with all sexual addictions, the addict eventually begins to lose interest in their current fetish and moves on to stranger, more dangerous behavior.

For Quinton Jackson, his humping addiction could prove his undoing if he continues to escalate the adrenaline factor at the rate he’s going.

Rampage Dry Humps Cagepotato Reporter – Watch MoreFunny Videos

(Video courtesy of YouTube/AudreAuditore)

If you’ve seen the latest TV spot for the soon-to-be-released Assassin’s Creed: Revelations game, you may have done a double take when you saw a character that looked an awful lot like BJ Penn.

Don’t worry, you aren’t going nuts. Penn appeared in the commercial sandwiched between Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose and the game’s protagonist, Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

(Rampage cutting the the last few ounces with Cheick Kongo.)

Just a friendly reminder that we will be showing the weigh-ins at 6:00 pm ET tonight for tomorrow night’s UFC 135 event at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado.

Will Rampage give us more GIF fodder?

Will Jon Jones continue to lose fans for being cocky?

Will Josh Koscheck be the first opponent of Matt Hughes’ that the fans root against?

Will “Big” Ben Rothwell’s nickname be changed to “Medium” Ben Rothwell?

Will Nick Diaz show up to support his brother?

These questions and more will be answered after the jump.

If you’ve ever done a Google search, you know that the autofill results can be ridiculous at times. The truth is, Google has an autocomplete algorithm it uses to determine what you might be searching for that is based on popular search terms and combinations of words.

While looking up Michael Bisping’s record today for a piece I was working on, “Bisping’s Island” autofilled in my search window. As I deleted the “D-N-A-L” I got back a litany of homoerotic insults and slurs attached to the resulting “Michael Bisping is” that remained in the queue. So since it was a slow news day, I decided what better way to waste the rest of it than to search and screen capture the results for your viewing enjoyment.

If you’re a fighter or a promoter with thin skin, we suggest that you refrain from searching for yourself. You’ve been warned.

Check out the results after the jump.

111111111 00_00_07-00_09_50_1 by Zuffaforce

Quinton Jackson made another appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson last night and after watching the episode, it’s clear why “Rampage” gets more invites to appear on late night talk shows than pretty much any other fighter: he’s actually entertaining.

Sure, Chuck Liddell’s guest spot on Good Morning Texas a few years back had its moments and watching Kirstie Alley imagining Jon Jones as a pork chop during The Tonight Show a few months back was funny, if not somewhat cringeworthy, but Jackson always seems to bring his ‘A’ game when the cameras are rolling.

(You’re joking, right?He used a fake penis for his urine test? Doesn’t that make him gay?)

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson was on MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour yesterday and he expressed his distaste with being paired up with a replacement Matt Hamill at UFC 130 when  his original opponent Thiago Silva was forced off the card after being suspended for falsifying a urine test to hide steroid use.

(Life: It’s more about the journey than whether you actually beat Travis Pastrana in arm wrestling. Pic: Zimbio)

Ah, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. At this point, we honestly don’t know if we should applaud the guy for his honesty or criticize him for continuing to waste everybody’s time. After conducting a lengthy interview with the former UFC light heavyweight champion recently wherein it becomes painfully apparent that the guy just can’t bring himself to be terribly dedicated to fighting anymore, maybe Five Knuckles says it best. As the MMA website quips in the very first line of its resulting story about Jackson: “You can call Quinton “Rampage” Jackson a lot of things, but dedicated isn’t necessarily one of them.”

Dude, ouch. Then again, that seems like a pretty apt description anymore. Heading into his upcoming bout with Matt Hamill at UFC 130, Rampage claims he’s training hard, but says he hasn’t bothered to chase down any film on Hamill and even admits he “doesn’t know a whole lot” about the guy. Really? You don’t know a whole lot about Matt Hamill? Interesting. Anyway, a bit later on Jackson flat out admits he’s just biding his time until he can find another movie role that will compensate him as much or more than his current UFC contract.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/gregorybayne)

- An open letter to ‘Sons of Anarchy’ creator Kurt Sutter (ScreenJunkies)

- Rampage vs. Matt Hamill in the works for UFC 130 (Heavy)

- Belfort says Anderson got Lucky Saturday night (LowKick)

- Report suggests Anderson Silva used Steven Seagal for publicity (MMA Convert)

-Sonnen says fight would have been stopped if Anderson punished him like he did “The Spider” (PaulLazenby)

-Holy Taco’s guide to improving your online dating profile (HolyTaco)

- Vitor Belfort welcomes rematch against Wanderlei Silva (Tatame)

- Golfball launcher (TheRugged)

- SFHWGP R1 weigh-in results (FightersOnly)

- Brooklyn Decker promotes SI swimsuit edition (TuVez)

- “Fear and Loathing” by Michael The Voice Schiavello (TheGarv)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/wallenrichard)

Tatame is reporting that Jon Jones was not the UFC’s first choice as Mauricio "Shogun" Rua’s replacement opponent for UFC 128. According to the UFC light heavyweight champion, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was offered the title shot in place Rashad Evans, who injured his knee training last week in Albuquerque, but the A-Team star declined the fight for undisclosed reasons.

“The UFC had another opponent in mind, but it didn’t work out. For some reason [Qinton Jackson] didn’t accept the title shot," Shogun explained. “I’ll have to change my training because [Jon Jones] is a lot different than Rashad. He’s much taller, which will present a great challenge. He’s been surprising everybody in the UFC — defeating everybody with ease, and it’ll be a tough fight for me."

"Smell it!"

Maybe Rampage is still waking up in cold sweats from the recurring nightmare of getting his head soccer-kicked into the fifth row by Shogun.

("Here Brandon, I’ll play you out of the UFC with a drum solo.")

When Thiago Silva decided to showboat a little by playing the bongos on Brandon Vera’s back during their UFC 125 bout, UFC light heavyweight contender Jon Jones took to Twitter to voice his disapproval.

"Wow that slapping was so disrespectful.. id love to give him a slap in the face," Jones wrote.

During an interview with MMAFighting.com, "Bones" explained his reaction to Silva’s grandstanding.

"It kind of bugged me, only because we all fight, and just losing alone is humiliating enough. It’s embarrassing. … Think about all the people who watched those fights. All [the Brandon Vera] fans, all the members at his school, all the kids that look up to him. Man, it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way," he explained. "It’s not something I would ever want done to me and it’s not something I would ever do to someone else. … There’s ways of looking for an opening besides playing pattycake on a guy’s back."

In a recent Q&A with Tatame, Silva attempted to explain why he pulled the seemingly disrespectful stunt.

(Video courtesy YouTube/KennethGuye)

If you missed the above episode of Dr. Phil yesterday featuring Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, you might be surprised when you hear how thoughtful and well-spoken the former UFC light heavyweight champ came off.

The theme of the episode was "teens in trouble," and according to Jackson, he once fell under that category having carried a gun and run drugs for dealers in the neighborhood in Memphis, Tenn. from the time he was eight years old. Jackson told the kids on the show that needed to heed the advice given to him by an uncle when he was 17. The elder Jackson apparently told him that if he continued down the path he was on, he would end up in jail with convicts who, "hadn’t been with a woman in a long time."

The fear of being someone’s prison bitch was apparently all Rampage needed to be put on the straight and narrow, at least until he became addicted to energy drinks and the movie The Secret.

Will "Rampage" finally pull out the "stank piss breff" joke he’s been dying to use on Machida?

Will Lyoto praise Steven Seagal for bringing back the old "Dragon?"

Has BJ Penn given up conventional training and gone back to carrying rocks under water and diving off of cliffs?

Will Matt Hughes ever be humble?

These questions and more will be answered within the hour as the UFC 123 pre-fight presser from Auburn Hills, Michigan hits the web via the UFC streaming web player after the jump.

(There’s an ad for a sports drink if I ever saw one.)

Lyoto Machida isn’t taking anything for granted in preparing for his upcoming bout with Quinton Jackson at UFC 123 November 20.

The former UFC light heavyweight champ says he’s preparing for every scenario that "Rampage" may present him with during the fight — even the unlikelihood that Jackson may demonstrate some newly developed kickboxing skills.

"Well, I always think for a MMA fight, despite the specialties of each fighter, you have to be prepared for anything, because we can never know what the guy is up to. A guy who doesn’t know how to kick may be kicking on the following fight, you can’t tell for sure. The need leads the frog to a jump. We have many examples of people who are good on areas that aren’t theirs specialties: Georges St. Pierre has improved a lot his Wrestling, people that didn’t kick are now kicking and so it goes… I don’t underestimate any fighter," Machida told Tatame.com. "I think that, just as I’m prepared for anything during the fight, so are they: the stand-up game, the takedowns and the ground game. Of course we have our game plan set, our strong point is Karate and the exchanges, but if we need to use the other skills, we will do the takedowns and the ground game that I train here with Valter Broca, who’s a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, graduated by De La Riva, who always help me on this area."

As far as Jackson’s gameplan, Machida doesn’t think Quinton will shy away from standing with him, despite his tough to defend against unorthodox karate striking prowess.

(Video courtesy of NBC)

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night to promote the A-Team and came off very well.

Though it’s obvious Leno researched all of his questions by doing a quick Google search (i.e. Rampage’s kids are all named ‘Rampage’), Quinton’s timing was impeccable, as always. I’ve actually been hearing from a lot of people that he did a decent job in the movie.

("I pity the fool who makes fun of my scarf and inability to ignore the camera.")

It didn’t take Quinton Rampage Jackson long after his unanimous decision loss to Rashad Evans at UFC 114 to pull a Tito Ortiz. Just two and a half weeks after the bout and Rampage has already formulated his own "cracked skull" defense.

(‘Why you gotta act so black Rampage? You should dress and talk like I do — like a white middle class teenage boy.‘)

Just a reminder that we will be streaming the weigh-ins for UFC 114: Rampage vs. Evans live at 7pm ET. 

There’s a rumor swirling around that Rashad is having trouble cutting the last few pounds and had to pass on a planned interview with the Jim Rome show.

Video player is after the jump.

(Video courtesy YouTube/Fighters Only)

Quinton Jackson recently spoke to Fighters Only’s John O’Regan, and as usual, Rampage had a lot of interesting, although grammatically questionable things to say about everything from possible future opponents and his phony fans to his icy relationship with the UFC.

(Strikeforce: Heavy Artillery preview courtesy YouTube/The Fight Network; Randy’s goatee-chinstrap combo courtesy douchebags worldwide)

- Ken Shamrock vs. Rizzo NOT Mark Coleman on July 17 Impact Fighting Card in Australia (MMAFighting)

- Rampage calls fight with Shogun a "very interesting" prospect (FightersOnly)

- Obama an MMA fan? President chats about UFC 113 with martial arts instructor while visiting NY (BuffaloNews)

- Cyborg to defend her Strikeforce title June 26 on Fedor vs. Werdum card (MMAJunkie)

- Four fighters including Jacare miss weight for Saturday’s Strikeforce event (Sherdog)

- Mayorga says if Thomas beats him at next weekend’s Shine Fights event, he will retire from MMA (YouTube/FightHub)

- Goulet and Hague both dropped by UFC following UFC 113 losses (TopMMANews)

- Joey Karate breaks down UFC 113 (YouTube/10thPlanet)

- Dan Quinn’s Twitter page (Twitter)

- Overeem shatters sledgehammer while filming Strikeforce promo (CageWriter)

- Werdum offers Rogers advice to beat Overeem (GracieMag)

- Teacher "UFCs" a student (EbaumsWorld)

- 10 Hottest British Babes (MadeMen)

- Investors looking to make Rambo V sans Stallone (ScreenJunkies)

- The 9 Sexiest Secretaries (Chickipedia)

-  Monica Keena photos (HolyTaco)

- Victory Lane Girls (AllLeftTurns)

- Jedi A-holes (Ebaumsworld)

(Not only do yo’ breff stank, I bet you don’t even know what a best boy does, fool.)

In a recent interview with Bisping.tv, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson says that taking the role of B.A. Baracus in the film remake of the A-Team had nothing to do with avoiding a planned post-TUF 7 showdown with Rashad Evans, like many suggested and that he hasn’t gone "Hollywood." 

“I still want to clear [something] up…some of my fans don’t understand why I didn’t fight Rashad in the beginning. I don’t think…the fans that don’t understand now, I don’t think they’ll ever understand. Just because I’m a fighter, doesn’t mean I can’t do other things. I just want my fans to know…no matter what, even though I haven’t been in the cage for a while…people think that I went Hollywood, people always got negative stuff to say. People always underestimate me. I’ve been in this game for a while; I just think it’s funny. I’m just gonna go out there and do my job. I wanna knock Rashad out as quick as possible and get on with my career." 

UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida and #1 contender Quinton Jackson are letting some cats out of some bags this morning. First we have the above image taken from the homepage of Machida’s official site, which announces that Machida and Jackson will be fighting each other in September — we’re guessing at UFC 103, since that show is currently without a main event, though the Couture/Nogueira card is also earlier that month.

But here’s the weird part: TUF 10 is slated to premiere in September — and weren’t Machida and Rampage supposed to be coaching against each other? Well, Rampage will definitely be a coach on the show (visual proof after the jump), but new reports indicate that the Dragon will be sitting this season out.

(UFC 98 post-event press conference footage, courtesy of CageWriter.)

Confirming what many of us had already assumed, Dana White announced at Saturday night’s press conference that new UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida will make his first title defense against former champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Though the match isn’t tied to a specific event yet, White also announced (perhaps not coincidentally) that the UFC would be holding a show at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on October 24th.

So, quick MMA rumor math: Machida will be fighting Rampage later this year + Rampage will be one of the coaches on TUF 10 = We might be seeing the Dragon lead a team of heavyweights on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter.

After a furious ten-day session in which 453 captions were submitted, it’s time to bring this thing home. Below are the 11 best entries in our Never Surrender caption contest. Read them all below, then vote for your favorite in the poll on the right. The five captions with the most votes win their authors a DVD copy of Never Surrender, and the five runners-up win CagePotato "Hall of Fame" t-shirts. The last-place caption earns the bitter frustration of coming so close to success but falling just short. Voting ends tomorrow at 4 p.m. ET, and the winners will be announced shortly after. Thanks to everyone who entered, and good luck!

Steve: Hey guys, after the movie, let’s go to my bedroom, take our shoes off, lie down on my bed, take about 20 to 30 minutes, and…

Rodney: This was taken just before BJ returned to his trailer and failed to come back out for the second half of the movie.

Til: Ok you can have him this weekend, but remember — lots of food and no Red Bull.

(Dana White tries to convince Quinton Jackson to fight Rashad Evans at UFC 98, following Rampage’s decision win over Keith Jardine last Saturday. Video courtesy of WatchKalibRun via TheGarv.)

SportsIllustrated has confirmed that former UFC light-heavyweight champion Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has turned down the opportunity to challenge Rashad Evans for the 205-pound title at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), due to the short turnaround and his lingering injuries. Taking his place will be Lyoto Machida, the undefeated — and virtually untouchable — Brazilian contender who most recently knocked out Thiago Silva at UFC 94 in January. Evans vs. Machida is the official main-event replacement for Mir vs. Lesnar, which was scrapped from the card thanks to Mir’s bum knee.

"Sugar" and "The Dragon" are very similar on paper. Both are undefeated in 14 professional fights — Evans is 13-0-1, while Machida is 14-0. Both have gone the distance in the majority of their UFC appearances, but are coming off of dramatic stoppage victories. And they have three opponents in common: Tito Ortiz (who Machida beat by unanimous decision last May and Evans drew with in 2007), Stephan Bonnar (who Machida won a cut-stoppage TKO over in 2003 and Evans beat via majority decision in 2006) and Sam Hoger (who Machida defeated by unanimous decision in 2007 and Evans took a split decision over in 2006).

Evans/Machida may not turn out to be Fight of the Year — we’re expecting more of a cautious and technical match than a thrilling one — but it’s also not the easiest fight to predict, which makes it compelling. Will Evans and the Team Jackson camp be able to come up with a gameplan that solves the confounding riddle of Lyoto Machida? Will Machida still look invincible against a true top-of-the-food chain light-heavyweight? 

(He’s gettin’ that belt back — eventually.)

Even though he wasn’t one of the six fighters who received medical suspensions after UFC 96, Quinton Jackson reportedly injured his hand during his decision win against Keith Jardine, making a May title fight against light-heavyweight champion Rashad Evans even less likely. Adds Sportsnet.ca:

Rampage’s hand injury adds to a lingering jaw injury that he sustained while training for his UFC 92 fight against Wanderlei Silva. It’s hard to imagine he’d be anywhere close to 100% by May 23rd. But that doesn’t seem to bother Rashad Evans, who is already mentally preparing for the UFC’s other top light-heavyweight contender, Lyoto Machida. As Sugar told Sherdog:

(‘Page vs. Keef. Props to MMALinker.)

After a wild, occasionally bizarre night of action which once again proved that weak-on-paper cards often turn out to be the most entertaining ones, the UFC released $60,000 end-of-night bonuses to UFC 96‘s standout fighters. Taking home the extra cash are…

Fight of the Night: Quinton Jackson and Keith Jardine, who put on a surprisingly competitive three-rounder in the main event; in fact, the fight was one of the few matches on the card that wasn’t a one-sided squash.

Knockout of the Night: Matt Hamill, obviously, for his Cro Coppian head-kick obliteration of Mark Munoz. 

Submission of the Night: No bonus was given out, even though Tamdan McCrory did technically make Ryan Madigan tap due to strikes. We’ll let you know if he decides to file a complaint with the athletic commission.

UFC 96 drew a very-impressive 17,033 spectators to Nationwide Arena, for a gate of $1.8 million. 

After the jump: The Hammer’s nasty KO, Carwin’s ownage of Napao, the Brown/Sell fiasco, and Kendall Grove’s job-saving beatdown of Jason Day.