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Tag: Randy Couture

Thiago Silva Joins the MMA Bitch-Slap Hall of Fame; Jon Jones Dumps Haterade [UPDATED]

Brandon Vera Thiago Silva UFC 125 slap spank MMA photos
("Look, Brandon, I’m sorry. If you take your hand away, I promise I won’t slap you in the face again." / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)

UPDATE: A clip of Silva playing Vera like a bongo has been added to the end of this post…check it out while it lasts.

The third round of Thiago Silva vs. Brandon Vera at UFC 125 represented one of the most humiliating beat-downs in recent MMA history, as Silva seemingly got tired of punching Vera about midway through the round and just started slapping him in the face until the fight was over. With Vera’s job likely on the line that night, it was the worst possible final impression to leave with his bosses — as if that mangled schnozz wasn’t enough.

After the fight, top light-heavyweight contender Jon Jones fired up Twitter and posted the following: "Wow that slapping was so disrespectful.. id love to give him a slap in the face…Dominating someone in a fight is 1 thing, looking to simply humiliate them is another..Traditional martial artist always seemed to show honor and respect.. Anyways what’s done is done, I’m headed to the gym to make sure nothing like that ever happens to me."

We say: Eff the haters, Thiago. You’ve just joined a very select group of MMA fighters who have demonstrated their dominance through slapping and spanking. The other members of the MMA Bitch-Slap Hall of Fame are after the jump…

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Video: UFC Ultimate Insider – Best of Unguarded 2010


UFC Ultimate Insider: Best of Unguarded – Watch more Funny Videos

If you want to see the best segment of the UFC’s Ultimate Insider series, you fast forward to the "Unguarded" portion of the show which features fighter interviews conducted by the UFC’s best kept secret, a behind-the scenes interviewer named Elizabeth who’s putting Ariel Helwani on notice.

Fortunately for those of you who don’t want to have to go through each episode they missed, the fine folks at the UFC took the time  to splice together the highlights from the season in the 13-minute video above that includes Randy Couture retelling the story of his first ass-kicking,  Josh Koscheck recalling how he "became" a dick, Carlos Condit talking about why he became a fighter and Dan Hardy explaining that he doesn’t like getting punched in the face.


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CagePotato.com Presents: The 2010 Potato Awards

If 2010 was a cold beer, we’d be down to the backwash. December puts all of us MMA-pundit types in a reflective mood, and this year gave us a double-crapload of big stories, insane fights, rising stars, and utter embarrassments to wrap our heads around. And so, we’d like to pay tribute to 2010 in the best way we know how — sarcasm and insults, mostly. Without further ado, here are 15 things we felt were worthy of some end-of-year recognition, Potato-style…


The Giant Silva Freak Show Award, presented each year to the match that’s made strictly for gruesome entertainment value; fighters should ideally exhibit a tremendous difference in either size or experience level.
Winner: Randy Couture vs. James Toney at UFC 118, in which a tubby boxing champ trash-talked his way into a co-headling bout against an MMA legend, and got choked out before he was able to land a single punch. This marks the first time in eleven years that the Giant Silva Award hasn’t been granted to a fight held in Japan.
Also receiving votes this year: Herschel Walker vs. Greg Nagy


The Wanderlei Silva Unintentionally Homoerotic Smack Talk Award, known as “The Wandy is presented each year to the fighter who, when trying to hype a fight, inadvertently makes reference to having gay sex with his (or her) opponent.
Winner: Josh Koscheck, for the utterly disturbing wild-eyed, tongue-waving description above of what he was planning to do to UFC welterweight champ Georges St-Pierre during this season of The Ultimate Fighter.
Also receiving votes this year: Matt Horwich, for his cringeworthy rant about how he was going to Mike Tyson 10th Planet protagonist Renato Laranja.


The Natasha Wicks Memorial Best Female Newcomer Award, presented each year to the up-and-coming MMA ring girl — preferably blonde, as per the bylaws — who gets us to forget about Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer, if only for a moment.
Winner: Rhian Sugden, the stunning (and frequently-nude) star of the U.K.’s BAMMA promotion.
Also receiving votes this year: Kelli HutchersonStephanie Ann CookBrittany WardMelissa Jo

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Randy Couture Isn’t as Retired as Randy Couture Thinks He is, Lawyer Dude Says


(Couture definitely should’ve checked with his attorney before putting those trunks through the wash. That shit was dry clean only. PicProps: Heavy)

So, it turns out the obvious retirement message Randy Couture posted to his Twitter account yesterday was definitely, absolutely, totally not a retirement message. This according to Couture’s lawyer/handler Sam Spira, who had to do some damage control last night after Couture appeared to electronically call it a career, obviously without checking with Spira, his contracted employers and/or even considering the potential merchandising opportunities inherent such a major declaration.

"There’s been no official announcement," Spira insisted to multiple sources. "There’s been no decision. Any announcements or decisions would be likely coordinated with the UFC."

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Check Out This Tweet from Randy Couture, You Guys

Do you realize what this means?  Randy Couture uses emoticons.

It’s been anticipated and speculated upon for some time, but it looks like "The Natural" has officially called it a career via Twitter.  He actually seems kinda surprised that we expected him to fight again.

If he doesn’t get tempted to try it again maybe just one more time, Couture will ride off into the sunset with a 19-10 record and a Hall of Fame legacy.  He will presumably continue running gyms, training fighters, and making movies  "when something interesting comes up".  (Ed. note:  He’s come a long way since "Fighter #8".)

Years from now, you will probably slap a kid who says "Who is Randy Couture?" in a snotty tone you won’t care for, which will of course make Thanksgiving 2031 awkward for everyone involved, especially when your daughter shows up, drunk, and with that loser again.  She could clearly do better, but at that point she’s only keeping him around to annoy you, and predictably, it works.  I tell you, those kids in the future, they won’t have any respect. 

Feel free to share your warmest memories of Captain America in the comments, or, if you’re really brave, you can venture over to the forums

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Videos: Randy Couture, Phil Baroni, Gray Maynard Ham It Up for the ‘World MMA Awards’


(Props: WorldMMAawards)

Remember when we told you that the Fighters Only World MMA Awards were last Wednesday on Versus? Well, what we meant was that the live online broadcast was happening on Versus.com, and the actual Versus television broadcast is this Thursday at 10 p.m. ET. (I know, we’ve done a great job of promoting it so far.) Even if you have no intention of tuning in, you may want to check out these sort-of-funny promo skits starring MMA fighters, which has become an annual tradition for the show. In the above clip, Randy Couture visits the Pawn Stars gang to get rid of some used property. Yeah, it’s kind of awkward when he sells Natasha Wicks into white slavery at the end, but come on, "eight year abs" is a good one. Ah, what do you know from funny, ya bastards.

After the jump: Find out what happens when a guy known for a hilariously thick New York accent tries to play a Texan. Plus: Amber Nichole Miller‘s heaving chest saves a "Shake Weight" parody from total failure, and Wanderlei Silva gets in touch with his warm-hearted bow-tied side.

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With Two Movies on Deck, Couture Probably Booked Through Spring 2011


("See Brett, if you just marry them first, they can’t be compelled to testify against you." PicProps: XtremeCouture)

With each new piece of news that emerges, it’s starting to feel more and more unlikely that we’ll ever see Randy Couture in the Octagon again. After a 12-month period that saw him go 3-0 in the UFC – with wins over Brandon Vera, Mark Coleman and James Toney  — and score significant screen time alongside Mickey Rourke’s man boobs, Steve Austin’s emotive grunting and Sly Stallone’s extremely troubling facial hair in “The Expendables,” Couture’s been playing it pretty coy these days about his status as an active fighter. Even though he won’t be making an official retirement announcement, he says he’ll only strap on the 4-ouncers for future fights that are “interesting” (read: winnable) enough. Now the 47-year-old’s non-fighting schedule could keep him busy until the Spring of next year.

Couture appeared on local Las Vegas radio recently – no family commitments to keep him occupied during the holidays, you understand – to reveal he’s landed a role alongside fellow baldster Bruce Willis in a movie that will film in early December and that he hopes everybody else can clear their calendars in time to crap out an “Expendables” sequel in March. With all that going on, Couture will have a very limited window in which to squeeze in any actual MMA before he turns 48 next June. Still, he maintains that if the UFC brings him something juicy, he’ll give it a sniff.

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Tuesday Afternoon Rumor Funhouse: True Romance Edition

romance beach kiss

Oh man, you thought last week’s Rumor Funhouse was grossly irresponsible? You guys have no idea what’s in store for you. Today’s installment features five warm ‘n fuzzy tales, all about the romantic bond. Four of them have been completely made up, either by us or by other people. One of them is actually legit. Can you separate the bullshit from the chicken salad? (That’s what they say down South, right?) Read on if you dare. Actually, don’t. Just move along. You’ll be a lot better off for it…

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Now That the UFC Has Their Mexican Heavyweight Champ, What Else Do They Need?

Cain Velasquez Mexico Mexican flag UFC
(You like it? I’m having this airbrushed onto the hood of my Impala.)

As you’re all aware by now, Cain Velasquez became The First Mexican Heavyweight Champion in Fighting History™ on Saturday when he destroyed Brock Lesnar at UFC 121. The crowning of Velasquez should hopefully usher in a new wave of interest in the UFC from the Latino community — but the promotion still has a long way to go until it appeals to all demographics. If the UFC wants to achieve true mass appeal, they should work as hard as possible to check these categories off their list as well…

An African-American Lightweight Champion
Over the years, the UFC has awarded title belts to Maurice Smith and Kevin Randleman in the heavyweight division, and Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans at 205. And even though former welterweight champ Carlos Newton and middleweight king Anderson Silva aren’t American, they would certainly be described by my mother as "people of soul." But the history of the UFC’s lightweight division has been that of white dudes (see: Pulver, Sherk, Edgar) and a fiery Hawaiian warrior (come on, son.) What the division needs is an athletic and explosive champion at 155, who can serve as a role model for kids who are too short to make the basketball team. Do I have to spell it out for you? Okay, fine: A-N-T-O-N-I-O M-c-K-E-E, P-L-A-Y-E-R.

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Randy Couture: ‘It’s Probably Time to Move on From Fighting’


(As long as Stallone keeps making "The Expendables" sequels like he did with Rocky and Rambo, Randy will  have years of work ahead of him.)

Well, it looks like Randy Couture really is planning to walk away from fighting *for good* in favor of a movie career. 

The UFC Hall-of-Famer and the promotion’s former heavyweight and light heavyweight champ spoke with John O’Regan from Fighters Only over the weekend while in London to corner Mike Pyle for his UFC 121 fight with John Hathaway and he said that it’s likely that his days of fighting are behind him.

“I don’t know what is gonna happen on the fight front. I have had my wars, done my thing. I’ve been having fun, I can still fight, but I am not sure I want to make another run at the title or anything like that," Couture explained. “I enjoy the sport, I enjoy fighting, but its probably time to move on."

I’m not sure if retiring coming off of a win to James Toney is the way I’d want to go out, but I’m not a professional fighter with a storied MMA career like Randy, so what do I know?

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