Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Tag: rap

‘Settle Your Grudge’ Blows…

…and now we have video proof. Our favorite parts?

1) “You ripped it up lookin’ for guns, well, I got ‘em. And I’m gonna beat you with ‘em.”
2) The theme song (0:45-1:13), which makes “Jesus Didn’t Tap” sound like The Low End Theory. “The grudge is some guy, who just wouldn’t quit / A heated argument, over some buullll / such.”
3) Officer Carter’s compulsive finger-counting.
4) “They have a gruuzh, they wanna settle.”

In related news, it was announced last week that Tito Ortiz’s grudge-settling show, Anytown Beatdown, will be produced for the G4 cable network.

Previously: The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)


Quick Toughness Test…


Click this link and listen to the song. If you can make it through the whole thing, you have ice-water in your balls.


Aleksander Emelianenko Could Fight Barnett, Records Gangsta Shit

(Business in front, death in back.)

I’m not very good with the Cyrillic alphabet, so I can’t confirm this myself. But various people are reporting that a post made yesterday on Aleksander Emelianenko’s page says Aleks will be fighting at an M-1 Global event in April. As one translation puts it:

Next bout of Aleksander Emelianenko will be held on April 11 in Chicago.

Currently we are negotiating for Aleksander’s opponent. Most likely it will be Josh Barnett.

Aleks won three bouts in 2007 by first-round stoppage, while Barnett hasn’t competed in an MMA event since his decision loss to Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira on New Year’s Eve 2006; since then, the Babyface Assassin’s name has consistently popped up as the guy with the best chance of beating Fedor Emelianenko. It doesn’t look like M-1 wants to threaten its golden calf so soon — a loss for Fedor basically negates their reason for being — but an Aleks/Barnett rematch would be the next best thing. The two fighters previously fought at PRIDE Total Elimination Absolute in May 2006, where Barnett handed Aleksander one of his three career losses, a second-round submission via keylock. Keep your fingers and toes crossed and we might get to see Aleks have his bloody revenge.

Also of interest on Aleksander’s Mixfight page is the other “23 ?????? 2008 ?” post, which appears to be a rap song recorded by the fighter. You can listen to it here. Dude kinda sounds like a Russian DMX. Anybody who can translate the lyrics gets 1000 CagePotato Gold Stars, which can be redeemed later for Camel Cash.


Bas Rutten Is the Next Jerry Seinfeld, Jay-Z


Following up their beloved “Dear Don” feature, has given Bas Rutten his own column called “Who’s the Bas?” (Clever!) In the first installment, Rutten tries his hand at Seinfeld-esque observational humor. Here’s what he has to say about airports:

For some reason, there are people – even after all these years – who still don’t know that you have to take all the metal out of your pockets, take your laptop out of the bag, take off your shoes, etc. How can they not know? Is this their first time on an airport in the last five years?

And hotels:

I never like the pillows in hotels. I don’t know what it is. I always bring my own pillow. That’s a travel tip I recommend for everyone. Having your own pillow with you is never a bad idea, trust me. You’d be surprised what a difference it makes.

And avoiding contact with other people’s filthy hands:

One of the reasons I stay in my room, though, is that I prefer to eat up there. It’s not that I don’t want to be around anyone (I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of jerk), but if I’m eating in a hotel people will want to come up to me and shake hands. I don’t mind, but that’s one of the easiest ways to pass germs from one person to another, and here I am eating. This, my friends, is why I recommend the fist bump. It’s the same kind of physical gesture, but it’s hygienic! People tell me sometimes that they think it’s strange. Maybe, but it’s no more strange than shaking hands. What, I’m going to hold another person’s hand in mine and move it up and down for a few seconds and that’s not strange? No, thanks. I’d rather do the fist bump. It may be strange, but at least I can go back to eating my meal without worrying about the germs I’ve just picked up from holding another person’s hand.

Did we say Seinfeld? We meant Rooney.

And speaking of Bas, click here for the funkiest jam you’ve ever heard. Who knew El Guapo had such a sick flow?