(Above: Rashad Evans licks his hand and wipes his butt…
Below: …and pays dearly for it. / Props: )

We bid a final farewell to Saturday’s UFC event with a roundup of the 11 best GIFs from UFC 145, courtesy of The UG and IronForgesIron. Enjoy, and click here for previous MMA GIF coverage.

(Was this photo taken with a fish eye lens? Get it?! A FISH EYE LENS!! *crickets*) 

Yowza. As if we needed further proof, Rashad Evans sent out this tweet earlier today, confirming once and for all that Jon Jones does is fact have the nastiest elbows in the game. At least he took it in stride, stating the following:

I went 2 UFC 145 in Atlanta and I had the best seat in the house & all I came back with was this fat eye! Wth! I hope those of u that went came back with better souvenirs than I did! =)

Brandon Vera feels your pain, Suga. And then some.

Though Evans only received a week suspension, he might want to consider sitting out a little longer while he waits for that baby to deflate. ‘Shad was one of fourteen fighters from Saturday’s card to earn just a seven day suspension for cautionary reasons. Brendan Schaub and Che Mills received 45 day suspensions for their (T)KO losses, where Miguel Torres earned a 60 day suspension for his knockout loss to Michael McDonald. Torres must also undergo a CT scan before he is cleared to return to action.

But worse than Schaub, worse even than Torres, was the indefinite suspension Mac Danzig received for the gnarly ankle injury he suffered in his unanimous decision victory over Efrain Escudero as a result of a first round heel hook. Word has it that while this was occurring, Rousimar Palhares went on a bloodthirsty rampage through Brazil that resulted in the deaths of no less than 400 people.

Check out the photo of the damage, compliments of Danzig’s twitter, along with the full medical suspensions, after the jump. 

(Thigh sleeve > Muttonchops? I don’t understand this world anymore.) 

By Jack Saladino

After a six week hiatus that threatened to drive UFC fans worldwide into their nearest mental asylum, UFC 145 came back with a fury, providing us with all the sweet KO’s, slick submissions, and classic scraps that we have come to know and love. And now that the storm has passed, we must look to the future for those involved in what was a fantastic night of fights. As always, we’ll take a look at the must-make match-ups for Saturday’s biggest winners, and maybe even a couple of the losers, because they’re people too, we guess.

Let’s get right to it…

Travis Browne- If not for Chad Griggs’ incredible chin, “Hapa” could have just as easily walked away with a Knockout of the Night bonus for that beautiful double flying knee. That being said, Browne was awarded Submission of the Night for only his second career submission victory, and looked like a Jiu-Jitsu whiz while doing so. Browne has steamrolled through most of his opponents, and if the heavyweight division wasn’t so tongue tied at the moment, I would have a long list of potential opponents for the Hawaiian. But Browne has age on his side and would fight tomorrow if you asked him to, so I’m thinking he should step up and fill the vacancy “Bigfoot” Silva left against Roy Nelson. Browne has a month to keep fit and a win over a name like “Big Country” on relatively short notice would ensure his top tier status.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com.)

By Jason Moles

Reflecting on UFC 145, one can only agree that that was an incredible way to break the fast of Zuffa-branded MMA action. Now that it’s all over, let’s take a moment to sort through the night’s biggest winners, losers, and everything in between. Oops, wrong site. So what five things did we learn from the event? Nope, that’s not right either. Here’s UFC 145′s MMA Stock Market The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Yeah, that’s it.

The Good

• Travis Browne. In a shrinking weight division, the undefeated “Hapa” continues his streak of dominance. After submitting Chad Griggs with an arm triangle choke in the first round, top-ten heavyweights are forced to pay this man some notice — especially now that he’s finishing opponents on the mat, which seemed to surprise Browne as much as anybody. Look for the big man to get a big step up in his next outing.

• Young Fighters Performing Like Veterans. Rory MacDonald and Jon Jones are two of the youngest fighters in the UFC, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell that purely from watching them in action Saturday night. At 22 and 24 respectively, the young guns showed us that virtuosity beats experience. Georges St. Pierre has praised MacDonald for a while now, going as far as saying that he will be the next Georges St. Pierre — a mighty high compliment considering the source. In all of his 14 pro bouts, “Ares” has only gone to a decision once. Even his one loss to UFC interim welterweight champion Carlos Condit came in exciting fashion and earned him a Fight of the Night bonus. The countdown has already begun. Liftoff is imminent. Hope this kid isn’t scared of heights.

By Elias Cepeda

(Jon Jones successfully defended his UFC belt against Rashad Evans Saturday night)

For my money, Saturday night’s UFC 145 main event between Jon Jones and Rashad Evans was exactly what I’d want from a high-level grudge match. A quick stoppage could have led of talk of “luck,” or controversy and perhaps an immediate rematch.

Instead, the former training partners got to see each other from many different angles over the course of five long rounds. In so doing, each man passed tests they had yet to before, each got their licks in and we still had a clear winner.

In only his second career loss, Rashad Evans proved that he could get seriously hurt in a fight and keep going. The young champion Jones showed us much as well in going to a decision.

We know that Jones has the conditioning to go the distance. Perhaps more important than that, we now know that Jones, who recently steamrolled Lyoto Machida, Mauricio Rua and Quinton Jackson, won’t necessarily get frustrated when an opponent doesn’t quickly crumble under his onslaught.

Jones stayed patient, measured and effective throughout the fight with Evans, even when the challenger refused to quit after getting rocked. Jones also has a chin on him.

It would have been easy to miss because of how little he reacted to them, but Jones took some heavy single shots from Evans, right to the chin, temple and neck. And he didn’t even flinch.

(“…but my body! My BODY, is telling me yeeahh!” / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

At long last, we’re finally going to find out if watching Jon Jones and Rashad Evans fight is as entertaining as discussing it. The two light-heavyweight rivals — who sport similar haircuts, completely by coincidence — will settle their beef at the end of tonight’s UFC 145 main card, backed by a supporting lineup that includes Rory MacDonald vs. Che Mills, Brendan Schaub vs. Ben Rothwell, and Miguel Torres vs. Michael McDonald.

Live, round-by-round results from the UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans pay-per-view broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato flyweight liveblog champ Aaron Mandel. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Now take our hand, Constant Reader, and follow us into the abyss…

(Thank God they brought in Joe Silva to separate two former UFC champions if things got heated.) 

With the exception of John Makdessi, who weighed in at 158 pounds and was forced to hand over 20 percent of his purse to opponent Anthony Njokuani, all fighters made weight at this afternoon’s UFC 145 weigh-ins. Jon Jones tipped the scales at the light-heavyweight limit of 205, where Rashad Evans weighed-in just shy at 204. One of the more interesting moments from the event, as noted by our buddy Ariel Helwani, was the stare down between the newly re-signed Miguel Torres and Michael McDonald. Obviously a fan of how the 209 do business, Torres put on his finest mean mug for the pair’s stare down, only to be basically laughed at by “Mayday,” who clearly wasn’t intimidated.

Another thing of note: Despite weighing in just under the heavyweight limit, Ben Rothwell looked to be in way better shape than we’ve seen in the past. Will it help him come fight night? Probably not, but we can all dream.

Full results and the video are after the jump. 

(What? Is that ghost you’ve been staring at all these years on his lunch break?) 

By Ryan Sarr

The time for talk is up. For over a year now, we’ve watched as Jon Jones and Rashad Evans’ relationship has deteriorated from training partners willing to fake injury to avoid fighting one another, to bitter enemies just waiting for the chance to beat the other into a living death. Is all the personal heat real? Can these two bury the hatchet after the fight? We’ll find out soon enough, but either way, this has all the makings of a can’t miss war that will not soon be forgotten. All signs point to a decisive victory for “Bones” in ATL tomorrow night, but as we all know, anything can happen in a fight. So join me as I break down all the main card fights taking place at UFC 145 and give you my street-certified predictions.

Jon Jones (15-1, 9-1 UFC) vs. Rashad Evans (17-1-1, 12-1-1 UFC)

At only 24 years old, Jones has already been in more title fights(3) than the 32 year-old Evans(2). So clearly, Jones should not be intimidated, for he is battle-tested and has proven himself worthy of carrying that UFC Light Heavyweight belt. And not only has Jones taken out three former UFC champions in his last three fights, he has done so in devastating fashion. In his last fight, Jones dropped Lyoto Machida (a.k.a the man who made Rashad do the cross-eyed stanky leg) face down on the mat after choking him unconscious. That type of win has to make Jones feel good going into his fight with Rashad.

While Jones comes into Saturday night riding a stratospheric surge of momentum, Rashad enters this fight following an unceremonious, workmanlike decision victory over Phil Davis at UFC on Fox in January. However, there are many positives to take away from that victory, the first of which being the decisive, dominant manner in which Rashad managed to defeat a very talented prospect in Davis. “Suga” overcame a significant reach disadvantage (like he will face with Jones) to close the gap and effectively control Davis with his superior wrestling and ground game. Second, Rashad finally had the chance to prove that he could go the full five rounds, and imposed his will on “Mr. Wonderful” from the start of round 1 to the end of the fifth. Most of the Potato Nation seems to agree that his fight with Jones will likely be a knock down, drag out war that tests the will, strength, and cardiac endurance of both men, so it’s good to know that Rashad will be able to keep up with Jones if the fight makes it into the championship rounds. Finally, Rashad demonstrated that once he gets his opponent down on the mat, he can do some serious damage. So even if Rashad may not be able to stand and trade with Jones, he at least knows that if he can get Jones down, his chances of grinding out a victory significantly increase.

Join us after the jump for more on Jones/Evans, as well as a break down of all of the main card’s match-ups. 

(Matt Serra: MMA’s patron saint of lost causes.)

With tomorrow night’s UFC 145 main event slated as a 4-1 squash match, the CP gang is talking upsets for today’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable. If you have a topic-suggestion for a future Roundtable column, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com, and share your own MMA-upset testimonials in the comments section…

Doug “ReX13″ Richardson

This wasn’t a hard decision for me: My personal “greatest upset” would have to be Fabricio Werdum vs. Fedor Emelianenko.

While I normally disagree with that crazy fanboy (hey Sodak) explaining to me how Fedor is an intelligent machine, sent back in time to destroy craniums and assassinate Andrei Arlovski, I completely wrote off Werdum here. Like, no way a guy who hung out in Minotauro Nogueira’s guard for six days is going to get tapped by a dude who calls himself “Go Horse” and smiles like this, right? So yeah, I gave him no chance of pulling out a victory. I could be on tape somewhere saying that he had no chance, in an obnoxiously opinionated manner. I may also be credited with one of the worst predictions in CP history.

So yeah, that one stung a little bit.

(Don’t worry, we put more effort into this piece than the UFC marketing department did into that poster.) 

Rumor has it that on Saturday night, two certain somebodies may or may not partake in a certain fight that you may or may not be able to place a certain wager on, which may or may not be dependent on whether you think or don’t think you know a certain outcome of the fight itself, capiche? In either case, we are going to offer some advice that may or may not help you arrive at that determination. Check out what could hypothetically be the betting lines for UFC 145, courtesy of BestFightOdds, below, and follow us after the jump for what may or may not be our advice on where to place a certain bet that may or may not exist.

MAIN CARD
Jon Jones (-485) vs. Rashad Evans (+385)
Rory MacDonald (-600) vs. Che Mills (+450)
Ben Rothwell (+240) vs. Brendan Schaub (-280)
Mark Hominick (-600) vs. Eddie Yagin (+450)
Mark Bocek (-400) vs. John Alessio (+325)
Michael McDonald (even) vs. Miguel Torres (-120)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Travis Browne (-260) vs. Chad Griggs (+220)
Matt Brown (+250) vs. Stephen Thompson (-300)
John Makdessi (+175) vs. Anthony Njokuani (-210)
Mac Danzig (-210) vs. Efrain Escudero (+175)
Chris Clements (-200) vs. Keith Wisniewski (+170)
Maximo Blanco (-265) vs. Marcus Brimage (+225)

Thoughts…

(Pass the punchie pon the left hand side…)

Just two days out from his showdown with former UFC light heavyweight champion and bitter frenemy Rashad Evans, it appears that current champ Jon Jones has elevated his training level from Keanu Reeves to “Threat Level Midnight.” Believe it or not, his enthusiasm has had an adverse effect on the mental and physical well-being of his training partners.

Take the following video, for instance, in which Jones is matched up against who we can only assume is Nick Diaz’s pot dealer. Seriously, if we weren’t such knowledgeable MMA fans, this video would look more like the singer of Shadows Fall stumbled off his tour bus into what he believed was a cafeteria, feeling irie and looking for the nearest bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, only to be knocked the fuck out by a large African American man with hands as quick as lightning and twice as powerful. The poor bastard.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Nope. Not even gonna go there. / Photo via Zimbio.)

After all the unexpected drama on Tuesday, I was really hoping we could put “caption-gate” behind us. Oh, if only. Following up their first report on the UFC’s demand for retraction, USA Today did a second piece with UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta which further explains why the promotion was so furious with this website. Here are some choice quotes from Fertitta:

“These fighters are already paranoid enough. Dana had to talk to Rashad on the phone for 30 minutes to calm him down, to tell him, ‘Are you crazy? There’s no way I would ever bet on a fight or bet against you.’…You’ve got to understand, Rashad’s entire team — his entire camp — was in his ear telling him they read this online and that Dana bet half a million dollars against him.”

“[CagePotato] flatout lied. They just made up a story and lied. Somebody who doesn’t know what our policies are and what we do, they could look at it in a very negative light…These guys go out and do this reckless reporting — it’s not even reporting — make these reckless statements and they end up causing us fallout and having to deal with issues. Why should we even have to deal with this stuff? They made this up and lied and put it online.”

“It didn’t read like a joke at all. If you look at the article, when you first read that, it sounds like that they were in a room with Dana, talking to him, and he says, ‘Oh,’ and he kind of made a mistake and said something, and said ‘Don’t print that.’…if I read an article like that, I would seriously believe that that actually happened and that went down.”

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com / Click image for larger version.)

Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans, this Saturday night — rivalries will be settled, swagger will be jacked, special nights will be ruined. The two light-heavyweights met face-to-face yesterday at a press conference in Atlanta, and though Jones and Evans are all talked out at this point, their staredown was enough to get us hyped up in the home stretch to UFC 145. After the jump: Video highlights from the press conference.

(And to think this all started with a friction-based erection.) 

Chuck Liddell has been through some shit, ladies and gentlemen. He fought through the dark ages of the UFC, and in fact helped spearhead its rise into the mainstream. And he walked that path to glory on the mangled bones and concussed skulls of his dearest friends and family. The man’s nickname is “The Iceman,” for Christ’s sake, and considering that the nickname is written in quotations, it must literally mean that he has ice flowing through his veins. So you can imagine his lack of understanding when it comes to all these pussified, liberal fighters claiming that they won’t fight their teammates nowadays. According to Liddell, these so-called fighters should put their differences aside in the cage, duke it out, and then have a beer afterward. Here’s what he told The MMA Hour: 

If (a teammate) can beat me, they can beat me. It is what it is. They deserve to fight me then. I’m not going to hold back some guy that’s in my camp if he wants to fight me. That’s not my thing. It’s just a personal choice and a personal opinion, but I think eventually, hey you guys are going at it, then go out and have two beers together afterwards. Go out there and prove who’s best that day, and go out and be friends again.

Given Liddell’s well documented feud with former teammate Tito Ortiz, you can rest assured that he is a man of his word. Hell, the fact that these two can even stand in the same room with each other, let alone pose for these kinds of pictures is pretty amazing after all that they have been through.

At this point, everything that Jon Jones has to say about his rivalry with Rashad Evans has been said (and said, and said). But with less than a week remaining until their looooong-awaited showdown, we wanted to get a better sense of Bones’s mindset heading into his third light-heavyweight belt-defense at UFC 145. CagePotato video-correspondent Sal Mora spent a few minutes with the champ at his Jackson’s MMA homebase in Albuquerque for an exclusive fight-week interview that you can watch after the jump. Some highlights…

- On the possibility of a reconciliation with Evans after the fight: ”I honestly don’t know what will go on after the fight, but I really don’t have any interest in becoming friends with Rashad again. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to do a job.”

- On moving to heavyweight: “I did ask Dana White, ‘Can I get a fight at heavyweight at the end of this year?’ and he told me that he didn’t think that was best for me right now. I’m totally okay with where I’m at and competing at the light-heavyweight division. I think there’s a lot of great competition left…I’m sure guys like Lyoto [Machida] are gonna be coming back around for their rematches too, so everything’s going according to plan.”

(God damn…Randy Couture is looking ROUGH these days.) 

It’s kind of a shame that we’ve barely managed to touch upon the aftermath of what was a fantastic UFC on FUEL event this past weekend, but simply put, UFC 145 has so much more on the line in terms of hype, hatred, and championship gold that the Swedish card can’t help but be placed on the back burner. The light heavyweight championship bout pitting Jon Jones against Rashad Evans has torn fans, friends, and even training camps apart before our very eyes, and we are just a business week away from finally being treated to its conclusion.

And among those divided by this match-up are the very fighters who once ruled the 205 lb division with an iron fist. Everyone from Chuck Liddell to Vitor Belfort to even Frank Shamrock (who was king of the division back in its “middleweight” days) recently weighed-in on the fight, and needless to say, they have it a lot closer than the bookies do at this point.

Let’s start with the division’s very first champion, Frank Shamrock, who was finally able to speak without unknowingly blinding his audience with the illuminating power of his braces:

This fight has a tremendous story behind it, with it having grown out of a friendship that went sour back when these two were teammates. The drama that’s fueling this is incredible. Fans can expect a fight that, stylistically, will be extremely challenging for Jones to overcome, and he’ll have fits with Rashad’s wrestling if he’s able to put Jon on his back. But ultimately, I see Jones being able to inflict more damage and walk away with the belt still in hand. This will be a fight that will not end as easily and devastatingly as Jones’s others have, but rather one of those moments in his career where he’ll have to pull himself up and battle until the final bell. In the end, this fight will help Jon become a better fighter and a better champion, and will endear himself to fans for years to come.

Join us after the jump to hear what the rest of the light heavyweight elite have to say about Bones/Suga.

(Alright, Rashad, you know what to do. As soon as he offers to shake your hand, pull away at the last second and then just stroll past him like a boss.) 

The war of words between former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans and current champ Jon Jones has been brewing for what feels like forever, so much so that anyone within arms reach of either man has come under fire in the past few weeks. And at the epicenter of these disputes is none other than Evans’ former coach and Jones’ current one, Greg Jackson. Yes, ever since Rashad left Team Jackson for the greener pastures of Blackzilia, he has been rather candid when discussing what he believes was a betrayal on Jackson’s part.

When we last caught up with these two, Jones attempted to explain his side of the story, basically saying that Jackson has tried on numerous occasions to reconcile with Evans, who has instead opted to bash “the program and the history” of Team Jackson. A history that Evans himself helped build, nonetheless. “Suga,” on the other hand, felt that Jackson simply traded in his Cutlass Classic for a brand new Buick Lacrosse, so to speak. And in a recent interview with MMAWeekly, Evans expanded upon this notion, choosing to use Greg Jackson’s name as much as humanly possible:

Like I told Greg at the time, I told Greg I don’t think it would be a good idea, but Greg did what Greg wanted to do for Greg. That’s why Greg brought him on because Greg wanted to do what he wanted to do for Greg.

That’s the thing about him. Greg talks about ‘for the team, for the team.’ The team consists of ‘I’ which is Greg Jackson. That’s what the team consists of, it’s about Greg Jackson getting the ‘Coach of the Year’ awards. That’s what it consists of.

Though we all know that Greg has always been a man of the people, this seems like an unnecessarily brutal criticism by Evans, does it not?

(That look in Chuck’s eyes — we know it well. / Full gallery is after the jump.)

Since our 25 Most Awkward Photos in MMA History gallery was such a big success, and because we could all use some stupid fun on a Friday afternoon, we decided to put together a GIF-based sequel. Enjoy the uncomfortable hilarity, and if we left out any of your favorites, please post some links in the comments section. Have a great weekend, Potato Nation!

(So wait, it ISN’T casual Friday?) 

Thank Science, the UFC’s six week drought is finally coming to an end. After Alexander Gustafsson and Thiago Silva throw down at this weekend’s UFC on FUEL event in Sweden, Rashad Evans will finally get the chance to slay the metaphorical white whale, that has long alluded him when he takes on former friend/current foe Jon Jones at UFC 145. These two have been going at it for what seems like years now, and when the pair sat down alongside Jon Anik on a recent episode of Ultimate Insider, things got heated rather quickly.

It all started (at least this time) when Anik brought up Greg Jackson, who will in fact be cornering Jones against Evans come April 21st. Ever since Evans departed from Team Jackson, let’s just say that he and Greg haven’t been on the best of terms. Or even speaking terms, for that matter. Jones, however, feels that the rift between them is mainly due to Evans constant bashing of the very camp he helped build. Here’s what he began to say:

Greg, he said, basically, Rashad is always welcome back. You know, Rashad will always be like a brother to me. You know, he spoke so highly of Rashad. On numerous occasions, he really did everything he could to keep some type of rapport.

Evans quickly chimed in, “He did everything, but he didn’t even give me a call and talk to me. He did everything but couldn’t do the simplest thing.”

Jones brushed off the remark, stating, “On the other hand, you have Rashad, who’s bashing the program and the history -”

It was at this point that Rashad all but flew off the handle, claiming that he was Team Jackson’s history, and that Jones was basically just riding on his coattails. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Anik tried to remain calm while cautiously scanning the Ultimate Insider studio for someone big enough to separate these two if need be, because it sure as shit wasn’t going to be him.

Check out the full video after the jump.

Primetime Part I (Video via: YouTube/WeedIsJustAPlanttt)

Despite the brooding drama built into the upcoming Jon Jones-Rashad Evans title fight at UFC 145, the latest installment of the UFC Primetime franchise has a decidedly more mature aura about it. No more fire-alarm monologues, no more interviews with grade school teachers. We’re dealing with big people problems. Rashad Evans has lost just about everything in his life over the past year, and he places a lot of that blame on the shoulders of his former teammates. While other matchups may have produced more vitriol for the cameras, few have the depth behind them as this rivalry.

Come on in for a breakdown of the highlights and Part II of the video.

(Pufferface: Because duckface is so 2010.) 

Much was made about Jon Jones’ recent Muhammed Ali-inspired cover for the May issue of UFC Magazine. Some thought it was way too early in Jones’ career to make such comparisons, some thought it was awesome, and other conspiracy theorist types launched into possibly one of the most pointless arguments I have ever had the displeasure of reading; the “puffiness” of Jones’ cheeks and whether or not the photo was faked. Really, guys?

Regardless of what side of the fence you stand on, check out this behind-the-scenes look at the cover shoot so we can all put this argument to rest.

(“You and I were long friends; you are now my enemy, and I am yours. – Ben Franklin)

By Jason Moles

Friendship is, and always will be, one of life’s trickiest puzzles. It is also one of the most rewarding and enriching experiences a person will ever have. But despite all of the wonderful joys that come from having a friend, not all friendships are made to last the sands of time like Fred and Barney. How could they? Ego, pride, and the opposite sex often reduce the strongest of bonds to mere ashes. And we wouldn’t want it any other way because some guys make good friends, but much better enemies. Here’s a look at five classic friendships gone awry…

Jon Jones – Rashad Evans

In a time when instant gratification is king, the world is still awaiting the showdown between former friends and training partners, ‘Suga’ Rashad Evans and Jon ‘Bones’ Jones. Jackson’s MMA used to be a place where the two sweat and bled together, side by side, day after day — as friends. These two were more like brothers than Ken and Frank, so much so that they vowed never to fight each other, suggesting someone would fake an injury to avoid the confrontation at all costs.

We’ve had multiple in-cage showdowns, a twitter beef or two, and a minor club incident since the moment the young rising star confirmed that he would indeed fight the former TUF 2 winner if Dana White really wanted him to. Fast forward a year and the two have still yet to fight thanks to injuries, both real and imagined. Some would argue that “Good things come to those who wait,” but patience is not a virtue most of us possess. We want to see these dudes throw down now! All we are concerned with at this point is who the teacher is and who is the student.

(Detectid, did u no goin and you tell me do things I dun runnin?) 

Happy Monday, Potato Nation. Whether you spent the weekend letting out some built up anxiety or fighting your way out of retirement, we can all take solace in the fact that most of us probably emerged unscathed from what was a prank filled April Fools Day yesterday. I, for one, was not so lucky. You see, I was unaware that yesterday was in fact April Fools Day. My ex, on the other hand, felt it would be funny to inform me that she was pregnant, and that the child was mine, only to send me a text at 12:01 a.m. stating the opposite. No one will miss her.

Speaking of people that found themselves victim to a good old fashioned AFD ruse, former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans was recently the target of a simple, albeit clever prank last weekend during an autograph signing session. One fan, who must not be able to purchase underwear due to the size of his massive balls, decided to ask Evans to autograph the above photo depicting his brutal knockout loss to Lyoto Machida at UFC 98. Considering Rashad’s well documented sense of humor, you’d think he could have a good laugh at his own expense.

You would be wrong.

(What has two thumbs, false teeth and a guaranteed title shot? This guy!)

After months of contradictory and unclear statements from Dan Henderson and UFC President Dana White, fans are now being told with certainty that Hendo’s next fight will be for a belt. Being the stone-cold pimp that he is, Henderson can fight in multiple divisions, and his next fight will take place at either middleweight or light-heavyweight. In a new interview with Heavy.com’s Megan Olivi, White had the following to say regarding the future of the winner of da greatest MMA fight ever:

“Dan Henderson will get the winner of that fight or the winner of the Anderson Silva [vs. Chael Sonnen] fight. Dan Henderson just wants a title shot. There’s been a lot of talk about the stuff that I said. Here’s the thing: I offered Dan Henderson two fights. Dan Henderson wants this fight. Normally I don’t do that. Guys don’t sit around and pick their fights. There’s been very specific cases where that’s happened and it’s guys who have earned it or deserve it, and Dan Henderson is one of those guys. Listen, if Dan Henderson, Henderson has been around forever. He’s forty-something years old, he’s been knocking guys out left and right. If he wants to sit around and wait for this title shot, he can do it.”

(“Is this angry enough for you?”)

Zuffa has been killing it lately with the professional quality of its promos like the one they put out for the Rousey-Tate bout and the “Believe Your Eyes” recap of Jon Jones’ win over Lyoto Machida.

The most recent addition to the list is this pre-UFC 145 spot featuring Rashad Evans, titled “The Payback.” Clips like these remind me of the top-tier promos boxing fans have been spoiled with the past few years. Hopefully they keep making them to keep fans interested when there’s a lull in action like we’ve experienced the past month.

Now we know how fans of sports like hockey, baseball, football and basketball feel.

Check out the short after the jump.

(“Where is your hero now?”)

On this day, March 19, one year ago, a lanky 23-year-old from Rochester, NY stepped into the Octagon to face the biggest challenge of his young MMA career. He would meet the challenge head-on and walk out of the cage 20 minutes later a champion.

The fighter was Jon Jones and the challenge was PRIDE legend and then-UFC light heavyweight champ Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, whom he faced that night for the title. Jones demonstrated the poise and skill set of a veteran, finishing Rua in the third round after controlling the first two frames, and in doing so, he quieted the doubters, if only for a moment.

(Apparently, some fighters thought that LL was the singer of ‘Macarena.’)

With the growing popularity of the sport of mixed martial arts, it’s surprising that we haven’t seen more fighters in music videos. Maybe MTV just isn’t ready for cauliflower ear.

At any rate, there have been a few fighters who have appeared in a handful of videos.

Check out some of our favorites after the jump.

It is a little known fact that Jon Jones has a stipulation in his UFC contract that forbids him from appearing in any form of promotional media without viciously assaulting someone whilst doing so. That child innocently swinging at the playground? He’s getting the boots put to him. That co-worker complaining about shorter lunches? He’s getting choked the fuck out. Mr. Jones’ newest commercial is no different, but thankfully, no helpless bystanders were injured this time. In fact, the ad is nothing more than a slow-mo recap of his recent win over former UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Lyoto Machida. And it couldn’t be any cooler.

(Bones’ unorthodox stand-up proved too much for Rashad.)

We’ve all seen street “fights” like the one below when we were younger, where the two combatants spend more time circling and jawing at each other than they do actually settling things the way boys do: by sloppily throwing haymakers until they both gas out.

Apparently in this hood, beef quashing is a community initiative as you can see by the mother screaming encouragement while several adults and kids look on as these two young men nearly get it on. Their stand-up makes Royce Gracie’s look like Badr Hari’s.

Video: CSS-Sports.com (Part II after the jump)

Their battle has been a long time coming, and with a date finally set the war of words between Rashad Evans and Jon Jones is starting to heat up. Fresh off the heels of their UFC 145 presser, the two sat down with the crew of SportsNite to verbally squab once more.

Jones dutifully stuck to the script, referring to this bout as just another chapter in “his storyline” and flattering himself whenever possible. Rashad seemed content to lay back and paint ‘Bones’ as a fraud and a hypocrite. No one got KTFO, but both men scored with the jab—here’s a quick look at some of the exchanges.