(“I’LL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME, JAY, WHO TATTOOED THIS AFFLICTION SHIRT TO YOUR BACK?!”) 

If the first month is any indication, 2013 is going to be a good year for MMA. There hasn’t been a significant injury in weeks (sorry Patricky), title fights are almost starting to make sense, and on top of it all, the UFC’s primetime ratings are slowly beginning their climb out of the abyss. Throw in the fact that Bruce Buffer’s upcoming autobiography is all but a shoe-in for a Pulitzer and we are left with little to complain about. It feels…good.

So before we jinx ourselves, let’s get to the great news regarding the preliminary portion of UFC 156, which was able to pull in record numbers during its run on FX last Saturday despite the fact that it featured several debuting fighters and not a lot of name power. As MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer reports:

Saturday’s UFC 156 prelims drew 1,897,000 viewers, topping the previous UFC on FX record of 1,860,000 viewers set two weeks earlier for the Vitor Belfort vs. Michael Bisping card from Sao Paulo, Brazil.

The number was a huge increase from the prelims on FX on Jan. 26 before the FOX network special from Chicago’s United Center which did 1,208,000 viewers.

The largest previous audience on FX for prelims before a big show came on July 7 when theUFC 148 prelims did 1.8 million viewers. But that was to be expected, since there was more interest in UFC on that day with the Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen middleweight title rematch than any day over the past two years. 

After almost ten minutes of research, we have determined that there are only two real explanations for the UFC’s sudden viewership jump:

(The average new viewer tuned in for 5 minutes and 54 seconds before realizing they weren’t watching ‘America’s Best Dance Crew.’ Photo via Tracy Lee/Cagewriter.)

For those of you who thought that the UFC’s decision to headline a FOX card with 125-pounders was promotional suicide, it’s time to eat some crow. According to the final ratings numbers, UFC on FOX 6: Johnson vs. Dodson drew an average of 4.4 million viewers last Saturday, peaking at 5.2 million viewers for the flyweight championship main event. That’s only a slight decrease from the viewership of the last FOX card, which attracted 4.4 million average viewers with a peak of 5.7 million for the Benson Henderson vs. Nate Diaz lightweight title fight.

Judging from the data here and here, Johnson vs. Dodson’s 5.2 million viewer peak would place it around #13 on the list of the most-watched MMA fights of all time in the United States. It’ll be interesting to see how the next UFC on FOX event on April 20th stacks up, as it features a returning star in Benson Henderson — and an excellent heavyweight feature adding weight to the main card — but won’t benefit from the frequent promos during NFL broadcasts that UFC on FOX 6 received.

For a quick comparison of the average viewerships for each UFC on FOX card so far, check out the numbers after the jump…

(Look at it this way, Nate, at least no one saw Tarec do this to you.) 

Over the past few weeks, we’ve referred to Strikeforce’s final event as a lot of things: “a series of pathetic mismatches on the level of Pros vs. Joes,” “an injury-riddled metaphor for MMA in 2012,” “a once great promotion, now, a study in moppishness,” but no matter how hard we try, words often fail to accurately depict Strikeforce’s drawn out fall from grace.

But where words fail, numbers often succeed. And ladies and gentlemen, the numbers that were just released for Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine say so, so much more than we ever could. According to MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer, the promotion’s final event brought in less viewers than your average Tuesday afternoon rerun of a Law and Order: Special Victims Unit episode. No, I am not currently watching a rerun of a Law and Order: Special Victims Unit episode. Meltzer writes:

Saturday night’s show was headlined by Nate Marquardt vs. Tarec Saffiedine for the Strikeforce welterweight title, but was really promoted around being the end of an era. However, there was little fan interest in that nostalgia and the event did a 0.82 rating and 310,000 viewers among Showtime subscribers.

From a rating standpoint, the only major Saturday night show on the network that did a number in that ballpark was the September 10, 2011, show from Cincinnati…did an identical 0.82 rating, with 274,000 viewers.

Ouch. While there’s no doubt that the removal of guys like Luke Rockhold and Gil Melendez from the card — and the subsequent cancelling of their title fights — is at least partly responsible for these abysmal ratings, we’re not sure anyone could have seen the former #2 promotion in MMA ending its career on lamer terms than, say, Ice-T in Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. 

(Where the hell do y’all think you’re going?! Please, I’m begging you, if you stick around, I’ll even break out the Techno Viking dance!) 

We can’t wait to see how Dana White tries to spin this one.

The numbers were just released for all of last weekend’s UFC events. The good news: The main FX card did pretty well and the fourth episode of The Ultimate Fighter hit a seasonal high in terms of viewership (take that with a grain of salt). The bad news: The FUEL prelims were caught by less people than the 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee prelims on ESPN 3. Probably.

You see, last Friday’s FUEL prelims only managed to draw in 44,000 viewers, absolutely shattering the promotion’s previous FUEL prelim low of 84,000 for UFC on FX 3. If these kind of numbers do not improve, the UFC won’t have to worry about emerging victorious from a ratings war with the WWE because they will be too busy trying to compete with the Punkin Chunkin people. We expect DW to start lobbing insults at “those four-eyed f*cking scumbag f*cks on the Lience Channel” any day now.

(UFC on FOX Main Event Fighters Mauricio “Shogun” Rua (L) and Brandon Vera | Photo Credit MMA Junkie)

So, we all know that Saturday’s UFC on FOX card was spectacular, with every main card bout (and many under card ones) being competitive and thrilling, but how did it fare in the ratings? Preliminary ratings from TV by the Numbers, show that the UFC ratings were relatively strong. The UFC on FOX peaked with a preliminary rating of 2.36 during the Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. Brandon Vera main event.

The bad news for MMA partisans is that the UFC on FOX, like everything else on television Saturday night, got blown out of the water by the Summer Olympics. These are the highest-rated Olympics in history, so it is what it is.

The good news is that, in overall ratings and in the 18-49 year old demographic, the UFC on FOX telecast placed second to the Olympics in ratings every half hour they went head to head.

(If Kimbo couldn’t convince you to watch the show, there’s really no hope for any of us.)

According to a new report on MMAJunkie, the ratings for Friday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter on FX were low enough to make it the lowest-rated episode in the entire 15-season run of the series, and represented a 27% drop from the season premiere last month. (Damn, and we were sure that the Chris Tickle gout-subplot would be a ratings juggernaut.) Here’s how the ratings have shaken out so far this season:

The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 1: 1.3 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 2: 1.1 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 3: 1.2 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 4: 1.1 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 5: 947,000 viewers

Grain of salt time…

(Props: ArkhamAsylum via TheGarv)

Brilliant. Speaking of ugly defeats, Spike’s "Main Events" counter-programming special that aired opposite "Fedor vs. Rogers" on Saturday night drew 2.14 million average viewers — over back-to-back airings. According to MMA Junkie, "The 9 p.m. ET/PT airing of the special drew 1.2 million viewers, and the 11 p.m. replay drew an additional 939,000 viewers." If you’ll recall, Strikeforce’s live show brought in a very respectable 4.04 million average viewers on CBS. (Doesn’t feel good getting outgunned by a larger network, does it Dana?) With their asses chapped by the ratings drubbing, Spike sent out some data implying that Fedor is still no Kimbo-on-TUF when it comes to putting asses on couches. Our advice to Fedor? Learn English, grow a bushy beard, and knock some fools out in a boatyard. And would it kill you to start a Twitter page?

(Look familiar? Photo courtesy of this set on Combat Lifestyle.)

Though the entire broadcast of "Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers" averaged 4.04 million viewers — placing it behind Kimbo-headlined CBS cards like "EliteXC: Primetime" (4.85 million viewers) and "EliteXC: Heat" (4.56 million viewers) — the ratings for Saturday night’s card shot up during the main event. MMA Weekly reports that 5.46 million home viewers were in attendance between 11:00 p.m. and 11:15 p.m., making the Emelianenko vs. Rogers match the ninth-most-watched fight in U.S. MMA history. You can check out this slightly outdated list to see where that puts them, but basically, the fight fell just 15,000 viewers short of Michael Bisping vs. Matt Hamill, and about 1.8 million viewers short of the reigning champion, Kimbo vs. James Thompson. Senior Executive Vice President of CBS Primetime Kelly Kahl was pleased with the numbers:

Not coincidentally, the 11:00-11:15 p.m. block coincides with the time when the UFC’s "Main Events" broadcast on Spike had just ended — so a large part of the bump could be attributed to MMA fans switching from one channel to another. (No word yet on how Spike did that night.) The question is: Can Fedor draw even better ratings in his next CBS appearance, now that he’s more of a known quantity? Will he ever approach — dare we say it — Kimbo-esque levels of stardom?

(Cheer up buddy, that’s like one viewer for every dollar you made! Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

According to new viewership figures dug up by FightTicker, Showtime’s broadcast of "Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Diaz" pulled in 364,000 average viewers on Saturday night, for an average rating of 0.64. While that may sound piss-poor, considering the UFC drew 1.9 million viewers (and an avg. rating of 1.4) for their replay of UFC 94 on Spike TV the same night, there is a silver lining.

First off, that 364,000 figure makes "Shamrock vs. Diaz" the third most-watched MMA event in Showtime history, putting it just behind Strikeforce’s "Shamrock vs. Baroni" event in June 2007 (which hangs on to its #2 spot with 365,000 viewers) and the Kimbo Slice-headlined "EliteXC: Street Certified" in February 2008 (which scored 511,000 viewers). Plus, you have to take into consideration the fact that Spike TV is available in six times as many homes as Showtime. And still, Strikeforce’s 1.53 rating among men aged 18-34 actually beat UFC 94′s rating in that category (1.3).

I’m not an expert in this stuff, but that seems like a decent starting point for Strikeforce 2.0. No, they’re not ready to throw together pay-per-view events, but they managed to make a good showing with a card headlined by a non-title fight involving one guy who was coming off a loss. The event itself was entertaining enough to hook most viewers into coming back for the next installment. Can June’s "Lawler vs. Shields" show keep the momentum rolling — or will it be a ratings disappointment without a big name like "Shamrock" to draw casual viewers?

(Andrei and Roy fight for recognition in this hot-chick-and-Internet-brawler-dominated world of MMA. Photo courtesy of AOL Sports.)

EliteXC pulled its CBS ratings back up to the levels of its first “Saturday Night Fights” broadcast with this weekend’s “Heat” show, which drew 4.30 million average viewers through 11 p.m. (not counting the main event, which ran over the scheduled time); May’s “Primetime” card took in a nearly identical 4.31 million average viewers in the same timeframe. “Heat” made CBS the #1 network among male viewers in the 18-34 and 18-49 age brackets, and in the adults (men and women) 18-34 category. It tied with ABC’s college football broadcast among adults 18-49, and was soundly beaten in overall rating by America’s Most Wanted.

Even though the numbers display no growth from the May show, they’re much higher than the Kimbo-and-Gina-less bomb of “Unfinished Business,” and CBS is (at least publicly) happy with the ratings. As CBS Senior Executive VP for Primetime Kelly Kahl told AOL Sports’s Michael David Smith:

“We have a four-fight contract. We certainly plan on coming back with fight No. 4. The numbers last night were terrific. The total viewer number was on par with May 31 and the demos were down just a little bit, but we were up against a couple good college football games and the baseball playoffs…Last night was a step ahead, not a step back. To do roughly the numbers we did in May against much steeper competition bodes pretty well.”

Discussing the idea that Kimbo’s loss would mean the end for EliteXC on CBS, Kahl said:

“That is 100 percent misinformed, written by a lot of people who have very little inside knowledge into what’s going on even though they might think they do.”

Question: Will people still tune in to see Kimbo Slice fight now that he’s been exposed as merely human, or will Saturday Night Fights have to become The Gina Carano Show? It seems EliteXC will need a Tito Ortiz-caliber signing to ensure that their next CBS card doesn’t follow in the disappointing footsteps of “Unfinished Business.”

(There’s really no reason for us to post this picture except that holy shit is Cris Cyborg terrifying.)

From an amusing new press release just sent out by Spike TV:

SPIKE TV’S RE-BROADCAST OF UFC 84 DRAWS MORE YOUNG MEN THAN A LIVE PRO ELITEXC CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHT ON CBS

Need proof the UFC is the preeminent mixed martial arts brand in the world? On Saturday, July 26, more men 18-34 watched a repeat…a repeat…of a UFC event on Spike TV than a LIVE telecast of a Pro EliteXC championship card on CBS. Despite being available in over 17 million more homes [ed. note: I think they mean over 17 million less homes?], Spike TV drew 27% more Men 18-34 for a re-broadcast of “UFC 84: Penn vs. Sherk” from (9:00-12:00am ET/PT) than CBS’s live show (9:00-11:00pm). Spike TV’s telecast tallied 433,000 Men 18-34 to CBS’s 341,000.

Overall, “UFC 84: Penn vs. Sherk” drew higher ratings than Pro EliteXC in Men 18-49 (1.5 to 1.3) and Men 18-34 (1.5 and 1.0).

Reminiscent of the XFL’s rating collapse years ago, the CBS telecast was 69% lower in Men 18-34 and 57% lower with Men 18-49 than its initial broadcast on CBS in May featuring the “He Hate Me” of MMA, Kimbo Slice.

Garbling the competition’s name as “Pro EliteXC” is an awesomely passive aggressive touch, as is comparing EliteXC to the ill-fated XFL. We’re not sure what’s up with referring to Kimbo as “He Hate Me,” though it sounds vaguely racist, and Spike Lee is probably preparing an infringement lawsuit as we speak.

Anyway, sending out a press release on your competition’s weak ratings is a barrel of laughs, but maybe the joke’s on Spike.

(“I’d like to say fuck you to all my fans, fuck you to everyone at Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu who helped me train for this fight, a huge fuck you to my brother, fuck you to my sponsors Chase Chevrolet and Stagr…” Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

If CBS’s latest “Saturday Night Fights” card proved anything, it was that the EliteXC brand isn’t strong enough yet to pull in viewers without its marquee fighters. “Unfinished Business” drew 2.62 million sets of eyeballs according to f4wonline.com, and while that’s not a ratings disaster, it does represent almost a 50% drop from the “Primetime” show in May, which was headlined by Kimbo Slice and Gina Carano. Getting the ratings back on track will be priority #1 for EliteXC’s next show; during Saturday’s broadcast, it was announced that “Saturday Night Fights III” (actual title TBA) will go down October 4th at the BankAtlantic Center near Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and Mr. Ferguson and Ms. Carano have been booked to fight.

Now the question is, who will they be fighting? We previously mentioned that Kelly Kobald was being discussed as the next opponent for “Crush/Conviction,” but Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos had a star-making performance this weekend with her double-homicide of Shayna Baszler, and a Carano/Cyborg matchup would probably be the biggest fight in women’s MMA right now. As for Kimbo, who freakin’ knows. Brett Rogers is still the most obvious choice for Ferg’s next opponent, but EliteXC has been cagey about confirming it, leading some to wonder if Rogers is being saved for Antonio Silva’s first heavyweight title defense. Regarding a Slice/Rogers match, EliteXC’s Head of Fight Operations Jeremy Lappen said “I’m not sure if that’s the fight fans want to see right now,” telling Sherdog that EliteXC is now looking at four or five potential candidates for Slice’s next opponent. He wouldn’t name names.

(Photo courtesy of the LA Times.)

Final viewership figures from EliteXC/CBS’s Saturday Night Fights broadcast were announced today via press release, and despite all the unfortunate aspects of the event itself, it was undeniably a smash in terms of drawing an audience. The final 51 minutes of the 171-minute program delivered an average of 6.12 million viewers, peaking at 6.51 million viewers during the main event. Compared to CBS’s regularly scheduled programming at 9:00-11:00 PM on Saturday during the 2007-08 season, the ratings were up an astounding 357% among men aged 18-34. In other words, as troubled as SNF was, you’ll definitely be seeing it again. (Apologies, squeamish Middle America.) Here’s the demographic breakdown released by CBS, showing rating figures and peak viewership:

The 4.31 million average viewers pulled in by SNF from 9 to 11 p.m. edged out the 4.23 scored by ABC during that time and the 4.31 recorded by NBC, which was showing an NHL playoff game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings. CBS’s beating of NBC was especially prominent in L.A., where EliteXC peaked at a 7.2 share, while the NHL averaged a 3 share. (FOX kicked everyone’s ass with the perennial Saturday night twofer of Cops and America’s Most Wanted.)

And if you need more useless information, here are the top 10 markets for CBS from 11:30-11:45 PM on Saturday:

1) Oklahoma City/KWTV: 11.1 rating/18 share
2) Nashville/WTVF: 10.3/19
3) New Orleans/WWL: 9.7/15
4) Memphis/WREG: 8.4/14
5) Greenville-Spartanburg-Asheville/WSPA: 8.0/15
6) Las Vegas/KLAS: 7.5/15
7T) Tulsa/KOTV: 7.3/13
7T) Miami/WFOR: 7.3/12
9) Los Angeles/KCBS: 7.2/17
10) St Louis/KMOV: 7.1/13

(The #1 image on GIS for “friday grind”…seriously.)

It’s the usual post-April Fool’s holiday blues wind-down. We’re all just biding our time until Happy Hour, so here are a few shorties to keep you busy until then.

— The UFC is now making more fights official for UFC 85. The show is to go down on June 7th in London. We already know Chuck Liddell will face Rashad Evans in the lame main event, and we’ve followed the other rumors, so let’s take a look at the UFC’s official card as it stands now:

– Chuck Liddell vs Rashad Evans
– Fabricio Werdum vs Brandon Vera
– Martin Kampmann vs Jorge Rivera
– Mike Swick vs Marcus Davis
– Nate Marquardt vs Thales Leites
– Jason Lambert vs Luis Cane
– Thiago Tavares vs Matt Wiman

Other rumored fights for the event that have not been stamped with the UFC official approval yet include: Jess Liaudin versus Paul Taylor, Antoni Hardonk versus Neil Wain, and Ryo Chonan versus Roan Carneiro. This comes via MMAWeekly, but we’ll keep our eyes on it for you.

— BloodyElbow is reporting that the UFC Fight Night 13‘s ratings were — in a word — shitty. The show did a 1.1 rating, which is terrible if you know anything about ratings. For such a stacked card, this really sucks for MMA on free TV. It goes to show you the unfortunate need for a Kimbo/Brock Lesnar/Chuck Liddell as a main eventer.

“TUF 7″ pulled a 1.3 immediately after the 3-hour event, so the previous joint retained its audience and gained some reality show hounds, too. For whatever it’s worth.

— And file this one with the Too Drunk to Care Bureau. Fightlinker dug up a crack-head’s video of Ken Shamrock apparently jonesin’ for meth. Check it out if you dare:

I’ll give them a tip o’ hat for editing, but first — a few quick words to the meth-head:

1) Work on your spelling and punctuation
2) Work on a Ken Shamrock ‘roids video
3) Meth…we’re assuming the Ken Shamrock pictorial is meant as sarcastic?
4) You gotta’ hook-up?

Have a bitchin’ weekend.