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Tag: Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis, MMA Champion: The Feel-Good Story That Wouldn’t Be

Via Sobriety Fighter

For those uninitiated, Sobriety Fighter is my own side-project. I’ve dedicated 2013 to being a year-long experiment where I spend one year as a full-time fighter while also attempting to stay clean and sober. I can’t promise that I’ll be the next Elias Cepeda or that I’ll never relapse, but I can promise that I’ll do my absolute best for everyone. Most of the stuff I post isn’t particularly MMA-related, but this is. Enjoy. - [SethFalvo]

Pride!…Heart!…Poise!…And toughness,” the stereotypically fat high school football coach barks at his disturbingly old squad [Author Note: How is it even possible to coach athletes so dumb that they’re all blatantly in their twenties, yet still in high school?] in one especially cringe-worthy Under Armor commercial. “Are these just words *dramatic pause* or is that who you are?” I had a pretty decent GPA in graduate school, yet I still have no idea what the tap-dancing Christ that’s supposed to mean.

Sports commentary can be such a prepackaged mess of machismo clichés and feel-good stories that it’s easy to become detached from it. It’s bad enough when the rhetoric is generic enough to immediately trigger an eye-roll, and it’s amplified when the tough-talk makes absolutely no sense once you actually examine what’s being said – like in the above Under Armor commercial.

With only two days separating us from Super Bowl XLVII, the media has been using Ray Lewis as a one-stop shop for all of the tough talk and feel-good bullshit you’re completely numb to. Ray Lewis! He has such passion for the game! Ray Lewis! He’s a God-fearing Hall of Fame caliber linebacker! Ray Lewis! He’s in-your-face, never-say-die, gritty, click-clack, shows a lot of heart, gives it his all and literally any other cliché you can cram into this sentence!  Ray Lewis! He just loves football so much that when he retires after this game, sons and fathers will stand united while he does so…as a Super Bowl Champion!

The fact that the “Ray Lewis retired on top” story has already been written, even though the game has yet to be played, is gag-worthy by itself. But don’t worry, it gets worse: In terms of pure bullshit, masquerading Ray Lewis as feel-good drivel is right up there with the most recent feel-good story surrounding a famous, talented linebacker. Ray Lewis is a guy who either got away with murder or snitched on his friends (depending on what you believe the real story is), used a banned substance that the NFL doesn’t test for during his career, and did it all while maintaining the shit-eating piousness he’s known for. The legacies of star athletes are built around feel-good folk tales, regardless of how far the truth has to be stretched in order to fit the mold.

Keep all that in mind while watching “the passion Lewis has for the game of football” escape him in this interview:

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10 NFL Players Who Might Actually Have a Chance in an MMA Fight

By CagePotato contributor, Jason Moles

(Garth DeFelice could have been a contender if it weren’t for that bum hip.)

Imagine for a moment that it’s a hot July morning. You wake up in your McMansion located in a gated community or on a private road. You step into a bathroom, which appears to have been transplanted from a magazine, and take a shower. After you’re dressed, it’s time to have a modest breakfast consisting of no less than four eggs, three slices of bacon, three sausage links, a stack of hotcakes so scrumptious Paul Bunyan would be jealous, and all the freshly squeezed orange juice a man could want. Once you’ve had your fill, you hop in your Lamborghini and head to work… at BestBuy, or maybe it’s Staples. Oops, almost forgot; you went to college so you may have landed a comfortable desk job.

Yes sir, instead of heading to two-a-days at the stadium preparing for the upcoming season on the gridiron, you’re playing the role of the stiff with a 9-5’er to make ends meet. Hey man, it is after all “straight cash, homey” and every hour worked in that inglorious soul-crusher known as work is another chance to elude the repo man.

Do you know who you are? You are an American football player who used to play in the NFL. Since the lockout, things just haven’t been the same. We know it’s all about the Benjamins and all (unless your name is Herschel Walker), so here are a few, possibly former NFL players who might actually have a chance in MMA, unlike Jonnie Morton.

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