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Tag: reality television

‘TUF 19′ to Feature 185-Pound Men, 205-Pound Women (Not Really, But Could You Imagine?)


Bas Rutten poses with a future UFC women’s Gibraltarweight champion. Image via (COVER YOUR EYES!!) Rutten’s Facebook.

It’s a credit to reality television that it has managed to both continuously lower our expectations regarding what is an idea worthy of verbalizing (looking at you, everything on Bravo excluding Top Chef) while simultaneously redefining what we consider a “season” of television. Whereas in simpler times, a show like Seinfeld would operate at a one season per year pace, reality TV has somehow managed to dilute even the most basic of television truths, cramming upwards of four seasons into the average year. Not to mention all the spin offs. My God, all the spin offs.

The Ultimate Fighter is one of the more notable offenders of this trend, now 18 seasons deep despite being less than 10 years old. Another favorite of mine, Chopped, also requires a mention, now 14 seasons deep in just 4 years (!!). Yes, the cheap production costs and minimal staffing required for the average reality show has seen them churned out at near breakneck speed, which is why it makes sense that in the same week we received our first glimpse of TUF 18, the UFC is already putting out a casting call for TUF 19.

According to release sent out by UFC.com early today, next season’s tryouts will be open to MEN (their emphasis, not ours) competing in the middleweight and light heavyweight divisions. The requirements are as follows:

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The Next Big Dumb Thing is Here: ‘Warrior Island’

After watching several cartoonishly corny videos (the first above, more of which we will subject you to after the jump) we’re not sure what “Warrior Island” is, exactly, but from the little we can glean it is even more stupid than X-Arm. If you’re not familiar with X-Arm, watch this and realize the magnitude of the above claim.

We’ll mostly let the videos speak for themselves but it appears as if something called Global Proving Ground (GPG, to help this future pop culture phenomenon get rolling) is pitching a reality competition television show that will, in some way, include martial artists pitted against one another on an island. They are holding tryouts – you don’t want to miss the audition tapes below – and we, the ardent GPG fans will vote on who we want to see on the island, or something to that effect.

Oh yeah, they are also trying to bilk “fighters” out of $9.95/month for supposedly expert advice from a tatted up doctor that looks like every annoying guy at any MMA event ever.

In the opening trailer we see several shirtless, fat men running pained and barefoot through some vaguely Polynesian beach forest, at least one emaciated looking dude doing the same, and an unidentified Dan Severn jogging with a gray t shirt on.

The camera cuts to other exotic locations where actors perform the clunkiest sparring demonstrations you’ve ever seen: The world’s least flexible ninja doing Karate, two guys battling ever. so. slowly. with Wu Shu swords on the Great Wall of China, or something, while tinny-sounding sword clashing audio is superimposed over the video. Wait until you see the thrilling Pankration demonstration or the two guys who don’t know what Sambo is, demonstrating what Sambo is.

The audition tapes contain one perfectly nice gentleman that says he’s practiced Kung Fu every day since 1970. As he prances around delicately, completely off balance for fighting at almost every juncture, take comfort knowing that, no matter how bad your day is going, at least you haven’t wasted 42 years of your life doing something useless every day.

Audition tapes and an appeal from Dr. Douchebag after the jump.

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‘Tarded Reality Show Concept of the Day, Part 2

Gracies
(Rodrigo Gracie [right] with great-uncle-thrice-removed-or-something Royce Gracie)

You think Fighting Fedor is a bad idea? Ho, baby. From a new press release on Reuters.com:

Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie have decided to co-produce a reality television show of mixed martial arts, combined with the Gracie Jiu Jitsu flavor, and a little drama. [Ed. note: Rodrigo and Crosley are cousins, and grandsons of Carlos Gracie.]

The reality show is based on true life grudges. Imagine a famous face knocking on your door. He/she shows you a photo. “Do you know who this is?” You know exactly who it is. He/she is the person with whom you have a grudge to settle. Then, without a clue as to where you are going, you are whisked off to an undisclosed location where you will be trained by one of the world famous Gracie Jiu Jitsu family members. Did you know that the person in the photo is also receiving the same treatment? Did you know that now is the chance to “Settle Your Grudge?”

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Videos of the Day: Fedor Wins Combat Sambo Championship, Will Be Grand Prize on M-1 Reality Show

Fedor Emelianenko rolled through three opponents last Thursday in St. Petersburg to win the 2008 Russian Combat Sambo Championship. His first two matches lasted just 35 and 10 seconds long, and his final match against Stanislav Shushko (who had a near-Hong Man-esque height advantage against Fedor) lasted a full minute. The video from that match is below. This is the third-straight year that Emelianenko has won the tournament, and fifth overall.

In other Fedor news, M1MixFight.com has posted a new preview video for an M-1 Global-sponsored reality show called Fighting Fedor, in which 16 MMA hopefuls will do battle for a chance to get their ass tore up by Mr. Emelianenko himself. I gotta say, this isn’t going to do much to deflect criticism that Fedor is avoiding high-level competition. The trailer even doesn’t mention if all these guys are even heavyweights (Update: it does, and they are) — or what channel this show might be on. But hey, great concept! The video doesn’t allow embedding, so go to M1MixFight.com and see for yourself…

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