(‘I drink gypsy potion during full moon.  Hepatitis gone now.  Is fine.’)

In a statement posted by Dream Fighters, Aleksander Emelianenko announced that he has left Russia’s Red Devil team under what he claims are amicable circumstances.  Of course, he also goes on to claim that he will soon be fighting in America again, so maybe we shouldn’t believe everything we read here:

I will say right away that there was no conflict between us. I asked the club president Vadim Filkenstein to remove all contractual obligations from me connecting me to “Red Devil”, as well as their obligations for me. Vadim was not against this. But we have also agreed, that as a promoter he will still offer me to participate in some events and fights, and I will review those offers. I asked Vadim to put me down for the next Affliction event, which will happen in the Summer, since I have the contract with Americans for three fights. Currently there is no concrete answer, since it is not yet known when exactly this event will take place, and who will be participating. But nothing is interfering with me fighting on such a big show in America.

Nothing is interfering with you fighting in America, Aleks?  Not even the California State Athletic Commission refusing to license you and then vowing that no other commission in the country would do so either?  Any of that ring a bell?

Gina Carano, her form-fitting yoga pants, and an extremely drowsy dog hang out with Shape magazine. Remember, girls — it’s okay to be you! Props to Showtime Sports.

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Courtesy of FiveOuncesofPain, here’s the new trailer for M-1 Challenge, which premieres on HDNet this Friday at 8 p.m. ET. Ten MMA teams from eight different countries competed against each other in a series of tournaments held around the world over the last year; the TV series shows how it all went down. Friday’s episode showcases the battle between Team France and Team Russia (Red Devil).

Something truly awful awaits you after the jump…

M1Mixfight.com has posted the results of last night’s M-1 Challenge event in St. Petersburg, where all three Red Devil Sport Club headliners walked away with victories. Amar Suloev scored a first-round TKO over Jacek Buczko, Roman Zentsov won a split decision over Daniel Tabera, and Aleks Emelianenko executed Silvao Santos, who came into the fight with an MMA record of just 1-0. Video of the squash match “Superfight” is above, and full results are after the jump.

(Yes, they’re available for purchase. Keep reading.)

— UFC 79, the IFL World Grand Prix, Yarennoka!, and K-1 Premium Dynamite!! gave us a week-long hangover.

— We became unhealthily obsessed with cauliflower ears.

— A championship belt hit the black market; profits will go towards buying an entire school’s worth of drugs.

— Floyd Mayweather Sr. and Wladimir Klitschko tried to talk some sense into the boy.

— Tiffany Fallon was gone in 60 minutes.

— In commenter news, Joe Lauzon and the lawyer suing Quinton Jackson stopped by to chat, 65 people (and counting!) had something to say about this video, and we were betrayed by those closest to us.

— And most importantly, we came up with a kickass idea for a movie called Red Devil. So far, a filmmaker named Roger has offered to direct, and we’ve made some promo tees. Buy 12 from the CagePotato General Store Presented by CafePress and start your own street team!

(The following is to be read in the voice of Don LaFontaine)

Two boys, whose lives took two very different paths…

One became a champion, adored by millions…

The other, a thief who’s never played by the rules…

But they’ll have to work together to stop a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top…

[Cut to montage soundtracked by pounding drums, with brief shots of car chases, sex scenes, and naked bathhouse knife-fights edited together faster and faster until it ends with the sound/image of a gunshot]

[Cut to shot of Aleksander Emelianenko, who holds a lit cigarette over a pool of gasoline, says "The devil never sleeps," then drops it]

Fedor Emelianenko and Aleksander Emelianenko star in…