By Nathan Smith

Earlier in the week Dana White stated that “whoever wins the most impressively” from the contests involving Mauricio “Shogun” Rua VS Brandon Vera and Lyoto Machida VS Ryan Bader would be deemed the #1 contender for the LHW title. After watching the events unfold the UFC’s decision remained even more of a cluster f*ck due to a devestating Machida KO and a hard-fought TKO victory by Shogun. Even before Dana White stepped to the podium for the post-fight press conference, he announced LIVE just prior to the conclusion of the UFC on FOX 4 festivities telecast, that Lyoto Machida held the golden ticket.

By the time DW made his way to the dias for the post-fight press conference, the announcement had already spread across the MMA universe but he did say – during the media frenzy – that Machida “wants it bad.” The Dragon earned a convincing KO victory against a very tough competitor. Ryan Bader’s evening ended when he charged forward and ran directly into a perfectly-timed and placed right hand counter by Machida. Good night Irene.

I get what he’s trying to say, but it’s a stretch to call his tilt with Okami a “date”

Perhaps it’s pointless to write an aftermath article for an Anderson Silva fight anymore. Not necessarily because he hasn’t lost since 2006, but rather, because Anderson Silva summed up his dominance of the middleweight division perfectly himself. After his victory over Yushin Okami last night, Kenny Florian asked Anderson Silva if there’s anyone out there he would like to fight next. His response? “My clone”.

If the idea of multiple Anderson Silvas wasn’t somehow reminiscent of the plot of Terminator, I’d agree with him. Other than a rematch with Dan Henderson (if the money is right) or a rematch with Chael Sonnen (if he can get past Brian Stann), who else is out there for him? Or rather, who else at middleweight?

This doesn’t mean that Yushin Okami doesn’t deserve credit for his performance. If Yushin Okami had any chance of beating Anderson Silva, it was going to involve getting Silva on his back and avoiding submissions. Okami started out well enough, pushing Silva into the cage and clinching with the far superior striker. The only problem was that Okami was completely unable to take Silva down. After eating a head kick at the end of the first round, it was only a matter of time before the gun-shy challenger got caught again.

(Benavidez must be standing on the stack of cash he gave Nelson Hamilton before the fight)

Well WEC 50: Cruz vs. Benavidez II is in the books and in usual WEC fashion, the card didn’t disappoint.

The fact that six out of 10 fights on the card went to the judges’ scorecards is a testament to the WEC matchmaker Sean Shelby’s adeptness, because even the bouts that went the distance were wars of attrition in which both fighters left everything in the cage.

A few up-and-comers climbed further up the title contention ladder while a few others dropped a few rungs down, but none of the fights were disappointing.
The only real question mark of the show was which fights the judges were watching as they seem to have decidedly different opinions on who won a few of the bouts.

In the main event of the evening, bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz controlled the majority of action, possibly losing two rounds of the five round title affair to challenger Joseph Benavidez. Benavidez landed a handful of power shots throughout the bout, but it was Cruz’s takedowns that were the real deciding factor in the fight.

Personally, I had the fight at 49-46 for Cruz, but it arguably could have gone 48-47 depending on how you look at round two. For Nelson "Doc" Hamilton to score the the bout 48-47 for Benavidez it makes me wonder if he was watching America’s Got Talent on his iPhone instead of watching the fight.

("I know people been saying Alistair looks like a completely different fighter these days, but damn …")

Though it sounds like a crazy dream, it’s very close to becoming reality: Alistair Overeem, here in America, poised to actually defend the Strikeforce heavyweight title he won more than two years ago. Would it be wrong to admit – given the company’s recent track record – that leading up to this show we halfway expected Overeem to pop positive for PEDs, get pulled from tonight’s main event and send Strikeforce skidding into an Affliction-style tailspin of death and despair? Luckily, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Thanks, Missouri Office of Athletics.

Instead, the bell may have unexpectedly tolled for another fledgling MMA promotion today. With that little debacle now in the books, we shift our focus to St. Louis, where "Heavy Artillery" kicks off at 7 p.m. PST. We’ll be live shortly thereafter. Remember to hit refresh early and often to keep the page current.

(Kaplan/Roop is easily going to be Fight of the Night. And Dana went to MIT. Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.com)

Spoilers after the jump…

(Much like Bob Reilly, Nick Diaz is very interested in agriculture.)

In a bit of news that escaped our notice due to all the UFC 97 build-up and letdown, but is all too appropriate for today’s date (4/20, get it?), Nick Diaz reportedly tested clean following his TKO victory over Frank Shamrock at Strikeforce in San Jose.  The California State Athletic Commission’s Bill Douglas confirmed the news, saying that Diaz “was fine,” and adding that the test also checked for cleansing agents.

Does that mean that Diaz was jerking our collective chain about smoking weed up until the fight and using “herbal cleansers” to remove any trace from his system before the test, or does it just mean that Diaz has the hookup on the best herbal cleansers around?  If we had to speculate (and we don’t, but we will, because that’s the kind of thing we do), we’d say it’s the latter.  The world where Nick Diaz lies about his weed consumption is just not a world we want to live in.

So now who feels like a little bitch?  Answer: the CSAC.  Diaz beat them and Frank Shamrock all in one weekend.  That’s a moral victory for potheads everywhere.  It’s also enough to make you wonder about how effective the drug-testing system is in catching users of actual performance-enhancers.  If they can’t nail Diaz, who laid out his plan for beating the test beforehand, can they reliably catch steroid-users?

(A tough night in so many different ways. Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Even our supercomputer had trouble dealing with the data from a bizarre main event at UFC 97.  We had to hit it with a broomstick a couple times just to keep it chugging.  Not a great Saturday night for the UFC, but at least it’s over now.  Let’s see who’s up and who’s down.

Anderson Silva -129
Against Cote, the computer was willing to cut him some slack based on past performances.  But two lackluster showings in a row, followed by an inability or unwillingness to comprehend why fans might have been unsatisfied, that equals a big drop.  Is this the Silva we can look forward to from now on?

Thales Leites -176
You get the opportunity of your lifetime and spend most of it flopping onto your back?  We think you’re going to regret that decision.  How Leites thought this strategy might yield a victory is a real mystery.  What the UFC can do with him now is another.

(Photo courtesy of Esther Lin at AllElbows.com. You might also want to check out "Cyborg" Santos’s reaction to missing weight. Does that seem like a woman who is even a little bit sorry?)

The talking is done, the agreed upon weights have been ignored, and the Stockton Heybuddy’s have been thrown out.  That means there’s nothing left to do now but fight.  All you lovers of crazy antics needn’t worry though, because if there’s one thing that’s almost guaranteed in a bout between Frank Shamrock and Nick Diaz it’s poor sportsmanship.  

We’ll be liveblogging all the action tonight, so grab a cold one, make sure your CAPS LOCK key is disengaged (you know who are you are) and let’s all jump right in and have ourselves a time.  Remember to hit refresh often.  We’ll get started any minute now.

(Do you have to be so smug about my misfortune, Henderson? Photo courtesy WEC.tv)

Potato Nation, let me level with you here.  The old Gambling Addiction Enabler had himself one hell of a bad night on Sunday.  As in, he has spent all day talking himself out of cutting his wrists with shards of the beer bottle he smashed against the wall just after Jeff Curran lost.  The fact that this horrible gambling outing came after his great success at UFC Fight Night 18, that just makes it hurt so much more.  The highs are high indeed, and the lows so miserably low.  The Snoop Dogg posters I bought with my UFC 96 winnings, they mock me even as I write these words.  

On to the sad particulars, and let’s see if we can’t learn from this disaster.

The Bet: $20 on Shane Roller
The Result: Lost, due to possibly bullshit stoppage
Thoughts: I refuse to beat myself up for this bet.  Roller had Henderson hurt early and nearly finished him with a guillotine.  Alas, it wasn’t to be.  I have to admit, this fight does make me rethink my betting philosophy for WEC events.  When two relatively inexperienced guys both drop each other within the first two minutes of the fight, picking the winner is basically a crapshoot.  Lesson learned?

(What an interesting range of emotions in this photo.  Courtesy UFC.com.)

The "may not be broadcast" portion of undercard went down already in Nashville for tonight’s UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann event.  Results are after the jump, so only click if you want to spoil it for yourself.  You’ve been warned…

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

It’s a lovely spring day in Columbus, Ohio and the streets of the Arena District are teeming with fans eager to find out, can Keith Jardine really continue his streak of ruining every good plan the UFC has, or will "Rampage" Jackson save him from the ethical quandary of a potential future title shot against his dear friend Rashad Evans?  We’ll be liveblogging all the action as it unfolds, so stick with us.  And when I say stick with us I really mean it.  God help me, if I find out you’re two-timing us with some other liveblog there will be hell to pay.

Before we get started, how about giving this a quick Digg.  It only takes a second, and you’ll feel better about yourself afterwards.  Remember to hit refresh often to keep up with the action.  We’ll get started any minute now…

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Another UFC event is in the books, which means it’s time again to see who’s up and who’s down according to the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system.  It’s kind of like Bob Reilly’s poll, only we admit it’s total bullshit.  And at least this particular brand of bullshit is more fun.

Diego Sanchez +123

“The Nightmare” proved he can cut almost forty pounds and still go three rounds at a steady pace.  That could be bad news for some other lightweight contenders, though it would still be interesting to see how he stacks up against one of the better wrestlers in the division.  Sean Sherk’s not too busy, is he?

Joe Stevenson -88

Another disappointing performance for Stevenson leaves us wondering where he can possibly go from here.  He just doesn’t seem to have enough in his toolbox to hang with the top fighters, and secluding himself in Victorville, which is not known for its elite training facilities, certainly isn’t helping.

Demian Maia +204

If you’re going to do only one thing, you’d better do it extremely well, and Maia does.  He forces another quality opponent to fight on his terms and puts him away with impressive ease.  Is there any middleweight not named Anderson Silva who can pose a significant threat to him at this point?

(Uh-oh…. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

With all the quick knockouts and ‘holy shit!’-style finishes at UFC 95 in London, selecting one for Knockout of the Night couldn’t have been easy.  

Evan Dunham and Dan Hardy both put their opponents away with a certain emphasis on unconsciousness, but it was Brazilian newcomer Paulo Thiago who earned the $40,000 bonus for his knockout of Josh Koscheck.  It might have helped that the uppercut which floored Koscheck came immediately after Joe Rogan criticized Thiago’s woefully inept striking skills.  It’s all in the timing.

Submission of the Night, also known as the Demian Maia Award, predictably went once again to Demian Maia, who made short work of Chael Sonnen using a a triangle choke he set up from the mount.  

And you guessed it, Fight of the Night went to the main event pairing of Diego Sanchez and Joe Stevenson.  It may not have been the most thrilling war we’ve ever seen, but it was longer than most of the matches at UFC 95, even if we learned everything we needed to know about how it was going to turn out in the first round.  Hopefully Nate Marquardt and Wilson Gouveia got a little something extra for their efforts too.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

We’re closing in on the start time for UFC Fight Night 17, an event whose fairly mediocre lineup threatens to be hopelessly overshadowed by the tornado of MMA controversy and news.  But no matter, there are free fights on and we’re going to enjoy ourselves, dammit.

Hit refresh often and don’t bring me down with your bitching about how Jeremy Stephens isn’t a main event fighter.  He is tonight.  Think positive!

(Don’t ask.  Don’t tell.  Courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

That’s right, people.  It’s F²T² time (Fight For the Troops, get it?  Thanks to commenter Rxdrug for the assist on that one) and I am ready to go.  The card may not be star-studded, but it’s a lot of guys with something to prove in front of perhaps the most testosterone-fueled crowd in recent history, so I have a feeling something magical could happen tonight.  Or, worst case scenario, we see some free fights.

Remember to hit refresh to keep up with the action.  I’m all hopped up on tacos and high-powered gas station coffee, so you do not want to mess around and get left behind when this party train leaves the station.

(That’s got to sting a bit. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

What’s the most anti-climactic way for a title fight to end? Okay, the second-most anti-climactic, right behind double KO via simultaneous cardiac arrest? You guessed it: stoppage due to a cut. That’s what did Bobby Southworth in at last night’s Strikeforce. As you can see, it was a nasty one brought on by one of “Babalu” Sobral‘s elbows in the first round. Before the second could start doctors waved it off, and just that easy “Babalu” is now the Strikeforce champ.

In other action, Kim Couture put her increased aggression to good use, while her opponent fought very much like we expected given her scared-soccer-mom appearance at the weigh-in. Duane “Bang” Ludwig earned a decision victory over Yves Edwards. And Scott Smith knocked Terry Martin out cold in just twenty-four seconds. Looks like there’ll be a Christmas at the “Hands of Steel” household, after all.

Full results after the jump.

(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.

Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don’t want the prelims spoiled for you…too bad. Just suck it up and deal.

(You just signed your own motherfucking death-warrant, Gugerty.)

After the jump, for spoiler-haters…

(The head kick. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly)

You didn’t see it on Spike TV last night, but the undercard bouts for Ultimate Fight Night 15 were worth showing up for all by themselves. Yours truly was Octagon-side for the whole thing, and when I wasn’t hanging out in Clay Guida’s dressing room (more on that later), I was busy being impressed by some UFC newcomers.

Dan Miller def. Rob Kimmons via submission (rear naked choke) at 1:27 of round one

This one was quick, with only sporadic fits of action. Miller jumped to Kimmons’ back almost immediately. Kimmons tried to defend and dump him off, but Miller wasn’t having it. After about a minute of absolutely no movement, Miller locked in the choke and Kimmons fell backwards ala Frank Trigg against Matt Hughes, then tapped meekly while the ref took his time about stopping it.

Mike Massenzio def. Drew McFedries via submission (kimura) 1:26 of round one

New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio was particularly impressive in his first-round submission win over Drew McFedries. He put his wrestling skills to good use right away, shooting in on McFedries and getting side control in the ensuing scramble. After McFedries recovered his guard and attempted a triangle choke, which Massenzio shrugged off, it was countdown to kimura time. Massenzio got to north-south and extended McFedries’ arm, forcing him to tap.

Alessio Sakara def. Joe Vedepo via KO (kick) at 1:27 of round one

The most brutal finish of the night also came in the prelims, as Alessio Sakara put his shin directly on Joe Vedepo’s chin early in the first. Vedepo was looking for the takedown from the start, but Sakara’s defense looked much improved. When Vedepo couldn’t get him down he consented to stand and trade. That’s about when the high kick landed with a vicious crack that elicited ‘ooohs’ from the crowd. Vedepo stiffened up and keeled over backwards. Sakara moved in to finish, but it was — to put it mildly — unnecessary.

(In Trigg’s defense, he had just gotten out of the pool.)

Sengoku’s “Fourth Battle” went down today in Saitama, Japan, featuring the long-awaited returns of Takanori Gomi and Frank Trigg, and the first round of their lightweight grand prix. In a non-tourney main event bout, Gomi faced 5-1 Korean DEEP vet Seung Hwan Bang — who should have been steamrolled by the legendary “Fireball Kid” — but Bang hung in for all three rounds. Eventually, Gomi’s accurate striking and control of the fight’s pace convinced the judges to unanimously give him the win. Trigg’s opponent was Makoto Takimoto, a judoka and PRIDE vet who came into the fight with a 4-4 MMA record, and as with Gomi, the fight was a little more difficult than it should have been. Trigg dominated the standup and inflicted major damage from top positions on the ground, but Takimoto nearly caught Twinkle Toes in a kimura in the second round, and spent a lot of the third on top; still, it wasn’t enough to prevent the judges from giving Trigg the decision after the fight went the distance.

The first round of Sengoku’s lightweight tournament held some surprises as three big names were unceremoniously bounced out of the competition. The HIT Squad’s Clay French was tapped in 31 seconds via achilles lock by former Pancrase mainstay Satoru Kitaoka, and jiu-jitsu ace Rodrigo Damm also suffered a first-round submission at the hands of Eiji Mitsuoka. Former IFL lightweight champ Ryan Schultz, who was the biggest favorite to win his first GP match, got his lights put out by a superman-punch from Cage Force champ Mizuto Hirota in the second round of their fight. Full results after the jump; videos to come.

(Arlovski climbs the cage after vanquishing the evil forces of Lay ‘n Pray. Photo courtesy of my Canon Powershot.)

Andre Arlovski def. Jake O’Brien via ground-and-pound TKO at 4:17 of round 2
It’s hard to describe how cathartic it was to see Andrei Arlovski triumph over the excrutiatingly dull, cheap-suit-like wrestling-tactics of Jake O’Brien. In the first round, O’Brien shot in for takedown attempt after takedown attempt, and Andrei sprawled on all of them. It didn’t matter that O’Brien’s success rate was nearly zero; he was going to stick with his one attack, come hell or high water, booing fans be damned, because if the match went three rounds, he’d probably pick up the decision. But in the second round, Arlovski was able to take O’Brien to the mat and started droppin’ fists. O’Brien had no answer, the fight was stopped, and O’Brien took his first much-needed loss. Arlovski’s back, baby — just in time to leave the UFC over contract squabbles.

Luigi Fiorvanti def. Luke Cummo via unanimous decision
Luigi threw the “Silent Assassin” all over the cage for three agonizing rounds. There really isn’t much to say about this one except that Cummo looked like shit. I don’t even mean his performance, I’m talking about his physical appearance. Living off a diet of bark and urine doesn’t seem to contribute to an impressive physique or healthy skin tone.

Josh Koscheck def. Dustin Hazelett via TKO (head kick, punches on ground) at 1:24 of round 2
This one was the best fight of the undercard, easy. Hazelett rocked Koscheck with a punch early, which freaked Kos out enough for him to start throwing wild haymakers. After the opening brawl, Kos shot in for a takedown, and Hazelett sunk in a guillatine choke that nearly ended the match. Kos shook out of it and found himself in a traingle choke instead. Luckily, the bell rang. Koscheck turned it on the second, catching Hazelett with a thunderous head kick that sent him (both of them, actually) to the mat. Kos went in for the kill with punches from the top and it was all over.

Diego Sanchez submits David Bielkheden via strikes at 4:43 of round 1
Sanchez shot in for a takedown right after the opening bell, and never gave Bielkheden a chance to breathe. He worked some strikes from the top position until he scored full mount and started jackhammer-punching him in the face. Bielkheden didn’t wait around for the ref to stop the action and tapped out from the abuse. For that, he earned CagePotato’s Bitch of the Night bonus ($5).

Jorge Gurgel def. John Halverson via unanimous decision
Gurgel had Halvorson on his back eating leather more than once, but couldn’t find a way to finish him. Still, the Ohio crowd cheered hard for their homeboy through the match and showed mad love after his hand was raised. “Ohio is my family,” he said. Awww!

It’s 3 a.m. in Connecticut, and by now many of you know that Chris Horodecki, the IFL’s undefeated wunderkind, had his ass handed to him tonight by Ryan “The Lion” Schultz. It wasn’t even close — Schultz immediately took Horodecki to the ground at the start of round one, and overwhelmed the Polish Hammer with some supremely savage GnP. And just like that, Schultz is the IFL’s new lightweight champ, and Horodecki’s flawless domination of the division is all for naught. Quick results from the night:

PRELIMINARY CARD
(Middleweights) Marcello Salazar def. Alex Cook via unanimous decision
(Welterweights) Brett Cooper def. Rory Markham via TKO, 1:15 into 2nd round
(Middleweights) Tim Kennedy def. Elias Rivera via KO, 2:00 into 1st round

CHAMPIONSHIP BOUTS
(Heavyweights, untelevised) Roy Nelson def. Antoine Jaoude via TKO, 0:20 into 2nd round
(Featherweights) Wagnney Fabiano def. L.C. Davis via armbar submission, 3:38 into 1st round
(Welterweights) Jay Hieron def. Delson Heleno via TKO, 3:59 into 1st round
(Middleweights) Matt Horwich def. Benji Radach via TKO, 1:58 into 2nd round
(Lightweights) Ryan Schultz def. Chris Horodecki via TKO, 2:51 into 1st round

Stay tuned for my full first-person recap of the night’s events. WAR LION!

MMA wunderkind Chris Horodecki tacked another win onto his unbeaten record on Saturday with a split-decision over Bart Palaszewski at the IFL’s World Grand Prix. Horodecki came out strong in the first round, hammering Palaszewski with sharp combinations and briefly knocking him to the mat, but the second frame was all Palaszewski, who dominated his younger opponent with ground-and-pound and a guillotine choke attempt that Horodecki managed to slip out of. This was the decisive final round:

It was the second time the two lightweights faced off in the IFL, the second time that Horodecki walked away with a close decision, and the second time that Palaszewski wasn’t happy about the result. (“I have no idea what I could have done to win a decision against Chris,” he said. “He looks like he was in a car wreck and I look fine.”)