Cholish estimates that after training costs, his paycheck from last night’s fight wasn’t enough to break even. Photo courtesy of his Twitter page.

No matter how gloriously cheesy the TapouT commercials try to make it look, life as a fighter is far from easy. Training full-time is extremely taxing on your body, promoters and fellow fighters alike can be shady, unpleasant individuals, sponsors try to stiff you, and because the pay involved is so low for most fighters, it’s all essentially just for the glory of saying you’re better at a sport than the guy across from you.

That’s why – in many ways – it should come as little surprise that UFC Lightweight also-ran John Cholish is walking away from the sport after his loss to Gleison Tibau during last night’s UFC on FX 8.

If you find yourself wondering who John Cholish is, you’re far from alone. After compiling a 7-1 record in the minor leagues – including a victory on the undercard of Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Silva – the Renzo Gracie product made his UFC debut at UFC 140, where he defeated Mitch Clarke by second round TKO. This would be the final victory of his career, as Cholish would then drop a decision to Danny Castillo during the UFC on FOX 3 undercard, lose to Gleison Tibau last night and retire from the sport. Another small fish in a big pond, whose career barely made a splash.

Perhaps fittingly, Cholish’s retirement may very well end up being the most significant part of his career. Cholish – who announced his intent to retire on Twitter shortly before the his fight – made it clear while speaking with MMAJunkie.com that the low paychecks that fighters in his position earn were his primary motivation for hanging up the gloves. Via MMAJunkie:

(Photo via Heavy/Fightday)

Shane Carwin never needed to fight. For the last 13 years, the former UFC Interim Heavyweight Champion has worked full-time as a design engineer, and he could have made that his entire life if he wanted to. But Carwin happened to be blessed with some extraordinary physical gifts — a level of athleticism that helped him become the NCAA Division II wrestling heavyweight national champion in 1999 while competing for Western State Colorado University, and the kind of eerie, inhuman punching-power that made him one of the most intimidating heavyweights in MMA history.

Unfortunately, Carwin’s supersonic rise to the top was derailed just as quickly as it began, first by a failed challenge against unified champion Brock Lesnar at UFC 116 — with Carwin eating his first career loss thanks to Lesnar’s unexpected resilience and a poorly-timed adrenaline dump — and then by a seemingly-endless series of injuries and surgeries. Inactive since his June 2011 decision loss to Junior Dos Santos, Carwin announced his retirement yesterday evening with a simple message on twitter: Officially retired 2day:-) thank you to my family, friends and fans! #dreambig GOD BLESS!!!

Even before he entered the UFC, Carwin was something of an urban legend, a spook story that MMA heavyweights told their kids at night. Making his professional debut in October 2005, Carwin’s first eight fights all ended in first-round stoppage victories, half by chokes, half by way of his enormous fists. During one stretch in 2006-2007, he stopped three consecutive opponents in the first minute of the fight.

In 2008, Carwin got his well-deserved invite to the UFC, where he faced Christian Wellisch at UFC 84. Here’s what happened:

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

(Yeah, we’d miss this kind of thing too. Photo via Getty Images.)  

Alright, this is getting ri-goddamn-diculous.

Less than a fortnight ago, we dropped the official ban hammer on fighters announcing their retirement from the sport, then immediately unretiring. Aside from the fact that most of these so-called “retirements” last less time than the average hangover, the fighters who usually pull this bait-and-switch tend to look anything but “revitalized” or “renewed” upon returning. In most cases, it is quite the opposite.

And the latest offender of our ban? Former Strikeforce light heavyweight and semi-rehabilitated former bastard Mike Kyle, who announced his retirement from the sport following a first round submission loss to Gegard Mousasi in January. As in January of this year. One would think it would take a mighty fine offer against a well known opponent to draw Kyle out of retirement so quickly. One would be wrong, as it was announced recently that Kyle will be squaring off against fellow Strikeforce vet Valentijn Overeem in a heavyweight contest in May. Details via MMAJunkie:

A heavyweight bout between former Strikeforce fighters Mike Kyle (19-9-1) and Valentijn Overeem (32-30) is set for Championship Fighting Alliance’s 11th event, which is slated for May 24 at BankUnited Center in Coral Gables, Fla. 

We haven’t been this excited for a scrap between two aging lower-tier fighters since the Shamrock/Freeman superfight was announced. Any naysayers out there?

(Undeniable proof that Stefan Struve is a reptilian shape-shifter. / Photo via Getty Images)

In the world of combat sports, there’s nothing sadder than a fighter who doesn’t know when to quit — who continues to risk his body and brain for diminishing paychecks, long after the fight business has chewed him up and spat him out. So in way, the recent news of Christian Morecraft’s retirement should be considered a happy ending, because at least he won’t end up a penniless vegetable. It’s the little victories, folks.

After kicking off his career with six consecutive first-round victories competing in Massachusetts for Reality Fighting and CFX, Christian Morecraft entered the UFC in 2010, where the 26-year-old heavyweight prospect went 1-3, including a submission victory over Sean McCorkle, and knockout losses against Stefan Struve, Matt Mitrione, and Pat Barry. Morecraft’s slugfest against Barry picked up Fight of the Night honors at UFC on FX 1, but he never returned to the Octagon. In fact the last bit of news we heard about him was when he picked up a drunk driving charge in September.

Yesterday, Morecraft posted the following on his Facebook page:

(Okay, okay,okay, *you* can do whatever you want, Aleks. Just stop looking at us like that.) 

Earlier today, it was announced that former PRIDE star and perpetual blue-balled can crusher, Aleksander Emelianenko, had signed a multi-fight deal with the Russian organization ProFC. Which would be fine, had Emelianenko not announced his retirement from the sport three months earlier after being shitcanned by M-1 Global. Many of you are probably wondering why we are wasting our time poking fun at a long-since relevant Emelianenko brother when we could be, I dunno, predicting who is most likely to test positive for quaaludes at UFC 159, but Aleks’ recent revelation highlights a growing problem amongst MMA fighters: understanding what the term “retirement” is supposed to mean.

Look, we get it. Everyone from Michael Jordan to Muhammad Ali have announced their retirement from their respective sports in the past, only to recant shortly thereafter. It’s understandable to a degree, especially in the fight game. A guy suffers a couple tough losses, begins to fear for his own health, and decides that it is in his best interest — as well as his family’s — to call it a career before he suffers an injury he cannot come back from. Then, after adjusting to the stale, mundane existence that constitutes the lives of most non-fighters, he begins to convince himself that he’s always had “it,” but has just been held back by issues in his training camp, at home, in their own mind etc. — issues which are now completely behind him. If only it were that simple.

(Insert whatever version of a “Ground-n-Pound” sex joke you see fit here.)

When UFC Hall of Famer Mark Coleman stormed onto the mixed martial arts scene in 1996 following a storied college wrestling career and top 10 placing in the 1992 Summer Olympics, he brought with him an economic, workman style of fighting that would lead him to championship glory on his first night out. The event was the aptly-named UFC 10: The Tournament, and after beating the rights to the nickname “The Hammer” out of Moti Horenstein in his very first fight (an agreement that Moti never honored), Coleman would take out veteran Gary Goodridge and UFC 8 tournament winner Don Frye in back-to-back fights to claim the tournament championship. Coleman would repeat this feat in even more dominant fashion at UFC 11 and would unify the Heavyweight and Superfight Championships at UFC 12 the following year by choking out fellow scary wrestler Dan Severn. With the victory, Coleman’s legacy as one of the sport’s pioneers was all but written in the history books.

But Coleman didn’t stop there. Over the next 14 years, Coleman would not only popularize but would be dubbed “The Godfather” of the wrestling-based, “ground-n-pound” attack that would lead him to a PRIDE openweight championship in 2000 and a list of victories over the likes of Mauricio Rua, Stephan Bonnar, and Igor Vovchanchyn to name a few. But as all good things must come to an end, so must the legendary career of the now 48 year-old Coleman. Although he hasn’t fought since his 2010 submission loss to Randy Couture — a bout that would mark the first Hall of Famer vs. Hall of Famer fight in UFC history — Coleman has decided to officially announce his retirement from the sport as of yesterday. “The Hammer,” who is scheduled to undergo hip surgery next week (because that’s what old people do, amiright? *self-fives*), posted the following on his Facebook:

Total Hip replacement next Monday. Ouch.

The hammer is done fighting. I know been done. Just looking for some prayers.

i thank everyone who will help me get through this. Have to pay to play sometimes. Only regret is could have worked harder.

Love you all live your dream.

After the jump: A look back at some of Coleman’s greatest moments, as well as one of his worst.

(Look at it this way, Keith, now you’ll have plenty of down time to figure out the air speed velocity of both the African AND the European swallow.) 

I come to you with a bit of mixed news this afternoon, Potato Nation. In a recent interview with MMAFightCorner, UFC/Strikeforce veteran Keith Jardine announced that he would be stepping away from the sport for an undisclosed period to address several lingering injuries, stating the following:

A lot of people have been pushing me to retire, I’ve been a shell of myself these last couple years. I’ve been saying I’m definitely on the shelf, I’m semi-retired, I’m definitely on the shelf right now.

…my approach right now is I’m trying to get myself healthy. And then once I feel like I’m ready to go out and to perform at a level I want to and shock the world, I want to do it. I got to do it again. I don’t care if I win or lose, but I just want to go out there and perform and be Keith Jardine which I haven’t been in the last couple of years. When I dropped to middleweight it was a disaster, it was stupid. It made everything worse.

As we all know, Jardine is considered by many to be one of the nicest guys in the sport, despite the fact that he looks like the kind of person who has an unfinished basement stockpiled with barrels of lye and a human-sized cage that he claims is for his pet Dodo. So first and foremost, we’d like to congratulate him for at least addressing the fact that he has not been performing to the best of his abilities in recent years. On the other hand, Jardine was never a world beater to begin with (his longest UFC win streak stands at 2), and perhaps his struggles as of late are a sign that the game has passed him by more than anything else.

(After Dana caught Hughes sleeping on the job yet again, he figured it would be better to just give the former champ a cushy office position where no one would bother him anymore.) 

Although former UFC welterweight champion Matt Hughes has been off everyone but PETA’s radar for the past couple of years, the MMA community has still been waiting on bated breath to see when the Hall of Famer would make an official announcement regarding his retirement for some time now. Hughes stated last October that he was “fully retired” but didn’t seem as if he had quite come to terms with hanging up his gloves just yet. That is, until earlier today at the UFC on Fox 6 press conference.

Along with the announcement of his retirement, Hughes also stated that he, like Chuck Liddell before him, would be accepting a front office position with the UFC titled “Vice President of Athlete Development and Government Relations.” That’s funny, here I thought the UFC was for the separation of church and state. *steals basketball and nails three pointer* 

Anyway, Hughes had the following to say while assessing his current role in the promotion he has called home for the better part of his MMA career:

It’s funny, the road God puts you on; you just don’t know where you’re going to end up. What started out as a hobby brought me to the UFC and here in front of you know. I love this sport, and the new position is the best way for me to stay in it moving forward. I look forward to using my experience and providing a perspective for both the UFC and the fighters, so thank you guys. 

(And when I say “bitch,” I mean it in the politest sense of the word possible.)

*takes a seat in rocking chair, lights up corn cob pipe*

You know, kids, there used to be a time when words like “retirement,” “marriage,” and “my totally real dead girlfriend” used to mean something. Perhaps it was just a simpler time back then, but when a man (or a woman that had somehow shoehorned her way into an office environment) gathered his co-employees around and announced that he was hanging it up, it was meant to be permanent. Bill Russell never came back. Vince Lombardi never came back. Pete Maravich tried to come back and dropped dead on the spot. Retirement was supposed to be a one way street, paved with early bird discounts, cheap medications, and eventually death. Sweet, sweet death. But then Muhammed Ali had to go and ruin everything.

*sets down pipe to chase Jehovah’s Witnesses down sidewalk*

In the past couple years, we’ve seen such notable fighters as Jamie Varner, Matt Hamill, and Chris Lytle announce their retirement from MMA. Of those three, the first two have already returned to the sport, and the latter has suggested that he would fight again under the right circumstances. And now, you can add UFC Hall of Famer Tito Ortiz to the list of fighters who feel they might have called it a career a bit early. In an interview with BloodyElbow, Ortiz stated that he would be open to the idea of coming out of retirement, but only once all of the injuries that have plagued his MMA career since ever were finally dealt with:

Right now, I’m only four weeks out of neck surgery, and then I have to get the ACL surgery. I still need to recover from that before I start thinking about anything, and if I’ll compete again. You never know, I may come out of retirement. It’s all about how my body recovers.

(Photo via sports.sho.com)

Following his first-round submission loss to Gegard Mousasi at Saturday’s Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine event, Mike Kyle reportedly told Ariel Helwani that he was throwing in the towel on his MMA career: “It’s not in me anymore. That was my last one,” Kyle said. Assuming that the 32-year-old AKA product keeps his word, Kyle’s overall record ends at 19-9-1 with 2 no-contests, competing as a heavyweight and light-heavyweight over the last 12 years.

How you react to this news will probably depend on how long you’ve been following the sport. If you’re a relatively new fan, you probably think of Kyle — if you think of him at all — as one of Strikeforce’s dependable space-fillers, who was always there when a guy like Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva or Fabricio Werdum needed an opponent. Kyle’s single greatest accomplishment over the last three years was his upset knockout of Rafael “Feijao” Cavlacante in June 2009; their rematch last year ended in a 33-second submission loss for Kyle, but the result was overturned due to the Brazilian slugger failing a drug test.

But if you’ve been an MMA fan for a long time, you might still think of Mike Kyle as a scumbag, a shameful black mark on an already nasty business. Here’s how we summarized Kyle’s greatest hits in our “10 Most Despicable People in MMA” list from April 2008, where we stuck Kyle at #3, between Nazi fighter Melvin Costa (#4) and UFC president Dana White (#2):

Bit Wes Sims‘s chest during their fight at UFC 47. Repeatedly kneed Justin Eilers in the balls during their fight at UFC 49. Poked Tsuyoshi Kosaka in the eye during a Pancrase match in October 2005. Poked Krzysztof Soszynski in the eye during a Strikeforce match in March 2006. Two months later, he illegally soccer kicked Brian Olsen during a WEC match, knocking him out, then punched him several times while he was unconscious, despite the ref’s efforts to pull Kyle off…

In April 2011, Dan Severn became just the second fighter in MMA history to earn his 100th professional victory, following workaholic journeyman Travis Fulton. The simple fact that Severn was still an active cage-fighter 17 years after his UFC debut was surprising enough — let alone that he was still competing at least four times a year while in his 50s, and regularly whooping dudes half his age.

Joining the “100 Club” turned out to be the last great achievement in Severn’s marathon combat sports career, which is marked by a pair of All-American honors as a wrestler at Arizona State University, an induction into ASU’s wrestling Hall of Fame, two eight-man tournament sweeps in the UFC (at UFC 5 and Ultimate Ultimate 1995), a UFC Superfight Championship title, and an induction into the UFC Hall of Fame. On Monday, Dan “The Beast” Severn announced his official retirement from MMA at the age of 54, leaving an astounding career record of 101-19-7. Here’s his statement, taken from dansevern.com:

“Another Chapter, Comes to a Close”

The number one goal that I set for myself in 2012 was to be finished with my Mix Martial Arts Competition career. I was attempting to do my own self-directed retirement tour in the last couple of years reaching out to only three people…Mark Coleman, Ken Shamrock, and Royce Gracie. I spoke to two of them directly (Mark, and Ken), and through representative (MGR) for Royce. It seems as though these matches will not take place for whatever reasons and my life now goes on to the next chapter.

(You can’t see his face from this angle, but we’re guessing it looked something like this. / Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click for full-size version.)

The stunt-journalism powerhouse known as VICE magazine has launched its own MMA site called Fightland, which features the kind of on-the-scene video profiles and thought-provoking prose that we’ve come to expect from that crew. In particular, we recommend their new interview with Jonathan Brookins, who was just submitted by Dustin Poirier at the TUF 16 Finale. Short version: We’re going to have to start preparing a “And Now He’s Retired” post for this guy, because his days in the sport might be numbered. Here’s what the former Ultimate Fighter winner had to say about his fateful meeting with “The Diamond” and the uncomfortable realizations he made that night:

“It’s not hard to make a career in the UFC. If you really want it, you can make it happen. I think I just talked myself of really wanting it. I don’t know if I talked myself out of it or if I really don’t want it anymore. That made it tough to keep going and to fight last weekend. I didn’t really have much fight left in me. I kind of hit a dead end. 

I definitely had my mind on other things I wanted to do and pursue. I just stopped believing in the fight business and stopped believing in what it was I was even doing. I just didn’t quite understand. There wasn’t much that I wanted about that (Poirier) fight…This quest to be a fighter has gotten to be frivolous, to be the wrong pursuit. I know it can be pursued the right way, but I know I’m not anywhere close to it. I’m not really down to live this temporary, right-now way of life…

Before the fight I came in a little bit overweight. Mostly because I was bounding around a lot – living in Oregon then New York then Montreal. But everything was real sporadic. So I was cutting weight, and I went to a bikram yoga class, something I do all the time. This was Wednesday, and the weigh-in was Friday. I started to get real dizzy after running that morning and sitting in a salt bath and then the yoga class. I got dizzy like I was going to pass out. By the end of the class, I was cramping up. My feet were cramping. By the end of the class I think I hit severe dehydration. My legs cramped up really bad. I couldn’t move. I was exhausted, like I was going to die. My neck, back, and chest all cramped up. I felt tired and weak. I started throwing up all night and was real sick.

A day after it was reported that Aleksander Emelianenko had been fired by M-1 Global due to repeated violations of his contract, the Russian heavyweight has announced his retirement from MMA at the age of 31. Emelianenko released the following statement on his Facebook page (translation via MMA Lives Here):

Dear fans,
I want to thank you for your support, for having supported me in spite of all that they say about me. Unfortunately, I will not be able to perform in the ring because of health problems caused by old injuries. Of course, as an athlete it’s a hard time. I am grateful to my fans and partners for their support, for believing in me, and I am grateful to my detractors. Your attitude always made me move forward and achieve new things. I realise now I was hit by a barrage of accusations and criticisms, not directly related to my job. Unfortunately, there will always be people who want you in bad situations to score points. I don’t want to comment on anything, explain or justify. Each of us in life does good and does bad – that is our nature. I think I did a lot for the sport and I hope my example has drawn a lot of young people to the gym. Otherwise, God will judge us all, in time. Now I want to give the publicity away. I want to take care of my health, my family, which I lost, and my daughter, who I love very much. Perhaps I will see you again. Thank you! Be well and believe in God!
Your AE

Tall, mulleted, and covered in Russian gangster tattoos, Aleksander Emelianenko in his prime was just as intimidating a presence as his older brother Fedor. “The Grim Reaper” kicked off his MMA career in October 2003 with a decision win over Assuerio Silva at PRIDE Bushido 1, and went on to compile a 6-2 record within the PRIDE promotion, where Fedor ruled as heavyweight champion. Though losses to top heavyweights Mirko Cro Cop and Josh Barnett stymied his momentum, Aleks was responsible for some of the most memorable knockouts in PRIDE history. Witness:

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

After over ten years as a professional mixed martial artist, UFC/WEC veteran Mark “The Machine” Hominick has retired from the sport, with a career record of 20-12. The news was announced by Hominick himself on yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight (which is co-anchored by Leeann Tweeden now? Huh.) As Hominick explained:

“I have a young daughter, I have another daughter on the way, and I think that’s the next phase of my life, to put focus into that. Moving forward, I’m always going to be involved in this sport, this is my passion, this is what fuels me, but I think…I haven’t been able to make the same kind of sacrifices that got me to the title fight with Aldo, and I think it’s more important for me to focus on that, and again, moving on with my life as a part of mixed martial arts from the outside, I guess.”

An Ontario native and disciple of the late trainer Shawn Tompkins, Hominick first built his name in the Canadian organizations UCC and TKO, holding titles for both promotions, and earning nine victories, all by stoppage. In March 2006, Hominick was called up to the UFC for its “USA vs. Canada” card, and did his country proud by submitting Yves Edwards by triangle-armbar in the opening fight of the pay-per-view broadcast. Though a natural featherweight, Hominick won his next lightweight match in the UFC as well, out-pointing Jorge Gurgel at Ultimate Fight Night 5.

Hominick then returned to the 145-pound division and spent the next four years competing for TKO, Affliction, and the WEC — as usual, making it a point to fire off a set of push-ups in the center of the ring immediately following every match in which he wasn’t choked out or knocked cold. For an otherwise soft-spoken, non-descript-looking Canadian dude, it was Hominick’s most dramatic statement of identity, a non-verbal way of telling his opponent and the crowd that he could do this all night if he had to.

(Photo via UFC.com)

For a number of reasons having to do with the sport’s culture, rule set and diversity of techniques, MMA simply is not as dangerous a sport as, say, boxing or American football in terms of brain trauma. That said, it is still quite dangeous and fighteres face a myriad of potential dangers in training and in competition.

Featherweight Eddie Yagin was just ordered to take six months off from MMA to let his brain heal. Many other active fighters conceal or ignore brain trauma and don’t retire or take the rest they need in order to hopefully have some quality of life as they age.

So when UFC bantamweight Nick Denis announced on his tumblr blog this week that he had decided to retire from MMA, it was bittersweet. Bitter because the international community had only begun to see how skilled and talented the twenty nine year-old was after two fights in the globe’s top organization. Sweet because, as he detailed on his blog, he made a thoughtful and proactive decision to protect what is left of his health.

One of hardest things for athletes to do is walk away, no matter their physical condition or age, because it means a forced change of identities. They have to find a new way to define themselves, a new set of activitites to spend their lives doing.

Denis seems at peace with his decision and confident that he will find new things to “obsess” over. We are glad and we hope so.

His written statement announcing his retirement is insightful, moving and inspirational. Read it and then go out and get started pursuing dreams and accomplishments that will make you worthy of a nickname as awesome as the one Nick “The Ninja of Love” Denis has.

“I would like to think that I don’t have an ego. Sometimes though, I think it might just be so big that it can’t be hurt.

I really believe in living life. I always tell people, quite casually, ‘follow your heart.’ I don’t just say it for the sake of having words come out of my mouth, it is something that I truly believe in and do. I couldn’t imagine living my life and ignoring my true feelings and desires, just for the sake of living a ‘rational’ and safe lifestyle. That is why I quit my Ph.D. in biochemistry to move to Montreal, train full-time and make my way to the UFC.

To me, it was the only available option. What other choice did I have?

(Clementi tangles with Melvin Guillard at UFC 79, a fight that concluded with an infamous rear-naked teabagging. Photo via CombatLifestyle.com)

After a 13-year, 68-fight professional MMA career, lightweight grappling specialist Rich “No Love” Clementi announced on Monday that he has retired from competition. Best known for his ten-fight stint in the UFC and appearance on TUF 4, Clementi most recently competed in Bellator’s Season 7 Lightweight Tournament, where he lost a toe-hold war to Marcin Held in the semis last Friday. And according to this Sherdog report, the aftermath of Clementi’s loss to Held was the biggest motivating factor in his decision to walk away from the sport:

Clementi told Sherdog.com that his left ankle had been injured for about two years before Held cranked on it in both the first and second rounds, with the final submission attempt also damaging his knee. Clementi recently underwent an MRI and says he will need to undergo surgery to repair the damage.

“My tendons are ripped on the outside of my foot, and because they have been stretched for so long, my socket is pitted and will have to be filled and repaired, as well,” Clementi told Sherdog. “I didn’t know, but I also found out I had ACL failure on the knee I had surgery on a few years back. [I will have a] 12- to 14-month recovery.”

(Godspeed, you strange, beautiful warrior. / Photo via Heavy)

His gritty decision loss to Forrest Griffin at the first TUF Finale helped turn the UFC’s fortunes around, and his most recent fight against Anderson Silva saved UFC 153 from possible extinction. The American Psycho shed his blood for the good of the sport, and now he’s gone.

It was confirmed yesterday that Stephan Bonnar will be retiring from MMA following an 11-year career, including a 15-fight stretch in the UFC where he went 8-7. It’s likely that he’ll be remembered more for his defeats than his victories — besides the aforementioned losses to Griffin and Silva, Bonnar also has the dubious honor of being an early victim of Lyoto Machida, a member of Jon Jones’s spinning-back-elbow highlight reel, and the last person to be defeated by Mark Coleman (ouch).

Still, it was a joy to watch him compete, and when he won, it was a triumph. I know it sounds cliched and pandering to talk about “heart,” “warrior spirit,” and “never-say-die attitude” when you’re discussing a fighter who was never able to come near a title belt, but in Bonnar’s case, those terms genuinely apply. He was one of the good guys, and his generosity with fans even extended to two-bit MMA blogs like ours.

CagePotato.com would like to wish Stephan Bonnar the best of luck on his future endeavors, and thank him for the years of entertainment he’s given us in the UFC. Please share your favorite Stephan Bonnar moment in the comments section, and check out the full video of Bonnar vs. Griffin 1 after the jump.

(See that there on the right? That’s Matt Hughes’s autograph. So this photo is relevant)

In a recent feature profile on him written by Iowa’s The Daily Gate, former UFC welterweight champion Matt Hughes says that he is “fully retired.” Hughes last fought in September of 2011, when he was knocked out by Josh Koscheck at UFC 135.

Up to this point, the farmer-fighter has resisted describing himself as retired even as Dana White suggested that he should call it a career. Currently working on his family farm and only occasionally training, Hughes says that he’s content in retirement because the UFC still “treats him well,” as they tend to do with their former champions in good standing.

“I’ve not announced my retirement, but right now it looks like I’m fully retired,” Hughes told the Gate’s Brad Cameron. “The UFC still treats me well so I can be retired. It’s just funny, when God puts you on a road, you don’t know where you are going. I have all the faith that he put me there, and I have to thank him from that.”

(Believe it or not, Columbia Pictures saw this coming some 8 months ago, and chose Kevin James to star in a movie about Konrad’s life.) 

Maybe it’s just me, Potato Nation, but recent events have led me to believe that I have stepped into some sort of alternate reality where up is green, foot is west, and Joe Silva apparently never existed. So maybe I should just take the confounding news that current Bellator heavyweight champion and undefeated powerhouse Cole Konrad is retiring from MMA to obtain a position as a financial trader specializing in milk products as sign that my suspicions are correct. Seriously, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

MMAJunkie has the scoop:

The Twincities.com report said Konrad, 28, is leaving fighting to become a financial trader at a Minnesota-based firm that supplies ingredients to the feed, pet food, food processing and chemical industries. Konrad will specialize in trading milk products. 

Plans to find a new champion are unclear at the moment. The news first was reported byTwincities.com and subsequently confirmed to MMAjunkie.com (www.mmajunkie.com) by a source close to the promotion. 

Of all the reasons for retirement we have heard MMA fighters give…this is a new one.

(He ain’t really old, just a little too old to be in the club. / Photo via VegasNews.com)

Like any great athlete with a long career, Anderson Silva and his team seem to enjoy toying with the hearts of fans with coy, contradictory talk about when the 37-year-old champ will retire. After originally threatening to retire at age 35, the Spider has had everyone from his boss to his manager opine since then about how long the UFC middleweight legend could and would possibly stay in the fight game he’s dominated since 2006. And now, Silva has gone on record himself with Estadao, saying that he’d like to fight for six more years, until he’s 43.

“I guess you can see more like six years of fighting,” Silva told Estadao. “I love what I do. The team that works with me does a fantastic job. I’ve never had a serious injury that took myself away from competition. So I think I have this a little while longer.”

Well, shit. Maybe Silva isn’t as aloof and carefree as we sometimes think. He’s one of the most financially successful MMA fighters in history and could conceivably go out on top in the next year or two, especially if he books that history-making super-fight with Georges St. Pierre. So it’s a bit surprising to see Anderson say that he loves the sport so much that he doesn’t want to leave it for some time. Maybe he’s going to take care of that unfinished Demian Maia and Thales Leites business. Or maybe he’ll get around to fighting Chris Weidman, before Weidman himself turns 43.

(“One way or another, you *will* be able to dodge bullets like Keanu by the time this is over.”) 

You may or may not be aware of this, but tucked away on the preliminary card of the upcoming UFC on FUEL 5: Struve vs. Miocic card that noone can seem to stop talking about was the long awaited UFC debut of a Swedish kickboxing legend by the name of Jorgen Kruth. A three time K-1 champion and two time World Muay Thai Council Super Heavyweight Muay Thai World Champion, Kruth scored victories over fellow kickboxing champions Ray Sefo, Vitali Akhramenko, and Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp before transitioning to MMA in 2009. He was successful in all of his first five contests, with none of his victories making it out of the first round.

After being forced to pull out from his originally scheduled debut against Cyrille Diabate at UFC on FUEL 2 due to a rib injury, Kruth was expected to grace the octagon for the first time against Brazilian body shot specialist Fabio Maldonado at the September 29th-scheduled event. However, in what may very well be an unprecedented move for a debuting UFC fighter, Kruth has actually retired from MMA less than three weeks out from his fight. The Swede made the announcement earlier today to the Swedish newspaper Expressen (as transcribed by MMAViking, appropriately enough), stating “…the last few years I have felt that I have not been there enough for my son, it’s been tough.”

After the jump: More comments from Kruth explaining his decision, and a video of him beating the shit out of Bob Sapp in a kickboxing match. And by beating the shit out of him, we mean kneeing him into submission. As he was falling back. With one of the first strikes he threw.

And yet another audience went home wondering why in the hell they passed up a trip to the zoo for that bullshit.

(How many times do I have to tell you people this? I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES!) 

My grandfather always told me “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear,” a statement that would in turn lead to a lifetime’s worth of cynicism. So perhaps it’s just my general misanthropy rearing its ugly head, but when former UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar released a video last night declaring that he was “never coming back” to the WWE, I was a bit skeptical. After all, Lesnar just returned to the promotion in April, and I may not follow the WWE anymore, but I’m pretty sure that Vince McMahon doesn’t hand out many five month contracts. For Christ’s sake, isn’t Ric Flair’s decomposing corpse still fighting for a retirement check that will never come?

Anyway, Lesnar released the video that awaits you after the jump, stating:

I came here and I accomplished everything that I said I was going to do. There’s nothing left for me here to conquer. I’m leaving the WWE and I’m never coming back.

(Just bide your time, Chael, he’s gonna walk right into that kneebar any second now.) 

The current betting line on Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen is downright insane.

Say what you want about how Griffin has looked in the octagon as of late (Seriously, do it. Here are a few adjective suggestions: sluggish, apathetic, hairy, manic-depressive), but even we couldn’t have seen this coming. When it was announced a few days ago that Sonnen would making his return to 205 lbs at UFC 155 against FoGriff after being tarred and feathered coming up short in his rematch with Anderson Silva, we expected that he would open as a small favorite with the former Light Heavyweight champ, if not even. Despite Griffin’s aforementioned lack of firepower lately, especially considering he was riding the TRT train for his last bout, Forrest is pretty massive for a light heavyweight, and you know, already beat Sonnen once before. There is also the fact that Sonnen’s last fight in the UFC at light heavyweight ended in submission (you know which one), and that Griffin managed to catch him with that exact same submission in their first, etc…

In either case, we were dead wrong.

Currently, BestFightOdds has Sonnen listed at an even -300 over Griffin, which must be based entirely on their respective performances against Anderson Silva, with Sonnen lasting roughly six and a half rounds and Griffin lasting roughly three and a half minutes. But those were a long three and a half minutes, you guys, like watching the puppy you got for Christmas fall through the ice in your Grandma’s pond and drown in slow motion…on that very same Christmas.

Needless to say, if this blatant disrespect doesn’t light a fire under Griffin’s ass, nothing will. We feel like we’ve typed that a lot lately.

Is that line as bad as we’re making it out to be? Join us after the jump for a good old fashioned head-to-head breakdown to see if our outrage is justified.

(To prove he still has “it,” Cro Cop conducted the entire interview from this position)

Fighters have to fight, we suppose. Ultimately, that’s the reasoning kickboxing and MMA legend Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic gave when he recently told USA Today that he wants to return to MMA despite retiring from the UFC after his most recent loss to Roy Nelson at UFC 137 in 2011.

“If you ask me, when I look deep into my soul, of course I would like to fight MMA again,” Filipovic revealed. “People don’t get it. Martial arts is my life.”

Cro Cop has lost his last three MMA bouts, all in the UFC, by either KO or TKO, and was 4-6 in his ten total UFC bouts. Cro Cop also fought two dozen times in the now defunct Pride promotion out of Japan, where he took part in one or two fights that you may remember. Filipovic is still fighting for the kickboxing organization where he first made his name, K-1, and most recently picked up a second round knockout victory over Loren Javier Jorge at K-1 Rising, which we’ve added after the jump for your enjoyment.

(No, Rampage, that’s not a white tiger! Bad Rampage! Down!) 

Can MMA fighters just start referring to these so called “retirements” as what they really are (an extended vacation), or do they simply have too much pride? I only ask because, after retiring less than twenty pay-per-views ago (that’s roughly a year in human people time), it appears that TUF 3 light heavyweight alum Matt Hamill will be returning to action at UFC 152, where he will be taking on promotional newcomer and Bellator veteran Roger Hollett.

Being that Matt is one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, not to mention hails from just a few towns away from me, I was initially excited to hear this news. Sure, Matt will probably not be getting his revenge (or whatever you’d call it considering he won) on Jon Jones anytime soon, but he makes for a great addition to any card, and produces good fights for the most part with the occasional skull shattering KO mixed in. However, upon reading over what BG (or at least who I assume was BG, being that I’m the only one who signs his damn posts around here) wrote when Hamill originally announced his retirement, I couldn’t help but reconsider:

Prior to Saturday night, Hamill’s only career losses came against former champions Quinton Jackson and Rich Franklin, as well as his controversial split-decision loss against Michael Bisping…But losing to a mid-level up-and-comer like Gustafsson (Ed note: How things change in a year, amiright?) was apparently the final sign that the game was passing him by. It’s rare to find an MMA fighter who hangs up the gloves before the sport has completely chewed him up. Hats off to Hamill for a fantastic career, and for knowing when to walk away.

Granted, Hammil stated that part of the reason he had decided to retire was due to a “career [that] has been plagued by injuries starting with The Ultimate Fighter and disrupted my training ever since,” so perhaps he has finally had the time to sufficiently heal up. That being said, what do you think of his decision? Will it go the way of Jamie Varner, or is “The Hammer” just setting himself up to get dicknailed?

(What?! You mean no more of this?! This isn’t happening. THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!) 

For those of you who didn’t have the patience, the cable package, or the right list of websites to steal last night’s UFC on FUEL event from, we are sorry to inform you that you missed out on one hell of a show. James Te Huna and Joey Beltran set the UFC record for most significant strikes landed within a three round light heavyweight affair at 206, unfortunately giving us cancer in the process. Te Huna also set a record for most significant strikes landed in one round by a light heavyweight with 71 in the first. In the main event, Chris Weidman made Mark Munoz look like Houston Alexander on the mat*, holding him to zero significant strikes en route to a beautiful standing elbow KO in the second round ala Steve Bosse vs, you guessed it, Houston Alexander. Apparently under the belief that Weidman had covered his gloves in smelling salts, referee Josh Rosenthal allowed the New Yorker to land about a dozen or more unnecessary shots to a clearly unconscious and exponentially bleeding Munoz, causing this writer to scream at his television in honest to God horror for the first time in recent memory. As is usually the case with a free card, last night contained its fair share of ups and downs.

But perhaps the most disorienting moment of the night (aside from the few seconds I thought we had seen the last of Mark Munoz) came during the post-fight show, which featured Jay Glazer, Chael Sonnen, and CagePotato contributor/future UFC HOFer Stephan Bonnar. When the three finally calmed down and Sonnen had finished stroking Weidman’s ego with the fervor of a Taiwanese transsexual prostitute, Ariel Helwani was able to snag a short interview with UFC bossman Dana White. After White announced the coaches for The Ultimate Fighter: Billy no-mates vs. Banana Benders, Helwani proceeded to ask about the futures of the fighters that sat just a few feet behind him.

White declared that “He hadn’t even talked to Chael yet” and that “Only [Chael] knows what he wants to do,” but the real bombshell was dropped when White was asked about Bonnar. After skewering, then roasting Bonnar’s dreams of coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter opposite Forrest Griffin over an open flame, White claimed that the last time he and “The American Psycho” spoke, Bonnar was considering retirement.

What followed was a heartfelt, if not mildly confusing speech by Bonnar that more or less confirmed this.

(“Well, back at the bottom again, eh Vadim?”)

Yesterday marked the end of an era, as legendary heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko announced his retirement from MMA following his knockout victory over Pedro Rizzo. As Fedor told RIA Novosti: “I think it is time I quit. My family influenced my decision. My daughters are growing without me, that’s why it’s time to leave.”

Fedor ends his 12-year career with an overall record of 34-4 (one no-contest), highlighted by a nearly four-year stint as the heavyweight champion of PRIDE, and notable victories over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (twice), Mark Coleman (twice), Mirko Cro Cop, Kevin Randleman, Mark Hunt, Tim Sylvia, and Andrei Arlovski.

Despite his legacy-damaging losing skid in 2010-2011 under the Strikeforce banner, the Last Emperor still managed to go out on top. Judging from his dominant performance against Rizzo — in which Fedor showed flashes of the speed and power that established him as a legend in the first place — he could have gone another five years beating up faded legends and local cans. Instead, he walks away with his health and his dignity intact, and riding a three-fight win streak since November.

Raise a glass of vodka to one of the greatest of all time, and enjoy ten classic video moments from Fedor’s career after the jump…

(And here we thought Canadians were afraid of a good old fashioned war.)  

It seems that lately it has become harder and harder to gauge what an MMA fighter means exactly by the word “retirement.” UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture has finally come to terms with his, whereas Jamie Varner apparently retired as part of an elaborate heist that involved almost immediately coming out of said retirement, picking up a couple quick wins in a small promotion, filling in as a late injury replacement against a huge favorite, and promptly screwing millions of people out of their hard earned money. And to think, George Clooney need the help of more than a dozen people to rob some measly casino. Chump.

According to the man himself, we might just see long time UFC lightweight Spencer Fisher add his name to the list of recently retired MMA fighters come Friday night, as he told Ariel Helwani that he’s “pretty sure” it will be his last fight as a professional. His reasoning was similar to that of Chris Lytle’s — desire to spend more time with his family:

I’ve been missing a lot of stuff with my family. It gets tougher and tougher as they get older.

Although “The King” has flown under the radar for the past few years, dropping four of his past five contests, he is without a doubt one of the more exciting guys that helped the UFC’s lightweight division rise to popularity following its reinstatement in the promotion at UFC 58, which coincidentally was where Fisher made his lightweight debut against none other than his opponent on Friday, Sam Stout.

It is perhaps the most fitting end to a career that one could ask for.

At what point in a fighter’s career is it considered cruel and unusual punishment to allow them to compete? Sure, Randy Couture fought until he was 47, and Dan Severn is still beating up any homeless person that accidentally stumbled into the cage for a pint of Guinness and a pat on the back, but those gents are simply the exceptions that prove the rule. Guys like Ken Shamrock, on the other hand, are doing nothing more than shortening their lifespan each time they step into the ring, and for what? An attempt to recapture some former glory, or a feeling of youth? We know it damn sure isn’t in the hopes of recapturing a title, but then again, a passion is a passion, and if an obviously past their prime athlete wants to continue fighting at the detriment of their own health, who are we to say otherwise? It’s up to the promoters to cut them loose, not the fighters, and as we’ve seen in the story of Scott Hall, sometimes it is these very promoters who seem unable to make that distinction.

We’re rambling, of course, about the reports that BJJ/coaching legend Renzo Gracie is preparing for a second run in the UFC. At age 45.

Now, we’re not here to bash a freakin’ Gracie of all people for wanting to give the UFC another go, but this just seems like a terrible idea in every sense of the word.