(Clementi tangles with Melvin Guillard at UFC 79, a fight that concluded with an infamous rear-naked teabagging. Photo via CombatLifestyle.com)

After a 13-year, 68-fight professional MMA career, lightweight grappling specialist Rich “No Love” Clementi announced on Monday that he has retired from competition. Best known for his ten-fight stint in the UFC and appearance on TUF 4, Clementi most recently competed in Bellator’s Season 7 Lightweight Tournament, where he lost a toe-hold war to Marcin Held in the semis last Friday. And according to this Sherdog report, the aftermath of Clementi’s loss to Held was the biggest motivating factor in his decision to walk away from the sport:

Clementi told Sherdog.com that his left ankle had been injured for about two years before Held cranked on it in both the first and second rounds, with the final submission attempt also damaging his knee. Clementi recently underwent an MRI and says he will need to undergo surgery to repair the damage.

“My tendons are ripped on the outside of my foot, and because they have been stretched for so long, my socket is pitted and will have to be filled and repaired, as well,” Clementi told Sherdog. “I didn’t know, but I also found out I had ACL failure on the knee I had surgery on a few years back. [I will have a] 12- to 14-month recovery.”

(The Simpsons Imanari did it!) 

Catch it while it’s still up, Taters.

Although most of us were too busy watching the resurgence of one Georges St. Pierre last weekend to even realize that a Bellator event was happening, well, a Bellator event totally happened last weekend. In the evening’s main event, UFC veteran Rich Clementi squared off against rising prospect Marcin Held in the lightweight tournament semifinals.

The match was rife with the kind of grappling exchanges that could make a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fan out of Seth Davis (although ironically, the amount of heel hook attempts alone in this fight would have given Rousimar Palhares an erection so strong that he would have had to hate-fuck your Mom’s cankles like a dog in heat to quell it), but it was the finishing toe hold that really caught people’s attention. It was undoubtedly the most effective use of the technique we’ve seen since Frank Mir fought Tank Abbott, so check it out before it gets taken down.

With his fifth straight win (fourth in Bellator) under his belt, Held will now face Dave Jansen for the right to meet lightweight champ Michael Chandler — who defeated Held by arm-triangle in Held’s Bellator debut — next.

After the jump: A gif of yet another Bellator referee sleeping on the job and allowing a fighter to absorb way more punishment than necessary, because that’s kind of their thing these days.

Highlights from Clementi vs. Sarnavskiy

With no competition from the UFC last night (well, no real competition, at least), Bellator took to the Sovereign Center in Reading, Pennsylvania to make a statement with Bellator 77. The main card played host to the quarterfinals of this season’s lightweight tournament.

In the evening’s main event, 20-0 Russian lightweight Alexander Sarnavskiy made his Bellator debut against UFC veteran Rich Clementi. Despite his creative, diverse offense, Sarnavskiy struggled early against Clementi, almost succumbing to a rear-naked choke at the end of the first round. Although he would adjust to end up making the fight very close, in the end Clementi won by split-decision. With the victory, Rich Clementi improves to 45-21-1.

In the co-main event, WEC veteran Dave Jansen finished a very game Magomed Saadulaev with a standing arm-in guillotine forty-one seconds into the third round. After a close first round, Jansen spent the second round breaking down Saadulaev with his ground and pound. Video of the entire fight is available after the jump.

Let’s get a few things straight before we even start to analyze this one: Yes, Cole Konrad picked up the quickest stoppage of the evening at last night’s Bellator 70 from New Orleans. No, that isn’t our way of saying that the entire card was full of decisions. And no, we aren’t lying to you.

But before we get to that, let’s talk about the evening’s main event. Despite having a heavyweight title fight on the card, the main event of the evening was the lightweight tournament finals between former welterweight standouts Rick Hawn and Brent Weedman. While the first two rounds were razor thin, the third round was all Rick Hawn. Hawn took Weedman down numerous times throughout the round and utilized elbows from inside Weedman’s guard. Weedman put together some late offense, but it was too little, too late. Rick Hawn will meet Michael Chandler next season for a shot at the lightweight title.

(Come to think of it, we’d watch this again.) 

Perhaps Melvin Guillard has made some DRASTIC improvements to his ground game since joining up with the Blackzilians, or perhaps he simply has some sort of autoerotic asphyxiation fetish, because the hard hitting lightweight recently told MMA Weekly that he wants his next fight to be a rematch against Joe Lauzon, whom you may recall, dropped Guillard and finished him with a rear-naked choke in just under 50 seconds of their UFC 136 bout. According to Guillard, the loss is the only in his career that he felt he truly should have won. Here’s what “The Young Assassin” had to say:

In the 10 losses I have in my MMA career, I haven’t rematched anyone I’ve lost to. Not once, I’ve never really cared for rematches because I felt they won, now I’ll move on. Right now, I’m at the point where this fight means something to me, I have something to prove against Joe Lauzon, so this is a rematch I’m asking for. Right now, I’m looking to watch the fights in Japan and I’m praying that he loses to (Anthony) Pettis because I want a rematch against Joe Lauzon. I don’t want to fight nobody next but Joe Lauzon. I don’t even care how it goes, I just want to see Pettis win and I want an immediate rematch with Joe Lauzon. Hopefully, I can get that rematch by fourth of July in Vegas.

Join us after the jump for a few more interesting musings from Guillard’s interview.

(Clements v. Travis Briere, end comes at the 2:44 mark.)

Aside from The Ultimate Fighter 14 Finale, December 3rd also features an interesting welterweight battle between UFC veteran Rich Clementi and up and coming KO artist Chris Clements under the Score Fighting Series promotion. And after doing a quick check-up on Clements, we thought he was a guy that was worth talking about, so let’s, shall we?

“The Menace” is a 9-4 product fighting out of Ontario, Canada who has collected all 9 of those wins by way of KO or TKO inside the first two rounds. He often trains with the likes of Mark Hominick and Sam Stout, because there can only be so many MMA gyms in that tundra known as Canada, am I right or am I right? *High fives self*

A little known fact about Clements: he is the man responsible for retiring UFC vet Jonathan Goulet back at Rinside MMA-Payback in November of 2010, the video of which is after the jump.

You know, stuff like this. Except moving

Last night, HDNet aired their footage from DREAM’s disaster benefit show, which took place last weekend. Most of you already know what to expect, as results were posted immediately after the event took place, but the fights are worth a quick look. During Aoki vs Clementi Frank Trigg generously guestimated that a half dozen fighters were mentioned as possible opponents for Shinya Aoki. To be fair, that’s about when we stopped paying attention to rumored opponents for Aoki as well. Unfortunately, we don’t have any videos from the bantamweight tournament semifinal matchups. If we find some we’ll get them up. Videos are after the jump.

All videos courtesy of Fight Video MMA:

Mark Miller wastes no time knocking out Nikolaj Falin. Props: MMATKO

Chances are that you knew about the United Glory Tournament Finals that took place yesterday in Moscow. It featured some pretty intriguing fights, was available on YouTube and cost less than ten bucks. Of course, many of you figured you could save your money and check Cage Potato this afternoon for some highlights and a quick list of results. Don’t worry, we got your back as usual.

The welterweight tournament, which began in October of 2010, came to an end with a scrap between Golden Glory teammates Tommy Depret and Siyar Bahadurzada. To those of you who have concerns that two teammates fighting each other would lead to a boring fight, relax and take notes. Tommy Depret gave current SHOOTO light heavyweight champion Siyar Bahadurzada trouble in the opening round, but once the second round started, this fight was all Bahadurzada. Bahadurzada used his superior hands and clinchwork to get finish off Depret. Yes, we have a video of this after the jump.

(Rich’s chest-tattoo is fascinating. He literally buried a pitbull under a rose garden.)

I just want you guys to know that this is the last time we’ll be reporting on the various opponent switches for Shinya Aoki at DREAM.17. If this latest booking falls through, you’ll just have to be surprised on May 29th, because at this point we’re as tired of this mess as you are. And yeah, it’s kind of cruel to be hatin’ on a disaster benefit show, but GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, JAPAN.

Aaaaaanyway, here’s the latest. After Antonio McKee was pulled from the event under mysterious circumstances, DREAM moved to the next name on the list to face Aoki, which happened to be (of all people) BJ Penn training partner and Junie Browning drinking partner Shane Nelson. Nelson turned in a completed bout agreement, but Shinya politely declined the match, which we kind of respect. Nevertheless, Nelson was awarded a two-fight deal with DREAM for his troubles. (Cash equivalent: 1/20th of one cent.)

(Celementi’s post fight interview with Sweden’s answer to Ariel Helwani)

I can think of a few good reasons that last weekend’s Superior Challenge 7 card may have slipped of our radar. With the juggernaut that was UFC 129 dominating the MMA landscape at the time, former UFC fighters vying for mostly-irrelevant titles in a far away land just didn’t seem to matter too much. Fast forward one week and things get slightly more interesting.

As this event marked the first time that the Unified Rules would govern MMA bouts in Sweden, one might have expected a smooth night fights set to the harmonic backdrop of “The Sign”. However, following decision losses in their respective title bouts, Jeremy Horn and Rich Clementi have officially filed protests with the Swedish Mixed Martial Arts Federation to have the results of those matches overturned.

By ReX “Go Panthers” Richardson

Well, Bellator rolled up into New Orleans on Thursday night, and there was incoherent speech, attractive women in small outfits, and some dudes got into a few fights. Bjorn Rebney made some interesting decisions for this one, since the show went off simultaneously with the first game of the NFL season, featuring last year’s SuperBowl Champion New Orleans Saints. At home. In New Orleans. This town is firmly behind their football team when they’re losing, and after a few winning seasons, it’s kinda impressive that more than a handful of people showed up at the Mahalia Jackson Theatre. (My guess is they’re either die-hard MMA fans or they hate America.) It’s pretty ballsy to put a card here this week, but Rebney’s father is the goddamn Winnebago Man, so if you don’t agree with him you can just fuck off. Also noteworthy is that there are no tournament bouts on the card, for the first time in 28 shows, but winners here will presumably show up next season in a bracket.

If you don’t mind listening to a play by play to something that went down two days ago, come on in and I’ll tell you about Bellator XXVIII. Special inside: the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu move you must try in bed!

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Those of you who had your FightPicker pools ruined by Rich Clementi’s second-round TKO loss at King of the Cage on Saturday night may have found yourselves drinking stale coffee in your squalid apartments on Sunday morning, staring out the dirty window at the stray cats stalking the dumpsters in the alley and wondering aloud, ‘How the hell did Clementi get beat by Quinn Mulhern? Who the hell is Quinn Mulhern, anyway? And why is my life so horribly depressing?’

The answer to at least one of those questions can be found in a UG post by “No Love” himself, who explained his sub-par performance thusly:

Let’s be honest — trying to predict the results of fights between guys you don’t really know is a fool’s errand. But we appreciate those of you who set aside logic and participated in MMA FightPicker last week anyway. I placed a respectable third in my pool (Contender Pool 10 #308 represent!), but was ultimately sunk by the upsets at King of the Cage: Vengeance. UFC vet Rich Clementi did his career no favors by getting TKO’d by young upstart Quinn Mulhern (video here), while Mike Kyle wore down the much larger Travis Wiuff with strikes until an exhausted Wiuff collapsed against the cage at the end of the second round. In the event’s title fights, KOTC heavyweight champ Tony Lopez picked up his 16th-straight win by finishing Tyler East with a triangle choke, while bantamweight champ Abel Cullum subbed Joe Coca via kimura in the first round.

As for the other action in last week’s pools, Alan Omer proved his status as a featherweight to watch by sinking a triangle choke on Paul Reed in the fourth round of their title fight at BAMMA 2, and dangerous Icelander Gunnar Nelson kept his undefeated streak alive by finishing Sam Elsdon in the first by rear-naked choke. Don’t ask me about the fights at Rage in the Cage; a couple dudes won by decision, and that’s all you need to know.

The top three players going into last week failed to pick up any chips (LOSERS!), allowing some new names to storm up the leaderboard. Currently in first place with 385 chips is Steffmeister, who must be a die-hard King of the Cage fan with at least a working knowledge of the British featherweight scene. Rounding out the top 5 are…

2) brade1584: 355 PotatoChips
3) Ciarán Parnell: 350 PotatoChips
4) Jokulgoblin: 275 PotatoChips
5) Aaron Rampey: 270 PotatoChips


They’re up there, but you can still catch ‘em if you beat some ass in this week’s pools, which focus on UFC 110 in Australia. Take a look at the questions after the jump, make your picks at fightpicker.cagepotato.com, and stay tuned because our first prize pools are launching this week. Thrilling details to come…

Sure, regional events like King of the Cage and Rage in the Cage don’t have the same big-name caché as UFC and Strikeforce shows, but let’s be serious — it’s still dudes beating each other up. If you don’t find that entertaining, feel free to spend your weekend catching up on old episodes of Private Practice, you sick freak.

Where were we? Oh right, the fights this weekend. Set your DVRs, folks, because this Friday’s King of the Cage card — which is providing us with the first seven questions in our current FightPicker pools — will be broadcast on HDNet, starting at 10 p.m. ET. The show promises three title fights (at heavyweight, bantamweight, and flyweight), plus appearances by UFC vets Rich Clementi, Travis Wiuff, and Mike Kyle. Watch it live and you can be the first person to gloat when your picks come in. As for the BAMMA and RITC events, you’ll just have to trust us when we tell you the results later. Not to sound like a broken record, but please join FightPicker if you haven’t already, and if you’re one of the 1,660 people who have started FP accounts but haven’t entered any pools yet, it’s this kind of indecision and lack of follow-through that’s taking our once-proud country straight to hell.

Very important note: Even though KOTC has been advertising a featured matchup between submission artists Rich Clementi and Anthony Lapsley, "No Love" has announced that he’ll actually be fighting Quinn Mulhern instead. If you’re playing the game this week, please re-visit your pools and edit accordingly.

("Sorry I screwed up your pools, guys. LOL, no I’m not!" Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Between Chael Sonnen‘s domination of Nate Marquardt and Paulo Thiago picking up the Sub of the Night over Mike Swick, UFC 109 threw some serious curveballs at us. Most people who participated in MMA FightPicker this week whiffed hard at those curveballs. But some of you dinged ‘em out the park. After the first official week of FightPicker play, we’d like to shout out the current point-leaders:

1) Ciarán Parnell: 350 PotatoChips
2) Andrew Palmer: 255 PotatoChips
3) OctoAbortion: 250 PotatoChips

Please, Ciarán, e-mail us at feedback@cagepotato.com and tell us how exactly you have a hundred-point lead on the next closest competitor, this early in the game. There might be a free t-shirt in it for you.

And now for the shameless gloating part of this post. After BG and BF went head-to-head in a Palooka Pool, I (BG) am proud to say my picks were on-point enough to tie for first-place (!!!), while dickface over there tied for fourth. The other winners of Palooka Pool 30 #173 were: nine one siccness, Steve Rowbotham, James Cowley, Michael Aitken, GSPs Swollen Elbow and Torn Groin and Tim Prothero. Take an e-bow, fellas. And I should mention that there was one genius in the pool named James Berberich who managed to get every question wrong. I feel sorry for your mother, bro.

For those who fell short with their UFC 109 picks, you just have to dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Here’s what’s going on in FightPicker this week…

("No Love" has "No Job." Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Now that the country is losing jobs at a rate of almost 20,000/day, it was only a matter of time before the UFC’s contracted fighters began to feel the crunch. FiveOuncesofPain reports that the following fighters have been released from their contracts — and will now enter the worst job market since World War II:

— Rich Clementi was dropped shortly after tapping to a guillotine choke in the first round of his match with Gleison Tibau at Saturday’s UFC Fight Night 17. It was his second-consecutive loss in the Octagon, following a previous decision loss to Gray Maynard at UFC 90. This is actually the third time that the UFC has given Clementi his walking papers; he was also dropped after losing his first UFC fight to Yves Edwards in 2003, and again after going 1-2 following his stint on TUF 4 in 2006-7.

— Luigi Fioravanti was also cut after UFC Fight Night 17. Though he was able to score a decision win over Brodie Farber at "Fight for the Troops" in December, his first-round TKO loss to Anthony Johnson on Saturday was his fourth loss in his last six UFC appearances.

(Why have I never heard about this magazine before? It’s like it was made just for me!)

Diego Sanchez, who recently announced his intention to drop to lightweight, will reportedly take on Joe Stevenson in his first 155-pound match, according to Sherdog. Sanchez has verbally agreed to the fight, which would take place at UFC 95 (February 21st, London), though bout agreements have yet to be signed.

It’s somewhat strange that the TUF 1 middleweight winner is dropping in weight after two impressive victories (over David Bielkheden and Luigi Fioravanti), and somewhat unfortunate that Stevenson may be heading for his third loss in four fights. "Daddy" could probably use a tune-up match after being choked out by Kenny Florian last month. But with BJ Penn chasing a welterweight belt, now might be the best time for Sanchez to get all up in the lightweight mix. For the record, Florian would welcome a rematch with Sanchez, who beat him at the TUF 1 finale. In other UFC news…

Reminder: Bounce to Spike TV directly after WEC 37 tonight for the final two episodes of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir, which will feature all four of the season’s semi-final matchups. They will be:

Efrain Escudero vs. Junie Browning (LW)
Phillipe Nover vs. George Roop (LW)
Ryan Bader vs. Eliot Marshall (LHW)
K-Sos vs. Vinny Magalhaes (LHW)

Some TUF fans claim to have already seen a promo on Spike that inadvertently spoiled the results. (Only click this link if you dig potential spoilers.) In other UFC news…

— MMA Mania reports that a lightweight bout between Kurt Pellegrino and Rob Emerson is in the works for Ultimate Fight Night 17 (February 7th, Las Vegas). Both men are coming off wins, with Pellegrino most recently defeating Thiago Tavares by decision at UFC 88, and Emerson scoring a 12-second knockout of Manny Gamburyan at UFC 87. Emerson has gone 6-0 with one no-contest in his last seven fights — not bad for a guy who started his MMA career with a 2-6 record.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

In this UFC 90 hype video Rich “No Love” Clementi claims that he was the only lightweight willing to step up and fight Gray Maynard, and he did so because he’s the type who “looks for challenges and adversity.” No disrespect to Maynard here, but since when did he become the guy who makes all other UFC lightweights run and hide? What, he holds Frankie Edgar down for three rounds and now we’re supposed to believe that the UFC has trouble finding an opponent for him?

This is the kind of thing that makes you wonder if matchmaker Joe Silva isn’t feeding all the fighters the same lines, like an unimaginative pick-up artist. Either he tells you that they’re offering you this fight because you’re the only one with the balls to take it, or else he says the winner gets a title shot. What’s weird is that those are the same pick-up lines I use. The results so far have been…mixed.

Check out the heavily edited and still kind of lame highlight clips of both Clementi and Maynard during this video. Notice how they include Maynard’s submission-inducing slam of Rob Emerson, but cut it before you have a chance to realize that he knocked himself out in the process. Clever. Also, is it just me, or are most of Clementi’s highlights not really so highlight-y?

According to the Pioneer Press:

Former Gophers wrestler Brock Lesnar, who is 2-1 as a mixed martial arts fighter, found out this week that Ultimate Fighting Championship would like him to compete next on a November card, but his opponent and site remain undetermined.

That November card (also known as UFC 91) will reportedly go down on 11/15 in Portland, Oregon, with a bout between Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson likely to be on the lineup. The most prevalent rumor regarding Lesnar’s opponent is that he’ll be facing Cheick Kongo. In other UFC news…

— Anheuser-Busch has tapped Chuck Liddell and Anderson Silva as spokesmen for Bud Light. Which is kind of strange considering both of them are nearly unintelligible without a translator.

— A lightweight bout between Rich Clementi and Gray Maynard is slated for UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago). Clementi has won his last six fights, including a submission of Anthony Johnson at UFC 76 and a decision win over Terry Etim at UFC 84. Xtreme Couture’s Gray Maynard increased his record to a perfect 5-0 with his unanimous decision over Frankie Edgar at UFC Fight Night 13 in April.

— Dana White will be appearing on A&E’s Mindfreak next Wednesday at 10 p.m. According to UFC.com: “With the use of a blindfold, a knife and a deck of cards, Criss attempts to teach UFC® President Dana White first-hand how to do a prediction of his own. Can Dana pull off a little magic with the help of the Mindfreak?”

(Decisions, decisions…)

Though the UFC has confirmed none of this yet, some strong UFC 85-related rumors are circulating that we wanted to pass along. The word is…

— James Irvin will indeed fight Rashad Evans, replacing an injured Chuck Liddell.

— The main event will feature Michael Bisping taking on Chris Leben. (Thanks for listening, guys!)

— UFC 85 will possibly be broadcast on SpikeTV. That would be enough to appease American fans — with four solid matchups on the main card (including Vera/Werdum and Davis/Swick), it’ll be at least as entertaining as an “Ultimate Fight Night” — but a show without a true big-name headliner could potentially slow the UFC’s momentum in the U.K.

We’ll let you know when any of that is formally announced.

Somewhat related: You think seven weeks is a short layover for Michael Bisping? Well, Rich Clementi is only getting five before his next fight. “No Love,” who just scored a hard-fought split-decision victory over Sam Stout on the undercard of UFC 83, has been booked to replace an injured Rob Emerson in a lightweight match against Terry Etim at UFC 84 (May 24th, Las Vegas). Clementi has won his last three UFC bouts, including submission victories over Melvin Guillard and Anthony Johnson, while Etim took his first career loss via unanimous decision against Gleison Tibau at UFC 75.

We know we’re an MMA news site, but occasionally we like to mix it up with something funny. So here’s a list of the 12 worst tattoos in MMA for your enjoyment. 12. Rich Clementi Ignore the unfortunately placed head in this picture and focus on the tat on Rich’s right pec. Cartoony tattoos are [...]

(Dana White, checking out Melvin Guillard’s junk.)

With this new interview for the Baltimore Sun‘s MMA Insider blog, Melvin Guillard joins Quinton Jackson and Frank Shamrock in the ranks of fighters who can’t even fake sanity when speaking in public forums. Read on for the interview’s highlights, where Guillard switches back and forth between delusional and incredibly fucking delusional:

On his moral victory over Rich Clementi at UFC 79: “He didn’t take my heart. I took his heart before he got in the ring. He was scared to fight me before he got in the ring…when I see him again, I’m going to fight him again…I went home for New Years and the places he wants to go, he wasn’t even there. He knew I was going to be there looking for him. He never showed up anywhere. As long as he keeps hiding from me, running from me, I’m winning the war every day…he was holding on like a scared little bitch [during the fight]. He was holding on for dear life as if if he let me go, he knew he would lose the fight…When I do fight the next jiu-jitsu guy, I hope they have a prayer for him — I’m not going to be so nice anymore.”

On Clementi’s “Suck It” gesture after the fight: “He put his nuts on the back of my head. When I catch him, I’m going to kick him in his [expletive deleted] nuts…My dad always told me if a man spit on you or slapped you, [expletive deleted] kill him. And if he put his nuts on my head on national TV, I’m going to [expletive deleted] kill him, period…as I’m getting up, it’s like he kicked me in the back of the neck, and it pushed me back down a little bit. So, I’m like, ‘What the [expletive deleted]?’ And, I jump up like, ‘No, he did not just put his nuts on my neck.’ So, that’s why I went after him like I did.”

On popularity: “I got booed before the fight, I got booed after the fight, but I’m still one of the crowd favorites.”

On the origins of his psychological issues: “Nobody is ever going to stand in front of me and beat my ass. My mom did that all my life so those days are over with.”