MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Rick Story

Injury Replacement Roundup: Akiyama Out, Bahadurzada in Against Thiago Alves at UFC 149

Talk about stepping in a turd and turning it into gold. Word broke late last night that Yoshihiro Akiyama suffered an undisclosed injury that has forced him out of his upcoming UFC 149 bout with Thiago Alves. To say that the MMA blogosphere entered a brief yet hysterical state of mourning upon hearing this news would be an understatement…until we found out that Afghanistan-born power puncher Siyar Bahadurzada would be stepping in as his replacement. Then there was much rejoicing.

Bahadurzada is coming off a quick and brutal first round knockout of Paulo Thiago at UFC on FUEL 2, the first stoppage loss of Thiago’s career. The win instantly put the welterweight division on notice, and a victory over Alves would further cement Bahadurzada’s status amongst the division’s elite. To be fair, Alves has been struggling a bit as of late, sandwiching a first round submission win over Papy Abedi at UFC 138 between a decision loss to Rick Story at UFC 130 and a most recent submission loss to Martin Kampmann at UFC on FX 2. Despite the fact that “Pitbull” seemed on his way to a clear cut decision victory in that fight, an ill-timed takedown at the end of the third round provided Kampmann all the leeway he would need to snatch up a fight-ending guillotine choke.

Alves should not have to fear the submission prowess of Bahadurzada coming into this one, as two of his four losses have come by way of submission — the most recent of which was a first round heel hook to Jorge Santiago at Sengoku – Sixth Battle back in 2008. What we’re saying is, expect a brawl, Potato Nation, because what appeared to be a decent scrap at first glance has now been updated to an early candidate for Fight of the Night and/or Knockout of the Night.

Speaking of injury replacements…

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Nate Marquardt vs. Tyron Woodley Possible for Vacant Strikeforce Welterweight Title

Nate Marquardt Free CagePotato
(Pictured above: The REAL reason Nate Marquardt got fired.) 

When taking a look at Nate Marquardt‘s Sherdog profile, we were kind of shocked to find that it has only been a little over a year since he last fought. Perhaps it was a result of his repeated delays when signed under the BAMMA banner some 6 months ago, but it feels like it has been a long time since we’ve seen the one-time UFC middleweight title contender in action. Like Gina Carano long.

And go figure, it all began with TRT. Because it always begins with TRT. After going 2-2 in his last four UFC fights, including a most recent UD win over Dan Miller at UFC 128, Marquardt was expected to make his welterweight debut against Rick Story at the main event of UFC Live 4. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he was pulled from the card at the last minute for elevated testosterone levels. He was subsequently ousted by the UFC and replaced by Charlie Brenneman, who went on to score the upset over Story and completely derail his hype train.

News broke in February that Marquardt had signed with Strikeforce and was expected to face Tyron Woodley. No date was set for his ever-elusive welterweight debut, likely due to the fact that the Strikeforce website developers hadn’t yet learned how to spell Marquardt and couldn’t afford to scan the Word document twice.

Well, ladies and gents, a date has finally been set for the return of “The Great.”

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Four Welterweight Bouts Added to UFC on FX 4 Card in June


(Yeah Dan, we’re stoked for the new Cung Le/Jean-Claude Van Damme movie too!) 

It looks like Demian Maia won’t be the only one making his welterweight debut in the near future.

Featuring a main event clash between top lightweight contenders Clay Guida and Gray Maynard, the UFC on FX 4 card is really starting to take shape, adding four more fights in the welterweight division last night. It seems a little odd that this plethora of fights have been added when the UFC on FX 3 card, which goes down two weeks earlier, has confirmed only two fights thus far. Then again, if we were in charge of matchmaking, Pat Barry would fight every weekend and Rousey/Caraway would already be booked.

But back to the welterweights. Yes, it appears that our buddy Dan Miller will be back in action at UFC on FX 4, and in fact will be making his welterweight debut when he takes on Ricardo Funch. Miller has not fought since his clusterfuck of a fight against Rousimar Palhares at UFC 134 that saw Palhares leap onto the cage in premature celebration, only to be talked off the proverbial tower by Herb Dean. Upon re-entering the octagon, Palhares was almost immediately KO’d by Miller, but managed to gather the few remaining marbles in his brain to pull out a unanimous decision victory. The loss was Miller’s second in a row and fifth of his last seven. But given Miller’s tendency to put on exciting fights, we don’t imagine a loss here will cost him his job. The same cannot be said for Funch, however, who has dropped all three of his UFC appearances to Johny Hendricks, Claude Patrick, and Mike Pyle.

Also set for the fourth FX card will be a welterweight tilt between submission specialist T.J. Waldburger and manscaping aficionado Brian Ebersole. Waldburger has scored a pair of brilliant back-to-back victories in his last two UFC appearances, leaping into a triangle against Mike Stumpf in September before notching a lightning quick armbar of Jake Hecht at UFC on FX 2: Kampmann vs. Alves earlier this month. He will be facing a tough test in Ebersole, who is riding a 10 fight win streak including three straight in the UFC over Chris Lytle, Dennis Hallman‘s balls, and Claude Patrick.

Nothing against Waldburger, but we’re kind of pulling for Ebersole in light of recent events.

And in other UFC on FX 4 news…

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MMA Stock Market™ — ‘UFC 139: Shogun vs. Henderson’ Edition


(In a way, we were all the “Screaming PRIDE Lady” that night. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin, MMA Fighting)

By Jason Moles

The suits on Wall Street keep whispering about a ‘Halloween indicator‘ and how now is not a time to sell; rather we should sit back and let our riches mount. Call it what you will, but millions watched UFC on FOX and UFC 139 and concluded the same thing: Most fighter’s stocks are rising steadily. Even if you’re not sure which is the true Fight of the Year from this weekend — Dan Henderson vs. Marucio Rua or Eddie Alvarez vs. Michael Chandler — you’ll know how to safeguard your hypothetical MMA portfolio’s worth after playing another round of ‘Buy, Sell, Hold’.

Stephan Bonnar: Buy

It’s hard to believe that any TUF veteran could take nearly a year off from the sport and return with the engine firing on all cylinders, but Stephan Bonnar did just that. The BJJ schooling he dished out was almost as surprising as his apology to Josh Koscheck for making those damn shirts. Even that wasn’t the most unexpected thing to happen; one judge gave the ‘American Psycho’ a 30-25 victory. Grab hold of any unclaimed stock before he starts getting big fights and Dana declares him “in the mix.”

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UFC 139 Aftermath: Party Like it’s 2007


Party Like a Rockstar also came out in 2007. Your mind = Blown. Props: Fox Sports

I’m willing to bet that more than a few sports writers have pointed out that four years ago, Dan Henderson vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua would have been just as worthy of main event status as it was last night at UFC 139. That four years later, we’re still willing to pay to watch guys like Wanderlei Silva, Cung Le, Urijah Faber, Stephan Bonnar and Miguel Torres. That last night’s event appropriately enough took place in Strikeforce’s old stomping grounds in San Jose. For that matter, I’m pretty sure you heard all of that stuff at some point from Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan last night.

I tried to avoid those clichéd observations, but they’re too appropriate to ignore. As fans of mixed martial arts, we’ve been waiting at least four years for a fight between Pride legends Dan Henderson and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua to come together. Yet for as long as we’ve wanted to see this fight, what we were given last night was worth every second of the wait.

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End of an Era: Honoring the Greatest Moments From UFC on Versus

By Jason Moles

Over the last 18 months, we’ve been lucky enough to get six live fight cards on Versus, completely free of charge. This past Saturday marked the end of Versus’s run as the “home away from home” for the UFC on basic cable. Not to worry, though: More free, live fights will be coming your way soon on FOX, FX, and Fuel TV. We thought we’d take a look back at the best of the best from the “UFC Live” series, but first, here’s how those sixty-five fights were decided: 24 (T)KOs, 15 Submissions, 23 Judges Decision, 2 Doctor Stoppages, and 1 No Contest.

Now let’s hand out some hardware, shall we?

Biggest Upset: Charlie Brenneman Beating Rick Story

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Martin Kampmann vs. Rick Story Signed for UFC 139 in San Jose on November 19


(The UFC is calling this ‘a potential Fight of the Night’)

A welterweight scrap between Martin Kampmann and Rick Story has been added to UFC 139, which is scheduled for November 19 at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, California.

The UFC announced the bout Wednesday.

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Rick Story Just Wants Somebody to Bang With

Charlie Brenneman UFC on Versus 4 MMA photos
(It was at that moment that Rick noticed Charlie’s ‘Carpe Diem’ tramp-stamp, and terror washed over him like a warm, rancid wave.)

Wrestling — it’s all fun and games until you wind up on the wrong end of it. That’s the reality for Rick Story, whose six-fight UFC win streak was snapped by the takedown-happy Charlie Brenneman last month at UFC on Versus 4.  Now, Story — a former collegiate wrestler himself — is channeling his inner Dan Hardy, asking for a follow-up opponent who will just stand in front of him and throw hands. And as he told MMAWeekly, he even has a guy in mind:

(Dong Hyun Kim) just recently came off a loss, like myself. And he’s still a Top 10 (fighter) and he’s game, too. I wouldn’t have to be worried too much about takedowns and I’ve been working on my boxing skills tremendously and (I’ll) be able to showcase a knockout…Most of my opponents that (I’ve had) punch a couple times and they don’t want to fight anymore. They just want to wrestle or run away. The other opponent that I had that was game was Brian Foster and we ended up getting fight of the night.”

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Tidbit of the Day: Karo Parisyan Offered to Step in for Nate Marquardt


(Irony, how does it work? PicProps MMAJunkie)

CagePotato.com has learned that former UFC welterweight contender Karo “The Heat” Parisyan contacted the UFC to offer to step in for Nate Marquardt to face Rick Story on last night’s UFC Live on Versus 4 card.

According to a source close to Parisyan, the Armenian Judoka texted UFC president Dana White moments after the news broke that Marquardt was unable to compete on the card because he not met the medical testing requirements of the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission and would immediately be let go from the remainder of his Zuffa contract as a result, to let him know that he was in shape, his medicals were up to date and he could make the 170-pound welterweight limit in about in an hour or two. White, who chose instead to give Charlie Brenneman the fight, simply texted back, “:).”

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UFC Live on Versus 4: 5 Things to Take Away

Seems like you should be able to predict the fight based on the shorts alone. PicProps: MMAJunkie

It happens everytime. You write off a UFC card as uninteresting and decide to paint along with Bob Ross (or whatever it is you do with your personal time), and the fighters get wind of it and take your lack of interest personally.

They get in to the Octagon and perform stupifying acts of athleticism and heartitude, Dana White gets a huge boner at the press conference, and now you have to read recaps and watch GIFs to catch up on the action. Sucks to be you, we guess.

Frankly, you need to be making better choices in your life — you cannot paint those happy little clouds and friendly little mountains like Bob Ross — no one can. Frodog himself couldn’t even paint like that; all of Bob Ross’s shows were actually produced by Industrial Light and Magic. There, the secret is out, and we can die in peace.

For those dedicated souls that tuned in, hey wow, how about that show, huh? Like you, we had some thoughts during the fights, and unlike you, we wrote some of these thoughts down during and after the fights. Come on in and let us tell you how you’re feeling right now.

All hail Zombie Prophet!

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