(Don’t worry, Fido, we’re pissed we can’t hump her leg either.) 

Thanks to the athletic supplement brand Gamma Labs, my penis has officially never been more confused in its life. It’s like a nervous groundhog down there, unsure of whether or not we’ll have six more weeks of winter. And all in the name of Christmas.

Picture this scenario: Brittney Palmer is in your living room, counting down the 12 days of Christmas in red lingerie, preferably while you wait for her evil but equally hot doppelganger to arrive and help you pick out stocking stuffers together (BA-DUM-TSH!). Sounds awesome, right? Now picture that, as you’re about to lay this gorgeous piece of work down by the fireplace, she suddenly morphs into PETE FREAKING SELL, complete with two black eyes and a shitload of tinsel (and probably a cold cut combo somewhere in there). Then Shane Carwin shows up. Then Chuck Liddell. Then Joe Stevenson and an army of caroling children. And so on. And so forth. It is a hellish nightmare that I wouldn’t wish upon the dingus of my worst enemy, yet Gamma Labs has spawned forth this erectoral purgatory on us all seemingly as some sort of cruel holiday joke.

Video after the jump. 

(That makes two of us who went commando today. Pic Props: Playboy)

By Jason Moles

After the post-fight press conference for Bellator 82, I was lucky enough to catch up with one of our all-time favorite MMA ring girls, Jade Bryce. When you’ve been around the business for any significant amount of time, you are rarely blown away during an interview — especially when you’re talking with the hired eye candy. Wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what happened Saturday night.

Ms. Bryce is one of the most knowledgeable and genuinely caring people in the MMA industry. During our conversation, we touched on topics ranging from her favorite fighters to her weakness for chocolate chip cookies. But it’s only when we broached the subject of what she wants for Christmas that her passion was truly enkindled. Check out the highlights of our little one-on-one below.

CagePotato: Hi, Jade, thanks for making time to speak with us. We have a few quick questions for you, which should help our readers get to know you a bit better. For starters, who is your favorite fighter?

Jade Bryce: Since I began with Bellator, I’ve always really loved Michael Chandler and the “Pitbull” brothers a lot, as well as Alexander Shlemenko. I also really like Douglas Lima and Ben Saunders, but yeah, my favorites have always been Shlemenko, “Pitbull” brothers, and Chandler. Oh! [Pat] Curran too. Which is weird because him and [Patricio] “Pitbull” are going to fight soon, so it’ll be a hard fight for me.

CP: For sure. Watching two of your favorite fighters punch each other in the face must be like torture to you. What about Ben Askren, do you think he’s going to defend his title successfully against Karl Amoussou?

JB: No.

CP: Wait, what?! You’re kidding, right? You might be the only person not from France to say that.

JB: I know, but I’m always the one to say, “I told you so.” Everyone else thought Eddie Alvarez was going to win against Chandler, but I had been saying for a year that Chandler was going to win. And no one believed me when it came to “Pitbull” or Chandler, and he has the belt now. I think Amoussou is going to do really well [in his fight against Askren.]

I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.

It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* – that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.

And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.

Being that I own a computer and all, I find that calendars sit very low on the “Things I Desperately Need to Purchase” list whenever I manage to escape my man cave and venture into the human world. That said, I may just have to put off purchasing that Bosch 1274DVS 3 x 21 in. Variable Speed Belt Sander the next time I make a trip to the local mini-mall, because not only do octagon girls Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste have some damn fine looking calendars in store for us, but apparently so do the girls from Championship Fighting Alliance.

We know what you’re thinking: “I’ve never heard of CFA before; will that impede my ability to enjoy the calendar shoot you’ve placed before me?” Well that depends; Do you have to own a Shake Weight to enjoy the commercials? That’s what we thought, so enjoy the video and keep up on all the CFA ring girl happenings over at their official website.

-J. Jones

(“OK, Ms. Celeste, we want this calendar to reflect both your future and your past, which is why I’m going to need you to kick in the window of that Ferrari for this next shot.”)

Allow me to take you through my thought process whilst attempting to determine a worthy enough post this morning:

OK, Jared, another weekend, another dead hooker in the trunk, but that’s not important, you must focus on an MMA-related topic for the time being…let’s see here, Nick Ring has his next fight booked against Constantinos Philippou at UFC 154, but no one cares about that………dammit, Latisha, you just had to threaten to call Big Ron again, didn’t you?! Focus, focus…uh…Marloes Coenen said Ronda Rousey has “no balls”…I suppose that is true, but not really newsworthy, because bitches be crazy, right Latisha? *attempts high five, receives no response*….think Jared, what would the Potato Nation like to start their Monday off with? *looks over to Latisha once again*…TITS. Of course, it’s so obvious! Time to break out the lime, I mean computer, and get started!

So while it may not be all that significant that a behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2013 Calendar shoot was recently released online, please trust that this is probably the most captivating bit of news you could come across this morning given the options at hand. So just shut up and enjoy Ms. Celeste rocking no shirt like only she can.

Video after the jump. 

Coinciding with the 2012 US Open Of Surfing in Huntington Beach, the UFC recently held an open tryout, if you will, to find the newest card-carrying ring girl for its prestigious organization. And even though we already had the perfect candidate in mind, hundreds of women showed up to the casting call for the chance to strut their stuff around an octagon, blow kisses into the camera, and shun the pathetic advances of drunken fans until they are inevitably fired when they turn 25. Ahhhh, America.

As it turns out, the Huntington auditions were no walk in the park: The day began with a clothes-off pose-off, as is tradition, before the advancing contestants were forced to undergo a vigorous test of body, mind, and spirit, which included a five mile swim, a 100 question multiple choice assessment, a talent show, and a horse semen chug-off (at Joe Rogan’s request). The remaining contestants must have been really funny or something is what we’re saying, because Brittney Palmer they are not.

In either case, check out a bunch of the candidates after the jump, head over to Transworld Surf to check out the rest, and let us know what you think. (Author’s note: Not about the picture viewer. I don’t care about your frivolous first world problems.)  

-J. Jones

(They were so young, so…innocent. OK, maybe just young.) 

If you are in need a pick-me-up, then boy do we have some good news for you. Chances are, if you ordered tickets to UFC 149, you are a sad panda bordering on manic depressive at the moment. Every single main card fight has been changed from its original pairing, leaving us with a headlining battle for a belt that has no value outside of Narnia, where its gold could possibly be smelted into a dagger of some sort and used to smite an enemy with extreme righteousness.

But praise the Gods, an angel from on High has been sent to repair this weak, starving card as best as she can with only the power of her presence, like a stacked Mother Teresa if you will. That woman is former UFC ring girl Rachelle Leah, who will be making her triumphant return to the octagon at UFC 149. We last saw Ms. Leah at UFC 111, where she turned in perhaps the single greatest night of card carrying the sport has ever seen. Check out a few of our favorite photos of Rachelle after the jump, and be sure to follow her on Twitter.

(Don’t know what you got, ’till it’s gone…) 

The ongoing trials and tribulations of Arianny Celeste are really beginning to pull at our heartstrings, you guys. When word first broke of her dust up with her unexpectedly average looking boyfriend last Saturday night, we didn’t know whether or not Tiki was somehow to blame for this injustice, or even how it was possible that anyone could DO THIS TO THE POOR GIRL in the first place. All we knew is that we sincerely missed her during the first half of the UFC 146 main card. Brittney is beautiful and all (seriously, she’s freakin’ gorgeous), but we’ve just never been big fans of monogamy.

When we were treated to the long-time ring girl’s mugshot and arrest details shortly thereafter, it appeared as if Ms. Celeste was responsible for starting the fight, and her oddly phrased tweets that came just hours before the incident transpired surely didn’t help her case.

Well, our girl Arianny is not just going to lay back and let the penal system have its way with her…

Like a film on the Tomatometer, it’s very rare that a featured ring girl in our Hot Potato galleries receives 100 percent approval from the Potato Nation. We assume it’s because most of you are pulling in some pretty incredible trim, and we chalk up the rest to trolling. In either case, Bellator ring girl Mercedes Terrell is the exception to the rule, for when we posted our original gallery devoted to her “talents” back in October, she was met with overwhelming validation by you Taters, so we decided that a follow-up gallery was necessary. To check out an even more extensive gallery of Ms. Terrell, head over to It’sFightingStupid, and be sure to follow Mercedes on Twitter.

One Fighting Championships has seen some ups and downs since its inception last year. After a successful debut event, they hit a slight bump in the road by agreeing to take part in the charade that is Bob Sapp. Thankfully, they’ve more than made up for that mistake by signing Korean Model Park Si Hyun to carry the cards for all of its events, starting with the upcoming Babalu/Manhoef headlined One FC 3. This former “race queen” is among the most popular and successful models in South Korea, and rightfully so. Find out all you need to know about Park (ie. more incredibly attractive photos of her) over on her Red Flava page. No, we do not know what a Red Flava page is, so click at your own risk.

We’re not going to waste time with meaningless words. Happy Friday, Potato Nation.

Arianny, you have no soul, we have no soul, can’t we patch things up?

Halloween may be a couple of days away but the weekend is already upon us, so you may very well be donning a costume during your post-fight festivities. In the spirit of the holiday, we thought we’d hit you up with a gallery of female fighters, ring-card girls, and personalities in various stages of festive undress.

Before you go dropping corrections and complaints about some of these not technically being “Halloween” costumes, might we advise you to keep it to yourself? The sport may be evolving, but evolution doesn’t happen overnight, so just enjoy the pictures for what they are and don’t make yourself an easy target in the comments section.

(Uh…yes please. Click all images for larger versions. Make sure to look over both shoulders first before checking out that last one.)

By Anton Gurevich

On May 21st, Wembley Arena in London, England will host the sixth BAMMA event, headlined by a middleweight showdown between Murilo “Ninja” Rua and local hero Tom “Kong” Watson. But before the fighters lock horns inside the cage, let’s take a look at what British Association of Mixed Martial Arts has to offer in terms of ringside entertainment.

Please meet the twenty-one year old Georgia Graham. She’s from Berwick-upon-Tweed, the northernmost town in England, on the east coast at the mouth of the River Tweed (thanks, Wikipedia). Georgia reached the finals of Miss Universe Great Britain back in 2009, and has been doing various promo work since then. She loves Oreo Cookies, Ice-Cream and of course Mixed Martial Arts.

In an exclusive interview for LowKick.com Community, Georgia Graham spoke about her job as BAMMA Ring Girl, Mixed Martial Arts and the most important things she looks for in a guy.

Feel free to add Georgia on Facebook or follow her on Twitter. You may also check out her website at Georgia-Graham.com.

Continue to Lowkick.com for the interview with Georgia and lots more pics!

(Vid: Playboy.com)

Just a couple of days before the semifinalists in our ’2011 Hottest Women in MMA Grand Prix’ are revealed and we thought you could use a little scouting video. What you’ll find above is a subtle little film from the artistes over at Playboy where Octagon girl (and tournament two-seed) Brittney Palmer dresses up like a slutty Power Ranger and plays video games in the most sexually-charged way possible against some lady named Jo Garcia. We’re led to believe Ms Garcia is some variety of Playmate, but whatevs. When we saw it, we thought of you, Nation. Need convincing that this is something you should invest just under two and a half minutes in? “I’m so on top of you right now,” Garcia says to B-Palm at one point. Watch the vid, then come back on Thursday to find out who stays in the running for the big gold belt, the medal, the trophies, the oversized check and the wreathy crown.

("You are in luck. There’s a town about three miles that way, I’m sure you’ll find a couple guys there.")

 …at least according to AskMen.com’s just-released Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2011 list, their annual ranking of attractive famous chicks. It’s good news for the UFC’s alpha ring-girl, who creeps up three spots from her position last year. At this rate, she’ll officially be hotter than Kristen Stewart in 2013.

AskMen collected more than 5 million reader votes for the latest edition of the list, and as is usually the case when you leave it up to the public, the results are all over the map. Blake Lively is #1 for some reason — way ahead of Christina Hendricks (#21), Brooklyn Decker (#36), and Arianny’s TV doppelganger Olivia Munn (#47) — which suggests that AskMen’s masculine readership contains a whole lot of closeted Gossip Girl fans.

One notable omission: Gina Carano didn’t make the cut at all, despite landing at the #68 spot in 2010. Out of sight, out of mind, huh guys? We’ll see if her budding action movie career puts her back in the spotlight next year. You can check out the entire Top 99 list right here. As always, feel free to post your own top ten lists in the comments section…

Props (as usual) to MMAFightGirls for introducing us to Shannon Lee Marr, a 20-year-old model and ring girl from North Andover, Massachusetts, who’s currently studying to be a nurse. Shannon has modeled for the MMA labels Knockout Athletics and Boston Brawler, and will appear tomorrow night as a featured ring girl for the CES MMA Snow Brawl at Twin River Casino in Lincoln, Rhode Island.

Random quote: "I was promoting Knockout Athletics at a recent UFC Expo and MMA fighter Pat Barry had me sign his whitey tighties in front of crowds of people."

Nobody ever said this job would be easy, Shannon. You can see more of Ms. Marr at ModelMayhem.com. A few more choice pics are after the jump…

  
(Photos courtesy of UFC Magazine via MMA Fix. Click all for larger versions.)

The latest issue of UFC Magazine is on newsstands now, featuring a cover story on Georges St. Pierre, a list of the 25 greatest submissions in UFC history, and most importantly, some jaw-dropping photos of new Octagon Girl Brittney Palmer, who will be making her debut at UFC 125 on New Year’s Day. Of course, Brittney is already a familiar sight to anybody who’s followed her work in the WEC. And because CagePotato is your #1 resource for crudely-scanned magazine photos of hot MMA ring girls, shots from her new pictorial are above. What else can you say, except perhaps "My God dat ass"?

Props to our buddies at TheCageDoctors for turning us on to Kathleen Tesori, a fitness competitor and spokesmodel from Salt Lake City who can currently be seen as a ring girl on MTV’s Bully Beatdown. Get to know Kathleen better on her website, and follow her updates on Twitter. And if you really want to be a pal, you can vote for her in the 2011 BodySpace Spokesmodel search.

After the jump: More hot photos, and a Muscle and Fitness video shoot that gives us a workout just watching it…

("Trust me, everything at Strikeforce is just fine. Say, anybody else hear those violins?") 

In the wake of yesterday’s merger between the UFC and the WEC, Strikeforce’s quest to carve out an equal space in the MMA world just got even more unlikely. But if you’re Scott Coker, this is no time to despair. It’s time to fight harder — and finally fix the slew of problems that have been dragging you down. So here’s what you do…

No more "Challengers" cards until further notice
The bottom line is, your roster isn’t deep enough to pull it off, and nobody gives a fuck. We just came off of a Challengers event that was headlined — I said headlined — by Roger Bowling vs. Bobby Voelker. For God’s sake, the next Raging Wolf card is more stacked. Strikeforce should abandon their minor-league series, and stick all those prospects onto the prelims of their larger Showtime cards (more on that next). If that means fewer events, so be it. Sure, you want to develop your brand by holding regular shows around the country, but just as importantly, you want to associate your brand with excellence and excitement. And let’s be honest, Strikeforce can’t be turning a profit on those Challengers cards anyway.

(Photos courtesy of natalieskyy.unfilteredmma.com. Click all for larger images.)
   

While cruising the nominees for the third annual World Mixed Martial Arts Awards, we noticed an unfamiliar name in the "Ring Girl of the Year" category. Battling it out with Arianny Celeste, Chandella Powell, Brittney Palmer, and Rachelle Leah is Natalie Skyy, a model/actress from Campbell, California, who has held round-cards for Strikeforce and Shark Fights. If you feel that Natalie is the greatest ring girl of 2010, you can vote for her here until November 26th. Winners in all the categories will be announced during a live ceremony at the Pearl Theater in Las Vegas on December 1st. For more photos of Natalie, check out facebook.com/NatalieSkyy and natalieskyy.unfilteredmma.com.

   
   
(Click all for larger versions.)

While perusing MMA Worldwide’s latest issue, I came across the lovely Sarah McDowd, an Anaheim-based model who picked up the magazine’s most recent "Ms. MMA Worldwide" title. Among her looooong list of credits, Sarah has shot for Affliction/Sinful, No Fear, RockStar Energy, pretty much every car magazine ever published, and was a "Maxim Hometown Hottie" semi-finalist last year. Personally, I dig her second-coming-of-Edith-Labelle vibe. Your thoughts? For lots more of Sarah, check her out on MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, ModelMayhem, and SwimwearModelWebsites.com. More photos and a few selected videos of Sarah are after the jump…

(Sakuraba vs. Mayhem at DREAM.16: A fight so amazing, it can only be described as ‘Fantasista’. Props: YouTube.com/DREAM)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Todd Duffee Released By The UFC; Manager Calls Him an "Ass" (MMA Convert)

– Ariel Helwani goes backstage with MMA broadcast icon Mauro Ranallo. (MMA Fighting)

– Want a pair of tickets to UFC 119: Mir vs. Cro Cop? All you need is a name and an e-mail address… (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Kendall Grove confirms fight with Demian Maia at TUF 12 Finale in December (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Ring Girls Round-Up: Shark Fights Angels (LowKick)

– After Defeating James Toney, Does Randy Couture Have One Last Title Run Left? (Versus MMA Beat)

– Brock Lesnar’s Most Unintentionally Hilarious TV Spots (Watch Kalib Run)

– Exclusive Bellator 27 Photo Gallery (Fight! Magazine)

– After escaping from a mental institution last month, MMA cult hero Viacheslav Datsik is still at large, and preparing for his comeback. (MiddleEasy)

– 10 MMA Photos That Will Scare Your Children and Make You Cry Yourself to Sleep (MMA Scraps)

(Click all for larger versions)
   

In a word: Niiiiiiiiiice. Foxy "Best of Pride" host Kenda Perez lent her talents to the Aug/Sept issue of UFC Magazine, which you can pick up on newsstands now. Follow Kenda on Twitter, and check out more great photos on her MySpace and Facebook pages.

(Paul Thatcher shoots model Jade Bryce for FIGHT!’s July 2010 issue. She enjoys camping, Roger Huerta, and covering her boobs with boxing gloves. Props: FIGHT! Magazine)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Bold MMA Predictions For The Second Half Of 2010 (Heavy.com/MMA)

- Chad Griggs: Lashley Is Strikeforce’s Golden Child, But Very Beatable (MMA Fighting)

– The Most Ridiculous Nick Diaz T-Shirt Ever Printed (MiddleEasy)

– Community Interview: WEC Featherweight Contender Josh Grispi Answers Questions From Fans (LowKick)

– After TUF Loss, DaMarques Johnson Still Climbing the UFC Ranks (Versus MMA Beat)

– Mitrione vs. Beltran, Dollaway vs. Doerkson set for UFC 119 Prelims on Spike TV (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Brock Lesnar Makes it Rain, PPV Buys That Is (Watch Kalib Run)

– Knockout of the Day: Segio Junior vs. Thiago Gomes da Silva (MMA Scraps)

(Props: twitter.com/evgenikogan)

It’s videos like these that make us think, damn, maybe M-1 Global should give up this silly MMA business and just go into model-hunting full-time. The Russian promotion recently set up shop in St. Petersburg to cast some new M-1 Girls, which we’re assuming is their team of bikini assassins who also hold round-cards during M-1 Selection events. The results were very, very positive; we’re partial to the girl at 0:49-1:15, and the girl at 1:23-1:43. Of course, as Dana White might say, "Oksana and Katarina are jokes, and wouldn’t be able to last five minutes blowing kisses at the camera next to Arianny." Your thoughts?

Ali Sonoma hasn’t been employed as a UFC ring girl since late 2007, but for some reason whenever this woman puts on a bikini, we still care deeply. MMA Fight Girls passes along a couple highlights from a recent GW Burns photo workshop that Ali participated in, which we’ve posted above along with a couple of recent additions to her ModelMayhem profile. Enjoy responsibly.

Previously:
- Ali Sonoma Will Do ‘Implied Nude’ for $325.95
- Ali Sonoma is Also Willing to Show Off Some Skin

***

Ali Sonoma (born March 9, 1985) is a former UFC Octagon Girl who worked for the promotion from 2006-2007. Born in St. Louis, Ali began modeling at the age of 16, and landed her UFC ring girl spot after competing in a UFC Octagon Girl Search contest in 2006. During her time with the UFC, she dated fighter Diego Sanchez. Ali Sonoma was a contestant on ABC’s The Mole following her exit from the UFC. She currently lives in Miami, where she continues to model profesisonally. She has been featured in Maxim, Muscle & Fitness, and Playboy, among other magazines.

Check out these other hot UFC ring girls…
Arianny Celeste
Chandella Powell
Edith Larente

Antonio McKee Highlights – Watch more Funny Videos

I think I’ll just leave this here…

(BG)

Unrelated reminders:
– Have you voted for your favorite design in the Six Deuce MMA poster contest yet? The poll actually works now, so go for it.
– Come back tomorrow night at 9 p.m. for our liveblog of Strikeforce: Nashville!

(Mercedes Terrell and Monica Arteaga. One is suspicious, the other mischievous!)

You may recall that a while back we told you about Bellator’s search for ring girls. You might also recall that we invited you to send us your pictures if you wanted us to put in a good word for you. Some of you did, but because those pictures were gross, weird, or obviously just photoshops of your head on Angelina Jolie’s body, we decided not to pass them on and instead we reported you to the proper authorities.

But lo and behold, Bellator found themselves some professional hot chicks without our help, and from the look of it they did a pretty good job.

Props to the UG for turning us on to British bombshell Rhian Sugden, a former Page 3 girl who currently holds ring cards for BAMMA. Hailing from Greater Manchester, the 23-year-old blonde model has been featured on the covers of U.K. men’s magazines like Nuts, Zoo, and Loaded, and is also known for her nude monthly calendars [link NSFW]. You can see more of Rhian at her official site and her MySpace page. More lovely photos after the jump…