Hmm…do we count Tim Sylvia’s weight as a high or a low?

If you didn’t get to catch One FC’s fifth event yesterday, you more than likely are under the impression that it was an event crushed by its completely preposterous stance on soccer kicks. While the soccer kick fiasco brought the sort-of anticipated fourth bout between Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski to new heights of freak show ridiculousness, the show gave fans plenty of reasons to cheer and a few things to jeer as well. With videos beginning to surface from yesterday’s bouts, and no other televised MMA to look forward to tonight, let’s take some time to re-watch some of the better fights.

Unfortunately, the best fight from yesterday’s card – a lightweight slugfest between Eduard Folayang and Felipe Enomoto – isn’t available as of now. We’ll keep you posted if a video surfaces, but if one doesn’t, you’ll only have to wait until October 6 to see Folayang battle Zorobabel Moreira for the promotion’s lightweight title. Videos from the rest of the card available after the jump.

“The YAMMA Masters Division is still a real weight class, right?”

It’s déjà vu all over again.

Before UFC 134 marked the promotion’s highly anticipated return to Brazil, Royce Gracie trolled the MMA community pretty hard by claiming that he not only wanted to fight on the card, but also that he had been negotiating with the UFC in order to make this happen. Needless to say, Royce wasn’t successful.

With the UFC 153 fight card beginning to fill out for the promotion’s return to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, it now appears that one time UFC competitor Renzo Gracie wants in on the action. But, you know, only if it’s cool with everyone. As MMAWeekly is reporting:

“That’s a possibility. In my life I learned one thing, impossible is nothing,” Gracie stated about possibly competing at UFC 153.

“I love the crowd there. I love the intensity that surrounds the whole arena when you’re in Brazil fighting and Brazil is cheering. It’s a different ball game.”

(Just so you know, Rolles is the one on the bottom.) 

Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the insane hope that Fedor Emelianenko would be the man to challenge Junior Dos Santos for the UFC Heavyweight title –all six of you– as the rumor currently circulating the MMA blogosphere has “The Last Emperor’s” potential opponent bar set a little…lower. Go figure.

Yes, according to none other than Rolles Gracie himself, via his Twitter, it looks like the other member of the Gracie clan to go one-and-done in the UFC is currently negotiating with M-1 Global to put the fight together this summer, stating:

 Where there is smoke there is fire. My manager is under negotiation with M1. We’re really close to make this fight against Fedor to happen.

Don’t get too excited, Rolles, we all know how tasking the typical M-1 negotiation can be.

(To activate Sapp’s “duck and cover” signature move, press “UP, UP, A, B” on your controller.”)

When Bob Sapp finally retires from MMA and pens an inevitable tell-all book, there’s a pretty good chance that his 11-10 record will be diminished to a more realistic number like 1-5.

Proof that some promoters still fix fights is the video after the jump of Sapp diving head-first at opponent Volkan Duzgun at an event called Vuisten van Vuur in Den Bosch, Netherlands over the weekend, before turtling and getting TKO’ed via WWE-esque shots to the arms and body. He doesn’t even know how to fake fight well.

Props: IronForgesIron.com

When we announced that ONE FC’s second event would feature professional publicity stunt Bob Sapp fighting against UFC veteran (sigh) Rolles Gracie, we offered you a question about the fight: Bad idea, or worst idea? On paper, this meant pitting a one-dimensional, subpar kickboxer fighter impersonator against a one-dimensional grappler. Factor in the complete lack of cardiovascular endurance that both men have exhibited, and we were in for an ugly affair.

Well, that fight went down today in Jakarta, Indonesia. And it was everything that you expected it to be.

After going 0-7 in kickboxing and MMA in 2011, Bob Sapp decided that he needed to change his traditional game plan of “start out strong, get tired, get knocked out”. This time around, Bob Sapp attempted to start the fight early during yesterday’s weigh ins. Like the obese guy who orders medium fries with his twenty piece nuggets and large milkshake instead of large fries, we guess we can applaud him for at least changing something.

(Is that Brazilian Walnut I am standing on? Classy.) 

Called it.

As told to FightersOnly magazine by none other than Joey Beltran himself, it appears that the UFC has released “The Mexicutioner” following his first round “kickstand KO” (Props to Stak40 for coining the term) loss to Lavar Johnson at UFC on Fox 2. The loss was Beltran’s fourth in his last five outings but his first ever to come via form of (T)KO. In regards to his release, Beltran stated the following:

I am truly grateful for all the opportunities that I have received from the UFC/Zuffa. I am not sad or hurt by their decision as I know that winning is the name of the game. Posting  a 1-4 record my last 5 fights is unacceptable regardless of how entertaining the fights were. So this is the next chapter of my career, and one that I am excited for. You will definitely see my ugly face again so fans don’t worry and haters keep on hating. 

We know the Internet is a cold, harsh place, but what person claiming to be a fan of MMA would hate Joey Beltran?

("Don’t worry about it, Rolles. Listen, why don’t you stick around Vegas for a while and learn the casino trade?" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Following his ugly loss to Joey "The Mexecutioner" Beltran last Saturday at UFC 109, Rolles Gracie has reportedly been cut from the UFC, joining Mark Coleman, Phillipe Nover, Tim Hague, and Frank Trigg in the list of fighters who didn’t make it out of that show with their jobs intact.

It’s not a common occurrence for a new UFC fighter to immediately get cut if they lose their debut, but Rolles wasn’t just any prospect — his last name gave him a lot to live up to. Whether the pressure came from Dana White or the fighter’s humiliated uncle, there may have been concern about Rolles tarnishing the Gracies’ UFC legacy with any more godawful performances. As a 3-1 fighter, his story is by no means over. But he’ll need a little more seasoning before he makes a return to the bright lights and high pressure of MMA’s biggest stage.

(Funny, I don’t remember this position being taught in those Gracie Jiu-Jitsu instructional videos. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Being a Gracie in MMA is a little like being a Kennedy in American politics – for better or worse, there are certain expectations. We realize Rolles Gracie had only his fourth professional fight at UFC 109 on Saturday night, so we didn’t expect him to burst on the scene like the second coming of Rickson. We did, however, expect him to beat a guy who took the bout on a few days’ notice, and whose most significant career win thus far was a knockout of Houston Alexander in January.

For the first few minutes things seemed to be going as planned. Then Rolles turned into an exhausted zombie, plodding flat-footed and open-mouthed around the Octagon before eventually giving up altogether and lying flat on his stomach as he waited for the referee to get bored enough to stop the bout.

A lot of trainers might try and soft-pedal their disappointment out of regard for the guy’s feelings after a fight like that. Renzo Gracie is not one of those trainers. Talking to GracieFighter.com, he called the performance “embarrassing,” adding:

(Rolles Gracie vs. Sam Holloway, 9/20/07)

A quick look at the four fresh talents who will be hunting for success in the Eight-Sided Shape on Saturday night…

PHIL DAVIS (LHW)
Experience: 4-0 record (3 wins by first-round stoppage) in various regional leagues. Last competed in June ’09, choking out David Baggett at a UCFC event in Pittsburgh.
Will be fighting: Brian Stann (8-2, 2-1 UFC)
Lowdown: They call him "Mr. Wonderful." A four-time All-American and 2008 Division I National Wrestling Champion for Penn State, Davis began his MMA education with Greg Jackson before moving to San Diego, where he now works out with Brandon Vera at the Alliance Training Center. His fighting mentality was instilled in him from an early age, as he had to scrap with his two older brothers for two available seats at their family’s dinner table. By the age of 12, Davis was “eating dinner almost every night.” [Ed. note: Wow, that's kind of fucked up.] Davis thinks it’s pretty cool that Brian Boitano gets roses thrown at him after his performances, and would like that to happen for him someday.

RONNYS TORRES (LW)
Experience: 14-1 record (12 wins by stoppage), with all fights taking place in Brazilian leagues including Shooto Brazil and Jungle Fight.
Will be fighting: Melvin Guillard (22-8-1 with 1 no-contest, 5-4 UFC)
Lowdown: Due to a series of injuries, Torres has been out of action since September 2008, when he scored a first-round submission over Eliene Silva at Jungle Fight 11; Torres was originally supposed to face Guillard last April.  The Nova Uniao prospect with the oddly-pluralized first name has had to cut over 30 pounds to make the lightweight limit. He plans on making his cage-entrance to gospel music. "It is step by step that I will arrive to the top," Torres says. "I only ask that God illuminates me."

Rolles Gracie loses his Fight Virginity – Watch more Funny Videos

Here’s a fun MMA trivia question for you: when is the last time a member of the Gracie family won a fight in the UFC?  If you said 1995, you’re wrong.  That was when Royce Gracie fought to a draw against Ken Shamrock.  The correct answer is 1994, otherwise known as the Cretaceous Period of MMA, when Gracie defeated Dan Severn to win UFC 4.  But Rolles Gracie Jr., the son of deceased jiu-jitsu legend Rolls Gracie, has reportedly signed with the UFC and is expected to make his debut against Mostapha Al-Turk at UFC 109.  So does this mean the Gracie drought in the UFC is finally over?

Short answer: probably.  Al-Turk has yet to win a fight in the UFC after two attempts, and he’s never been known for his submissions prowess even outside the Octagon.  Gracie, as you probably guessed, is pretty good on the ground.  In addition to his jiu-jitsu accomplishments, he’s won all three of his professional MMA bouts via submission, though he’s yet to really face any tough competition.  As for the UFC, you can bet they’d like to see someone with such a famous name in the MMA scene make a run, so starting him off with a relatively easy fight against Al-Turk only makes sense.  The only question on our minds is, does this mean we’re going to see the Gracie train entrance make a triumphant reappearance?

After the jump, watch Rolles do a little grappling, with mixed results.