So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

(Oh, Ronda, you really might want to consider keeping that beautiful mouth shut for a while.) 

Ronda Rousey is a dead woman walking, ladies and gentlemen. In the midst of preparing for her title shot against newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Meisha Tate, you’d think the Olympic Judoka’s focus would remain solely on the tassk at hand. But apparently Ms. Rousey is taking a book out of Chael Sonnen’s chapter, as she is stirring up some serious shit with former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Cristiane Santos.

It all began when “Cyborg” tested positive for steroids in the wake of her 16 second victory over Hiroko Yamanaka, which gave Ronda all the ammunition she needed to lob a hell storm of insults at the former champ. But Cyborg, who was somehow able to find a working computer WITH internet access in Brazil, recently tweeted the following photo as a warning to Rousey:

For those of you who don’t speak Goldbergian Japanese, Cyborg’s tweet reads: Next victim…Ronda!! No mercy!!

Now, where that tweet would have been enough to make most of us kiss our loved ones goodbye and flee the country in fear, it only fueled the fire for Rousey, who responded:

(Alistair Overeem vs. Junior Dos Santos fan-made trailer via TheAzyunyh4)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- Anthony Johnson Finds New Life at New Weight, Thanks in Part to ‘Blackzilians’ (MMA Fighting)

- Strikeforce Champ Luke Rockhold Suffers Broken Hand in Win Over Keith Jardine (MMA Mania)

- 50 Random MMA Facts You Never Knew (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Ronda Rousey on Cyborg: ‘I Always Knew She Was a Cheater’ (FightLine)

- Review: ‘Haywire’, Starring Gina Carano (MMA Convert)

- Atlanta to Host UFC 146 on April 21st (5th Round)

- A Running Journal of MTV’s ‘Caged’ (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Chael Sonnen: My MMA Career Will Be a Colossal Failure Without That 12 Pounds of Gold (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Here’s Video of Keith Jardine’s Mom Confronting Luke Rockhold’s Brother After Strikeforce (MiddleEasy)

- Rampage and King Mo Still Want to Fight Each Other — Can the UFC Make It Happen? (The Fight Nerd)

- Is the Pro-Wrestling Influence in UFC Unattractive to Female Sports Fans? (Fight Opinion)

- Update on Zuffa vs. New York: NY Files Motion (MMA Payout)

(I bet even those scientists from the future who put me together couldn’t have predicted that old #643227 would become a future champion!) 

Success is a double edged sword. On one hand, it brings fame, fortune, and an immeasurable sense of self confidence, one that can only be gained by the awareness that you are truly the best at what you do. On the other, it brings crushing, tireless scrutiny from everyone around you, including those who helped build you up in the first place. And it is when you allow those naysayers to affect your daily routine, your mental state, or, in Christiane “Cyborg” Santos‘ case, your training regimen, that you have begun the inevitable fall from grace that follows.

Ever since her introduction to the public MMA circuit, Santos was looked at as a fighter who was simply on another level than that of her female counterparts. Her strength, striking ability, and general physique was shocking to even the most devoted MMA fans, and after she handled Gina Carano to take the Strikeforce women’s featherweight title, we knew she would be there for a long, long time.

And as with any case of athletic dominance, steroid accusations were immediately lobbed at the champ. Though there was little evidence to suggest any truth to these claims, pundits and keyboard warriors alike ruthlessly pursued them nonetheless. And as it turns out, behind the rumor was a fair bit of truth.

…and fillilng out nicely, we must say. (Pic: StandThemUp.org)

At the post-fight presser for “Strikeforce: Rockhold vs Jardine”, promotion CEO Scott Coker artfully dodged questions about the demise of Women’s Featherweight Champion Cris Cyborg, offering up some good news for the media to focus on instead. His announcement confirmed the pending showdown between Champion Miesha Tate and rising star Ronda Rousey. Additionally, Coker unveiled three more bouts for the card, which will go down in Columbus, Ohio on March 3^rd.

With their women’s Featherweight division in shambles, Strikeforce will look to further develop the scene at Bantamweight with a pairing of Sarah Kaufman and Alexis Davis. Kaufman formerly held Strikeforce’s 135lb strap–her only loss came in a title defense against Marloes Coenen back in October of 2010. Since that time she’s rattled off wins over Megumi Yabushita and Liz Carmouche. Davis is on a three-fight streak, picking up her last two wins over Julie Kedzie and Amanda Nunes under the Strikeforce banner. Given the caliber of competitors and their placement on this card, it’s safe to assume that the winner of this fight could go on to challenge the victor of the Tate-Rousey bout.

(Watch out for that metal thing? / Props: Maury Povich via ScreenJunkies)

God damn you, ReX13. His running gag this week inspired us to revive an old, dead CagePotato feature, in which we take a moment to recognize some of your efforts in the comments section. Will we forget about this by next Friday? Maybe. Maybe not. All we have is this moment. And now, the eight greatest comments of the week…

ReX13 on “Report: Miesha Tate to Defend Strikeforce Title Against Ronda Rousey on March 3rd” [selected highlights]:
- “If you weren’t pretty, it wouldn’t matter what you said or didn’t say. That’s why you’re getting this attention.” – Miesha Tate
- “Man, Stalin was a real asshole, killing his own people like that.” – Pol Pot
- “Wow, that Bachmann chick is stuck on turbo-crazy. The only reason people are giving her the time of day is because she’s a relatively attractive woman in the Republican party. Does she hear the words that are coming out of her mouth?” – Sarah Palin
- “Goddammit, I’ve spent fifteen years in this neighborhood trying to increase property vaules, and a whole fucking passel of kettles just moved in next door. With their hippity hop music and Tyler Perry movies…..we better get a dog, honey.” – Pot
- “Bobby Flay is kinda a douche, you guys.” – Guy Fieri
- “The Duggars should stop having children. Can they even handle the children they already have?” – Nadya “Octomom” Suleman
- “That Octomom is such an attention whore.” – Kate Gosselin
- “Fuck you, bitch.” – Nadya Suleman

ElDandy on “Video of the Day: Fabricio Werdum Is as Inappropriate as We Are and Fedor Isn’t Impressed“
Fedor’s high priest looks like every dude I’ve ever seen at a Widespread concert.

Fried Taco on “Aw Geez, Now BJ Penn is Calling Nick Diaz a Cheater“:
At least BJ is right about one thing. No one will ever accuse him of being the bigger man.

(Before she became MMA’s sweetheart, Ronda battled through some tough personal bouts growing up.)

We’ve all read stories about how Ronda Rousey became a beast on the mats training with the tough Armenians like Karo Parisyan and Manny Gamburyan as a girl at Gokor Chivichyan’s gym, but few actually know the real battles the bubbly Strikeforce number one bantamweight contender has gone through in her life.

In a recent feature by SI’s Loretta Hunt, Rousey revealed that her precarious life path began early in life as she could not speak until she was six due to complications at birth.

Of any fighter, it’s fitting that Rousey knows the value of making her voice be heard — she couldn’t put together coherent sentences until the age of six.

Rousey was born with her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck; her body was blue and she wasn’t breathing. She was revived in the delivery room, but when her communicative skills quickly fell behind the norm, the doctors thought she’d suffered brain damage or that she might be deaf.

When she began to talk, Rousey’s words were jumbled and she was sent to speech therapy classes. Frustration was a daily occurrence, as nobody could understand her.

(Can you train yourself to be double-jointed? I’m just wondering, y’know, for Miesha’s sake.)

Though the match has yet to be confirmed by the fighters or the promotion, MMAWeekly and MMAJunkie are both reporting that Miesha Tate will defend her Strikeforce women’s bantamweight title against fast-rising prospect and Olympic judo bronze-medalist Ronda Rousey in Columbus, Ohio, on March 3rd.

Tate is riding a six-fight win streak, but hasn’t competed since July, when she won her belt by submitting Marloes Coenen via fourth-round arm-triangle choke. A relative newcomer to the sport, Rousey had all four of her professional fights last year, winning each one by armbar in under a minute. But all those fights took place at featherweight or above, and this will be the first time she’ll compete at 135.

Because Rousey’s first fight in her new weight class is a title fight (see also: Keith Jardine), Miesha Tate has made it clear that she doesn’t think Ronda deserves the opportunity, telling FightHubTV:

If you’re anything like us, then your obsession with the gorgeous and deadly Ronda Rousey has grown greater with each passing day. You’ve likely written no less than twenty Shakespearean sonnets declaring your love for the woman, and though you won’t admit it, in the back of your mind you know that this obsession is destined to end with a restraining order and a harai goshi to boot.

The video, taken from one of Ms. Rousey’s recent training sessions, demonstrates a couple of the “impact conditioning” exercises the Olympic Judoka goes through on a daily basis. Now that she’s been rallying for a match against Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, we imagine the purpose of this drill is to prevent our girl from immediately BM’ing after eating one of the champ’s ruthless body shots. Good luck, Ronda, because being in the same room as Cyborg is enough to make us try out our best Tim Sylvia impression. <— WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THIS JOKE.

(Can someone say SUPERFIGHT?!!!) 

It’s a new year, Potato Nation, and aside from an endless number of Mayan-themed jokes that will undoubtedly punctuate most of our content, we’ve decided to kick off 2012 with you, our esteemed followers, in mind. And while we had more than our fill of exciting brawls in 2011, things like injury curses, excessive title shots, and sudden desires for film careers left us with hunger pains that could only be satiated by the announcement of another marquee match-up. That, or one of your wife’s famous steak sandwiches.

Call us greedy, call us insensitive, but we’re the type of fans that simply must have our every fantasy fulfilled, and it is with that in mind that we ask you, our fellow fanatics, to join us in a discussion of the five fights we NEED to witness this year, if only to end a few of the never ending arguments that constitute the CP comments sections. Here are our picks…

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen

Why?: Because if we have to hear how lucky Silva got one more time, we are going to round up all of our writers and perform a full reenactment of Death of a (Real Estate) Salesman. Goldstein will play Willy Loman, the elderly and dillusional salesman (Obvs.). CrushCo will play Biff, the former football star who yearns for a life as a farmhand, and Seth will play Happy, the slacking womanizer, leaving none other than myself to play Linda. What can I say, it sucks being the new guy.