(“Woah woah, Ronda, slow down. You can’t just waltz in off the street and demand to be in our crew. Fact is, you can’t join until you go through initiation.”) 

As us bloggers are apt to do when a pretty girl walks into the room, it looks like we may have prematurely shot our wad when we broke the historic news that Ronda Rousey had become the first woman to ever sign with the UFC. That’s correct, you’ve now read two semen-related puns in a row. And it’s only Monday. Anyway, Rousey’s manager recently spoke with ESPN to refute the claims:

“Right now, nothing has changed,” says Darin Harvey of Fight Tribe, noting that Rousey is in Las Vegas to fly with the Thunderbirds, the Air Force demonstration squadron, and not to sign a UFC contract.

(The Comeback of Buck Rydell, episode 1. Any similarities between Buck and a certain UFC legend are purely coincidental. Keep an eye on the Buck Rydell YouTube page for future installments of the series.)

- Dan Henderson Says He’s Fighting Lyoto Machida at UFC 156 (BleacherReport)

- Pros React to Ronda Rousey Joining UFC, Dissolution of Strikeforce (MMAFighting)

- Rich Franklin Expects Plenty Of Tricks From Cung Le (Fightline)

- Anderson Silva and Jon Jones Kidnapped and Forced to Fight (prebek)

- Dave Herman Agrees to Drug-Rehab Program (MMAJunkie)

- To be fair, we heard his first words were “Hello Japan!” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- UFC Primetime: St. Pierre vs. Condit Episode One (HeavyMMA)

- The Best-Ever Bond Villains (MensFitness)

- The 100 Greatest Hip-Hop Beats of All-Time (Complex)

- It’s Thanksgiving: Let’s Make a Horrible Music Video (EgoTV)

- The 50 Weirdest Photos on the Internet (WorldWideInterweb)

- 9 Bad Tattoo Ideas No Man Should Ever Get (MadeMan)

(Oh for God’s sake, Scott. You can put those things down now.)

By Doug “ReX13″ Richardson

While there’s been no official confirmation — yet — the story goes that Strikeforce has one more show scheduled in January, after which Zuffa will shutter the whole operation and add another head in Dana White‘s trophy case. Presumably, the Baldfather has a triple-locked basement room where he goes to sip single-barrel bourbon and contemplate the zombified heads of his former competitors, a quiet time that allows him to reflect on his successes and find some measure of inner peace. You’d think doing the backstroke through piles of money a la Scrooge McDuck would be enough for that, but you’re just a stupid pleb without two nickels to rub together, so what the fuck do you know?

Anywho, while some would say that Strikeforce has hung around long past its expiration date, I’m here to tell you that turning off the lights and canceling Scott Coker’s credit line is just the latest of Zuffa’s missteps when dealing with Strikeforce. Dana White bought a goose that laid golden eggs, killed it to get the magic gold-producing gland, taxidermied the corpse when that didn’t work, stuck his dick in the lukewarm cadaver because Ronda Rousey, and is now looking to decorate his mantle with blood-stained goose down because what are you going to do, this stupid goose is broken.

Brand Recognition

First of all, it bears repeating that Strikeforce pre-dates the UFC (not just Zuffa) by eight years. Strikeforce was putting on kickboxing shows when Dana White was still using GLH after his boxercise classes. This is a brand that’s been established for two decades, and fans, athletes, managers, and athletic commissions knew the brand. Now, the long-acknowledged #2 name in combat sports (at least in North America) is being thrown to the scrap heap because Zuffa was unable or unwilling to use it properly. Silver lining: maybe your Strikeforce merch will be collector’s items?

Two pieces of related news broke last night that have massive implications for the future of MMA. First, Strikeforce superstar Ronda Rousey has reportedly become the first female fighter to join the UFC, and will immediately be crowned the UFC’s 135-pound women’s champion. The news was broken by TMZ, and confirmed by MMAFighting with sources close to the promotion, although neither the UFC nor Rousey have released an official statement. No word on Rousey’s promotional debut date or opponent, though her old pal Miesha Tate will apparently be a part of the UFC’s budding women’s roster as well.

It’s a historic moment for the sport, and one that’s surprising in how quickly it came together. In less than two years, we went from women will “never” be in the UFC, to women’s MMA is “absolutely going to happen” in the UFC, and much of the credit for that can be given to Rousey herself, whose nasty grappling and dude-in-a-beautiful-body appeal charmed UFC president Dana White into evolving his opinion.

Clearly, the promotion can make money off of the former Olympic medalist. The question is, who is she going to fight, and exactly how committed is the UFC to women’s MMA? Will the UFC be doing its best to fill out multiple weight divisions and regularly put female fighters on its cards, or is this just going to be the Ronda Rousey Show, with “Rowdy” armbarring whoever they can find to fight her, in relatively meaningless exhibitions three times a year? More details are expected to be announced early next week, which may shed some more insight on the UFC’s longer-term goals with their new acquisition.

And that brings us to the second bit of major news, which might even be more well-received, considering how long we’ve been begging for it…

(If you are implying that this photo has anything to do with odds…you’re probably right.) 

You’ve gotta love the kind of needless analysis and ridiculous speculation that the Internet era has brought to modern sports. Despite the fact that the Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane Cyborg fight is still trapped in MMA purgatory, the mere possibility of the matchup is apparently enough for several gambling sites around the MMA blogosphere to start laying out the betting lines for what could be the biggest fight in WMMA history. If it ever happens.

Currently, the women’s bantamweight champion is listed between a -160 to -170 favorite over the former featherweight champ on various sports gambling sites. Sure, Cristiane hasn’t fought in nearly a year since she was stripped of her title for a positive steroids test, and Ronda hasn’t met a challenger with anywhere near the kind of devastating knockout power that Cyborg possesses, but who are we to judge the motives of our cyber-bookie overlords?

(Let’s just say that Cristiane has a way of “convincing” men to do what she wants. We won’t give away the secret, but it involves a garden hose, a tub of creamed corn, a circus midget, and a LOT of tears.) 

What a difference one year (and a smokin’ hot champion) can make.

Over the past few months, we’ve seen UFC President Dana White pull a 180 on such topics as TRT, fights that “make sense,” and most importantly, women’s MMA. Where less than a year ago, Dana could be quoted as saying that we would “never” see women in the UFC – unless they were informing us what round it is, of course — nowadays, his attitude seems to have shifted in the opposite direction. This could partially be due to the success of such smaller promotions as InvictaFC, but is more a result of Dana’s budding fascination with Ronda Rousey, who he has referred to as “unique,” “a Diaz brother,” and “a f*cking dude trapped in this beautiful body.” We’re not sure how he would consider the second quality to be all that endearing, but needless to say, The Baldfather recently informed Sports Illustrated that WMMA is on its way to the UFC:

It’s absolutely going to happen.

[It] could happen tomorrow, it could happen a year from now.

We’ve just heard word that Scott Coker has hung himself.

(What’s more interesting to you — Donald Cerrone‘s wakeboarding career, or Tracy Lee‘s chest? / Video via AlienwareChannel)

- Stephan Bonnar Feels He Can ‘Shock the World’ at UFC 153 (MMAFighting)

- EXCLUSIVE: UFC On Fuel 5 Fight Night Photo Gallery (HeavyMMA)

- Anderson Silva Won’t Stay at Light-Heavyweight, Doesn’t Want to Fight Jon Jones (Fightline)

- Whatever the lady on the left is doing, I want her job. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Ronda Rousey Won’t Fight at 145 Due to Trust Issues With Drug Testing (BloodyElbow)

- Dana White Opens Up About His Only Regret — His Offensive Tirade From 2009 (MMAWeekly)

- MMA: Inside the Cage 114: “Faber Stifles the Count” (MMA:ITC)

- 30 Minutes to 3-D Shoulders (MensFitness)

- Beef of the Day: Mitt Romney vs. LeVar Burton (Complex)

- The 50 Weirdest Engagement Portraits Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

- Chefs of Anarchy Episode 1: Pig’s Head Dumplings (MadeMan)

- 69 Depraved Frank Reynolds GIFs (ScreenJunkies)

- 25 Stunning Photos of Planes Flying Past the Moon (EgoTV)

(Now if only Ronda could play the saxophone…)

It’s hard to imagine that bits and pieces can still impress you so much once you’ve seen the whole thing, but that is clearly the case for Ronda Rousey. The Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight champ recently stripped down to this little number for the cover of women’s fitness magazine Oxygen , and according to the tweet she sent out that accompanied it, her photos were apparently “deemed too sexy” for a magazine whose covers often look like this:

Picture shot by @paulbuceta (http://paulbuceta.com ) deemed “too sexy” to use for @oxygen_magazine 

Say what you want about Rousey being a one-trick pony in the ring, but she is clearly coming into her own as a model. I mean, just look at her face here. It’s seductive, yet controlled, inviting yet distanced, like a stripper who is trying to act interested as you complain to her about those damned TPS reports. This woman is clearly well-rounded in the art of looking hot.

All we’re saying is if this fighting thing doesn’t ever take off for Ms. Rousey, she has a solid career to fall back on.

-J. Jones

(Oh man. That kick was about six inches away from being the greatest DQ of all time.)

In case you missed Saturday night’s action, we’ve compiled 12 of UFC 152‘s best highlights in GIF form, from the gnarly stoppages to the memorable post-fight moments. Follow the “next page” links starting after the jump, or just use the direct links below. Special thanks to BloodyElbow and Cameldog for the hookups.

Jon Jones vs. Vitor Belfort
Cub Swanson vs. Charles Oliveira
Vinny Magalhães vs. Igor Pokrajac
Intermission: Ronda and Royce
Michael Bisping vs. Brian Stann
TJ Grant vs. Evan Dunham
Matt Hamill’s corner mix-up
Kyle Noke vs. Charlie Brenneman
Seth Baczynski vs. Simeon Thoresen

(“Ronda, do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong body? Like, maybe your real gender isn’t the one that everybody sees? Oh. Okay. No, I don’t either, I was just asking. Hey, look, Pinkberry.”)

You can tell when UFC president Dana White is excited, because he swears slightly more than he usually does. Here’s what he had to say last week about his recent platonic play-date with Ronda Rousey (via MMAFighting):

“I took Ronda Rousey to the Sons of Anarchy premiere the other day. And you know how Hollywood premieres are with (expletive) people lined up and down the streets. You got the red carpet. So we pull up and you got all the Sons guys, and all the celebrities that are there from FX TV shows. We got out of the car and the whole (expletive) place started screaming ‘Ronda, Ronda, Ronda,’ like (expletive) crazy. Like a (expletive) Kardashian got out of the car. I was like holy (expletive) (expletive) this girl is right there.

“She’s a (expletive) unique individual. She’s like a Diaz brother. She really is. Inside like a (expletive) dude trapped in this beautiful body. The reason I got interested in women’s MMA is because of her…everyone is like it’s cause she’s good-looking and ‘Dana blah-blah.’ Gina Carano is good-looking too. She’s very pretty. There’s (expletive) something different about Ronda Rousey.

(Seen here: The WMMA fight that men and women around the world would *definitely* tune in to.) 

If we know anything about Strikeforce female bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey, it’s that she is not one to let go of a grudge. On the heels of yet another dominant armbar finish over Sarah Kaufman in August, Rousey was quick to call out the roided-up thorn in her side that the general public knows as Cris Cyborg. As it turned out, Cyborg had been removed from the building beforehand, but the table was nonetheless set for possibly the biggest fight in WMMA history. The only problem with this matchup appeared to be Cyborg’s insistence that she simply could not cut the weight necessary to challenge Rousey for her title. Rousey was also adamant about her desire to stay at 135, and the two have been locked in a stalemate ever since.

But that hasn’t stopped either party from continuing the endless war of words with one another. True to form, Rousey has lobbed significantly more verbal bombs at Cyborg as of late, mainly in regard to her past steroid use. Her most recent attacks took place on The MMA Hour:

If you can make 145 [pounds] while you’re super juiced out, you can make 135 if you’re clean.

Cyborg has never had a fair fight. If you really look at it, she’s had fights where she came in and outweighed the other girl by 12 pounds and then they still fought. This girl has a long history of cheating and using drugs, and coming in overweight, and no one’s ever put their foot down ever about it.

While Rousey has every right to criticize Cyborg’s history, to say that she’s never had a fair fight seems a bit audacious on her part. Sure, the opponents placed before Cyborg were little more than lambs being led to the killing field, lambs who stood next to no chance of beating Cyborg in this or any other dimension, but….we forgot what point we were trying to make. In any case, while we’re on the subject of audacious claims, Rousey followed up her anti-Cyborg rant by claiming that a fight with the former Strikeforce featherweight women’s champ would be “the biggest fight in MMA history.”

Those comments are after the jump. 

(Props: ricomix3000 via BloodyElbow)

It’s cool, we can say that about UFC president Dana White because he says it himself in this video. Of course, if we also said that Dana was “hunched over like a bridge-troll,” well that would just be hurtful and inappropriate.

So here’s Dana posing with his favorite female fighter Ronda Rousey at a premiere for the new season of the FX biker drama Sons of Anarchy. I’ll say one thing about DW: Whenever he does a photo-op with an attractive woman, he doesn’t act like a hover-handing sissy. He leans in and grabs a piece. Best perk of the job, if you ask me.

(“Great to have you aboard, Sara! Now what size latex bodysuit do you wear?”)

By George Shunick

In a press release distributed yesterday, upstart women’s MMA promotion Invicta FC announced that they were sending bantamweight contender Sara McMann to Strikeforce. McMann is a perfect 6-0 in MMA — including wins over Shayna Baszler, Hitomi Akano, and Tonya Evinger — and won a silver medal in women’s freestyle wrestling at the 2004 Olympics in Athens. McMann was originally slated to fight for Invicta’s bantamweight title in her next appearance, but now that she is in Strikeforce, a title shot against Ronda Rousey seems quite plausible if she can make it through her first fight. Neither the date nor opponent for McMann’s Strikeforce debut have been announced yet.

It’s not every day that a fight promotion willingly sends one of its top contenders and budding stars to a competing promotion. However, according to President Shannon Knapp, Invicta’s goals aren’t based on hanging on to specific fighters:

(God damn it, Tim. We will never forgive you for this.)

We envisioned this week’s CagePotato Roundtable as a friendly take-down of everything from “Hello Japan!” to Tito Ortiz’s brief and terrifying career as a post-fight interviewer. But then a funny thing happened — the UFC canceled their first event of the Zuffa era due to a very unexpected decision by one of their champions, and the world exploded. The Jon Jones/UFC 151 fallout and much more will be covered in today’s column, so grab a beverage and get comfortable. And as always, if you have a topic idea for a future Roundtable, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Seth Falvo

“World Combat League, bro. It already exists.”

In the perfect MMA Universe I envision whenever I eat enough Lotus Leaf, these words are uttered directly to MMA’s Vince Russo, Bob Meyrowitz, while he’s looking for investors for the mind-numbingly ridiculous YAMMA Pit Fighting. Upon hearing them, Bob decides to become a jaded boxing promoter, World Combat League is still the only promotion that uses a bowl as the fight surface and we are all spared the most stupid, embarrassing, gimmicky event since Heroes of Wrestling. Also in this universe: The Super Hulk division is recognized by the UFC as a real weight class, Paulo Filho never touches the GHB, Fedor knocks out Brock Lesnar and then retires as a UFC Heavyweight Champion and Chael Sonnen never attempts that freaking backfist. Who says us nerds don’t know how to party?

Of course, reality is a cruel mistress, and YAMMA Pit Fighting ended up happening despite the best efforts of an injury curse. Much like the aforementioned Heroes of Wrestling, Meyrowitz attempted to cash in on our love of nostalgia by booking a bunch of aging has-beens, never-weres, nobodies and ne’er-do-wells to compete in the promotion’s inaugural event. Never mind that half of the roster hasn’t been relevant in a decade (using “relevant” as loosely as possible in some cases), or that one of the fighters was best known for getting knocked out by a leg kick, or that another fighter was best known to casual fans for his stint on Celebrity Rehab; they’re going to brawl, you guys! Add on one of Brock Lesnar’s Team Deathclutch punching bags, the cheapest journeyman-for-hire you can find, an obese former Toughman Contest champion and some obscure Russians who dabble at sambo — because, you know, Fedor — and we’ll have all the tools for an exciting bankruptcy case after no one watches this. Tack on the incredibly cheesy, stuck-in-the-mid-90s “On the streets it’s against the law — in the pit it is the law” tagline, and laissez les bons temps rouler.

(WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOAMING OF THE MOUTH ALLOWED IN THIS ARENA?!)

You might recall that in the immediate aftermath of Ronda Rousey’s win over Sarah Kaufman last weekend, “Rowdy” called out former women’s featherweight champion Cris Cyborg. Unlike past Strikeforce events, Cyborg was not allowed to enter the ring and cause a full-fledged riot for our entertainment, and in fact was actually removed from her seat in the audience before the fight even started.

Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the California State Athletic Commission has a rule declaring that any fighter under a current suspension is not allowed inside to be at a professional mixed martial arts event. Cyborg shared your current confusion while she was being removed form the audience, telling Tatame in a recent interview:

I watched all fights but on the last one, Ronda’s, a woman working on the event came to tell me I had to leave because the commission doesn’t accept suspended athletes on the shows. My manager talked to the guys at the commission and there’s really a law that says that.

I was upset for the way they treated me. They could’ve pulled me on a corner and told me, not in front of the fans. I was taking pictures and they interrupted me, saying I had to go. It was very disrespectful. I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone knows an athlete’s life isn’t easy, so all fighters deserve respect. When I was in Brazil I watched UFC and there was no problem.

An odd rule indeed, made all the more unusual by the fact that the commission decided to wait until the main event to inform Cyborg that she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, which is the equivalent of letting a homeless man wander into your dinner party uninvited and waiting until the nightcap to kick him out.

More news on the Cyborg/Rousey match is after the jump.

(Well, at least she has looking hot in front of a camera as a fallback career.) 

Although the main card of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card provided most of the evening’s highlights, you would be hard pressed to find an MMA site that didn’t declare Miesha Tate’s come-from-behind win (insert puns now) over Julie Kedzie to be the most exciting fight of the evening. Despite being rocked on various occasions and almost ending up as the first entry in the head-kick-nip-slip Hall of Fame, Tate was able to brave the storm and score an armbar victory of her own late in the third round.

But up until that point, it was plain to see that there was clearly something a little off about the former title holder. Her combinations came few and far between, and her takedown attempts seemed to be lacking a certain gusto that they had previously held. While part of this could be attributed to the toughness of Kedzie, who has been training at Greg Jackson’s gym for some time now (and is in fact his personal assistant), an equal amount could just as easily be blamed on Tate’s somewhat lackadaisical attitude in the cage on Saturday night.

The fact that she still managed to pull off an amazing, gritty win over a tough opponent despite this only shows what caliber of fighter Tate truly is, but according to the source herself, we might not be seeing “Cupcake” in action for a while. In a recent interview with Ariel Helwani during The MMA Hour, Tate explained that she simply “didn’t feel the passion and fire that [she] had felt in her previous fights” when facing Kedzie:

I felt out of my element, I didn’t feel normal in there whatsoever. It was very strange, it was not a feeling I enjoyed and not something I want to experience again, I don’t really know what my next step is here. Even when I was when lined up with Julie, across the cage, I was like, ‘Is this really happening right now? Am I really here? Am I really in this fight?’ I felt like I was kind of just in this twilight zone. I did not like that. It’s not how I normally feel, not how emotions really run. Normally I’m excited to be there, I’m amped and pumped, and I felt little to nothing, and I mean, she literally elbowed me and got my lip really good and I was like ‘ehh, whatever.’ She kicked me in the face, ‘ehh, whatever,’ It was not, it wasn’t a normal circumstance for me I don’t know why that is but I’m asking myself a lot of questions. I think I need to take a step back, relax a minute, and evaluate it. 

More from this interview is after the jump.

(Yeah, it’s basically a teacher’s salary, but putting a smile on Judo Gene‘s face makes it all worthwhile.)

Strikeforce paid out $368,000 in total disclosed salaries to the fighters who competed on Saturday’s Rousey vs. Kaufman card, with Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza eating up over a quarter of the total, the greedy bastard. Actually, Souza’s $94,000 paycheck was odd in that his win bonus was only about 30% of his to-show money, rather than the full 100% that almost everybody else on the Zuffa payroll gets.

The night’s biggest star Ronda Rousey only earned a $40,000 purse — I know, ladies, I know — though it was still enough to put her in second place on the event’s cash-money leaderboard. Check out the full salary list after the jump, and keep in mind that these figures don’t include additional revenue from sponsorships and undisclosed “locker room bonuses,” or deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees.

Ronda Rousey: $40,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)
Sarah Kaufman: $17,000

Ronaldo Jacare Souza: $94,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
Derek Brunson: $13,000

(Beltran, as re-imagined by Sega.)

Last weekend’s Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card was easily one of the most entertaining top-to-bottom cards in recent memory, providing us with a lightning quick (also, completely predictable) finish in the main event and an even quicker knockout in the co-main. But as is typical for a Strikeforce event, the night was not without controversy and a few judgmental errors. Herb Dean went completely against character when he botched the call in the Adlan Amagov/Keith Barry fight, and the decision to place former title challenger Meisha Tate’s comeback bout against Julie Kedzie on the prelims was nothing short of baffling.

But greater than witnessing Ronda Rousey‘s sixth straight first round armbar, greater even than OSP’s one-punch knockout of T.J. Cook, was that of referee Mike Beltran’s epic mustache. An “epistache” if you will. Why Beltran decided to become a referee instead of claiming his place atop the Whisker Wars podium is beyond us, but his hard work and dedication can not and will not be overlooked by us here at CagePotato. So join us after the jump for a brief GIF tribute to Beltran’s glorious stache, along with several gifs from the night’s fights, courtesy of the UG.

By Elias Cepeda

MMA fans have always wondered what would happen if the sport grew to the point where it could attract the types of elite athletes that have historically gone to, say, the NFL or the Olympics. Surely once that happened, we’d see a marked rise in athleticism and potential in the sport we all love.

Well, that new breed of elite MMA athlete has arrived. He isn’t the dominant and other worldly athletic Jon Jones. He isn’t the pound for pound great and all-around lethal weapon Georges St. Pierre. She’s Ronda Rousey.

The Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion successfully defended her title again Saturday night against Sarah Kaufman. In about the last year and half the Olympic Judo bronze medalist Rousey has had her first six professional fights, winning all six by arm bar in the first round.

Kaufman couldn’t last a minute in the cage with Rousey before being forced to tap out. The thing is, Kaufman is a damn good fighter. So is Miesha Tate, Rousey’s prior victim.

Kaufman is a former champion and has only lost twice in her career. Tate has only lost three times. Both women have almost three times the professional MMA experience as Rousey.

“Rowdy” Ronda isn’t perfectly well-rounded yet. She hasn’t been tested in a fight yet and she simply hasn’t fought nearly as much as the women she faces. But she’s been able to dominate them all because she brings a lifetime of doing a couple things at a higher level than even most MMA champions have ever done anything.

(Props: jd45681 via fightvideomma. If this one goes down, there’s a backup after the jump.)

To quote ourselves: We’re not going to give away the winner of Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Kaufman, but let’s just say it ended by armbar in the first round. Goodness gracious. If you missed our liveblog of tonight’s Strikeforce card, click here.

(“You want to go somewhere else? That creepy fat guy has been staring at us all night.” / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more pics from this set, click here.)

Tonight, we’re gonna have ourselves a real good time, we feel ali-hi-hi-hiiiive. Ronda Rousey — the lightning-rod heel-champion of women’s MMA — will attempt to defend her Strikeforce 135-pound title against former champ Sarah Kaufman, most likely by first-round armbar. (The winner will face Cris Cyborg immediately afterwards in the parking lot.) Before that, we’ve got a bunch of men’s fights that seem way less interesting by comparison. For instance, former Strikeforce middleweight champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza is in the co-main event spot against 9-1 middleweight Derek “The Human Blanket (!)” Brunson, while Tarec Saffiedine, Roger Bowling, Lumumba Sayers, and Ovince St. Preux round out the crew of featured fighters who you might have heard of before.

Handling the thankless job of spelling out all these names in tonight’s liveblog is CagePotato weekend warrior Anthony Gannon, who will be providing round-by-round results from the Showtime main card broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest and please make your presence known in the comments section.

(Yeah, and Sarah Kaufman scored the cover of Respectful Canadians Weekly, but does anyone seem to care? Nooooooo.)

While we don’t expect the kind of forehead-jockeying that Ronda Rousey got into with Miesha Tate back in March, it’ll be interesting to see what kind of shape the Strikeforce bantamweight champion is in going into her title defense against Sarah Kaufman tomorrow night. You can watch the weigh-ins for the entire Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman card in the player after the jump, live from San Diego. The first fighter will hit the scale at 6:45 p.m. ET / 3:45 p.m PT. Let us know what you think. Here, we’ll give you a discussion topic: The male fighters are a complete afterthought for this event — does that say more about the progress of women in MMA, or the supporting card‘s utter mediocrity?

(From left to right: Ronda Rousey, Blaze Ya Dead Homie. / Ronda image via CombatLifestyle)

With her Strikeforce title defense against Sarah Kaufman coming up this weekend, Ronda Rousey’s latest bit of fight-hype was so violently over-the-top that it made Frank Mir look downright sportsmanlike in comparison. Here’s what Rowdy told reporters during yesterday’s Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman press conference:

“Sarah Kaufman should be thanking her lucky stars that MMA is properly regulated in California. I respect her so much that I’m not taking any chances: If i get her in an armbar I’m going to try and rip it off and throw it at her corner, if I get her in a choke I’m going to hold it until she’s actually dead. And if I get a knockout I’m going to actually try and pound her face into the ground. She’s relying on the competence of the California athletic commission to walk out of that cage alive. That has nothing to do with whether I like her or respect her, she seems like a nice chick, but I go into every fight like my little sister’s life is depending on it. And in that kind of situation, no one can ever beat me.”

Wow. If this fighting thing doesn’t work out, Ronda might have a future as an artist signed to Psychopathic Records. Luckily, Kaufman was relatively cool and insightful about the whole thing, saying:

(“Nothing comes between me and my Baconator. Nothing.”)

By Jason Moles

In the ever-competitive world of professional mixed martial arts, the men and women are fighting for more than just the fans and their next paycheck; they’re fighting for survival. When you barely have enough money left for yourself after paying your training partners, coaches, and buying nutritional supplements, it’s time to find another source of income. Most do this in the way of sponsorships — you know, like the Nike deal Jon Jones recently signed, or Anderson Silva’s relationship with Burger King. And if more of these well-known mainstream companies would sponsor a few fighters, the smaller companies that currently sponsor fighters could move to guys and gals who are still making their way up the ranks without anyone losing out. Let’s look at the companies that best suit MMA, how they should be involved, and why it makes sense.

Company: Old Spice
Ideal fighter to sponsor: Cheick Kongo, Alistair Overeem

Why it makes sense: Standing 6′ 4″ and weighing 230 pounds, and 6′ 5″/263, respectively, the Frenchman and the Dutchman are the most physically imposing fighters in the UFC’s heavyweight division. Old Spice is known for their funny commercials targeting the same audience watching PPV’s on a Saturday night. In the past, Old Spice has used NFL players Brian Urlacher and Ray Lewis as spokesman for their ‘Swagger’ line of men’s body products, as well as jacked Expendables cast-member Terry Crews. And if those guys can do it, why not Kongo and Overeem? In particular, “The Demolition Man” is the type of guy you want your customers to think they’ll be more like by using your product. Alistair could even make his commercial debut by eating the horse the original Old Spice Guy rode in on.

(Beneath that skin-tight cat suit lies a quiet, innocent girl who just wants some alone time. And beneath her lies a limb-destroying human bear trap.)

Have you ever wondered what it must be like behind-the-scenes of a staredown for a fight promo? Surely the tension must be insurmountable, with members of each fighter’s crew present on set to separate the two between each take. Well, if the latest Showtime episode of All Access: Ronda Rousey is any indication, the fighters actually choose to discuss how bad they smell to one another, all the while trying to remain serious while the camera is rolling.

Challenger Sarah Kaufman is the first to break the ice, declaring that her “left armpit smells,” whereas Ronda admits that she probably smells “like leprosy” as a result of her catsuit-clad antics she participated in just moments before. We know, we know, you all just went from six to midnight.

Anyway, so begins the second episode of All Access, which delves further into the training strategies of both the champion and the challenger. Where Rousey is content to hit the pads with Richard Perez in between sessions at Team Cesar Gracie, Kaufman prefers to just bang on the drum kit a little and punch bitches in the face. An interesting, if not unorthodox strategy.

And things get really interesting around the six-minute mark, where Ronda receives the first copies of her ESPN “The Body” Issue. Even she seems impressed by her own hotness, as well as the fact that ESPN showed far more butt than she expected (Author’s note: Thanks guys, it’s good to know all those “incentives” we sent you were not in vain.) 

Full video after the jump. 

(Those shorts used to be full-length pants, until somebody made her angry. / Photo via TitoCouture)

Nine months into her year-long steroid suspension, former Strikeforce featherweight champion Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino (or whatever she’s going by these days) made an appearance on MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour yesterday, where she discussed her desire to get it on with bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey when she’s back in action.

There’s just one small problem. As Cyborg told host Ariel Helwani, cutting to Rousey’s weight class of 135 pounds would be a physical impossibility for the Brazilian banger, who’s currently walking around at a lean 160. But maybe Ronda could meet her halfway? As Cyborg explained:

“I really wanna fight Ronda. I really want to. She says bad things about me. I never say bad things about my opponent. I want to do my best in the Octagon, and if she says she wants to fight me, she can come to my weight or at 140…She started at 145. And she’s running to 135. She’s running to not fight me. And after, she speaks a lot of s— about me. I want to fight her soon. I’m very excited to fight her. And when we’re in the Octagon, we’ll see if she says anything. And if she says anything, I can punch her.”

We’re not sure, but we think that the gal in the above video calling herself Sarah Kaufman‘s “number one fan,” is actually Strikeforce champion Ronda Rousey. Kaufman challenges Rousey for her 135lb women’s title belt on August 18th in San Diego and we think the champ might be having a lil fun with this video.

Rousey Kaufman’s super fan goes on for nearly four minutes talking about what a bad, entitled attitude the Strikeforce champ and Judo Olympic medalist has, as demonstrated by her career ambition. There’s also a weird dude taping and joining in on the fun in the video, and then Rousey Judo flips and “arm bars” a vacuum cleaner. Like most things Rousey does, it is impressive, scary and hot.

Really, we have no idea what she’s doing in the video but we still watched it and so should you. After the jump, video of Rousey Judo-flipping and arm barring Bas Rutten. Just because.

Not to overexpose you to Strikeforce champion Ronda Rousey (as if that were possible) but we just saw a clip of her recent appearance on the Conan O’Brien show and she caught our eye and ear. Conan asked Ronda if women fighters stick to the old maxim prevalent in male fight camps – no sex before a fight.

Ronda, bless her soul, said that rule was rubbish for women. In fact, she said, sex is good for women (told you, Lindsey!) fighters (oh, ok) before a fight because it increases their testosterone. She also said that although she doesn’t know the science behind it, it might be that women suck it out of men during sex…alright.

(No, this is not the ‘All Access’ video, but rather a behind-the-scenes video of her ESPN ‘The Body’ shoot. Go ahead and complain. I DARE YOU.)

“Everything you need in a fighter, she has, yet she’s a woman and she’s beautiful. The Ronda Rousey package is different than any other package we’ve ever seen.”

So says UFC President Dana White as he leads us into Showtime’s “All Access” look at the Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion, Olympic Judo bronze medalist, and occasional TMZ host Ronda Rousey, who in just over two years has managed to almost effortlessly ascend to the sport’s highest level. And it’s hard to deny that “Rowdy” is an athlete unlike many, if not all of her counterparts — a hot female Jon Jones if you will — whose “kill or be killed” outlook on life (and aforementioned looks) has led her to achieve massive success in easily the most overlooked facet of MMA. We’re talking of course, about the ladies.

Detailing everything from Rousey’s heated title-earning feud with Meisha Tate (Spoiler: It ended like all of Rousey’s fights do) to her (gulp) nude shoot for ESPN’s The Body issue to her preparation for her upcoming title defense against Sarah Kaufman, “All Access” truly lives up to it’s name. Showtime takes us inside the champion’s house, which looks like an average episode of Hoarders, and snags interviews with everyone from Gina Carano, who Ronda admits convinced her to drop trau for ESPN in the first place (as if we needed to thank Gina for anything else) to former HooknShoot Grand Prix winner Julie Kedzie.

So check out the full video after the jump, and let us know what you think.

(Props: facebook.com/StrikeforceMixedMartialArts. Click for larger versions.)

Between verbally assaulting Kim Kardashian, dissing Michael Phelps/swimmers in general, getting in some mitt-work with Carmen Electra, and threatening to make Steven Seagal shit his pants again, it’s impressive that tabloid darling Ronda Rousey would even have time to promote her next Strikeforce title defense against Sarah Kaufman, which goes down August 18th in San Diego. Nevertheless, Strikeforce recently released these photos of their golden girl, which were taken during the same shoot for their glossy “Rousey vs. Kaufman” promo commercial.

Look, we at CagePotato will welcome any photos of Ronda Rousey wearing a black latex bodysuit with open minds and open hearts. Let’s just hope she’s spending as much time in the gym as she is in front of the camera, because as Brandon Vera so tragically demonstrated, believing your own hype is the quickest way to get knocked off your perch.

After the jump: Ronda Rousey hosts an entire episode of TMZ, because that’s what she does now.