(Props: TitoCouture.com / Click for larger version.)

Let’s get one thing straight — Carmen Electra has been an MMA fan longer than you have. So I guess these photos of Ronda Rousey giving Dennis Rodman’s ex-wife a striking lesson shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise; Carmen has always like to stay in shape, after all. But still…whose idea was this? What did these two have to talk about, outside of perhaps a mutual distaste for Kim Kardashian? And what does it feel like to be hit by Carmen Electra, anyway? Does she put her legs into those punches, or is she as noodle-armed as Paris Hilton? Where’s the goddamned video?

Check out two more photos after the jump, and see a few more right here.

(For Christ’s sake, just kiss and make up already!) 

Who saw this coming? Hint: everybody.

Ever since the photos of Ronda Rousey’s nude pictorial for the second edition of ESPN’s “The Body” issue were released, a moment that was responsible for more cases of sudden onset carpal tunnel syndrome than the day Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s sex tape was “stolen” from their home, the Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champ has come under a bit of fire from some of her critics. While many of us passed it off as a classic case of “angry troll is angry,” it was hard to look past the fact that most of the criticism was a result of former claims made by none other than Rousey herself. Most notably, Rousey’s statements that Miesha Tate should be ashamed for taking pictures that showed off her pristine hind end and what her future kids would think and blah blah blah. Rousey also ripped on a few selective ring girls who shall remain nameless for posing in Playboy magazine, a.k.a the glove into which Evil slips its hand.

Of course, “Rowdy’s” previous statements came back and bit her right in her glorious ass when her own nude photos were released. Her confusing diatribe aimed at Kim Kardashian, in which Rousey stated that she had the right to pose nude because she was a role model and Kim didn’t because she only became famous for getting naked and Skechers shoes and 13 year-olds and something or other who cares, surely didn’t help matters. Ronda even willingly appeared on the television frequency at which human scum resides, TMZ, to lay into Kardashian, a move that we feel may have just evened the scales between the two in terms of attention whoring.

But at the end of the day, we were grateful that Ronda used whatever justification she needed to get naked for us, and thought the rest of the world should think the same. One person who clearly didn’t agree with us was the woman Rousey defeated for the bantamweight championship just a couple months ago, Miesha Tate, who recently let Ronda have it over Twitter.

Those comments are after the jump. 

Props: ESNEWS

I know that Ronda Rousey has been training with the Diaz brothers. I didn’t realize that they were also teaching her how to give an interview. Okay, so maybe Ronda has always been the female Nick Diaz when it comes to these sorts of things. But spending time with the real Nick Diaz has really made this take a turn for the hilarious.

Elie Seckbach caught up with Ronda Rousey at the ESPN Body Issue wrap-up party for an interview. At the beginning, Rousey is showing blatant hostility towards her interviewers over their apparent question about what celebrities she would like to fight [Ed Note: Come on, Nick. You mean you didn't teach her that it's their job to instigate fights quite a bit?]. After attempting to avoid the question, Rousey manages to think of a celebrity she’d like to fight: Kim “Famous For Sucking Dick” Kardashian.

In her own words:

(Mad props: ESPN. Click for larger version.)

ESPN has released the 2012 edition of their “Body Issue,” and Strikeforce bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey is not only featured nude in the massive pictorial, she actually landed one of the covers! Holy crap! Check out Ronda’s frontal shot after the jump — which reveals a tattoo that I bet you didn’t know existed — and let us know if the photos met your high expectations.

Also? My God this Maya Gabeira.

(Four badasses…and Tim Tebow. / Click for full-size version. Props: TerezOwens)

- Michael Bisping Says Chael Sonnen Will Defeat Anderson Silva at UFC 148 (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Mike Tyson Says MMA Fighters Should Be Paid More, But Warns of Predatory ‘Scumbags’ (MMAFighting)

- Britney and Arianny’s Exclusive 4th of July Photo Shoot (The Chive)

- Video: Chael Sonnen Watches Himself Lose to Anderson Silva at UFC 117 (MMAMania)

- Chad Mendes Says Loss To Jose Aldo Helped Him, Discusses Aldo vs. Koch (Fightline)

- Strikeforce Champ Rousey Enlists Lucia Rijker as Striking Coach Ahead of Kaufman Bout (MMAJunkie)

- The Top 5 UFC Rematches Of All Time (HeavyMMA)

- Chael Sonnen Says He’ll Die Without TRT (FightersOnly)

- The Sickest Athletes of the 2012 NBA Draft (MensFitness)

- DV Hottie of the Week: Genevieve, a Gorgeous Blonde (DoubleViking)

- How Will Scientology Assassinate Katie Holmes? A Screen Junkies How-To (ScreenJunkies)

- 7 Reality Shows That Could Be the Best Shows Ever (HolyTaco)

(It may not be the most conventional fight attire, but we’ll give Miesha a ton of fap style points for the effort.) 

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a few short months since Miesha Tate nearly had her arm torn in two by Ronda Rousey in the their bantamweight championship showdown on March 3rd. It was undoubtedly one of the most heated (not to mention hyped) fights in WMMA history, and did not disappoint once the caged door closed. As it turns out, despite the fact that Meisha ended up coming short and losing her belt in the process, the fight didn’t even come close to squashing the beef between her and Rousey. How appropriate then, that it was recently announced that the former champ has been booked to take on Julie Kedzie at the same event that Rousey will attempt to defend her belt for the first time against Sarah Kaufman.

Is this just an attempt by Strikeforce to pack as many exciting fights as possible into their ever-decreasing number of cards, or rather an elaborate ploy to set up another post fight brawl that will in turn hype the inevitable rematch between Rousey and Tate?

(In honor of MMAInsidetheCage‘s 100th episode, they put together their 100 favorite knockouts featured on the show. Incredible.)

- Forrest Griffin: ‘Tito [Ortiz] Was Jon Jones Before There Was A Jon Jones’ (Fightline)

- After Nearly Losing Toe In Training Injury, Tim Kennedy Set for Second Crack at Belt (MMAFighting)

- Rashad Evans Willing to Drop to 185 Pounds for Fight With Anderson Silva (FiveOuncesofPain)

- Ronda Rousey Featured Nude in ESPN Body Issue (HeavyMMA)

- Ahead of Title Shot, Strikeforce’s Nate Marquardt Says He Feels Great Without TRT (MMAJunkie)

- Melvin Guillard Exclusive: A Man Living in Memory of His Father (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Video: Chuck Norris Imports Gracie Family in 1988 to Train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
(MMAMania)

- ‘Ted’ Star Mark Wahlberg is Greater Than the Sum of His Parts (MensFitness)

- The Man’s Guide to Survival in a Post-Apocalyptic World (DoubleViking)

- 6 People Who Will Ruin Your 4th of July Party (HolyTaco)

- An In-Depth Profile of a Lady Who Makes Fart Fetish Videos (FilmDrunk)

- Hey, Have You Seen That Video of the Bulgarian Sprinter’s Leg Shattering? (Break.com)

(Soon.)

How terrible is the state of Strikeforce’s marketing department? Well, if relying on the acting abilities of Frank Shamrock to promote their upcoming events (which I will admit I found a little more humorous than most) wasn’t bad enough, it seems that they have moved onto phase two of Operation Penny Scrape: reusing footage from previous promos. So goes the trailer for Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman, which begins with the same footage from the Rousey vs. Tate promo that we previously commended. It even goes as far as to use a shot of Miesha Tate clenching her fists before rapidly cutting to Kaufman, like we are all Alzheimer’s patients who couldn’t spot dat ass in our sleep.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Ann is lucky Bas didn’t have a salt shaker or a bar stool handy, or this would’ve gone down WAY differently.) 

If you are one of those conspiracy theorists out there who believe that Ronda Rousey sold her soul to the devil for the Ultimate Armbar of Absolute Victory (perhaps we’re naming that a little soon), then it’s time for a wake up call. Aside from Ronda’s extensive judo background, her ability to maim and disfigure her female counterparts is equal parts experience and genetics. Because believe it or not, her mother, Dr. Ann Maria Rousey DeMars, was the first American woman to ever win a World Judo Championship. How’d she do it, you ask? Mainly through the help of her friends; Harai Goshi, Uchi Mata, and Mr. Armbar.

Well Taters, it seems that Ronda’s mom has taken some time out of her busy schedule to bestow some knowledge upon us all, via her personal blog. Today’s lesson is titled “How to do a Perfect Armbar.” Enjoy:

Join us after the jump to get your knowledge on. 

(The “Hipster Assassin” has shattered bones that you probably haven’t heard of yet. / Photo via @rondarousey)

Five months after snatching Strikeforce’s 135-pound women’s title with her gruesome/awesome arm-bending win over Miesha Tate, Ronda Rousey will attempt to make her first belt-defense against Sarah Kaufman on August 18th in San Diego. MMAFighting.com confirmed the news, which should be officially announced by the promotion in the coming weeks.

No other fights for the 8/18 card have been reported yet, and the venue hasn’t been announced, although Strikeforce’s last two stops in San Diego — for Melendez vs. Masvidal and Diaz vs. Daley — went down at the Valley View Casino.

If Rousey can armbar her way through Kaufman, she may earn the dubious honor of facing Cris Cyborg in her next defense. As Scott Coker recently explained: ”I think (a fight between Rousey and Cyborg) is going to be inevitable. I think that fight will happen at some point. We’re just waiting for Cyborg to get off her suspension but that conversation will happen once she’s back ready to fight because her and Ronda at 135-pounds? That might be the highest rated show on Showtime for the year or for the past fights we’ve done. Women’s fights always rate well on Showtime and Ronda’s always delivered.”

So, two questions…

It is a pretty well known fact that we here at CP base our love of female MMA fighters on three things; how they look at the weigh-ins, their willingness to talk trash on the level of their male counterparts, and lastly (and perhaps most importantly), their ability to pull off a beautiful armbar when called upon. Is that shallow, trivial, and more than a bit chauvinistic? Of course it is, but when have we ever been anything but? It’s also no coincidence that Ronda Rousey can do all of those things in her sleep (seriously, we’ve seen her do all three from our window-side perch), hence our absolute devotion to her brand of sexy, arm-destroying justice.

Well, it appears that the gauntlet has been thrown down (at least in the latter category), as Danielle West managed to pull off a beautiful step over/modified flying armbar on Irina Mollukwu in the absolute finals of the Grapplers Showdown No Gi London Open last weekend. The end came just over a minute into their scrap, and was so impressive that even Ms. Rousey would agree with us if she hadn’t filed that restraining order.

Currently 4-3 in her professional MMA career, it appears as if “The Curse” has a bright road ahead of her if she can manage to pull off these kinds of shenanigans inside the cage. Anyone agree?

Check out a full video of the match after the jump. 

In June 2010, we posted a list of the ten greatest fighters who had yet to take a loss. By November 2011, none of their perfect records were still intact, proving once again what a cruel bitch this sport is. Half of the fighters on our original list — Shane Carwin (#1), Megumi Fujii (#2), Ryan Bader (#6), Evan Dunham (#7), and Lyle Beerbohm (#10) — have even lost *twice* since then. So we decided to start over from scratch and come up with a new ranking of undefeated MMA fighters. Check it out, and let us know who you think will hold onto their ’0′ the longest. -BG

#1: DANIEL CORMIER (10-0, six wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Jeff Monson at Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum (UD), Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (KO R1), Josh Barnett at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Cormier (UD)

Next fight: TBA

The former collegiate wrestling star and Olympic competitor went through hell to get to where he is today. Less than three years after kicking off his MMA career, Cormier battled his way to a career-defining matchup against ex-UFC champ Josh Barnett — a catch-wrestling savant with four times as many fights on his pro record as Cormier — in the finals of Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Grand Prix. But Dan didn’t need to turn the meeting into a grappling match. As he also demonstrated against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva in his previous outing, Cormier packs enough speed and punching-power to win fights with his striking alone. It’s only a matter of time before he enters the UFC to take on the best in the world, and we have a feeling he’ll make an immediate impact.

#2: MICHAEL CHANDLER (10-0, eight wins by stoppage)

Notable victories: Patricky Freire at Bellator 44 (UD), Eddie Alvarez at Bellator 58 (sub R4), Akihiro Gono at Bellator 67 (TKO R1)

Next fight: TBA

Michael Chandler is the perfect example of how a tournament can transform a fighter from unheralded prospect to breakout star. After winning his first two Bellator appearances by swift first-round stoppage in 2010, Chandler was invited to participate in the promotion’s season four lightweight tournament. The Xtreme Couture product sliced through it, starting with a first-round submission of Polish prodigy Marcin Held, and ending with a decision win over knockout artist Patricky “Pitbull” Freire in the finals. Then, Chandler did the unthinkable — he took the lightweight belt from Eddie Alvarez, choking out the formerly untouchable Bellator champ in the fourth round of an insane Fight of the Year candidate last November. (A follow-up non-title match against Akihiro Gono was little more than a one-minute showcase of his killer instinct.) In eight months, Chandler went from 5-0 up-and-comer to newly-minted champion with a win over a top-ten ranked opponent. Is it okay if we use the “meteoric rise” cliché, just this once?

(The truth is, Ronda walked into the gym and Dominick’s knees buckled on their own. / Photo via @RondaRousey)

In light of the sly gamesmanship in that recent Urijah Faber video, UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz went on MMAFighting’s The MMA (After) Hour to explain how his knee injury came about, and that it wasn’t the result of being beat up by a girl. Here’s what he had to say, as transcribed by MMAMania:

“I was in training camp, I had just gotten done with TUF, and I usually get done about 11. I got to practice at 11:30 and I was sparring that day with kickboxing and takedowns and a guy got behind me in a scramble and he went for a trip, the trip, his hips went in on my knee and it just buckled my knee right then and there. I sat out the rest of the round, threw some ice on my knee, it was pretty painful. I was just kind of hoping for the best to be honest. I was hoping and praying that it was nothing crazy because it was a very, very loud pop. I kind of went into denial mode for the rest of that day saying ‘Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine.’ So I took some ibuprofen and that night I went in to get my normal workout in and I go to move around and get my shadowboxing going to warm up and me knee just pops right out. And I just knew right then and there that I needed to go get an MRI and get this checked out because me knee wasn’t stable and it kind of felt like I was walking on ice. I went in and got an MRI that day and got the bad results, the bad news…

Just to shut down some rumors that Faber thinks is funny to start and makes jokes about an Olympic bronze medalist and her taking out my knees. To me it’s not really funny, it’s just another way to know, for the world to know why me and Faber don’t get along. I wasn’t training with her at all. I brought her in to help my team on TUF…

(Unfortunately, there is still no word on the mysterious disappearance of Heidi Androl. Sad.)   

It looks like the speculations that arose in the aftermath of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Tate had some truth behind it, because it has been reported that newly crowned Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey will defend her title against inaugural bantamweight champ Sarah Kaufman. Though no specific date or location has been mentioned, the Strikeforce brass are hoping to have these two throw down sometime in August, and probably in either Nevada or California, as the majority of Strikeforce’s recent cards have been held in those locations.

Rumors of a potential clash between Rousey and Kaufman first started following the pair’s respective wins over Miesha Tate and Alexis Davis on March 13th. “Rowdy” took the considerably easier path to victory, snatching up her fifth consecutive first round armbar in typically gruesome fashion over Tate, whereas Kaufman chose to slug it out with Davis for three rounds in what was one of the most exciting brawls of the year, bar none, and brought home a majority decision victory.

Although Kaufman has a considerable experience and striking advantage over Rousey, her lone loss in sixteen fights has come by way of armbar (to Marloes Coenen in their October 2010 title fight), so expect her to be a considerable underdog coming into this one. As with any fight against Rousey, Kaufman’s only chance will lie in her ability to sprawl-and-brawl with the Olympic judoka, or God forbid take her out of the first round. Then again, we hear Rousey is taking out champions in the men’s division nowadays, so perhaps Kaufman is already dead in the water.

Full fight videos of Kaufman/Davis and Rousey/Tate await you after the jump. 

(“These voices, these voices, I hear them, and when they talk I follow, I follow, I follow…”)

Nothing like a good caption contest to remind us what a funny bunch of sons-of-bitches y’all are. After sifting through nearly 200 submissions, we’ve selected the two winners who will be receiving copies of Chael Sonnen‘s new life-manual, The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment a month before it goes on sale to the general public. But first, some runners-up…

LOKI: Chael struggled to hold back the guilt in his face; he never realized that wishing cancer on Ed Soares would actually work.

tdpwent: Chael and random guy #2 show what a certain brazilian BJJ expert will be doing every night after his failed pick-up attempt.

mcw89138: Chael and Ronda drove 2,000 miles to an undisclosed Starbucks to see for themselves the Internet freak and phenomenon known as “perfect circle head” guy.

BigBalluh: The new season of Two and a Half Men is gonna suck.

Kid Clam Curtains: Not pictured: The knee-high rubber boots they’re wearing for all the bullshit.

Last month, we warned you that Chael Sonnen will soon be dominating your local bookstore, having already conquered the worlds of professional fighting, politics, and athletic commission hearings. His new book is called The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment, and will be available to the general public on May 15th. Amazon.com describes the content in these humble terms:

Sonnen’s commentary and tales of heroic adventure will initiate you into the world of superhuman greatness. Allow him to carry you like a frail damsel through the world of professional mixed martial arts as he cuts weight, deals with moronic cornermen, expresses his disdain for focus mitts and punching in general, gets his face rearranged, and finds support and encouragement from fans. Permit him to cleanse your mind’s palate and teach you the truth about history, politics, endangered species, cinema, terrorists, music, particle accelerators, and his plans for creating a Chaelocracy, which translates as “a Better Earth.” Shower him with praise as he takes you into his manly mitts like a lump of clay and reshapes you in his own likeness. 

Like all men of myth and legend, Sonnen strives for the betterment of the human race. Prometheus brought us fire; Dana White brought us the modern-day gladiator; and Chael P. Sonnen now brings us the step-by-step guide to being a great human being and patriot…There is no better day to stop being you and start trying to be Chael P. Sonnen.

So…who wants to get a copy a month before it comes out?

(Props: twistereddie)

- Singing an R. Kelly love-jam in a thick Portuguese accent while your crush is getting out of the shower? EHHHHH!

- Bragging about your movie/pilot Return of the Death-Knuckle, then humbly following it up with “but you don’t wanna get bored with how much money I’m gonna make, that stuffs, how much fame gonna have for me and for the ladies in my life”? NOOOOOOOOO!

- Desperately offering to give her your “code for MySpace’ee” as she walks away, then beating your head against a wall? Fail upon fail.

Keep your head up, Laranja. There’s other fish in the sea…

(“Is this angry enough for you?”)

Zuffa has been killing it lately with the professional quality of its promos like the one they put out for the Rousey-Tate bout and the “Believe Your Eyes” recap of Jon Jones’ win over Lyoto Machida.

The most recent addition to the list is this pre-UFC 145 spot featuring Rashad Evans, titled “The Payback.” Clips like these remind me of the top-tier promos boxing fans have been spoiled with the past few years. Hopefully they keep making them to keep fans interested when there’s a lull in action like we’ve experienced the past month.

Now we know how fans of sports like hockey, baseball, football and basketball feel.

Check out the short after the jump.

(Upon hearing the news, Tito Ortiz leaked another dick-pic.)

According to a new report from MMAJunkie, Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey will be appearing sans-clothing in ESPN’s next “Body Issue,” which is convenient since we spend so much time picturing her naked anyway. The Body Issue’s parade of naked athletes has previously included Gina Carano (nice!), Jon Jones (not my cup of tea, but whatever!), and Evangelista and Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos (FUUUUUUUU-). Look out for the mag sometime this fall.

(Gentlemen, THIS is what happens when you refer to Ronda as “sugartits.”) 

Well, here you have it, Potato Nation: photographic proof that Bryan Caraway‘s days are numbered.

After nearly taking Miesha Tate’s arm home with her on March 3rd, newly crowned Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight Champ Ronda Rousey will be featured in the April issue of FitnessRX magazine, a health and fitness publication devoted entirely to the ladies. Being that Ronda considers herself the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet (with an emphasis on the “unarmed” aspect), she seems as good a choice as any. Just ask Nick Diaz.

Check out a few more photos of Ms. Rousey after the jump, along with a video interview in which she recalls how she beat up a crew of dudes in a movie theater in full, gory detail. These are the pitfalls of universal suffrage, my brethren.

(Don’t forget: Submissions for our Urijah Faber t-shirt design contest with Punch Buddies must be sent to contest@cagepotato.com by the end of today. Good luck! / California Kid action figure via Ben S.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- TUF 15: Number One Pick Justin Lawrence Looks to Back Up the Hype Against Cristiano Marcello (MMA Mania)

- Inside Dominick Cruz’s Training Camp for UFC 148 Fight With Urijah Faber (Video) (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Dan Hardy Wants To Fight ‘That Blood Thirsty Kill Freak’ Matt Hughes (MMA Convert)

- Remember the Guy Who Got Choked Out by a Girl? Tosh.0 Is Giving Him a Shot at Redemption (MiddleEasy)

- Jon Jones On Rashad Evans Having His Number: ‘He Doesn’t Even Have My Area Code’ (FightLine)

- Bryan Caraway Wouldn’t Be First Guy Ronda Rousey Has Beaten Up (Video) (5th Round)

- Jose Aldo Says He Will Move to 155 Pounds If Frankie Edgar Doesn’t Drop Down (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Josh Barnett Feels TRT Exemptions Don’t Make Sense (The Fight Nerd)

- Cameras Follow “Mayhem” Miller for Morgan Spurlock Documentary (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Hitman-TapouT Lawsuit Heating Up (MMA Payout)

- Mike Kogan Has Had Enough of Rampage’s UFC Complaints (Fight Opinion)

(Once again, we must turn to Rowdy Roddy Piper to lead by example.) 

Although moments were tense in the aftermath of “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey’s brutal first round, title-earning armbar over Miesha Tate, it seemed as if the two competitors had finally found, at the minimum, a newfound respect for one another. Sure, Ronda still referred to Miesha as “fake,” but it seemed like these two had perhaps found a common ground. A close friendship and some drunk photos of them making out seemed to be on the horizon, at least to us.

How optimistic ignorant we were.

It all started when Miesha, who may still have to undergo surgery for the damaged ligaments she suffered in the fight, mind you, requested a rematch with the newly crowned 135 lb. champion, stating the following:

I, personally, would love the opportunity to have a rematch. I think at a high level, it takes one mistake. Anyone can make a mistake at any moment and someone’s able to capitalize on that. I don’t feel that Ronda proved anything other than what she’s already (proved) — that she has one thing that she’s great at. Really phenomenal at. But everything else, I could beat her. Give me another shot. I think it was competitive. I think for the most part I was probably winning. And I think at a competitive high level, one day one person could beat the one person, and the other day the other person would beat the other person.

This statement is…let’s call it ballsy, to say the least. And let’s not get into the fact that, “I think for the most part I was probably winning,” just surpassed Judo Gene LeBell’s “nice big dinner” line as the most hilariously confusing sentence in the history of the English language. A hell of a lot of conviction there.

Well believe it or not, Ronda caught wind of Miesha’s statements, because the Internet is a surprisingly crowded place. And wouldn’t you know, she was not too pleased by them.

Hear what she had to say after the jump.

(I smelled bullshit as soon as he said “I wrote this myself.” Everybody knows that Jeff Ross ghost-writes all of Chael’s material. / Props: fueltv)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- Junior Dos Santos vs. Alistair Overeem Official For UFC 146 (FightLine)

- Exclusive: Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney Talks Counterprogramming, Eddie Alvarez and Hector Lombard Negotiations (MMA Mania)

- Brittney Palmer: “I Plan on Being in the UFC for Many Years to Come and Riding This Wave.” (Five Ounces of Pain)

- MiddleEasy’s Guide to the Top Ten Memes in MMA (MiddleEasy)

- Strikeforce: Why American Society NEEDS Ronda Rousey (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Gilbert Melendez Says He’s Fighting May 19, But Doesn’t Know Who His Opponent Is (MMA Convert)

- Junior Dos Santos Signs With Sports Marketing Agency; Reveals He Spent $100K to Train for Cain (MMA Payout)

- Al Iaquinta Not “Feeling Too Much Pressure” Heading to TUF on FX (The Fight Nerd)

- Georges St. Pierre: Marijuana Is Not a Performance-Enhancing Drug (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Dana White: Ronda Rousey Is a Star, But She’s Going to Need Help (5th Round)

- Would Testosterone Exemptions for Zuffa Fighters Be Approved Using USADA standards? (Fight Opinion)

There were two moments from last weekend’s MMA double-header that jumped out at us during the events, but which we didn’t give any attention to afterwards. Luckily, we now have videos of both.

First up, Ronda Rousey gives Strikeforce sideline-reporter Heidi Androl the look of death when Androl dares to ask about her plan B for Miesha Tate. (Again, it’s another armbar, just like Chuck Norris’s beard has another beard behind it, and behind that beard is a fist, or something like that.) Not trying to hate, but most of Heidi’s fighter interviews end up feeling awkward for one reason or another. Didn’t Karyn Bryant used to handle those for Showtime? Can’t they get her back?

Related discussion question: Is Ronda Rousey the Chael Sonnen of women’s MMA — a born entertainer who is playing a role in order to promote herself — or is she the Nick Diaz of women’s MMA — an athletic savant who just isn’t as good at relating to other human beings as she is at fighting?

After the jump, Demetrious Johnson shows the bare minimum of concern for Ian McCall‘s aching balls.

(If you’re squeamish, you’re on the wrong site.)

If you thought Ronda Rousey’s exuberant over-torquing of Miesha Tate’s arm on Saturday night was the most disgusting injury in MMA this weekend, you were mistaken.

(Nick Diaz was right! If you listen close enough, you can hear the ocean!)

Last weekend’s Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event gave us plenty to talk about, a rare feature of a Strikeforce card these days. Ronda Rousey officially became the most successful one trick pony of all time, Ronaldo Souza showed us that he is ever improving in the stand up department, and the Strikeforce matchmakers let Nazi pedophiles worldwide know that they could still earn a shot in the big time through hard work, *cough* rape *cough*, and dedication to your craft.

Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us, so let’s first talk about the recently released salaries from this weekend’s “Tate vs. Rousey” card, as they are surprisingly generous for most parties involved. It’s good to know that all of Frank Shamrock’s hard work has paved the way for this new generation of fighters. Per usual, this list does not include any undisclosed/locker room bonuses or any of that noise.

Ronda Rousey: $32,000 (includes $17,000 win bonus)
Miesha Tate: $19,000

Josh Thomson: $80,000 (no win bonus)
K.J. Noons: $38,000

Kazuo Misaki: $50,000 (no win bonus)
Paul Daley: $45,000

Lumumba Sayers: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Scott Smith: $65,000

Ronaldo Souza: $92,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
Bristol Marunde: $10,000

Sarah Kaufman: $25,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
Alexis Davis: $4,000

Roger Bowling: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Brandon Saling: $5,000

Pat Healy: $22,500 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Caros Fodor: $12,000

Ryan Couture: $10,000 (no win bonus)
Conor Heun: $8,000

Join us after the jump for our thoughts on the payout, along with a look at the medical suspensions from the event. 

(“It’s called an ‘illusion’, okay? A ‘trick’ is something a whore does for money.”)

Leading up to her Strikeforce title fight against Miesha Tate on Saturday, Ronda Rousey bristled at the suggestion that she was a “one-trick pony” simply because she had finished all four of her professional MMA fights — and her two amateur fights before that — by armbar. Then, Rousey finished Tate by armbar anyway.

But being a one-trick pony shouldn’t be a derogatory term in MMA. If you’re so good at your specialized technique that you can finish top-flight opponents with it, even though they know it’s coming, then you should be applauded, not criticized. So let’s pay tribute to the seven greatest one-trickers in mixed martial arts. If we’ve left out any good ones, please let us know in the comments section.

RONDA ROUSEY
Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 100% (5 armbar wins in 5 pro fights)
Does she have a nickname based on that trick?: No
How long can Ronda’s perfect armbar streak last? Unlike some of the other names on this list, “Rowdy” has proven that she can land her technique-of-choice against the elite of her division. Rousey faces former Strikeforce 135-pound champion Sarah Kaufman next, and it might be a good sign that Kaufman’s sole career loss — against Marloes Coenen in 2010 — came via armbar.

GIVA SANTANA

Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 72.2% (13 armbar wins in 18 pro fights)
Does he have a nickname based on that trick?: Yes, “The Arm Collector”
Carrying an overall record of 17-1, Givanildo Santana has torqued elbow-joints all over the world. Santana picked up his 13th armbar win during his Bellator debut in October, and is a dark horse to sweep the promotion’s upcoming middleweight tournament.

And it was here, in this blighted place, that Strikeforce learned to live again… (Props: FoxSports.com)

The fact that a Strikeforce aftermath is being broken down into two separate posts is probably confusing most of our longtime readers, considering we’ve had so little to say about the organization leading up to last night’s Strikeforce card. Ever since Zuffa’s acquisition of the organization, our post-event recaps have focused on Strikeforce’s lack of a direction, now-meaningless titles and ever-diminishing roster. The organization clearly wasn’t going anywhere (i.e. going under), yet it also, well, wasn’t going anywhere (i.e. it wasn’t planning future growth). Yet last night, for the first time in a while, Strikeforce looked like an organization that could consistently provide MMA fans with intriguing, relevant matchups.

After all of the hype that Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate managed to create for last night’s bout, the ending could not have possibly gone better for Strikeforce. Exciting fight? Check. Dramatic finish? Check. And most importantly, Sarah Kaufman’s victory over Alexis Davis on the undercard established a clear challenger for the new champion who actually stands a chance at beating the champion. The biggest problem with Strikeforce’s title fights as of late has been the fact that the champions are simply too much better than anyone that Strikeforce can match them up with (Rockhold vs. Jardine, anyone?). While Rousey continued to look phenomenal in her short MMA career last night, former champion Sarah Kaufman provides another intriguing matchup for her. Back to back championship fights in a Strikeforce weight class that will pit the champion against a formidable opponent who is coming off of a victory: Now that’s encouraging.

(Get it?) 

Heading into arguably the most anticipated women’s MMA match of all time (that’s right, I said women’s), former Olympic bronze medalist Ronda Rousey had a mountain of claims to back up, a mountain only made higher by the fact that her meteoric run to a bantamweight title shot had left the general public with more questions than answers in regards to her skill set. In her four fight career, the woman had never seen what the second round, let alone the second minute, of a MMA contest looked like. So we were left to ponder: how would her striking, stamina, and suffocating Jiu-Jitsu attack hold up against the more experienced champ in Meisha Tate?

Well, as it turns out, we still don’t know much about the newly crowned women’s 135 lb. champion, and that may just be the scariest thing about her. Tate tried to answer a couple of these questions early, coming out throwing wild haymakers with ill intentions. Rousey was able to ride out the storm and secure a takedown, drawing an ominous “Oh shit!” reaction from the viewing audience, at least where I was. That statement was echoed tenfold when Rousey managed to secure her first armbar, which I’m still pretty positive did most of the damage to Tate’s arm. However, where referee Herb Dean would have let out his own, “Oh shit!” before stopping the fight right there, referee Mark Matheny was determined not to find himself in the middle of a Steve Mazagatti/Sarah D’Alelio controversy, adhering to a strict “snap then tap” policy for Ms. Tate. That policy would come into effect just a couple minutes later, when Rousey managed to secure the fight ending armbar that can only be described as “Palharesian.”

(Props: shosports)

Last night’s Strikeforce card was a memorable one — even though there were a couple aspects of the show that we’d love to forget. Now that the dust has settled, let’s take a look back at Tate vs. Rousey’s thrilling highlights and awful lowlights…

The Good
- First and foremost, this gif from the weigh ins. Oh, Ronda. [*flexes butt seductively*]

- Ronda Rousey‘s title-winning performance against Miesha Tate. We finally learned what Rousey’s “Plan B” is when she’s unable to armbar you within the first minute — unsurprisingly, it’s another armbar. Rousey kept her head when Miesha stormed out at her in the beginning of the fight, calmly extracted herself from bad positions on the ground, and didn’t get discouraged when her first nasty armbar attempt failed to break Miesha’s elbow. Instead, she relied on the judo expertise that has carried her to a title shot in less than a year of professional MMA competition, and got the inevitable snap/tap at 4:27 of round 1. During her post-fight interview, Rousey proved that her heat-seeking personality doesn’t turn off just because the match is over. (Yes, she holds grudges, and yes, she still thinks Tate sucks.) A meeting with former champ Sarah Kaufman is next, but I can’t be the only one looking ahead to a possible 135-pound superfight against Cris Cyborg.

- Ronaldo Souza‘s striking. In the past, Jacare’s occasional tendency to keep fights standing has struck me as a frustrating betrayal of his bread-and-butter. (See also: Demian Maia.) But against Bristol Marunde, Souza’s striking looked just as dangerous as his grappling; his ferocious overhand rights and unconventional kicks brought to mind other Brazilian bangers like Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante and Edson Barboza. Jacare is still evolving as a fighter, and Luke Rockhold should watch his back.