MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Ronda Rousey

Why More Fighters Need to Talk Sh*t (Hint: It Works)


(What are you gonna do against the largest arms in the world, brother? / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

MMA is the ultimate “nice guys finish last” sport. It’s called prize fighting for a reason, and “I respect him; he’s a great opponent” doesn’t sell.

This is no secret. Just look at how Chael Sonnen—a perennial mid-carder who nobody knew or cared about—resurrected his career with carefully executed, bombastic trash talk.

Why am I telling you this if it’s common sense? Because it’s only common sense to people who appreciate MMA for what it is—real-life pro wrestling. Unfortunately, most hardcore MMA fans (and some media members) refuse to see it this way. They either believe in a non-existent code of honor, or an even less corporeal competitive architecture. “It’s a sport,” they maintain. “It should be only about competition. Besides, who wouldn’t want to see the best fighters go at it, even if they have less charisma than a light bulb?” The answer to that question: Most of the country.

There’s a sport with no flash, no glitz, and none of the other maligned “entertainment” trappings of the UFC and the WWE. It’s called amateur wrestling, and nobody watches it. MMA turning into amateur wrestling hurts the fighters. If there’s no viewers, there’s no money. It’s crazy that people still need to be reminded of this, but selling the fight is equally as important as fighting the fight. To quote The Simpsons, “Every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum.”

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Friday Link Dump: UFC Targeting Hunt vs. Nelson, Ronda Rousey Talks Bethe Correia, Superior Death Penalty Alternatives + More


(Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas in its entirety, because this is my link dump and I’ll do as I please. -Danga)

Ronda Rousey: Bethe Correia “Could be a Very Interesting Fight for Me” (MMAJunkie)

Mirko Cro Cop Saves Dog Shot by Hitman (TheUG)

UFC targeting Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson in Saitama, Japan (BloodyElbow)

Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Jimmo Slated For UFC 174 (MMAFighting)

Mayweather vs. Maidana: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather Jr. guaranteed $31.5 million purse for ‘The Moment’ (MMAMania)

The Beaten Path: Aaron Pico Is the Future King of Fighting (Bleacher Report)

5 Delicious Cinco de Mayo Recipes So Easy, Even YOU Can Do Them…(PopHangover)

The Most Entertaining and Successful Coaches in College Sports (EveryJoe)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Five Death Penalty Alternatives That Are Vastly Superior to Lethal Injection (HolyTaco)

The 29 Best Autocorrects Of April 2014! (DamnYouAutocorrect)

The Definitive Ranking Of Spider-Man Movies, From Best To Worst (FilmDrunk)

The 50 Most Bizarre Prom Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

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Karo Parisyan Might Be a *Little* Pissed About Ronda Rousey Defecting From His Gym


(Obligatory.)

Maybe it’s just me, because I have a tendency to read too far into things, but based on his recent interview with MMAJunkie Radio, it seems to me that Karo Parisyan is *kind of* bitter over the fact that Ronda Rousey defected from his gym, Hayastan Academy, to train at Glendale Fight Club and in turn become the megastar that she is today.

A little context: You see, Karo Parisyan fancies himself as something like the king of Judo in MMA, and to some degree, his early success in the UFC did help spread awareness of Judo’s practicality in the sport. But Parisyan is also a bit of an egomaniac (see video above), so when Ronda decided to make the leap to GFC after training with Parisyan following her Olympic bronze medal win in 2008, one could expect that Karo might hold it against her. When his cousin, Manny Gamburyan, followed suit, well, you end up hearing stuff like this (emphasis mine):

That’s all good. No animosity toward them. Good for Manny, good for Ronda, because Manny’s always there with her at the trainings and stuff, and Ronda might be on her period and she might take her underwear off and stuff, so Manny helps her out with that stuff, too, like with the tampons and everything else. I’m being a dick to them.

Again, maybe it’s just me, but what in the actual fuck is Parisyan talking about here? He says there’s no animosity between the closely-located camps, then proceeds to insinuate…whatever he is insinuating there? It’s like, does he even know who Ronda Rousey is, bro?

More from this bizarre interview after the jump.

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UFC 172: The Card That Helped MMA Not Suck Anymore


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

UFC 172 wasn’t terribly interesting on paper. “Who cares about Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira and a bunch of other mismatches?” we all asked. And we were right to. MMA had been in a slump. Good cards were sparse–islands in a sea terrible TUF finales, awful Fight Pass exclusives, and PPVs not worth the $60 price tag.

Last night changed all that (well, it did if you ignore UFC 173)

I know what you’re thinking. “Tone down the hyperbole a bit, Matt…and by a bit we mean several orders of magnitude.” Let me explain.

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Dana White Calls Cris Cyborg “Wanderlei Silva in a Dress,” Is the Absolute Worst

Earlier this week, Ronda Rousey forged ahead in her war of words with Cris Cyborg, calling the former Strikeforce champ an “it” and earning the ire of MMA apparel brand Americana in the process. While most of us likely assumed that Rousey would not be punished for her remarks — unlike Matt Mitrione, who made similarly unprofessional comments about Fallon Fox in the past and was suspended as a result — we couldn’t have possibly foreseen that White would not only support Rousey’s claims, but pile on Cyborg as well, could we?

HAHAHAHA, I know right? I could barely make it through that sentence myself. Dana White is and has always been an jackass with zero impulse control, so obviously, he used yesterday’s UFC 172 media day as an opportunity to hurl misogynistic insults Cyborg’s way like the professional that he is.

“When I saw her at the MMA awards, she looked like Wanderlei Silva in a dress and heels,” said White while his media cronies giggled in the background like a bunch of middle schoolers. I can’t blame them; they probably would’ve had their credentials pulled if they didn’t treat White like a Don from a 50′s gangster movie. “Wanderlei Silva in a dress, dats a good one, boss!”

But it was when White actually attempted to defend Rousey’s comments that the real standup act began…

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Ronda Rousey Calls Cris Cyborg an “It,” Receives $5,000 Bounty on Her Head


(“Come at me, brahs.” Photo via Getty.)

With a fight lined up against savvy veteran Alexis Davis in May and a seemingly inevitable showdown with Gina Carano on the horizon, one would think that Ronda Rousey has plenty on her plate to keep her distracted from her never-ending war of words with Cris Cyborg. Then again, if we’ve learned one thing about Ms. Rousey over the years, it’s that the only thing she loves more than breaking people’s arms is talking shit about people whose arms she has yet to break (ex. Kardashian, K. and Caraway, B.). Women be talkin’, amiright fellas?

So perhaps it makes sense that, during an interview with Yahoo’s Kevin Iole, Rousey only briefly touched on the fights she actually has lined up before once again unleashing a barrage of insults at the former Strikeforce featherweight champion like the classy, grown-up professional that she is:

I’ve said before, I don’t care if she’s injecting horse semen into her eyeballs, I’ll fight her, but that’s just my personal decision. But I can’t make a decision for the whole division. I can’t say it’s the right thing. This girl has been on steroids for so long and [has been] injecting herself for so long that she’s not even a woman anymore. She’s an ‘it.’ It’s not good for the women’s division. It’s not good at all.

While an “it” isn’t exactly the worst burn Rousey has ever thrown Cyborg’s way, the insult was enough to earn the ire of MMA apparel brand Americana, who threw down the following gauntlet on Twitter last night…

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Is It Time to Admit MMA Will Never Become a Mainstream Success?


(Dana White’s “If you don’t like it, we don’t want you as a fan” strategy has worked. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

UFC on FOX 11 was one of the better cards in recent memory, but nobody outside of the MMA bubble cared.

It pulled in only 1.98 million viewers—the lowest ever for a UFC event on Fox and a 27% decline from UFC on FOX 10. The fight card lost out to every other major network in total viewers, and only beat CBS in the key 18-49 demo.

“Fighting is in our DNA,” Dana White likes to maintain. It’s a universal action that everyone understands. If a fight breaks out, everyone stops what they’re doing to watch it. Fighting is raw, visceral, but somehow pure and sacrosanct. It has been part of humanity since the first caveman shot a double leg.

Except it’s not. Those lines we all swore were so true when we started watching MMA, the ones we cited as reasons for MMA’s inevitable (and rightful) ascent to greatness, are all bullshit. When a rerun of Mike and Molly draws more viewers than free fights, one has to question whether MMA will ever achieve the mainstream popularity fans and pundits have been anticipating for years now—unless an overweight Chicago police officer (no, not Mike Russow) and his wife are even more in our DNA than fighting.

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[VIDEO] Marlon Wayans Fantasizes About Ronda Rousey on Conan, Continues to Be Unfunny


(Skip to the 2:50 mark to see what we’re talking about.)

Every time I hear that Marlon Wayans has another fart-joke-disguised-as-a-movie coming out, I have to remind myself that this is the man who wrote/starred in Don’t Be a Menace and Scary Movie or I’d probably walk into oncoming traffic. I mean, sure, Wayans has been relentlessly eroding our cultural understanding of things like “satire” and “parody” for over a decade now, but it’s hard to blame him when you realize how much money he is making to do so. Despite appearing to be a talentless hack like myself on the outside, Wayans is probably still a generally funny guy (unlike myself) on the inside, right?

Well, his recent appearance on Conan would seem to suggest otherwise. Apparently a big fan of our fair sport, Wayans recently appeared on Conan to promote his latest effort, Ghost Fart 2, and the topic eventually shifted to a tweet he had sent out about another Conan alum, women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey. “This is hot!! Girl on girl! #ufc @ufc @rondaroussey I just wanna smell her training gloves and feet wraps…” wrote Wayans during Rousey’s staredown with Sara McMann, which the UFC bizarrely chose to retweet because hey! A sort-of famous person acknowledged us!

In any case, Conan called out Wayans for his tweet, and Wayans proceeded to discuss his fantasy of having Rousey armbar his penis. It was the kind of joke you’d expect from the guy who honestly thought White Chicks was a funny enough premise to run with for 90 minutes, and I fully expect either Rousey or Dana White to respond negatively to it in the coming days.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-J. Jones 

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Rousey vs. Mayweather: The MMA vs. Boxing Debate Finally Hits Rock-Bottom


(Joe Rogan talks Rousey vs. Mayweather on ESPN’s SportsNation, because it’s not like there was an actual event worth discussing or anything.)

By Jared Jones

I must be confused.

You see, when I awoke yesterday morning, I was under the impression that MMA was still a sport with plenty of goings-on worth talking about, not a platform so desolate of intriguing discussion that its only current purpose in this world was to push energy drinks and stir up farcical “Who would win?” scenarios like a goddamn episode of Deadliest Warrior. “There are *two* UFC events alone going down this week,” I said to myself, “Not to mention an *actual* TUF premiere, a Bellator event, and who knows what else. Surely there is plenty of real-life, newsworthy information to be had today.”

So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke to find “Joe Rogan says Ronda Rousey would beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.” as the headline dominating many an MMA site and even some that aren’t. And even worse, nearly all of these articles were flooded with the hundreds of comments from people who actually found it necessary to offer their insight into this absolutely imbecilic piece of non-news. (Rousey vs. a cheetah in sweatpants: Who’s the better dancer?”)

“Every fight starts standing, and we all know Floyd’s not afraid to hit women,” joked a commenter who vehemently expressed his outrage over the idea of allowing Fallon Fox to continue fighting just months earlier. “Floyd’s speed would be no match for Ronda’s armbar,” said another who had chastised his favorite MMA publication for daring to waste his time with a breakdown of the Undertaker’s signature move days prior.

I bit my tongue at first, because I don’t exactly have a foot to stand on when it comes to publishing news items that are ever-so-tangentially related to MMA. But the tipping point occurred during last night’s TUF Nations Finale broadcast, when during yet another time-killing session in the FOX studios, Karyn Bryant posed the same question to Daniel Cormier and Anthony Pettis.

“This is ridiculous,” said Pettis before declaring that Floyd would easily win. Unfortunately, it appeared that the idea of a woman beating a man in a fight was what Pettis found ridiculous, not the question itself as I had hoped.

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UFC Booking Alert: Ronda Rousey to Face Alexis Davis at UFC 175


(Did you know: Ronda Rousey doesn’t listen to music, only the screams of past opponents. / Photo via Getty)

Ronda Rousey‘s next opponent has been determined. It’s not Holly Holm. It’s not Gina Carano, and it’s definitely not Cris Cyborg.

It’s Alexis Davis, who’s currently 3-0 in the UFC and is on a five-fight win streak overall.

Dana White announced the fight over twitter last night.

To be honest, we’re a little disappointed. Find out why after the jump.

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