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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Ronda Rousey

TUF 18 Ratings Update: A Round of Applause For Our First Group of Female Contestants


(“I’m so sorry…I’m sorry…I’m…*looks down*…hey, those really are nice shoes.” Photo via Getty.) 

If you’ve been following The Ultimate Fighter this season, chances are that, like us, you’ve been more than impressed with the quality of the fights themselves. Four great fights with four decisive (not to mention brutal) finishes have easily outshined most if not all of the petty drama that oft permeates the TUF house, a trend that has only increased since the program’s move to the FX and FOX Sports 1 networks.

Unfortunately, great fights have not necessarily equaled great ratings this season. Blame it on the new network, blame it on the time slot, but TUF 18‘s ratings have been just barely swimming above the “lowest live-viewership” record since the premiere episode. Yes, despite seeing a temporary boost with the second episode, MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer is reporting that last week’s fight between Davey Grant and LivesWithParents pulled in just 640,000 viewers.

In fact, episode 3, featuring the fight between Chris Holdsworth and Chris Beal, similarly drew in just 639,000 viewers. Here’s the thing, episodes 2 and 4 – which featured the female fights of Baszler/Pena and Rakoczy/Modafferi — performed significantly better than those featuring their male counterparts. As Meltzer writes:

For the Ultimate Fighter, there has been an up-and-down pattern in the ratings. As in, the week of a women’s fight, the audience is up. The two women’s fights, airing on Sept. 12 and Sept. 26, did 870,000 and 778,000 viewers live. The men’s fights on Sept. 19 and Oct. 3 did 639,000 and 640,000. 

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TUF 18 Episode 5 Recap: Well, At Least We Know Where Ronda Gets Her “Crazy” From


(The shirt says “Fighting is in my DNA,” just in case you guys didn’t get the message. Photo via UFC.com)

After winning control of the fight picks and securing their first victory last week via dive bomb KO, Team Rousey has selected that roommates and BFF’s Davey Grant (Team Rousey) and Louis Fisette (Team Tate/Lives With Parents) will do battle this week.

Episode 5 starts off with Grant and Fisette shooting the breeze about still being friends after they fight and all that noise, then switches to Roxanne coping with her loss by bawling her eyes out in the fetal position, then switches to Raquel Pennington discussing what it was like coming out to her parents. Non sequiturs FTW!!

Anyway, Grant is our first featured fighter this week. He speaks in what I like to call “Terry Etim English,” in that I can only understand one out of every thirteen words he says. I think he’s missing his children, but he could just as easily be talking about buying his mum a caravan.

At the TUF house, a few members of Team Tate, including “friends with benefits” aficionado Julianna Pena (Author’s note: I’m a really good listener if you ever need one, Julianna. Just sayin’), start to play truth or dare. I shit you not. The first “truth” that comes up: Who’s the hottest guy in the house? Sarah “Cheesecake” Moras votes for Anthony “Sharkbait” Gutierrez. Pena strongly disagrees, labelling him the ugliest guy of them all. Choose your words wisely, Julianna, because if Gutierrez catches wind of his ugliness he will buwn this whole house to da gwound.

Josh Hill is up next and chooses dare. He is given the challenge of using a cheesy pickup line on Roxanne Modafferi. He chooses “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” It should be noted that Roxanne is not wearing shoes at the time. She didn’t say “No,” though.

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Ronda Rousey: ‘Crazy’ Like a Champion


(Ronda Rousey after successfully defending her UFC bantamweight title against Liz Carmouche in February. | Photo via Getty)

By Elias Cepeda

There seems to be a lot of chatter about Ronda Rousey’s mental state lately. The UFC women’s bantamweight champion has always gotten attention for her intensity and arm-snapping viciousness, but ever since Rousey the TUF 18 Coach began appearing on television a few weeks ago, the notion that the undefeated fighter is mentally unstable has started to pick up steam.

There was Ronda becoming infuriated when Meisha Tate dared to celebrate her own fighter’s win over Team Rousey’s Shayna Baszler. There was Ronda getting in the face of and taunting Tate’s coach/manager/boyfriend Bryan Caraway. There was Ronda kicking open the UFC gym door and screaming Tate’s team out because they’d gone approximately 30 seconds over their scheduled time. In last week’s episode, Ronda launched some of her trademark hostility against UFC vet and Team Tate assistant coach Dennis Hallman.

And then, of course, there’s Ronda crying. A lot. Like, all the time.

Not your normal, boo-hoo type of crying, either. Hers is an angry, motivated and terrifying type of cry. Former Strikeforce champion and would-be Rousey rival Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino called Rousey “mentally sick” after watching her on The Ultimate Fighter. Recently, Hallman did an interview where he recounted a story of an incident he said happened on the TUF set where Rousey told a producer of the show to shut their mouth while she was speaking to her, and then said that he believed that Ronda had mental health issues.

I’ve already written in partial jest that Rousey’s mind is evidently a dark and scary place, but is the two-time Olympian “crazy?” The simple answer is, “no.”

If Ronda Rousey is crazy, it’s the type of crazy that has become familiar to us in great competitors. Rousey isn’t an out-of-control head case, she’s a competitor. She’s not crazy, she’s a champion. And like many champions before her, Ronda is a fiercer competitor than most professional athletes. Her hyper-competitiveness, her apparent need to establish dominance in almost every and any situation, and her ability to used even perceived slights as fuel are traits Rousey shares with the likes of Michael Jordan and Anderson Silva.

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TUF 18 Episode 4 Recap: Piss Fits, Toilet Paper Roll Men, And a Gnarly Dive-Bomb KO


(Rakoczy vs. Modafferi highlights, via Fox Sports.)

While the first women’s quarterfinal bout on TUF 18 featured an ego-driven meeting of Team Rousey and Team Tate’s top picks, the second one pitted the female bracket’s #4 seeds against each other. At the end of last week’s episode, we saw coach Miesha Tate select WMMA veteran Roxanne Modafferi (who comes onto the show with a five-fight losing streak) to go in against Team Rousey’s Jessica Rakoczy, a former boxing champ who has only earned one victory in five MMA fights. Once again, we have a meeting of the old school vs. the new school — not to mention a classic matchup between a grappler who’s shaky on her feet vs. a striker who’s still learning this jiu-jitsu stuff. Spoiler alert: The fight ends by stoppage, and it’s ugly.

Ronda Rousey is psyched about the matchup, though. “They’re such predictable little pussies,” she says. “[Modafferi's] not gonna be able to bully in, you’ll be able to pick her apart, it’s perfect.” Rakoczy apparently suffered a shoulder injury during her elimination fight, but she’s ready, and Miesha Tate will pay for every smile she smirked.

Modafferi thanks Tate for the fight-selection — in Japanese, obviously — and says she’s not going to underestimate Rakoczy, even though her team (and guest coach Dennis Hallman) are convinced that Modafferi’s got this one in the bag. Vengeful MMA Gods, that’s your cue to enter.

Edmond Tarverdyan mean-mugs Hallman and tries to pick a fight as soon as he sees him. Hallman calls his bluff and offers to settle it right then in the training center. Rousey holds her coach back, then gets in Hallman’s face and throws a “piss fit.” (Miesha’s words, not mine.) Dana White has to come in and play peacemaker, which is kind of an unexpected role for him. I’m sure it’s just that infamous reality show editing, but man, Tarverdyan and Rousey are really coming off like crazy assholes here.

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[VIDEO] Cristiane Cyborg Put on a Muay Thai Clinic Against Jennifer Colomb Last Friday Because of Course She Did

If any of you are like me, you probably can’t watch a video of Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino savaging some hapless opponent without running through a list of “What Ifs” and “Reasons to Hate Tito Ortiz.” What if Cyborg hadn’t asked to be released from the UFC? What if she somehow managed to secure a fight with Ronda Rousey? What if Ortiz hadn’t nuked her career with a series of awkward non sequiturs? (Author’s note: Hopefully the latter can be answered when Ortiz and his besties crash Dana White’s quinceanera or whatever it is they plan on doing.)

It’s a moot issue at this point, but we triple dog dare you to watch Cyborg’s victory over the previously undefeated (and late replacement opponent) Jennifer Colomb at Lion Fight 11 without asking the same questions. Although the fight went down last Friday, a full video of their two round Muay Thai bout has only recently been made available, likely because it was being used as evidence in an assault case filed against Justino that has since been dropped.

As for the fight itself…what would you expect? Cyborg swarms Colomb with a Tasmanian Devil-esque flurry of punches, kicks, knees, spinning backfists/elbows, haidukens, ice freeze attacks, Falcon punches and Bob-ombs at every conceivable opportunity until Colomb just sort of wilts from the sheer magnitude of it all. I’m telling you, have Cyborg strap on (HOLD IT) a face mask and some skates and she would have Milan Lucic shitting out his own eyeballs within the first period.

This is normally where I’d ask an obvious question — something like “Are there any intriguing non-UFC fights left for Cyborg?” — but we all know that answer.

In conclusion: Down with Primetime 360, up with Entertainment 720.

*drops mic*

-J. Jones

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TUF 18 Episode 3 Recap: Romance, Liquor and Mad-Dogging Are in the Air


(Chicks. Pro fighters. Bar. Fighting. Sweet)

By Elias Cepeda

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 18 kicked off with some delicious fatness as Coach Miesha Tate delivers treats to last week’s fighters. Her BFF Julianna Pena gets a milk shake and, remembering that she told her how much she loves cake, Miesha brings Team Rousey’s Shayna Baszler some chocolate cake.

Miesha keeps it classy and magnanimous, boys and girls. Though she doesn’t look too happy when Shayna, her former roommate, tells her that Ronda Rousey has won her over a bit.

Julianna doesn’t seem to be making many friends in the house. The underdog won big last week and helped her team, but almost everyone interviewed seems to say that she annoys them.

Maybe it’s the fake British accent she’s adopted and refuses to drop. This week, Julianna’s teammate Chris Holdsworth is taking on Chris Beal, who was chosen by Tate to fight next because he has an injured hand.

Ronda is still furious at the pussy-ass bullshit move and insists that Beal will beat Holdsworth with one hand. Before that can happen, however, Cody meets with Coach Tate and her mascot/assistant coach/boyfriend/manager/suitcase pimp/fellow UFC bantamweight Bryan Caraway to tell them that he believes there’s a mole on their team.

He thinks that it is Julianna. Bryan seems to agree.

Apparently Team Rousey’s Jessamyn Duke guessed all the matchups that Team Tate had laid out as their number one choices. Of course, this means that Julianna, who is friends with Tate and trains with her, told Team Rousey the plan.

Why? Well, she’s already fought so she doesn’t care about what happens to the rest of the team, according to Cody.

When he confronts Julianna with the accusation, which he somehow says isn’t an accusation, she denies it but when others pile on, she suggests that perhaps Roxanne Modafferi, who rooms with Team Rousey ladies, shared the top secret info.

Roxanne flatly denies it and her team jumps to her aid, one of them calling her “a fucking Samurai” who would never stoop so low.

The Part Where We Learn Chris Holdsworth is a Smooth Operator

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Photo of the Day: Ronda Rousey Holds a Gun and Scowls on the Set of ‘The Expendables 3′


(Props: epwar on the UG)

Well, we warned you. UFC women’s bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey was recently in Bulgaria filming a role in the latest Expendables sequel, and we just came across this set photo proving that she does get to hold a weapon and be her usual cheery self. Boxing star Victor Ortiz was also rumored to be in the cast, and that appears to be him standing next to Rousey, just happy to be there.

Other than that, the photo gives us a glimpse of the film’s all-star cast, including Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Arnold Schwarzenegger (mostly blocked out by Antonio’s beanie), Dolph Lundgren, and Randy “The Natural, Except When It Comes to Acting” Couture, at least one of whom will likely be arm-barred by Rousey during the film to prove that, hey, this girl is tough.

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What Sorcery is This? ‘TUF 18, Episode 2′ Ratings *Up* 14% From Season Premiere


(“Quick, someone get a trampoline and Adam Carolla before everyone stops watching!” Photo via Getty.) 

It looks like a few more of us were finally able to find the Fox Sports 1 network on our deluxe digital cable television packages (#whitepeopleproblems). According to MMAFighting’s Dave Meltzer, viewership for the second episode of The Ultimate Fighter 18 jumped up 14% from the season’s premiere last week. It’s not incredible news given how abysmal said premiere’s ratings were, but it’s something gosh darn it:

It was the largest increase of a first episode of the season to a second episode in the 18-season history of the show. Only four previous seasons has the second episode had more viewers than the first, almost all in the early days of the show. Some of the gain was due to significant promotion of the show during FOX’s NFL telecasts on Sunday. Other was likely positive word-of-mouth coming from the first episode.

Right Dave, “promotion during NFL telecasts” and “word-of-mouth” were responsible for the increase in TUF 18 viewership. Please, explain to me again what exactly this “NFL” is that you speak of (*shakes head*). The ONLY reasoning behind these numbers is that the audience who tuned in the first week, like myself, instantly fell in love with Miesha Tate and had to come back for more. That being the case, I’d just like to let you all know right here and now that I CALL DIBS (after she leaves Bryan Caraway, which she totally told me she was doing this one time on Twitter).

Previously: Comparing/Contrasting/GIF-capping Shayna Baszler and Julianna Pena’s TUF 18, Week 2 blogs.

-J. Jones

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Comparing and Contrasting Shayna Baszler and Julianna Pena’s TUF 18, Week 2 Blogs


(Photo via Getty.)

By now, you probably know (or have heard from an outside, spoilery source) that Julianna Pena scored a massive upset over Shayna Baszler in yesterday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 18, choking out the WMMA pioneer in the second round of their scrap. The shocking victory was made all the more impressive by the fact that everyone in the TUF house, every assistant coach, Ronda Rousey, Miesha Tate, Dana White, cameramen 1-3, the Mayor of Television, 4 out of 5 dentists, Bono and the Duke of Lacrosse Team knew that Baszler was all but a lock to win the season, let alone some preliminary fight against a 4-2 nobody.

But no one believed that Shayna Baszler was fighting a certified tomato can more than Shayna Baszler. If that sounds like an insult, it isn’t. The fact is, Baszler was only setting herself up for disappointment with her weigh-in card tricks and chest-puffing statements like “[Pena] doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with me. She should be coming to my seminars and learning.” Well it looks like THE THUDENT HATH BECOME THE TEACHER, THAYNA. (Ed note: Apologies, I sometime write with a lisp.) 

In any case, other MMA websites who aren’t CagePotato were able to secure exclusive access to both Pena’s and Baszler’s TUF 18 blogs (or at least, that’s what we keep telling ourselves) and have passed along their thoughts on what was surely an emotional week on the show for both fighters. Which is where we come in: To highlight the most interesting blurbs from said blogs and punctuate them with the occasional fart joke. God I love my job.

We shall begin with Ms. Baszler’s blog, the somewhat pretentiously titled “Queen’s Manifesto” (courtesy of TheMMACorner). Not only is it the more personal blog of the two, but it also showcases the delusional and often contradictory lengths at which a fighter must sometimes go to justify a loss.

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TUF 18 Episode 2 Recap: Some Pussy-Ass Bullsh*t


(The front of the card says, “You will die, bitch.” The back of the card says, “But I’ll be in the hot tub tonight around 10 p.m. if you want to hang out, no pressure, I just think you’re cool and you look like you could use a backrub.”)

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a good ringer on The Ultimate Fighter. I’m talking about guys like Roy Nelson or Mac Danzig, who entered the TUF house with literally ten times more experience than some of their cast-mates, and performed like men among boys, cruising to the glass-trophy with shocking ease.

In recent seasons, the talent pool on TUF has dried up to the point where you simply don’t see that kind of fighter anymore; every hot prospect or free agent that’s not immediately snatched up by the UFC gets poached by Bellator or World Series of Fighting, and they don’t have to beat the hell out of near-amateurs on a reality show between sessions of binge-drinking and furniture-abuse.

Of course, since this is the first time that The Ultimate Fighter has featured women, the range of experience in the female bracket is stunning. You’ve got Peggy “Daywalker” Morgan, the 2-0 rookie. Jessamyn Duke, Sarah Moras, and Jessica Rakoczy each have just four pro fights under their belts (and Rakoczy has a losing record). Somehow, these girls are supposed to compete with Shayna Baszler (15-8), who carries over a decade of professional experience with her, and a history of gnarly submissions that include two (two!) wins by twister.

Shayna Baszler was supposed to be the first female ringer in TUF history*. Unfortunately, she knew it just as much as we did, and became convinced that winning the show was a foregone conclusion. She got cocky. She got really cocky. She got really, really, embarrassingly cocky. And she paid for it.

Here’s how last night’s episode played out…

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