“Ross Pointon by heel hook” sounds like an MMA forum punchline, but on Saturday night it became all too real as Pointon put on a ghetto jiu-jitsu clinic against the dumbfounded Ross Mason. Here’s the video, which ends with the 6-10 Pointon requesting — nay, demanding — that he be given a championship belt. After the jump: Badass middle-aged man Ian Freeman’s three-round domination of Paul Cahoon.

(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

Shocking, right? The Gladiator upped his record to 6-10 with a heel-hook submission of Ross Mason (12-9) at Cage Rage 26, which happened Saturday night in Birmingham, England. It was Pointon’s third win in his last 13 fights; though to be honest, every fight that doesn’t end with your head looking like this is a moral victory.

More importantly, 41-year-old UFC/Cage Rage vet Ian Freeman came back from a 20-month hiatus to capture the British Light Heavyweight Title for the second time, with a dominating decision victory over Paul Cahoon. Full results are below; videos to come.

Ian Freeman def. Paul Cahoon via decision
Che Mills def. Marios Zaromskis via TKO (cut) at 5:00 of round 1
James Zikic def. Rodney Faverus via submission (armbar) at 0:25 of round 3
Ross Pointon def. Ross Mason via submission (heel hook) at 1:36 of round 1
Mark Epstein def. Matt Ewin via decision
Marc Goddard and Henrique Nogueira fought to a draw
Brad Pickett def. Paul Reed via decision
Popek Rak def. Kev Simms via TKO (strikes) at 1:12 of round 1
Chris Rice def. Edgelson Lue via TKO (Strikes) at 1:35 of round 1
Harvey Harra def. Garry Kelly via submission (triangle choke) at 3:46 of round 1

(Yes, they’re available for purchase. Keep reading.)

— UFC 79, the IFL World Grand Prix, Yarennoka!, and K-1 Premium Dynamite!! gave us a week-long hangover.

— We became unhealthily obsessed with cauliflower ears.

— A championship belt hit the black market; profits will go towards buying an entire school’s worth of drugs.

— Floyd Mayweather Sr. and Wladimir Klitschko tried to talk some sense into the boy.

— Tiffany Fallon was gone in 60 minutes.

— In commenter news, Joe Lauzon and the lawyer suing Quinton Jackson stopped by to chat, 65 people (and counting!) had something to say about this video, and we were betrayed by those closest to us.

— And most importantly, we came up with a kickass idea for a movie called Red Devil. So far, a filmmaker named Roger has offered to direct, and we’ve made some promo tees. Buy 12 from the CagePotato General Store Presented by CafePress and start your own street team!

By CagePotato.com contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Dan Severn (80-15-7)

Yes, he’s a UFC Hall-of-Famer who still racks up wins in smaller organizations. He’s also 53 goddamned years old. That has to be retirement age for a mixed martial artist. At this point in his life, he should be sipping Metamucil coladas and yelling at kids to get off of his lawn, not rolling on the mat with guys half his age. But we’ll vote to let “The Beast” stick around for at least one more match to see if he can maintain bladder control when socked in the gut.

9. Elvis Sinosic (8-11-2)

His retarded nickname is bad enough; his consistent mediocrity is absolutely inexcusable. Let’s start with the fact that he just got knocked out at Cage Rage by Paul Cahoon — a fighter playing .500 ball himself — in a mere 21 seconds. Well played, King, well played. While he may still have some fights left in him, we’d rather not risk having to yawn through another of his sleepwalk matches. Go back to Australia and rock ‘n rumble with the ‘roos, Elvis. They’ll probably take longer than 21 seconds to knock your middling ass out.

8. Nick Diaz (15-7, 1 NC)

Nick gets a spot on the list not for his positive marijuana test or terminated UFC contracts, but for his volcanic eye sockets. By now, the guy isn’t able to make it through one round without his eyelids shredding, the result of a rare condition also known as “shitty defense that causes your fragile face to get punched in.” We felt his pain when the doctor stopped his fight against K.J. Noons at EliteXC: Renegade, but unless he’s allowed to step into the ring wearing safety goggles, Little Nicky’s gotta go.

(From MMAWeekly.com via Fightlinker)

At Saturday’s Cage Rage 24, Murilo “Ninja” Rua choked out Xavier Foupa-Pokam, Elvis Sinosic got KO’d in 21 seconds, and Ross Pointon dropped his one-fight win streak after Marios Zaromskis ripped off a significant chunk of his forehead. Despite the fact that his record drops to 5-10 and he’ll be bleeding out of that gash for the rest of his life, Pointon wants to get right back in the cage, telling MMAWeekly “I want that fight again. I know I can beat him and want the chance to prove it. He didn’t hit me with anything I couldn’t handle.”

Ross Pointon is like The Black Knight reincarnated as a too-stupid-for-his-own-good brawler. (“‘Tis but a scratch.”) Please, Ross, retire while you still have your…whatever it is you still have. Because the way you’re headed, it won’t be long before we find you sitting outside of a bus station somewhere with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a “punch me in the face, £2″ sign in the other. After a while, the people will get tired of punching you in the face, and they’ll want to do other things to you. Then, they’ll get tired of those things. And then where will you be?