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Tag: Rousimar Palhares

Renzo Gracie Just Provided the Most Astute Analysis of Rousimar Palhares Ever

(Let’s just say that the cake with a stripper in it ended in a goddamn bloodbath.) 

Much has been done to try and explain away the assholish behavior of Rousimar Palhares in the wake of AnkleGate ’13. Although “Toquinho” —  which means either “Tree Stump,” “The Brazilian Ankle-Eating Sasquatch,” or “OH GOD, I TAP! I TAP!!” depending on who you ask — has been notoriously dubbed a dirty fighter for his inability to release a submission hold when prompted, it was his knee-obliterating heel hook of Mike Pierce at Fight Night 29 that truly took the blood-filled cake, forcing the UFC to release Palhares back into the jungles of Brazil forevermore.

Recently, it was announced that Palhares would emerge from hiding to take on UFC veteran Dean Lister in a submission-only match at the 2013 World Jiu-Jitsu Expo. The MMA world reacted with equal parts fear and excitement — kind of like how Rousimar reacts when he catches his reflection in a puddle. Sadly, WJJE president Renzo Gracie broke the news earlier today that a shoulder injury has forced Palhares out of the match. That is not the must-read material. Renzo’s analysis of Rousimar Palhares the person, however, absolutely is:

Palhares is like a 12 years old kid. He was raised in a farm in Brazil, and you can’t picture a farm in Iowa. He’s so naive. The reality is, he has a completely different mindset. They’re born like Indians, and it’s like getting an Indian from the jungle and expect them to live here.

While this analogy is undoubtedly hilarious, we all know that Paul Harris was actually born in a radioactive swamp and raised in captivity.


Dean Lister Loses His F*cking Mind, Agrees to Submission-Only Match With Paul Harris at 2013 World Jiu-Jitsu Expo

(After seeing this photo, Palhares could only ask why Lister “didn’t require a referee to yank him off his opponent like a normal person.”)

The emotional effects of post-UFC life on the average fighter is a subject that has both been vigorously discussed and tremendously explored. In the nearly 10 years since the promotion held its first event, several brave souls have attempted to shed a light on what it means to be a UFC fighter (or to have been), be it through autobiographies, documentaries, or a series of increasingly depressing public appearances. There was also Bar Brawler, but that tale of insanity is in a class of its own.

Kenny Florian is a good example of a fighter who has successfully adjusted to life outside of fighting, having parlayed his extensive career with the UFC into a multitude of desk jobs including UFC on FOX analyst, MMA Live and UFC Tonight co-host, and the sole speck of personality present during a UFC on FUEL broadcast. Veterans like Luke Cummo, on the other hand, left the UFC on a spaceship to live with the Bull Pegasus on Planet Bathsaltia forevermore.

What I’m getting at is, there are fighters who have followed the KenFlo path of post-UFC life and there are those who have followed the Mayhem Miller path of self destruction. Based on the news passed along by Graciemag last night, it seems we can assume that UFC veteran Dean Lister falls into the latter category, as he has *voluntarily* accepted a short-notice, submission-only Jiu-Jitsu match with Rousimar Palhares at this year’s World Jiu-Jitsu Expo on November 9th.


MRI Reveals Severe Sprain in Mike Pierce’s Left Knee From Palhares Heel Hook

(Photo via Getty)

For the moment, it appears as if UFC welterweight Mike Pierce will not need surgery to repair the knee injured by Rousimar Palhares’ hulk-smash heel hook at UFC Fight Night 29. That’s the good news. The bad news is that an MRI shows that Pierce’s left knee is indeed badly injured and will force him out of action for a good while.

MMA Junkie reports that an MRI of Pierce’s left knee indicated a “severe MCL sprain.” Pierce and his team are awaiting results on imaging on his left ankle, which was also injured by the hold. Palhares forced Pierce to submit in just over thirty seconds during their main card bout in Brazil, but Palhares refused to immediately let go of the hold — even after the referee had clearly interceded — giving Pierce’s leg one last tug before letting go.

It wasn’t the first time Palhares refused to obey referee orders after forcing an opponent to tap out and the California Pizza Kitchen-lovin’ man-beast was promptly released by the UFC for the latest offense. Pierce was medically suspended for 180 days directly after the fight.

We’ll bring you updates on his condition as they are made known.

-Elias Cepeda


Amazingly, Every Fighter at ‘UFC Fight Night 29′ Managed to Pass His Drug Test

(In retrospect, maybe these guys could have *used* a little steroids. / Photo via Getty)

On the main card alone, last week’s UFC Fight Night 29 event featured a guy who previously pissed dirty for steroids (Joey Beltran), a fake-urine submitting pot smoker (Thiago Silva), one of the UFC’s many “elevated testosterone” violators (Rousimar Palhares), and a guy who failed a drug test for undisclosed reasons, so we’re just going to assume it was weed (Jake Shields). We’ve been waiting for the card’s drug test results with baited breath, and to our surprise, it looks like everybody’s in the clear. As MMAFighting reports:

All 20 UFC Fight Night 29 fighters passed their drug tests. Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission (CABMMA) tested every fighter before their bouts on Oct. 9 in Barueri, Brazil. After the bouts, the headliners – Demian Maia and Jake Shields – were tested again, in addition to four other randomly selected fighters…all results came back negative.”

This is especially good news for Thiago Silva, who has had two of his last four UFC wins knocked down to no-contests, and is now riding his first legitimate win streak since 2007-2008. Of course, Silva missed weight by three pounds for his UFC Fight Night 29 bout against Matt Hamill, so I guess we should put an asterisk next to that win as well, but still, it’s progress.


Palhares-Gate Update: Bellator Doesn’t Want Him, Palhares Issues Half-Assed Apology

(Rousimar Palhares doing “God’s work.” / Photo via Getty Images)

Remember when we described serial knee-destroyer Rousimar Palhares as a “good-natured idiot-manchild“? Well, apparently Bellator has a similar opinion of the Brazilian.

At least that’s the impression we get from their recent decision not to sign him. Bjorn Rebney told TMZ the following about why he his Viacom puppet master decided to pass on Palhares:

“Risks already exist for the courageous, world class fighters who either enter the Bellator cage; without adding further unnecessary risks into the mix. Fighter safety is paramount to me and my team.”

That eliminates one destination for the recently disgraced Palhares — MMA’s version of Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Maybe he’ll go to World Series of Fighting, although Jon Fitch has already refused a hypothetical fight against him due to safety concerns. But it seems like Bellator missed a good catch here. Palhares is a talented fighter coming off a win. He had tons of heat, so the signing would’ve generated tons of press — for a Bellator signing, anyway — or at least more press than signing a UFC castaway whose career highlight is getting kicked in the face.

Palhares (or his people) sensed that he was becoming damaged goods. Consequently, he issued an explanation/apology yesterday that you can check out after the jump.


Friday Link Dump: Palhares Catches Four-Month Suspension From Brazilian Athletic Commission, GSP’s Training Camp Secret Weapon, Ket Kelley Gets Naked-er + Much More

(You will learn so much about oil refinery turnarounds from this video. Or maybe you won’t. But either way, holy crap @ those jugs. / Props: Guyism)

Rousimar Palhares Issued 120-Day Suspension from Brazilian Athletic Commission (BleacherReport)

Only Fighter to Beat Johny Hendricks Helping Georges St-Pierre Prepare for Title Fight (MMAFighting)

Invicta FC 7 slated for Dec. 7 with three title fights, Honchak-Smith Headliner (MMAJunkie)

Kat Kelley Is Taking More of Her Clothes Off on MIMP. Get in Here Right Now. (MeInMyPlace, kinda NSFW)

Report: Bellator Will Waive Contractual Rights to Ben Askren if ‘Funky’ Gets Immediate UFC Title Shot (MMAMania)

UFC: Chuck Liddell Will Be Murder Suspect on FOX Hit Series ‘Bones’ (BloodyElbow)

‘Frank Shamrock: Bound by Blood’ Is a Must-See Documentary for All the Right Reasons (FightOpinion)

Now THAT is a broken nose… (

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Rousimar Palhares Simply Cannot Comprehend His Opponents’ Suffering

(“Ugh, leave me out of this.” — God / Photo via Getty)

It’s day one of the post-Palhares era in the UFC, and so many questions still remain unanswered. Mainly, what the hell is up with this guy anyway? Is he a sociopath or something? And if so, should he be forced out of the sport altogether?

People who know or have met Rousimar Palhares paint him as a good-natured idiot-manchild, functionally illiterate, traumatized by an impoverished upbringing, excited at the prospect of lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. Descriptions like this take some of the blame off of him, but not in a particularly positive way. They describe a man who might lack the mental capacity to understand what he’s doing, and we must not judge. Over on MMAJunkie, Ben Fowlkes wonders if Palhares is “just a dirtbag” who lacks empathy and respect for his opponents and refuses to learn from his mistakes. Also a strong possibility.

Palhares’s manager Alex Davis is throwing his support behind his fighter, and has decided to follow the narrative that Palhares is a good guy who simply isn’t in control of his own actions. As Davis told

He’s perplexed. He doesn’t really grasp it. He doesn’t really understand that he’s doing something overly wrong. He doesn’t get it…First of all, we’re going to figure out what the problem is. This kid is not a mean kid. Everyone who is with him loves him to pieces. We’re going to try to figure out why this happens. Why does this kid do this [expletive]? Why doesn’t he just stop?

Davis expanded on Palhares’s lack of control and comprehension in a statement released to MMAJunkie:


And Now He’s Fired: Rousimar Palhares Sent Packing After Holding Heel Hook Too Long

(Props: Keith Olbermann YouTube Channel)

Less than twenty-four hours after Rousimar Palhares scored a controversial victory over Mike Pierce – where he locked in his signature heel hook and refused to let go – Palhares is now out of a job with the UFC. Dana White – who already withheld the Submission of the Night bonus that Palhares would have won as punishment – confirmed the firing on tonight’s edition of Olbermann.

Last night’s instance of poor sportsmanship and judgment from Palhares wasn’t his first. As we’ve mentioned earlier today, Palhares was previously suspended by the UFC for doing the exact same thing to Tomasz Drwal back in 2010.

Despite initial reports that Palhares has received a lifetime ban from the organization, is reporting that Palhares has simply been “released.”

We’ll keep you up to date as this story continues to develop.



UFC Fight Night 29 Aftermath: Shields Edges Out Maia, Palhares and Kim Score Brutal Victories

(Kim vs. Silva: The moment of impact, and the aftermath. / Photos via Getty)

I wouldn’t call yesterday’s UFC Fight Night event a great card, necessarily — the headlining bout was predictably slow, and the main card broadcast dragged in the middle thanks to the light-heavyweights. Still, there were enough violent, surprising, and awful moments at UFC Fight Night 29 to make it worth discussing. So let’s talk about the interesting stuff first, and work our way down to the crap.

Rousimar Palhares may look a little different at welterweight*, but his gameplan hasn’t changed one iota. From the opening bell, Palhares aggressively dove for the legs of Mike Pierce, in an attempt to sink one of his infamous leg-locks. It worked…maybe a little too well. In just 31 seconds, an agonized Mike Pierce was tapping from a heel-hook. As is custom in MMA, the winning fighter is supposed to release his grip and jump up on the cage to do some flexing. But not Rousimar. As he’s done so many times before, Palhares continued to hold the submission for a moment after the referee intervened — which must have seemed like an eternity to poor Mike Pierce.

Rousimar’s heel-hook was the only submission on the card, and would be worthy of a $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus even if there were other subs to compete with. Instead, the UFC decided to withhold the SOTN bonus due to Palhares’s “unsportsmanlike conduct,” and UFC President Dana White claimed that Palhares would receive an additional punishment for his actions. Palhares previously received a 90-day slap on the wrist** for holding a heel-hook against Tomasz Drwal at UFC 111. Maybe the next punishment will be severe enough for him to actually pay attention.

* By the way, when Palhares showed up in the cage, he almost looked like the old Palhares again. Ah, the miracle of rehydration.

** Allegedly.


UFC Fight Night 29: Maia vs. Shields — Live Results and Commentary

(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)

Let’s be honest, Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields may turn out to be the most piss-break worthy UFC main event since Mousasi vs. Latifi. Luckily, the supporting card for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 29 card is loaded with the kind of action-packed Brazil vs. The World matchups that the local fans go nuts for, including Thiago Silva’s absolute-must-win fight against Matt Hamill, and the freaky welterweight debut of Rousimar Palhares (who was not looking too good at the weigh-ins, by the way). Plus: Breast cancer awareness advocate Erick Silva faces off against Dong Hyun Kim, Fabio Maldonado slugs it out with Joey Beltran, and Brazilian Arianny enters our lives once again.

Handling the play-by-play for the FOX Sports 1 main card is Seth Falvo, who will be stacking live results and his own deep thoughts after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own thoughts into the comments section.