(In a moment, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure.) 

A lot of fight booking news today, Potato Nation.

With a featherweight title fight between Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes, the UFC debut of Siyar Bahadurzada, and some guaranteed fireworks in the Belfort/Johnson and Etim/Barboza scraps, UFC 142 is shaping up to be one hell of a card. But if, like me, you don’t get excited for a fight that lacks an outside possibility of descending into utter chaos, involving limb loss, premature celebration, and a lack of respect for the referee bordering on Earl Hebner levels of insanity, then boy are you in for a treat.

News broke earlier today that our favorite little appendage manipulator, Rousimar Palhares, has agreed to face New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio at UFC 142 in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. And although allowing Palhares to compete in his home country nearly cost him a victory over Dan Miller (who is also a Jersey native, ironically) in his last bout, “Toquinho” will no doubt be looking to impress against Massenzio, who may be fighting for his UFC career come January 14th. Just 1-3 in his last 4 UFC bouts (2-4 overall), Massenzio most recently scored a unanimous decision victory over the similarly struggling Steve Cantwell at UFC 136, making it Cantwell’s fourth straight decision loss in as many contests.

It’s been a while since the finals of this year’s ADCC tournament went down, but it wasn’t until recently that a couple of videos surfaced, and we decided to let you in on ‘em. Just because it’s Wednesday. The first comes from the end of TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes‘ Over 99kg gold earning effort over Strikeforce/UFC veteran Fabricio Werdum. After controlling the action for the majority of the fight, Magalhaes quickly found himself on the wrong end of a Werdum armbar.

And holy hell does Werdum crank that sucker. For about three minutes straight, “Vai Cavalo” bends Magalhaes’ arm from damn near every position, only taking breaks to re-position himself and inflict further torment. All the props in the world goes to Vinny, who manages to not only withstand the brutal hold for as long as he did, but free himself from it in as calm and collected a manner as possible. Speaking of calm and collected, let’s take a look at a man who has never, ever, been described as such.

(A little club soda will get that right out.)

When discussing his fourth round tapout loss to UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Jon Jones, Rampage Jackson explained that he lets no man put him to sleep because he doesn’t trust people. I’m not exactly certain what Jackson fears might unfold once he goes out, but vile atrocities such as antiquing and billboarding have been perpetrated on unconscious fighters before. But there’s a certain amount of trust that goes into tapping out as well. The tapout is nothing more than a gentlemen’s agreement, really, in which one fighter admits that he’s taken enough punishment for one day. But not everyone in the face-punching business is a gentleman, and sometimes your opponent may not agree that you’ve taken all of the damage you deserve.

When you hold a submission too long there’s a chance of causing damage to a limb or unconsciousness, but it always leads to hurt feelings.

(As if I needed an excuse to use this photo.)

For those of you who were too busy watching Jon Jones outgun Rampage Jackson to retain his light heavyweight title or Ben Rothwell fall to 0-1 at the hands of Mark Hunt this weekend, you may have overlooked the ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championships, which transpired in Nottingham, England of all places.

Andre Galvao easily had the best night of the bunch, taking gold in both the Under 88kg and Absolute tournaments, defeating Rousimar Palhares and Pablo Papovitch, respectively. Speaking of “Paul Harris”, he continued to prove that his mind is a fragile, ticking time bomb in his submission victory over David Avellan in their quarterfinal match. Things began to go off the rails when Palhares dove for his signature heel-hook-of-death on Avellan, and continued to crank it after the two rolled out of bounds and the referee yelled for a restart. I’ll let David’s brother Marcos, via his Facebook, explain the rest after the jump:

(Props: IronForgesIron via MMAMania)

If you missed the UFC 134 Spike TV Prelims broadcast on Saturday, then you missed Rousimar Palhares act as judge, jury, and (almost) executioner against Dan Miller. Near the end of the first round, Palhares landed a huge head kick that flattened Miller, and followed it up with some nasty punches from the top. And then he raised his arms in victory and strolled off to jump on the cage, as if the fight had been stopped, which it definitely hadn’t.

Herb Dean was forced to corral Palhares and tell him the fight was still going on. When the action was re-started, Miller immediately floored Palhares with a punch, but Palhares quickly recovered and did enough through the rest of the match to earn a comfortable unanimous decision win (29–27, 30–27, 30–25).

For ‘Toquinho’, it’s just the latest chapter in a controversial UFC career that has already included a 90-day suspension due to brutality, and an epically failed attempt to file a greasing complaint against Nate Marquardt while Marquardt was beating the crap out of him. But Palhares says the Miller non-stoppage was just a simple misunderstanding:

Don’t ever tell this guy you want to “hang out and twist one up” — it doesn’t translate well. VidProps: UFC/YouTube

Rousimar Palhares is the root cause of 35% of all cases of Restless Leg Syndrome on the planet. If you have fully-functioning knees, you have never rolled with Toquinho. If your initials are “ACL“, chances are you have woken up screaming in the middle of the night due to a nightmare you can barely remember, but you were strangely compelled to check under your bed for Palhares. In 1903, Hurricane Rousimar barreled through Puerto Rico and the northern coast of South America. No one was killed, but thousands were unable to walk normally for the rest of their lives. Chuck Norris is the reason giraffes have long necks (roundhouse kick), but Rousimar Palhares is the reason they have those gnarly knees (hoof hook).

Some of that stuff may possibly have been made up and/or hyperbolized, but we all know that, like the Wu-Tang Clan, Rousimar P. ain’t nothing to fuck with. With his UFC Rio bout with Dan Miller almost upon us, let’s all take a few moments to get to know Paul Harris a bit better. When he’s not ruining your mobility for life, he actually seems like a humble, friendly kind of guy. Just don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Leave your own boasts of Palhares’ crazy awesomeness in the comments, if you think you can do better.

[RX]

When we watched this video, we lost The Game. VidProps: PanicPulse/YouTube

Ed “Short Fuse” Herman impressed some of us last night when he went all Paul Harris on poor Kyle Noke, catching Noke with a heel hook and torquing that motherlover until Mario Yamasaki noticed Noke’s “owwie” face and tap simultaneously, stopping it with a minute left in the first round. No official word yet, but expect Noke to be walking gingerly for the next few weeks.

If you’re not familiar with the much-feared heel hook, take a quick peep at this video where the lovely Joanne Spracklen demonstrates the mechanics, and keep in mind that the twisting action at the heel puts a lot of strain on the knee of that leg. And when we say “a lot of strain”, we mean that ligaments pop and tissues tear when you start cranking on this.

Joanne illustrates the standard heel hook, whereas Herman pulled off the inverted variety, moving Noke’s leg to the other side of his hips and twisting the toes out away from the body; the effects are every bit as devastating.

Do NOT try this at home. Seriously, people talk about how kids are resilient and can bounce back from anything, but surgery on knee ligaments will slow even the best of them way down.

Plus, i’m being told that mine is past the manufacturer’s warranty period, and now i have to pay out of pocket to get him fixed. And that’s why we can’t have nice things.

[RX]

(“Hey Dan Meeller, did you hear we fighting in Hio?” “Really? That’s awesome! Thanks for the heads-up, Paul Harris.”)

The UFC announced today that Dan Miller (13-5 MMA, 5-4 UFC) will be stepping in for Alexandre ‘Cacareco’ Ferreira (18-7 MMA, 0-1 UFC) against Rousimar Palhares (12-3 MMA, 5-2 UFC) at UFC 134.

No reason was given for the “change of opponents” (Palhares-Ferreira was never officially announced) six weeks out from the show, but Miller will likely be up for the challenge having stepped into the Octagon on short notice in the past.

The New Jersey middleweight stepped in on four week’s notice for an injured Phil Baroni against John Salter at UFC 118 and on one week’s notice from the prelims to face Nate Marquardt at UFC 128 after Yoshihiro Akiyama was landlocked in Japan due to the recent Tsunami in March. In comparison, six weeks is pretty much a full camp for Miller.

(Okay, maybe Bob had a point. / Photo courtesy of the UFC on Versus 3 gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

For one night only, the KFC Yum! Center (actual venue name) will be replacing their Double Downs with a steady barrage of KNUCKLE SANDWICHES!!! SEE WHAT I DID THERE? OH SHIT, FORGOT TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK. Round-by-round results from the Versus broadcast will be accumulating after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT — right after a quick recap of the Facebook.com/UFC prelims. From Sanchez vs. Kampmann and Dollaway vs. Munoz to Bowles vs. Page  and Stevenson vs. Castillo, it’s gonna be a solid night of free fights, so refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and drop your two cents in the comments section.

("This big horsemeat-eating motherf*cker is next.")

There’s been a veritable orgy of UFC fight-bookings happening over the last couple days, and we might as well throw them all at you in one lump sum. We’ll start with one that might not be the biggest of the bunch, but definitely struck us as the strangest…

Jim Miller vs. Kamal Shalorus - UFC 128:
When Dana White proclaimed that Miller’s impressive kneebar submission win over Charles Oliveira at UFC 124 put him in the mix of  lightweight contenders, nobody figured that would mean that he’d be paired with an Octagon newcomer in his next bout. But this is the UFC, and sometimes the organization’s MMA math just doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense. The Sparta, New Jersey native will attempt to increase his winning streak to seven when he takes on  (7-0-2) WEC veteran Shalorus at UFC 128 in his backyard in New Jersey.

Dan Miller vs. David Branch - UFC 128:
Considering that his brother is on the card and they can save on cornermen hotel rooms and plane tickets, it’s a no-brainer that the UFC would have another local fighter like Miller on the card for UFC 128. The fact that they now have to pay Chuck Liddell’s seven-figure salary,  bar and strip club tabs has not been lost on the accounting department who have undoubtedly suggested some cost cutting measures that will be implemented in 2011. Wait until you see the beat-up budget ex-strippers they bring in to replace Arianny and Chandella.

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Brendan Schaub – UFC 128:
It turned out that reports earlier this week that a rumored bout between Schaub and Stephan Struve had been verbally agreed to by both fighters were incorrect. Instead, Schaub will look to climb over former PRIDE wrecking machine, Cro Cop on his way to a top five opponent in 2011.

Filipovic will attempt to prolong his rapidly shortening career by defeating the up-and-coming fighter who is riding a three-fight winning streak which includes a "W" over Gabriel Gonzaga — the last man to put Cro Cop to sleep prior to Frank Mir turning his lights out in his last outing at UFC 119.

("Stop it? My naughtiness, I thought you said, ‘Snap it.’"

When Rousimar Palhares inexplicably stopped to tell the ref that he thought Nate Marquardt’s leg felt greasy in their Ultimate Fight Night 22 bout Wednesday night, armchair fighters, referees and coaches alike collectively yelled, "What the hell are you doing?" at their television screens.

It turns out, they weren’t the only ones yelling.

Palhares’ longtime Brazilian Top Team trainer and coach, Murilo Bustamante told Tatame that he too was screaming from the sidelines for his charge not to let up and says that they have learned from the rookire mistake that may have cost Rousimar a title shot in the near future.

“We’ve talked about it a lot, he knows what he did wrong. I guarantee it won’t happen again, he learned the lesson on the worst possible way, paying for his distraction and lack of naughtiness," Bustamante explained. "Maybe the other fighter could stop to see what it was about, but Nate kept on going and didn’t do anything illegal. It was a lesson learned. It happens.”

(Props: Heavy)

The UFC handed out $40,000 performance bonuses to five fighters following UFC Fight Night: Marquardt vs. Palhares, including two separate "Submission of the Night" awards. The honorees are:

Knockout of the Night: Brian Foster, for his 67-second storming of Forrest Petz, which was the lone stoppage on the preliminary card. Petz now drops to 0-2 in his current UFC stint, and will most likely be shown the door.

Submission of the Night (1): Cole Miller, for dropping Ross Pearson with punches in the second round of their fight, then icing him with a rear-naked choke. Miller has scored the SotN award in three of his last five appearances, and officially enters the UFC Performance Bonus Leaderboard. 

Submission of the Night (2): Charles Oliveira, who pushed his record to 14-0 with a huge win over TUF 8 winner Efrain Escudero, secured via standing rear-naked choke in the third round. Though he had trouble getting Escudero to the mat in the first two frames, Oliveira showed off his tenacity in the victory, as well as some impressively unorthodox striking.

Fight of the Night: Kyle Kingsbury and Jared Hamman, for their fast-paced three-round brawl in the prelims. Despite a third-round rally from Hamman, Kingsbury’s domination and damage in the first two frames secured him 29-28 scores from all three judges.

Some other notes on the fights…

(Sometimes you forget how enormous Nate Marquardt is, and then you see him standing next to Chandella Powell and you’re like "damn, bro." / Photo courtesy of the UFN 22 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

What happens when you put two massively-jacked, notoriously aggressive middleweights in a cage together, one of whom is returning from a three-month suspension for his complete disregard of his opponents’ safety? Great things, we’re sure! Live play-by-play for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 22 event on Spike will be poppin’ off after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET. Check your local listings before wading into spoilers, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest results for Marquardt vs. Palhares, Efrain "El Gordo" Escudero vs. Charles Oliveira, Jim Miller vs. Gleison Tibau, and the outspoken Cole Miller vs. TUF 9 champ Ross Pearson. Be sure to stick around afterwards for the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck — or just read our episode recap tomorrow morning.

(Rousimar Palhares finishes Lucio Linhares at UFC 107 last December. Five of Palhares’s last seven wins have come via heel-hook submission. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

With Alan Belcher‘s main event fight against Demian Maia at UFC Fight Night 22 (September 15, Austin) nixed due to an eye injury, it’s now being reported that the Nate Marquardt vs. Rousimar Palhares feature scheduled for UFC 118 (August 28, Boston) will be pushed back two and a half weeks to serve as the Austin card’s headliner. Maia hasn’t been officially dropped from the UFN 22 lineup yet, though it seems likely that he’ll get a replacement opponent on a future event.

As for UFC 118, some shifting will need to be done to fill the empty main card slot, and potentially fill the hole that the replacement could create in the Spike TV Prelim broadcast. The lineup currently looks like this…

Sal Mora Video Interview for CagePotato.com with Nate Marquardt – Watch more Sports Videos

Coming back from his upset decision loss against Chael Sonnen at UFC 109, Nate Marquardt will look to regain his fire at UFC 118 (August 28th, Boston) against Rousimar Palhares, the longtime asshole who most recently caught a 90-day suspension for not letting go of Tomasz Drwal’s ankle at UFC 111. Our buddy Sal Mora caught up to Nate this weekend to get his thoughts on the matchup, UFC 117‘s Sonnen vs. Silva headliner, and more. Some highlights:

On his loss to Sonnen: "I didn’t follow my gameplan, and I paid for it. I put on a good show, but mentally I wasn’t there…I fought a wrestler exactly how you’re not supposed to fight a wrestler — just stepping straight forward, trying to knock him out with every punch. So, I learned my lesson. I put on a good fight so I think that’s important as well, but I definitely plan on being a lot stronger mentally this next fight."

("The creepy guy behind the ring? Don’t worry Rachelle, that’s just James McSweeney. He’ll probably ask you for a lock of your hair before you leave, but he’s cool." / Photo courtesy of twitter.com/nathanmarquardt)

– Though Nate Marquardt and Alessio Sakara were slated to meet at UFC 116 in July, Sakara has postponed his Octagon return due to the recent death of his father. So, the UFC did some re-shuffling and came up with the following: Sakara will now compete at UFC 118 (August 28th, Boston) against Jorge Rivera, who picked up his third-straight win in March when he wrecked Nate Quarry. As for Marquardt, he will also likely return in August (either UFC 118 or UFC 117), against Rousimar Palhares, who you may know as the asshole who holds his submissions for too long.

– Speaking of the UFC’s Boston show, hometown kid Joe Lauzon will try to rebound from his lopsided decision loss against Sam Stout when he meets up with British contender Terry Etim. Etim had a four-fight UFC win-streak snapped last month in Abu Dhabi when he fell to an armbar submission against Rafael Dos Anjos.

(Rousimar Palhares vs. Helio Dipp, 3/10/07. Dipp passes out at 2:06. Palhares lets go at 2:10. Despite the peppy soundtrack, nobody appears to be very happy about it.)

If you’re a UFC fighter who competes every four months, a 90-day suspension is a fairly empty gesture. Still, we have to give some props to the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board for making it officially known that holding onto a submission after the referee has stopped the fight is, at the very least, frowned upon. So why did they decide to make an example out of Rousimar Palhares, following his heel hook of Tomasz Drwal at UFC 111? Turns out, holding onto subs well past the point of necessity is a bad habit for "Toquinho":

(Lucio Linhares highlight reel courtesy of norja01.)

Tucked away on the preliminary card of UFC 107 this Saturday will be two promising Brazilian up-and-comers, trying to make their names on MMA’s greatest stage. Will they prove that they belong there, or will they just be more chum for the Octagon’s sharks? Let’s meet ‘em…

LUCIO LINHARES (MW)
Experience: 13-4 record, with multiple appearances in M-1 Challenge and Finland’s Fight Festival organization. Is currently on a five-fight win streak, with all wins by stoppage and notable victories over Karl Amoussou and Sean Salmon.
Will be facing: Rousimar Palhares (9-2, 2-1 UFC)
Lowdown: A native of Ipatinga, Brazil, the 36-year-old Linhares grew up studying a variety of martial arts including kung fu and capoeira before discovering jiu-jitsu. Now, "the gentle art" is how Spartan makes his living. Linhares is highly-regarded as a BJJ instructor, and his annual seminars in Finland have garnered him the unofficial title of "Godfather of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in Finland." (He also competed in the M-1 Challenge as a ringer for Team Finland.) Though Linhares’s start in MMA came relatively late in life, he’s enjoyed great success recently thanks to an improving stand-up game. He describes Palhares as "my hardest opponent to date." However: "I know I have a good Brazilian jiu-jitsu and I am confident to face anyone in the UFC because this is the moment of truth for me."

(Photo courtesy of daylife.com.)

Well, it looks like the Octagon will be short one dreadlocked Camaroonian. Multiple sources have confirmed that charismatic Team Quest fighter Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou has been released from his fight contract following his TKO loss to light-heavyweight up-and-comer Luis Cane at UFC 89 last month; the defeat dropped Soko’s UFC record down to 1-2, and his overall record to 5-3. Though he entered the UFC on a wave of hype last year with quick knockout victories over PRIDE stars Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Ricardo Arona under his belt, Sokodjou’s relative inexperience was exposed in his unsuccessful debut against Lyoto Machida, and now he’s been pink-slipped to sharpen up his game elsewhere.

Speaking of fighters who never lived up to the promise of their pre-UFC performances, Rich Franklin’s BFF Jorge Gurgel has been cut — despite winning a $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus at UFC 91 — and picked up by Strikeforce. Gurgel’s decision loss to Aaron Riley earlier this month was just another frustrating example of Gurgel brawling his way to defeat rather than use the fearsome jiu-jitsu that earned him a 9-1 record (with all wins by submission) before being signed by the UFC. Within the Octagon, Gurgel went 3-4, with all but one fight going to a decision.

Though he told MMA Junkie that the cut was "very humiliating" and "a crushing of my childhood dream," he also sounded hopeful in a press release distributed by Strikeforce, saying "To me, this is like a new start. I’m coming in fresh…I make some bad decisions because I have too much fun. I have never used my Jiu Jitsu in the UFC…[people] ask me why I don’t use my Jiu-Jitsu. I have so much fun standing up and I completely think I’m winning all the time…I will always bring the same intensity and I’m always going to fight 110 percent. I just want to be able to use everything that I know."

UFC 91 PPV numbers and more after the jump…

(Chuck Liddell vs. Rashad Evans)

(Nate Marquardt vs. Martin Kampmann)

(Dan Henderson vs. Rousimar Palhares)

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

- Do some UFC 88 pre-partying with Randy Couture. (Xtreme Couture)

- Mario Sperry betting on a Palhares victory, literally. (Tatame)

- Stone Cold Steve Austin breaks down Kimbo Slice-Ken Shamrock. (YouTube)

- Arguing over UFC 88, Randy’s return, and more. (MMA Rated)

- Martin Kampmann is ready to “kick ass.” (MMA Mania)

- Brock Lesnar got jokes. (Steve Cofield)

- One punch KO’s bully. (Nothing Toxic)

- Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates team up to produce something…strange. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Sarah Palin steps up to the mic. (Holy Taco)

- 11 craziest Ann Coulter moments. (Screen Junkies)

(The good, not-so-old days…)

The way Dan Henderson sees it, this fight with Rousimar Palhares is just a step he has to take in order to get that rematch with Anderson Silva. In a recent interview with Yahoo! Sports he admitted to not knowing who Palhares was when he accepted the fight — though he did some internet research and figured it out — and then went on to diagnose what went wrong for him against “The Spider” and how he plans to remedy that the next go-round:

“He’s got holes in his game,” said Henderson, who won the first round of the fight, before getting tired and being submitted in the second round. “He’s very athletic and can get away with it. I felt my conditioning was off. I got a little tired and didn’t push the takedown in the second round. If I’d have gotten it, I’d have won the round. I should have been more aggressive when I had him down in the first round. I didn’t expect to finish him so I didn’t try. I was looking to win the round.”

First off, it’s pretty generous to go ahead and attribute the loss entirely to fatigue in the second round. It’s true that Henderson did look to have Silva somewhat figured out in that first round. Trouble is, championship fights go five rounds, and if you don’t plan to finish someone, you’d damn well better be ready to go all five.

But it does remind us that Hendo is still a credible middleweight title challenger at a time when the UFC is desperate for them (no offense, Patrick Cote…okay, a little offense). When viewed through that prism, Henderson-Palhares is suddenly a lot more interesting. Can Henderson show that he’s got his cardio act together, and is thus deserving of another shot at Silva? Will fans give a damn if he does, or is Silva too far out in the stratosphere of pound-for-pound brilliance for the UFC to drum up sufficient interest in rematches with people he’s already beaten?

We’ll have to wait and see, but if Henderson goes out on Saturday and throttles Palhares, don’t be surprised if it’s followed by Mike Goldberg doing the old UFC hard sell on Henderson as number one contender. First he has to win the fight though, and preferably look for a finish this time.

(Dan Henderson and Rousimar Palhares)

(Martin Kampmann and Nate Marquardt)

Courtesy of ESPN video. After the jump: The latest episode of MMA Live, where Dana White discusses Randy Couture’s return to the UFC (and calls Fedor “irrelevant” again), Randy and Brock have an in-studio face-off, and Frank Mir teaches us the armbar that broke Tim Sylvia’s arm.

(‘Sup, pussies.)

It’s that time again, Potato Nation. Cage Potato’s two Bens square off on a host of issues swirling around UFC 88, including what’s to become of Rich Franklin as a light heavyweight, who has the best chances to score an upset on Saturday night, and more. Let’s get it, as they say, on.

Does Chuck Liddell really deserve a title shot if he beats Rashad Evans?

Goldstein: A two-fight win streak isn’t much, but it’ll be more than any other top-tier UFC light-heavyweight contender can boast on Sunday morning, with the exception of Lyoto Machida and Thiago Silva — and one of those guys is going to take his first loss next month. The question really is: Who deserves it more, Chuck or the winner of that all-Brazilian eliminator match?

In terms of creating a title fight that fans want to see, Liddell has to be at the front of the line. Chuck vs. Forrest will get fans insanely fired up. The alternative is watching Forrest and (probably) Machida dance around each other for five rounds — I have my doubts about the entertainment value of that matchup. And not to play the race card, but I understand why an American MMA organization is hesitant to create a situation where three of its five champions, as Mike Goldberg would say, “speak the Portuguesa.” (I’m counting Big Nog as one of them, of course; he’s my pick to come out on top of the imminent four-man heavyweight “tournament,” but that’s another debate.)

Chuck’s been unwaveringly loyal to the UFC during his career, and he deserves to be treated well in his final years with the company. If that means jumping ahead of someone who may deserve it more in terms of merit, so be it. Though if they want to put Liddell against Anderson Silva in December before he gets a shot at the belt, well, that’s cool too.

Fowlkes: When it comes to the UFC and title shots, I like to remind myself of a line from the movie Unforgiven: deserve’s got nothing to do with it. In a perfect fighting world, the fight would be set up so that the winner gets a title shot, regardless of who that is. But we both know that even if “Sugar” wins he’s not shooting to the top of the list. So the question is, would beating Evans be enough to reasonably justify putting Liddell up against Forrest Griffin next, which is the fight the UFC really wants to make?

(Photo courtesy of DanHenderson.com)

MMA Weekly reports that Dan Henderson’s next Octagon appearance will be a middleweight bout against Rousimar Palhares at UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta). Palhares (8-1) is the Brazilian Top Team rising star who pwned Ivan Salaverry so hardcore during his Octagon debut at UFC 84 that Salaverry retired from fighting. Henderson is coming off of back-to-back title fight losses, to Quinton Jackson at UFC 75 and Anderson Silva at UFC 82. Palhares has serious potential, to be sure, but his relative lack of experience puts him at a great disadvantage against one of the most accomplished fighters in the world. Still, if Palhares can pull off an upset, he’ll put himself in the mix for a middleweight title shot.

In other UFC fight-booking news…

— Joe Lauzon has agreed to fight Kyle Bradley at UFC Fight Night 15 (September 17th; Omaha, Nebraska). Bradley, a Team Voodoo product and veteran of various regional leagues, made his Octagon debut as a welterweight at UFC 81, where he was destroyed by Chris Lytle in 33 seconds. He’ll now be fighting at his natural weight of 155.

— Rory Markham, a Bettendorf-based IFL standout who most recently submitted Jay Ellis at Adrenaline 1 on June 14th, will be making his UFC debut at UFC Fight Night 14 (July 19th, Las Vegas). His opponent will be Brodie Farber, a former Rage in the Cage middleweight champion who’s won his last six fights in the MMA Xtreme organization.

— Thomasz Drwal, the Polish light-heavyweight whose 13-fight win streak was snapped by Thiago Silva at UFC 75, will make his second Octagon appearance at UFC 87 (August 9th, Minneapolis) against 5-0 IFL veteran Andre Gusmao. Drwal was slated to fight David Heath in February, but was forced to pull out of the bout with a knee injury.

($225,000: Enough to buy a new pickup truck and a healthy white baby.)

Official salary and bonus numbers for UFC 84′s fighters have been released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Here’s how the guys stacked up:

B.J. Penn: $250,000 ($125,000 to show, $125,000 to win)
Wanderlei Silva: $225,000 ($150,000 to show*, $75,000 for Knockout of the Night)
Tito Ortiz: $210,000
Lyoto Machida: $100,000 ($50,000 to show, $50,000 to win)
Wilson Gouveia: $93,000 ($18,000 to show, $75,000 for Fight of the Night)
Rousimar Palhares: $85,000 ($5,000 to show, $5,000 to win, $75,000 for Submission of the Night)
Goran Reljic: $81,000 ($3,000 to show, $3,000 to win, $75,000 for Fight of the Night)
Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou: $80,000 ($40,000 to show, $40,000 to win)
Thiago Silva: $50,000 ($25,000 to show, $25,000 to win)
Rich Clementi: $40,000 ($20,000 to show, $20,000 to win)
Dong Hyun Kim: $40,000 ($20,000 to show, $20,000 to win)
Sean Sherk: $35,000
Kazuhiro Nakamura: $20,000
Ivan Salaverry: $20,000
Shane Carwin: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 to win)
Yoshiyuki Yoshida: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 to win)
Terry Etim: $10,000
Keith Jardine: $10,000
Christian Wellisch: $10,000
Jon Koppenhaver: $8,000
Antonio Mendes: $4,000
Jason Tan: $3,000
* Wanderlei Silva’s guaranteed $150,000 salary doesn’t depend on a win bonus.

Overpaid: Wilson Gouveia. Looking back on UFC 84 a year from now, is the two-round almost-war between Gouveia and Goran Reljic going to be remembered by anyone? Yes, Reljic’s relentless left head-kicks were pretty, but Gouveia should have eventually figured out that they were coming. (For us, the presence of Mirko Cro Cop in Reljic’s corner was the early tip-off.)

Underpaid: A lot of people — particularly Shane Carwin, whose Knockout of the Night bonus was robbed from him by Wanderlei Silva. The way I saw it, Carwin’s single-punch, mouthpiece-ejecting KO of Christian Wellisch was more deserving then Wandy’s slightly more prolonged ground-and-pound TKO of Jardine, and Carwin could probably use the money more. Other than that, what the fuck is up with the UFC’s newcomers making three, four, and six thousand dollars to show? Goddamned slave wages. The UFC made $3.7 million off of “Ill Will”‘s gate; they could certainly afford to establish a minimum base salary of $10,000 for their fighters if they wanted to.

Get ‘em while they last…

BJ Penn vs. Sean Sherk

Wanderlei Silva vs. Keith Jardine (Knockout of the Night)

Rousimar Palhares vs. Ivan Salaverry (Submission of the Night)

One UFC newcomer we forgot to mention in our post on the UFC 84 lineup was Rousimar “Toquinho” Palhares, a 7-1 Brazilian Top Team fighter who will be facing off against middleweight Ivan Salaverry on the show’s undercard. Five of Palhares’s seven wins have come via first-round submission. To give you a taste of what “Toquinho” is capable of, here are his two fights from a single-night, four-man Fury FC tournament last December, where Palhares defeated Fabio Negao and Daniel Acacio, both by leglock.

(Dong Hyun Kim could soon be scrapping with the likes of Mike Swick and Marcus Davis. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.com.)

Most American MMA fans may be unfamiliar with the UFC’s two most recent hires, but both men look poised to punch a hole in their competition. First up is Rousimar Palhares, a Brazilian Top Team member who the UFC just signed to add some spark to their middling middleweight division. Palhares has a 7-1 record, with six of those wins coming via first-round stoppage (mostly submissions), and he won the Fury FC middleweight Grand Prix last month with swift victories over Fabio Negao and Daniel Acacio. Check out this video of his fight with Negao, and the acrobatic leg-lock he finishes the match with at the video’s 3:49 mark:

Joining the UFC’s relatively crowded welterweight division will be Dong Hyun Kim, an undefeated Korean fighter who holds wins over Hidehiko Hasegawa, Hidenobo Koike, and Yukiharu Maejima in the DEEP organization. Five of Kim’s eight wins have come by KO/TKO, including this first-round mauling of Kousei Kubota, who asked for the punishment by stomping on Kim’s feet with shoes on:

So, the dude can bang. Look for Kim to make his first Octagon appearance as early as March.