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Tag: Rousimar Palhares

The Seven Greatest One-Trick Ponies in MMA

(“It’s called an ‘illusion’, okay? A ‘trick’ is something a whore does for money.”)

Leading up to her Strikeforce title fight against Miesha Tate on Saturday, Ronda Rousey bristled at the suggestion that she was a “one-trick pony” simply because she had finished all four of her professional MMA fights — and her two amateur fights before that — by armbar. Then, Rousey finished Tate by armbar anyway.

But being a one-trick pony shouldn’t be a derogatory term in MMA. If you’re so good at your specialized technique that you can finish top-flight opponents with it, even though they know it’s coming, then you should be applauded, not criticized. So let’s pay tribute to the seven greatest one-trickers in mixed martial arts. If we’ve left out any good ones, please let us know in the comments section.

Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 100% (5 armbar wins in 5 pro fights)
Does she have a nickname based on that trick?: No
How long can Ronda’s perfect armbar streak last? Unlike some of the other names on this list, “Rowdy” has proven that she can land her technique-of-choice against the elite of her division. Rousey faces former Strikeforce 135-pound champion Sarah Kaufman next, and it might be a good sign that Kaufman’s sole career loss — against Marloes Coenen in 2010 — came via armbar.


Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 72.2% (13 armbar wins in 18 pro fights)
Does he have a nickname based on that trick?: Yes, “The Arm Collector”
Carrying an overall record of 17-1, Givanildo Santana has torqued elbow-joints all over the world. Santana picked up his 13th armbar win during his Bellator debut in October, and is a dark horse to sweep the promotion’s upcoming middleweight tournament.


Crazy Story of the Day: Rousimar Palhares Had His First Birthday Cake Ever Last Sunday

(What do you mean marrow is not a flavor?!!) 

We have all heard the legend of Rousimar Palhares. Born in a radioactive swamp deep in the Brazilian jungle, “Toquinho” was raised in captivity, locked in a dark, damp cellar that only received 15 minutes of sunlight a day. It was a cruel, traumatizing upbringing, but the townspeople agreed that it was the only way to maintain the utopia they had built. Living off bread crumbs and rage for the first 20 years of his life, Palhares vowed to seek revenge on those who had enslaved him. Unfortunately for the world, he could only see the ankles of his overlords through a crack beneath the bolted steel door that held him, so his curse did not have the luxury of extending to only those who entered Camp Crystal Lake, or she who read from the Necronomicon. If you were born with a pair of ankles, then Palhares is coming for you.

Thankfully, “Toquinho” celebrated his 32nd birthday last Sunday, so the appendages of mankind have been granted a reprieve for a couple more days. Why, you ask? Well as it turns out, this past Sunday went down as a particularly special birthday for the middleweight mangling machine, as it was the first one in which he was given a cake. Unfortunately, his friends and family decided to throw a surprise party for this glorious celebration. There were no survivors.

Check out Rousimar’s reaction to the surprise after the jump.


Palhares Versus Belcher Slated for May 5 ‘UFC on Fox 3′ Card

(And, yes, Dana has unblocked us on Twitter…Baby steps, right?)

UFC president Dana White announced this afternoon that a middleweight bout between Rousimar “The Kneejerk“ Palhares and Alan “The Talent” Belcher has been signed for the May 5 UFC on Fox 3 card.

The event, which will take place at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey, will also feature Jim Miller versus Nate Diaz and Josh Koscheck versus Johny Hendricks on the main card.


Urban Legend *Officially* Debunked: Alleged Palhares Heel Hook Victim Was Actually an Injured Mexican Military Cop

(The party is always always popping when Paul Harris is fighting.)

Astute reader Johnnyozone22 sent us a link today that officially confirms our suspicions that the gruesome photo of an alleged Rousimar Palhares leg break victim that made the rounds this week was a fake.

Well, the photo itself is real, it’s just that the unnamed man in the pic isn’t purported former Palhares heel hook victim Isaiah Ordiz. It’s actually a triage photo of an injured Mexican police officer who was injured in a gun fight outside of a Matamoros, Tamaulipas police station last week.

One bit of evidence that helped propel the manufactured story was the name of the alleged injury victim. According to reports, the dude in the photo is Isaiah Ordiz, who actually is a jiu-jitsu competitor. The problem is, Ordiz was a white belt back in 2010, so it’s very unlikely that he competed with Paul Harris last week in a random grappling competition.

It’s okay, Toquinho. We still think you’re a badass. Props to your PR team for arguing your case for a title shot. *slow clap*

If you have the stomach for it, you can check out the photo in question after the jump.


Urban Legend Alert: Rousimar Palahares Being Unfairly Blamed for a Leg-Breaking He Didn’t Commit

(True story.)

Rousimar Palhares‘s reputation for unsportsmanlike leg-breaking, terrifying aggression, and general insanity is well-documented, and well-deserved. But now that he’s being blamed for leg-murders he didn’t even commit, we felt it was time to step in to defend him.

This morning, as part of their Blood Week series, Deadspin linked to a photo of a man on a table, with his femur sticking out of his leg. If you really, really need to see it, just hit the “next page” link at the end of this post. [Ed. note: Don't actually do that.] As Deadspin writes:

Click through to see what happened to Isiah Ordiz’s femur after he wouldn’t tap out of a heel hook from Rousimar Palhares. I cannot stress this enough: this is a Faces of Death-level photo and you will wish you hadn’t seen it.

Immediately, my bullshit sensors went off. I researched an entire article about Palhares’s assholish history of leg abuse two years ago, and there’s no way I would leave out something this gruesome and dramatic, if there was any record of it on the Internet. The fact that this is surfacing now makes it suspect to begin with. Surely us MMA fans would have already heard of it?


Milton Vieira Signs With the UFC

Who is Milton Vieira, you ask? Well, other than a second degree black belt under Murilo Bustamante and a 13-7 veteran of such promotions as Deep, Strikeforce, and PRIDE, Vieira is also widely considered to be the inventor of the anaconda choke. A Brazilian Top Team standout who trains with the likes of Rousimar Palhares, “Miltinho” is credited as the creator of the submission popularized by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria in his early PRIDE days, specifically in his back-to-back victories over Hirotaka Yokoi and Heath Herring. Big Nog claims that he was taught the maneuver by Vieira back when he used to train at BTT in the early 2000′s.

Coming off a successful first round Brabo choke victory over Sterling Ford at Strikeforce Challengers 18, Vieira will be making his featherweight debut for his first UFC contest, though a date and opponent has yet to be named.


UFC Quoteathon: Joe Rogan Explains Himself, Guillard Leaves Team Jackson, And Chael Sonnen Is Still Bitter

(An artist’s depiction of what was going through Joe Rogan’s mind the moment he found out Eric Silva had been DQ’ed. And yes, Joe Rogan appears in his own fantasies.) 

Much has been made of Joe Rogan‘s impromptu interview with referee Mario Yamasaki following his decision to disqualify Erick Silva at UFC 142 this past weekend. Some are saying it was a totally unprofessional move by Rogan, while others believe it would have been unprofessional of him not to question the seemingly botched ruling by the longtime UFC official. Whether or not you agree with Rogan’s decision (or Yamasaki’s, for that matter), we can all agree that the Silva/Prater fight proved the necessity for a stricter policy in regards to an instant replay in areas other than Nevada. Rogan, however, has already taken to the internet, specifically the UG, to explain why he chose to put Yamasaki on the spot:

He’s a great guy, and I’m always happy to see him. When I step into the octagon however, I represent the people watching at home that might have obvious questions, and when something is controversial I’m forced to confront it honestly because that’s what I would want to hear from a person in my position if I was a fan watching it at home.

I think Mario Yamasaki is one of the best in the world at refereeing MMA. No doubt about it. He’s got great insight to the sport, he’s a life long martial artist, and he’s a really smart guy. What I was acting from, is that I saw an incredible young talent get denied a KO victory for a questionable call. When I entered into the Octagon and was told of the official ruling that Silva was going to be disqualified for illegal blows to the back of the head everyone that I was around who heard the news opened their mouths in shock. Everyone said, “what?”

The people in the truck couldn’t believe it. I had to read it back to them because I thought it was a mistake, and when I leaned over to explain it to Goldie he couldn’t believe it either. I had to ask Mario about it. I didn’t know how he was going to respond, but I had to ask him.

Erick Silva is a very promising fighter and I felt like I had a responsibility to address the issue. No disrespect intended.

Join us after the jump for more interesting tidbits from around the MMA world, some of which may or may not be completely made up.


UFC 142: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

UFC 142 Gabriel Gonzaga
(Face, you are a scary. / Photo via FOX Sports)

By Mark Dorsey
One final recap of Saturday night’s UFC 142: Aldo vs. Mendes event, Clint Eastwood-style.

The Good
Edson Barboza‘s astounding spinning heel kick knockout of Terry Etim. Mike Goldberg might have been exaggerating a bit when he called it “maybe the most spectacular knockout in UFC history,” but it’s certainly the early front-runner for Greatest Knockout of 2012. And props to Joe Rogan for immediately recalling Baraboza’s prior use of the kick against Anthony Njokuani. As Rogan mentioned, it’s an under-utilized technique that we may start to see come in-vogue in 2012, much like the crane kick in 2011.

Gabriel Gonzaga needed a good performance to provoke any sort of excitement in his return to the UFC’s heavyweight division. Even sweeter than his early finish was his proclamation that we can expect to see him return to the submission base that generated so much interest in his first run at UFC contention.

• After two highly energetic Brazilian shows within a year, the UFC has found its most passionate and dedicated audience. The crowd at the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro was loud, enthusiastic, and everything one would expect from a bunch of rowdy Brazilian fight fans. There was a good amount of variation in the chants throughout the night — from “U.S.A., to “Thiago,” to the famous soccer anthem “ole ole ole” — and a surreal crowd-surfing celebration from defending featherweight champion Jose Aldo capped off the incredible fan involvement.


UFC 142 GIF Party: The Finishes & Other Highlights

Behold: a shining example of “kick face“. (Photo:

Brazilian fans are credited with being the most raucous audience in the world, and last night’s fighters gave them plenty to cheer about. Six of the nine bouts ended via knock out or submission*, with five of those stoppages coming in the first round.

Chokes, knees, and even a spinning wheel kick punctuated last night’s fights (*as did a controversial referee stoppage). Pop on in for a motion picture tribute to UFC 142.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet.


‘UFC 142: Aldo vs. Mendes’ — Main Event Liveblog

“I’m not even kidding you, man! It must have been four feet of linguiça. And ‘Humble’ ate the whole thing, just now backstage!” (Photo:

It’s 1 AM in Rio De Janeiro and and the locals have turned out in droves to cheer on their countrymen and wish death upon foreigners. It may not be very sporting of them, but we’ve pretty much thrown professionalism out the window this weekend.

Is Mendes the right Alpha Male to topple Aldo in his own backyard? Does Belfort have enough power to put away one of the UFC’s top heavyweights? And will Palhares’s overwhelming desire to tear limbs apart overcome his instinct to stop fighting in the middle of a bout?

Come join me, Chris Colemon, inside for the answers to these questions and more.