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Tag: Rousimar Palhares

‘UFC 142: Aldo vs. Mendes’ — Main Event Liveblog

“I’m not even kidding you, man! It must have been four feet of linguiça. And ‘Humble’ ate the whole thing, just now backstage!” (Photo:

It’s 1 AM in Rio De Janeiro and and the locals have turned out in droves to cheer on their countrymen and wish death upon foreigners. It may not be very sporting of them, but we’ve pretty much thrown professionalism out the window this weekend.

Is Mendes the right Alpha Male to topple Aldo in his own backyard? Does Belfort have enough power to put away one of the UFC’s top heavyweights? And will Palhares’s overwhelming desire to tear limbs apart overcome his instinct to stop fighting in the middle of a bout?

Come join me, Chris Colemon, inside for the answers to these questions and more.


Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 142 Edition

UFC 142 goes down this Saturday from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and though it doesn’t feature quite as epic a lineup as the UFC’s return to Brazil at UFC 134, the fact that the card has still maintained its two marquee match-ups is something to brag about, if only due to how cursed a card this has been. So if you, like Siyar Bahadurzada, Paulo Thiago, Stanislav Nedkov, and Fabio Maldanado, find yourself watching the action from the sidelines on Saturday night and suddenly in need of some extra dough, then we are here to help. Check out the betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and join us after the jump for some sound betting advice.

Main Card
Erick Silva (-525) vs. Carlo Prater (+415)
Edson Barboza (-270) vs. Terry Etim (+230)
Rousimar Palhares (-525) vs. Mike Massenzio (+415)
Anthony Johnson (-110) vs. Vitor Belfort (-110)
Jose Aldo (-240) vs. Chad Mendes (+200)

Preliminary Card
Antonio Carvalho (-225) vs. Felipe Arantes (+175)
Mike Pyle (-460) vs. Ricardo Funch (+340)
Yuri Alcantara (-195) vs. Michihiro Omigawa (+160)
Sam Stout (EV) vs. Thiago Tavares (-140)
Gabriel Gonzaga (-120) vs. Edinaldo Oliveira (-110)


Technique Video of the Day: The Russian Toe Hold That Will Kill Us All

I awoke this morning to find a lone, blinking message on my answering machine. The messenger, whom shall be referred to as Minowaman for the time being, informed me of a video that would not only change the MMA and combat sports world’s forever, but possibly reignite the long, bitter tensions between the United States and Russia. And now, I will pass it on to you, Potato Nation, as I can only assume that shit in my town is about to go Red Dawn within the hour.

Amidst a deadly crew of English-speaking, Russian sleeper cells, a lone FBI agent, code name Gull of the Sea (at his request), was able to infiltrate a remote, Russian facility, like so, and record the following video of the illegal toe hold technology that the Russians have been building up for years.


Mike Massenzio to Receive Involuntary Knee Surgery Compliments of Dr. Paul Harris at UFC 142

(In a moment, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure.

A lot of fight booking news today, Potato Nation.

With a featherweight title fight between Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes, the UFC debut of Siyar Bahadurzada, and some guaranteed fireworks in the Belfort/Johnson and Etim/Barboza scraps, UFC 142 is shaping up to be one hell of a card. But if, like me, you don’t get excited for a fight that lacks an outside possibility of descending into utter chaos, involving limb loss, premature celebration, and a lack of respect for the referee bordering on Earl Hebner levels of insanity, then boy are you in for a treat.

News broke earlier today that our favorite little appendage manipulator, Rousimar Palhares, has agreed to face New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio at UFC 142 in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. And although allowing Palhares to compete in his home country nearly cost him a victory over Dan Miller (who is also a Jersey native, ironically) in his last bout, “Toquinho” will no doubt be looking to impress against Massenzio, who may be fighting for his UFC career come January 14th. Just 1-3 in his last 4 UFC bouts (2-4 overall), Massenzio most recently scored a unanimous decision victory over the similarly struggling Steve Cantwell at UFC 136, making it Cantwell’s fourth straight decision loss in as many contests.


WTF Videos of the Day: Vinny Magalhaes’ Rubber Arm and Rousimar Palhares’ Peanut Brain

It’s been a while since the finals of this year’s ADCC tournament went down, but it wasn’t until recently that a couple of videos surfaced, and we decided to let you in on ‘em. Just because it’s Wednesday. The first comes from the end of TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes‘ Over 99kg gold earning effort over Strikeforce/UFC veteran Fabricio Werdum. After controlling the action for the majority of the fight, Magalhaes quickly found himself on the wrong end of a Werdum armbar.

And holy hell does Werdum crank that sucker. For about three minutes straight, “Vai Cavalo” bends Magalhaes’ arm from damn near every position, only taking breaks to re-position himself and inflict further torment. All the props in the world goes to Vinny, who manages to not only withstand the brutal hold for as long as he did, but free himself from it in as calm and collected a manner as possible. Speaking of calm and collected, let’s take a look at a man who has never, ever, been described as such.


When Good Submissions Go Bad: Six Fighters Who Ignored the Tap

(A little club soda will get that right out.)

When discussing his fourth round tapout loss to UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Jon Jones, Rampage Jackson explained that he lets no man put him to sleep because he doesn’t trust people. I’m not exactly certain what Jackson fears might unfold once he goes out, but vile atrocities such as antiquing and billboarding have been perpetrated on unconscious fighters before. But there’s a certain amount of trust that goes into tapping out as well. The tapout is nothing more than a gentlemen’s agreement, really, in which one fighter admits that he’s taken enough punishment for one day. But not everyone in the face-punching business is a gentleman, and sometimes your opponent may not agree that you’ve taken all of the damage you deserve.

When you hold a submission too long there’s a chance of causing damage to a limb or unconsciousness, but it always leads to hurt feelings.


ADCC 2011 Results: Lister, Magalhaes, Galvao, and Kyra Gracie Take Home Gold in Respective Divisions

(As if I needed an excuse to use this photo.)

For those of you who were too busy watching Jon Jones outgun Rampage Jackson to retain his light heavyweight title or Ben Rothwell fall to 0-1 at the hands of Mark Hunt this weekend, you may have overlooked the ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championships, which transpired in Nottingham, England of all places.

Andre Galvao easily had the best night of the bunch, taking gold in both the Under 88kg and Absolute tournaments, defeating Rousimar Palhares and Pablo Papovitch, respectively. Speaking of “Paul Harris”, he continued to prove that his mind is a fragile, ticking time bomb in his submission victory over David Avellan in their quarterfinal match. Things began to go off the rails when Palhares dove for his signature heel-hook-of-death on Avellan, and continued to crank it after the two rolled out of bounds and the referee yelled for a restart. I’ll let David’s brother Marcos, via his Facebook, explain the rest after the jump:


UFC 134 GIF: The Fight Is Over When Rousimar Palhares Says It’s Over

(Props: IronForgesIron via MMAMania)

If you missed the UFC 134 Spike TV Prelims broadcast on Saturday, then you missed Rousimar Palhares act as judge, jury, and (almost) executioner against Dan Miller. Near the end of the first round, Palhares landed a huge head kick that flattened Miller, and followed it up with some nasty punches from the top. And then he raised his arms in victory and strolled off to jump on the cage, as if the fight had been stopped, which it definitely hadn’t.

Herb Dean was forced to corral Palhares and tell him the fight was still going on. When the action was re-started, Miller immediately floored Palhares with a punch, but Palhares quickly recovered and did enough through the rest of the match to earn a comfortable unanimous decision win (29–27, 30–27, 30–25).

For ‘Toquinho’, it’s just the latest chapter in a controversial UFC career that has already included a 90-day suspension due to brutality, and an epically failed attempt to file a greasing complaint against Nate Marquardt while Marquardt was beating the crap out of him. But Palhares says the Miller non-stoppage was just a simple misunderstanding:


Better Know A Fighter: Rousimar Palhares

Don’t ever tell this guy you want to “hang out and twist one up” — it doesn’t translate well. VidProps: UFC/YouTube

Rousimar Palhares is the root cause of 35% of all cases of Restless Leg Syndrome on the planet. If you have fully-functioning knees, you have never rolled with Toquinho. If your initials are “ACL“, chances are you have woken up screaming in the middle of the night due to a nightmare you can barely remember, but you were strangely compelled to check under your bed for Palhares. In 1903, Hurricane Rousimar barreled through Puerto Rico and the northern coast of South America. No one was killed, but thousands were unable to walk normally for the rest of their lives. Chuck Norris is the reason giraffes have long necks (roundhouse kick), but Rousimar Palhares is the reason they have those gnarly knees (hoof hook).

Some of that stuff may possibly have been made up and/or hyperbolized, but we all know that, like the Wu-Tang Clan, Rousimar P. ain’t nothing to fuck with. With his UFC Rio bout with Dan Miller almost upon us, let’s all take a few moments to get to know Paul Harris a bit better. When he’s not ruining your mobility for life, he actually seems like a humble, friendly kind of guy. Just don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Leave your own boasts of Palhares’ crazy awesomeness in the comments, if you think you can do better.



Technique Video of the Day: Hook the Heel, Wreck the Knee

When we watched this video, we lost The Game. VidProps: PanicPulse/YouTube

Ed “Short Fuse” Herman impressed some of us last night when he went all Paul Harris on poor Kyle Noke, catching Noke with a heel hook and torquing that motherlover until Mario Yamasaki noticed Noke’s “owwie” face and tap simultaneously, stopping it with a minute left in the first round. No official word yet, but expect Noke to be walking gingerly for the next few weeks.

If you’re not familiar with the much-feared heel hook, take a quick peep at this video where the lovely Joanne Spracklen demonstrates the mechanics, and keep in mind that the twisting action at the heel puts a lot of strain on the knee of that leg. And when we say “a lot of strain”, we mean that ligaments pop and tissues tear when you start cranking on this.

Joanne illustrates the standard heel hook, whereas Herman pulled off the inverted variety, moving Noke’s leg to the other side of his hips and twisting the toes out away from the body; the effects are every bit as devastating.

Do NOT try this at home. Seriously, people talk about how kids are resilient and can bounce back from anything, but surgery on knee ligaments will slow even the best of them way down.

Plus, i’m being told that mine is past the manufacturer’s warranty period, and now i have to pay out of pocket to get him fixed. And that’s why we can’t have nice things.