(This shit again? Oh, yes. This shit again. / Photo via Getty Images)

Twitter rallies, brutal victories and even celebrity endorsements could not get Mark Hunt what he deserved — a clear path to the UFC heavyweight title. When Hunt was booked for UFC 160 against former champion Junior Dos Santos, however, it looked like the New Zealander’s violent campaign had finally paid off.

Dana White said that Dos Santos would get a title shot should he beat Hunt, so if Hunt crushed those plans, then he would be the unquestioned #1 contender in the division, right? UFC gold appeared to be within stumpy-limb striking distance for the former K-1 Grand Prix Champion.

Alas, ‘The Man’ just didn’t want to see Hunt get his. Last week, a 2002 arrest from which no charges resulted magically came to the attention of U.S. officials, who as of yet have refused to issue the New Zealander a visa to travel to the states, threatening his chances of competing at the “Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2″ event on May 25th. (If you have to ask who ‘The Man’ is in this situation, you are clearly a part of the conspiracy against Mark Hunt. Narc.)

The UFC is not giving up on Hunt fighting at UFC 160, though they do appear to be hedging their bets. “To put anything to rest, we are confident the issue will be resolved and we anticipate Mark competing in the co-main event for UFC 160,” the UFC’s Director of Communications, Dave Sholler, told media during a Tuesday teleconference. ”Our team is working through that issue and we anticipate Mark making his way to the United States this weekend.”

(Man, the Jack Links people are gonna be pissed when they realize their mascot is jumping ship for Subway.) 

Alright, so we all know that Daniel Cormier is fat. And, of course, we all also know that fat people are what Roy Nelson eats for his three squares each day. Preferably after they’ve been dipped in a vat of sausage gravy and deep fried.

The guy’s big.

As such, fans and fighters alike have often wondered aloud if the two would be better suited at a lighter weight class – say, light heavyweight. However, both guys continue to kick ass at heavyweight, which kinda makes it hard to say that they should feel a sense of urgency to drop a weight class (except, you know, so as not to die in ten years from a heart attack, Roy).

Nelson is coming off a knockout of professional Greek Statue Model, Cheick Kongo, and Cormier just dominated his second former UFC heavyweight champion. There has been talk of the two facing each other next. But there’s also been talk, mainly from Dana White, that Cormier could get an automatic shot at champion Jon Jones should he choose to drop down to 205lbs.

At first, it seemed liked both Nelson and Cormier were down to face one another, but then “Big Country’s” manager made him look like a chicken – a succulent, golden-fried chicken — by nixing the proposed matchup. Fortunately, Nelson spoke with Bloody Elbow recently and cleared things up once and for all. We guess.

As far Daniel [Cormier], I think the reason Mike, my manager, said anything about Daniel is because he’s supposed be getting an immediate title shot at 205. If he’s going down to 205, it doesn’t really make any sense to fight him, unless we’re going to fight for a 205 contendership. Then hey, we can do that, too. 

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(Y’know, drinking a gallon of buttermilk every morning doesn’t make much sense either, but that never stopped him from doing it. / Photo via Joshua Wood @ MMAValor)

Roy Nelson‘s knockout of Cheick Kongo last weekend marked his third first-round KO victory in a row, and earned Big Country the first three-fight win streak of his UFC career — which means that the UFC has to start treating him like a legitimate heavyweight contender again, rather than a gray-bearded novelty act. So who’s next on Big Country’s menu? Following UFC 159, Dana White suggested that either Mark Hunt or Daniel Cormier could be the next opponent for Nelson, which makes perfect sense if we’re putting together matchups solely based on body type.

Nelson’s camp, however, doesn’t agree with one of those names. According to a report from Ariel Helwani earlier this week, Nelson’s manager Mike Kogan said he’s not interested in a fight against Cormier. “He doesn’t think it makes any sense for Nelson,” Helwani explained on UFC Tonight. Instead, Kogan would prefer Nelson to fight Hunt, Antonio Silva (if he loses to Cain Velasquez at UFC 160), or Junior dos Santos…despite the fact that Dos Santos already slaughtered Nelson back in 2010.

It’s obvious why the Nelson camp would want to avoid a guy like Cormier — he’s incredibly dangerous, but he still doesn’t carry the same name value as the other UFC vets that Kogan mentioned. And let’s face it, Nelson’s odds of beating Hunt or Bigfoot are a lot better than his odds of beating DC. (Let’s just forget Kogan said anything about Dos Santos. That’s a damn suicide mission, and we all know it.) From a managerial perspective, it’s solid advice. Devil’s advocate, though: Cormier is rightly ranked as the #2 contender according to the UFC’s official rankings, and beating him would place Nelson closer to a heavyweight title shot than a win over Hunt or Antonio Silva would.

Personally I think Nelson vs. Cormier makes dollars and sense. See what I did there? DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH??? Anyway, let us know how you see it in the comments section.

(Cheick Kongo had never seen Deliverance before, yet in that moment, he somehow knew what was coming. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

We know, we know, it’s probably not a good idea to solely base someone’s employment status with the UFC on the existence of their UFC.com profile, but speculation is the hamster that keeps the wheels of intellectual transcendance and creative spontaneity spinning here at CagePotato. That, and a shitload of coke. For the hamster.

Aaaaanyway, word was passed along this morning that longtime heavyweight contender Cheick Kongo no longer has a fighter profile on UFC.com, which can only mean one thing in today’s UFC economy: BANISHMENT.

In all honesty, anyone who noticed how much money Kongo was making even in defeat probably could’ve seen this coming. His legendary come-from-behind KO over Pat Barry aside, Kongo has looked like a shell of himself ever since Frank Mir made good on his promise to change him as a fighter at UFC 107. Once a feared striker, the Frenchman seemed like a fish who had intentionally leaped out of water in his pair of grappling-heavy snoozer decisions over Matt Mitrione and Shawn Jordan, the latter of which we dubbed the worst fight of 2012. Kongo would find no relief in his once-adored striking game, either, suffering two first round knockout losses (to Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson at UFC 144 and 159, respectively) in his past three contests.

While it would be easy to take pot shots at a guy who has subtly threatened us with physical violence before, we are going to take the high road here. So join us after the jump for look back at some of Kongo’s greatest hits.

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.

And then there was the eye poke that ended up stopping the fight, awarding Michael Bisping the technical decision victory. It was a disappointing way to end an otherwise decent scrap – especially considering Belcher’s previous troubles with that eye. Fortunately, Belcher has since tweeted that he is doing okay.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.

Elsewhere on the card…

(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

(Above: “Grrrrrr.” / Below: “Haaaaaay!”)

After coming up short in his title challenge against Ben Henderson last month, UFC lightweight Nate Diaz will be returning to the Octagon at UFC on Fox 7: Henderson vs. Melendez (April 20th, San Jose), where he’ll face former Strikeforce champ Josh Thomson; CSNBayArea broke the news yesterday.

Thomson hasn’t competed in the UFC since his 2-1 stint for the promotion in 2003-2004, which ended in an unfortunate/incredible highlight-reel knockout against Yves Edwards. Since then, “The Punk” has spent most of his career fighting for Strikeforce, where he built an entertaining rivalry against Diaz’s training partner (and UFC on FOX 7 title challenger) Gilbert Melendez. Thomson briefly held Strikeforce’s lightweight title after winning a decision against Melendez in June 2008, and has picked up wins over Pat Healy, Gesias Cavalcante, and KJ Noons since then. His most recent appearance resulted in a split-decision loss to Melendez during their rubber-match last May.

Of course, the other thing Thomson is known for is his frequent injuries, and there’s a lot that can go wrong between now and 4/20. Let’s hope this one sticks together. In related news, the UFC has added three big matchups to their UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen card, which takes place the following weekend (April 27th) in Newark, NJ…

(“My favorite Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? Isn’t it obvious?”) 

You know, it really speaks volumes about what The Ultimate Fighter has become when the greatest display of MMA from the past season came during an event that featured next to none of the show’s participants. Add in the fact that the Ricci/Smith “finale” was the MMA equivalent of watching two illiterates play Scrabble (BRYNDEX is so a word!) and that should give you a good indication of the Tijuana back-alley abortion that TUF 16 truly was. Hell, 12 of the show’s 16 contestants have already been cut from the UFC’s roster and even the coaches couldn’t care less.

What does this all add up to? Mainly, a payout that is as abysmal as the show itself, save a few exceptions. Granted, the money almost seems fair considering the talent levels of the guys involved, but we’ll be damned if it isn’t semi-depressing to look at all the same. So check out the salaries along with our thoughts after the jump and let us know who you think got royally screwed.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

If you haven’t been keeping up with a television series, taking the time on a Saturday night to watch the series finale is a gigantic waste of time. Heading into the finale of a season that we could not have cared less about, the UFC realized that they were facing this exact problem. The promotion realized that if the finale was going to generate any kind of interest, it would have to actually place as little emphasis as possible on the fighters from the show. Rather than focusing on the contestants, the finale was a card packed with current UFC talent.

In an effort to ensure that this wouldn’t backfire, the promotion made sure that the guys filling in for whoever was actually on this season of The Ultimate Fighter were guys you’ve heard of. One great fight led to another great fight, and pretty soon we were anticipating one of the best free shows we’ve been given in a while. As we wrote yesterday, on paper, this card wasn’t so much a TUF Finale as it was a genuinely stacked lineup of free fights that included one main card match between two guys you’ve never seen before.

Even though injuries scrapped the fight between this season’s coaches (as is tradition), and Jamie Varner was forced off of the card at the last minute (more on that later), this event exceeded all of our expectations. Actually, that puts things too mildly: this may have been, top to bottom, the best event of 2012. Let that sink in: A TUF Finale produced a legitimate candidate for Event of the Year – when was the last time we’ve been able to say THAT?

(Mitrione refused to undergo VADA drug-testing. Nelson refused to shampoo the crabs out of his beard. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched a single episode of The Ultimate Fighter this season. (Spoiler alert: You haven’t). Tonight’s TUF 16 Finale on FX is still one of the greatest free cards of the year, partly because there aren’t any TUF also-rans mucking it up.

Instead, we’ve got two heavyweight slugfests (Roy Nelson vs. injury fill-in Matt Mitrione and Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario), a lightweight battle that will likely end up in a brutal stoppage (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner), a pair of featherweight contenders trying to bounce back from submission losses (Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins), and a TUF 16 welterweight final featuring a man so dehumanized by his time in captivity that at this point he’s nothing more than a vessel for unspeakable acts of violence.

Taking us through the play-by-play this evening is Level 8 Liveblog Wizard Anthony Gannon, who will be updating us with main card results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, please, please, leave us some comments in the comments section.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We know it’s confusing, so we’ll try to make this as clear as possible…

- The weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s TUF 16 Finale are scheduled for today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, and you can watch them live in the player above. We’ll be liveblogging the FX main card broadcast tomorrow night beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

- The weigh-ins for tonight‘s UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson card went down yesterday in Australia, and we’ll be liveblogging the main card tonight beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

- The TUF 16 Finale, which features Roy Nelson vs. Matt Mitrione, Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario, Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner, and Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins, is a pretty badass card. Honestly, if you only have time to watch one UFC event this weekend, make it this one — by which I mean tomorrow’s.

- Fun fact: Melvin Guillard plans on getting the lightweight title when he’s 35 or 40, so that he can retire shortly afterwards, rather than fade into obscurity like other guys who have fought for the title. It all makes sense now.

- We’ll be putting today’s weigh-in results after the jump. You’re welcome.

(“I’m sorry, you were saying something about The Ultimate Fighter picking guys with silly gimmicks over those with actual talent nowadays?”) 

Last weekend, the UFC dropped off one of the most stacked cards of the year in our lap for free. This weekend, not so much. Make no mistake, we will be treated to two, count ‘em two free fight cards this weekend, but both events will have to do a lot in the exciting finishes department to compensate for the lack of drawing power they posses, especially when compared to the bird-flipping, toothpick-chewing, f-bomb-dropping goodness that was UFC on FOX 5.

Kicking off the weekend’s action will be UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson, which kicks off live on FX via tape delay starting at 9 p.m. EST. Although it’s been dubbed a UFC on FX event, we might as well refer to it by what it truly is, the TUF: Smashes Finale, because in no other universe could you justify having two middle of the pack lightweights (or whatever Pearson is these days) coming off losses headline an FX card. The man in clown attire pictured above apparently made it all the way to the finals, which should either tell you that the UFC has completely given up on finding actual talent on TUF these days or that you should stop being so damn judgmental. Either way, I haven’t seen an episode of the show, which takes us to Saturday’s event…

Keeping with the tradition established in the last ten or so seasons of the American version of TUF, on Saturday we will be treated to a TUF Finale event that pits one of the show’s coaches against a complete outsider due to the other coach suffering an injury. There’s also the welterweight finals matchup between Colton Smith and Mike Ricci — two guys we’re sure you’re familiar with — so join us after the jump to get the inside scoop on the fights you might actually be interested in seeing this weekend.

(Yeah, Matt, we’re all pissed about the Giants last performance.) 

When we last heard from Matt Mitrione, he had placed himself in Dana White’s crosshairs by committing the #1 sin a UFC fighter can commit. No, not failing a drug test that eventually cancels the biggest fight of the year — that sort of thing can easily be forgiven. The man known by many as simply “Meathead” did something much, much worse: he refused to bail the UFC out by taking a fight against Daniel Cormier when Frank Mir got injured. THE AUDACITY.

Out of action since October of 2011 and coming off a hype-derailing performance against Cheick Kongo, Mitrione needed to step up for the UFC in one way or another ASAP, lest he find himself Attonito’d. The perfect opportunity arose when Shane Carwin became the sixth coach in the last eight TUF seasons to pull out of his scheduled fight due to injury. So bada boom bada bing, Mitrione will now be squaring off against fellow TUF 10 castmate Roy Nelson at the TUF 16 Finale in December.

(In a related story, Roy Nelson was recently diagnosed with advanced dickdo disease.)

Well, we saw this one coming a mile away. After suffering a “minor knee injury” back in September, Shane Carwin has now pulled out of his scheduled fight against Roy Nelson at the TUF 16 Finale on December 15th, due to a knee injury that may or may not be related to the last one. UFC president Dana White confirmed the bad news last night, and said that the promotion is looking for a new opponent for Nelson.

It’s a terrible setback for Carwin, who hasn’t competed snce June 2011 due to a series of neck and back surgeries, and was already forced to drop out of a fight with Nelson at UFC 125. Carwin hasn’t won a fight since his knockout of Frank Mir in March 2010, and at age 37, his competitive days are running out. There’s no word yet on the severity of Shane’s injury, or when he might return to action.

And by the way, this means that five of the last seven U.S. seasons of TUF — 10, 11, 13, 15, and now 16 — as well as one of the two international seasons (TUF Brazil), have ended with the coaches’ fight being canceled or delayed. Spooky. We’ll let you know when Roy Nelson picks up his replacement opponent. Our suggestion: How about Pat Barry, who’s already booked on the card against Shane Del Rosario?

And hey, speaking of UFC stars who have to pull out of fights next month due to knee injuries…

(“All natural, bro. No steroids. No testosterone. I’ve never hired a nutritionist. I’ve never bought hair conditioner. I ate my dog‘s food once, but it was an accident.” Photo via MMAWeekly)

Unlike some people we know, UFC heavyweights Shane Carwin and Roy Nelson are training without the help of performance-enhancing drugs. According to Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer (via MMAMania), Carwin and Nelson have both tested negative for steroids and diuretics, after being tapped for random testing last month.

Currently babysitting the worst Ultimate Fighter cast of all time, Carwin and Nelson are slated to face off at the surprisingly stacked TUF 16 Finale card on December 15th. Neither fighter has ever failed a drug test in their professional MMA career, though Carwin’s name was previously linked to an illegal steroids ring based in Mobile, Alabama. His manager, Jason Genet, recently gave a full explanation of how that happened, which seems reasonable enough, although that part about Carwin hanging out with Ron Waterman and ripping phone books in half is a little odd, to say the least.

(Not pictured: Fabricio Werdum and Junior Dos Santos, merrily sharing a caipirinha.)

All of Roy Nelson‘s rabble-rousing about drug-testing has paid off…sort of. While Big Country has been campaigning to have his upcoming fight against Shane Carwin overseen by the Voluntary Anti-Doping Agency (VADA), it was confirmed today that the Nevada State Athletic Commission has informed both fighters that they’ll be subject to random testing at some point before their December 15th meeting at the TUF 16 Finale. The fighters will need to provide samples within 24 hours of request, and the results will be returned in approximately two weeks.

(Serious question: The NSAC is completely within its rights to randomly drug test fighters out of competition, so why is it necessary to inform those fighters that that’s what it intends to do? I’m just saying, if you were Nelson or Carwin, and you were, hypothetically, using steroids up until yesterday, and the NSAC calls you and says they’re going to randomly test you sometime in the next two months, wouldn’t that be your signal to stop using PEDs immediately and hope they’re out of your system by the time they ask for your piss?)

If you’ve been keeping up on this story, you know that Carwin’s camp had been against VADA’s involvement from the beginning, with Shane’s manager Jason Genet calling VADA an “opportunistic” organization with an “anti-Shane” bias, and questioning why an independent testing body is any better than the athletic commission testing currently in place for MMA fighters. “I’m questioning where the relevancy coming from,” Genet said earlier this week. “As a manager, it’s not that I wouldn’t agree with outside testing. I want to know what’s wrong with what’s currently taking place.”

Meh.

Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of  Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.

If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.

Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.

As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.

(He’s just jolly. Who could begrudge him that outlook?)

Since tonight marks the premiere of TUF 16, coached by UFC heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, and featuring Uncle Dana on backup vocals, it seems like a good time to round up all the vitriol spewed at Nelson by Carwin and White, as well as preview all the drama to come. In recent interviews, both Shane and the Baldfather spoke about their distaste for Big Boy Roy.

Carwin is succinct in telling Bleacher Report, ”I hate [Nelson]. I dislike him. I hate him as a person. That’s just it.”

Apparently, Shane feels that Roy poses as a hardworking blue-collar guy, but instead spends most of his time complaining. “He always has an excuse for everything. He claims to be this average, normal guy and that’s who he tries to reach too, the blue-collar workers,” Carwin tells BR.

“Well, that’s me. That’s where I came from. I was the one working at 15 years old and working concrete in construction, working at meat packing plants, throwing boxes and things like that. He hasn’t had a job in his life. This is the only thing he has ever done. He’s the farthest thing from a blue-collar worker that he claims to be.”

While Carwin chastises Nelson for not doing enough chores around the family farm as a kid, White has his own reasons for criticizing the more rotund TUF coach:

If you asked a longtime UFC fan what he — or she! — thinks of The Ultimate Fighter, they would likely tell you that the series has gotten stale. (Damn, have we really been complaining about this for over three years now? Time flies when you’re bitching.) It’s not that we won’t tune in to watch up-and-coming fighters slug it out for a spot in the UFC — although that Friday night time-slot is still a pain in the ass — but all the “house drama” officially got old around the Junie Browning era, and highlighting the contestants’ dumb frat-boy behavior makes the sport look worse.

So it’s unfortunate when you watch this new teaser for “Ultimate Fighter Fridays” (known to regular folk as TUF 16), and you realize that the show is actually doubling down on the stupid. Let’s run through the checklist…

- A dude getting up in another dude’s face in the kitchen. (check)

- A prank involving flour. (check)

- A prank involving a bed being moved outdoors. (check)

- An idiotic piece of trash-talk, made worse due to silly delivery. (“You got more stories than Dr. Seuss, ho-mee.” –> check)

Our friends at With Leather just put together an incredible/awful collection of cheesy WWF promo photos from the late ’80s and early ’90s, and as we were browsing through some of these gems while drinking our coffee this morning, we couldn’t escape the eerie feeling that we’ve seen these faces elsewhere. The same snarling mugs, the same wacky personas — it’s obvious that some of our favorite MMA fighters owe a debt to these guys. So follow us back to pro wrestling‘s golden age, and allow us to make some startling comparisons.

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart was the original…
Hillbilly Jim was the original…
Legion of Doom were the original…
Junk Yard Dog was the original…
Ultimate Warrior was the original…
The Honky Tonk Man was the original…
Tatanka was the original…
Big Boss Man was the original…
George “The Animal” Steele was the original…

(This is your promo, for real? It’s like the UFC gives even less of a fuck than we do at this point.)

FX has released the list of 32 welterweights who will be competing on the 16th season of The Ultimate Fighter, which debuts on Friday, September 14th, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. You can check out the names after the jump, though not a lot of these guys jump out, besides Bristol Marunde, who lost to Jacare Souza in Strikeforce earlier this year. On the other hand, we do have at least one terrible nickname, and one terrible actual name.

The premiere of “Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson” will be a two-hour elimination episode, in which the 32 TUF hopefuls are immediately cut down to 16, who will then be divvy’d up by coaches Shane Carwin and Roy Nelson (a former TUF winner himself). From the press release: “Carwin and Nelson are two guys who just can’t stand each other and Roy and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye either — he’s been a nightmare for me to work with on this show with all his stupid BS,” said UFC president Dana White. Oh God, Dana. Please tell me you didn’t eat the special sushi.

Carwin and Nelson will fight each other at the show’s live finale on Saturday, December 15th, on FX.

(“Nothing comes between me and my Baconator. Nothing.”)

By Jason Moles

In the ever-competitive world of professional mixed martial arts, the men and women are fighting for more than just the fans and their next paycheck; they’re fighting for survival. When you barely have enough money left for yourself after paying your training partners, coaches, and buying nutritional supplements, it’s time to find another source of income. Most do this in the way of sponsorships — you know, like the Nike deal Jon Jones recently signed, or Anderson Silva’s relationship with Burger King. And if more of these well-known mainstream companies would sponsor a few fighters, the smaller companies that currently sponsor fighters could move to guys and gals who are still making their way up the ranks without anyone losing out. Let’s look at the companies that best suit MMA, how they should be involved, and why it makes sense.

Company: Old Spice
Ideal fighter to sponsor: Cheick Kongo, Alistair Overeem

Why it makes sense: Standing 6′ 4″ and weighing 230 pounds, and 6′ 5″/263, respectively, the Frenchman and the Dutchman are the most physically imposing fighters in the UFC’s heavyweight division. Old Spice is known for their funny commercials targeting the same audience watching PPV’s on a Saturday night. In the past, Old Spice has used NFL players Brian Urlacher and Ray Lewis as spokesman for their ‘Swagger’ line of men’s body products, as well as jacked Expendables cast-member Terry Crews. And if those guys can do it, why not Kongo and Overeem? In particular, “The Demolition Man” is the type of guy you want your customers to think they’ll be more like by using your product. Alistair could even make his commercial debut by eating the horse the original Old Spice Guy rode in on.

(Oh, you said you have a *flaggy* tattoo? I must have misheard you.) 

By Nathan Smith

During a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal, Dana White said, “Globally, we’re already bigger than the NFL.” From a global stand point that may be true, but in the Pulp Fiction-esque United States, the NFL is still Marsellus Wallace. The UFC may never gain the notoriety that the NFL has in America but stand-out fighters continue to ink major product endorsement deals. Anderson Silva (Burger King, Budweiser), Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade, UnderArmor) and Jon Jones (Nike) are paving the way to success for future mixed martial artists. Although big-time corporate sponsorship for fighters is in its infancy, the other major professional sports leagues have seen their athletes gain almost as much notoriety outside the lines as within.

The UFC was purchased by Zuffa just over a decade ago and has been charging towards global domination ever since. Sure, the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL (well, maybe not the NHL) playoffs and championship contests annihilate the UFC ratings-wise but the premier MMA organization is gaining at a rapid pace. Take into account the combined several hundred years of history the 4 “major” professional leagues hold and it is glaringly apparent that the UFC and its stars are closing the gap like a fat dude towards a parked Roach Coach.

Comparing the UFC’s ratings and popularity with the aforementioned leagues is somewhat asinine and it would not be fair or rational to compare athletes from other sports with UFC fighters – but you have visited Cagepotato.com. We have never been accused of being fair or rational and matching fighters with their counterparts from around the world of other sporting organizations seemed as logical as a booze-filled headset.

Anderson Silva and Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan has become the benchmark to which all athletes are measured, although the comparisons have transcended far beyond the realm of athletics. Any activity or event draws comparisons to #23 (or #45 whatever). From Ken Jennings being the Michael Jordan of Jeopardy, to Joey Chestnut being the Michael Jordan of gluttony or Peter North being the Michael Jordan of male climax volume, Jordan is synonymous with superiority. In every single poll taken in the last decade regarding the “Top 100 NBA players in History” the battle is for #2 through #100. Michael Jordan is considered the greatest of all time in his medium (and I am not talking about minor league baseball).  Anderson Silva, with his perfect 15-0 record and 10 consecutive title defenses in the UFC, has done things that may never be accomplished again in the history of mixed martial arts. Some day a fighter may come along (if he hasn’t already *foreshadowing*) and surpass Silva’s records but until his numbers fall, Anderson Silva is the Michael Jordan of MMA – period.

(Dana White only has three looks: The “Life is Good”, The “Bouncer”, and the “Fuck You and the Horse You Crushed With Your Obesity”, displayed here.) 

If there of any of you left who haven’t grown tired of the, for lack of a better word, tiresome formula that The Ultimate Fighter has devolved into over the years, which is to say, fighters argue–>training montage–>coaches argue–>fighters argue–>actual fight, then boy do we have good news for you. Not only are you going to be treated to the verbal back-and-forth of one Roy Nelson and one Shane Carwin throughout the season, you are more than likely going to see “Big Country” and UFC President Dana White at each others throats as well, as both men have basically been taking a fat steaming dump on the others chests via various MMA media outlets lately. Metaphorically, of course.

TUF 16, which is set to debut on September 14th on FX (yep, that’s a Friday), will showcase 32 welterweights attempting to battle their way to the next interim championship of the world, but it seems the real firefight will be between Nelson and White, who just can’t seem to get along on anything. Take for instance, the TUF 10 winner’s recent interview with MMAJunkie, where he basically calls Dana a lying wannabe fighter:

[The onset tension is] probably because he wants to be a fighter, and he’s not. I think we were talking about coaching or something like that, and [White's] not a coach. There’s an understanding of being a fighter, and I don’t think he understands. 

I’m always at the back of the bus when it comes to the UFC. I’m just trying to further MMA to the next level, hold journalism up to higher standards, holding fights to higher standards, holding promotions to higher standards, holding athletic commissions to higher standards, and even holding the fans to higher standards. 

You never know with Dana. Dana will tell you guys one thing, and then five minutes later tell you another. Last week, ‘Shogun’ and Brandon Vera were fighting for the title, and now all of the sudden, Machida and Ryan Bader are, too. Next thing you know, he’s going to say Randy Couture gets the next title shot when he comes back.

“You think that’s funny? This motherfucker on my left THINKS HE’S A WELTERWEIGHT!”

Finding someone who still gets excited about The Ultimate Fighter is a lot like watching a guy wearing a gi or a Luchador mask in a cage fight: It’s a throwback to the days when our sport was arguably more pure and definitely more innocent. It’s oddly refreshing, incredibly confusing and somewhat disturbing, all at the same time. It’s the type of encounter that you’ll look back on a few months from now and say something like “Remember when we went to that event in the middle of nowhere and they let a guy compete wearing a Psicosis mask?” (Come on, stranger things have happened) or “Remember that night at The Korova when we met that guy who was all about TUF Live?”

That being said, TUF 16 actually looks like it has some promise. At the very least, head coaches Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin should provide some entertaining antics and some original trash talk. The fact that the two were originally set to fight each other at UFC 125 is a nice touch, too. And earlier today, Shane Carwin told MMAJunkie.com that UFC Heavyweight and one of MMA’s most recognizable personalities Pat Barry will be a part of his TUF 16 coaching staff.

If anything else, Carwin and company should be able to revolutionize the TUF coaches ribbing, which, let’s face it, has become pretty stale, predictable and disturbing throughout the history of the show. Looking over the rest of his coaching staff, his fighters will have one hell of a coaching staff to learn from. They’re listed for you after the jump.

(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

(For his final masterpiece, Michelangelo decided to pay tribute to the Biblical hero’s fall from grace through the medium of hamstone. The results were shocking, yet delicious.)

As is likely the case for most of you, we here at CagePotato are more than willing to admit that we all but completely missed out on the failed experiment that was TUF Live. The placement of the show on Friday nights, the rehashed trash-talk and pranks between coaches; it just seemed all too played out and tired to really get us hooked. The fact that Dominick Cruz tore his ACL with only a couple episodes to go only furthered our belief that the season would have been a complete loss if not for the uplifting story of the season’s lightweight winner, Don Cheadle (or something like that).

So when Dana White informed USA TODAY Sports yesterday that the coaches for this season would be polar opposite heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, it more than piqued our interest. Aside from being the winner of the show’s tenth (and arguably least talent filled) season, TUF: Heavyweights, Nelson is by all accounts, one entertaining and funny sumbitch. Carwin, on the other hand, has shown before that he is up for a good joshing as long as it is not aimed at him. If you recall, the last time we got on Carwin’s bad side, Old Dad packed up his things, fled, faked his death, died his eyebrows, and attended his own funeral as a man named Phil Schiffley. The last we heard, he was still reporting on all things MMA from a one man vessel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean out of fear that “The Engineer” was still looking for him. So clearly, the potential for hilarity between these two on the set is higher than Nelson’s cholesterol levels.