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Tag: Roy Nelson

The 15 Derpiest Looking Characters From EA Sports UFC

(Ah, the good ol’ days.)

By Ryan Harkness

EA has finally pulled back the curtain on its much anticipated UFC video game, and while the extra horsepower from next-gen consoles has the sport looking better than ever, it is also ratcheting up the phenomenon known as the Uncanny Valley.

The hypothesis goes that the more realistic a human recreation gets, the more small imperfections begin to stick out in our minds, screaming at us that something is very, very wrong. A useful evolutionary trait if you happen to be trapped in the Antarctic with John Carpenter’s The Thing. Not so useful when trying to play EA Sports UFC without getting the heebie jeebies.

That being said, I don’t want to imply that the game suffers from Polar Express levels of uncanny valley. Most of the modeling looks freaking great. Video game Chuck Liddell looks exactly like real-life Chuck Liddell and not some Iceman furry from the seventh circle of Hell. Conor McGregor is perfectly recreated right down to the King’s Crisps crumbs in his beard. And the actual gameplay videos look pretty damn smooth too.

But capturing the exact essence of over 100 people is tricky work and there are still some fighters with just enough je-ne-saix-quoi to cause many to recoil in horror. Let’s take a look through through some of the best worst examples to find out who ended up the pound-for-pound derpiest character in the game…

Georges St Pierre was so busy being a hotshot action star that the EA people had to scan the wax GSP statue from Madame Tussauds. And then just like in Jurassic Park, they added some Frank Trigg DNA to fill in the gaps and bada bing bada boom! L’essence du Georges!


Friday Link Dump: UFC Targeting Hunt vs. Nelson, Ronda Rousey Talks Bethe Correia, Superior Death Penalty Alternatives + More

(Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas in its entirety, because this is my link dump and I’ll do as I please. -Danga)

Ronda Rousey: Bethe Correia “Could be a Very Interesting Fight for Me” (MMAJunkie)

Mirko Cro Cop Saves Dog Shot by Hitman (TheUG)

UFC targeting Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson in Saitama, Japan (BloodyElbow)

Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Jimmo Slated For UFC 174 (MMAFighting)

Mayweather vs. Maidana: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather Jr. guaranteed $31.5 million purse for ‘The Moment’ (MMAMania)

The Beaten Path: Aaron Pico Is the Future King of Fighting (Bleacher Report)

5 Delicious Cinco de Mayo Recipes So Easy, Even YOU Can Do Them…(PopHangover)

The Most Entertaining and Successful Coaches in College Sports (EveryJoe)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Five Death Penalty Alternatives That Are Vastly Superior to Lethal Injection (HolyTaco)

The 29 Best Autocorrects Of April 2014! (DamnYouAutocorrect)

The Definitive Ranking Of Spider-Man Movies, From Best To Worst (FilmDrunk)

The 50 Most Bizarre Prom Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)


Dear God, No: Big Nog Eyeing Another Fight After He Returns From ACL Surgery

(Ugh, post-knockout leg lifts are just the *worst*. Photo via Getty.)

There wasn’t an MMA fan among us who enjoyed watching Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira get pancaked by Roy Nelson at Fight Night 39. The ugly loss accounted for Minotauro’s second in as many contests and 5th in his past 8 overall. Even more unsettling is the fact that in those 5 defeats, the formerly unfinishable heavyweight has suffered two broken arms and at least three concussions, not to mention the litany of injuries he’s gone down with in between those fights.

In short, it would appear that Big Nog’s body is trying to tell him something. Unfortunately for his arms, legs, torso, and jaw, his mind has apparently yet to receive the message. It was revealed over the weekend by Nogueira himself that the former PRIDE champion had tore his ACL just days prior to his contest with Nelson, which might have explained why he looked as if he was fighting underwater in the minutes leading up to his brutal loss:

I just got my exams, and I unfortunately tore my ACL. Three days before the fight, I was training wrestling and I twisted my right knee working on a single leg. I stopped training, and I felt it during the fight. I did the exams as soon as I returned to Brazil, and I found out this morning that I hurt the ACL and LCL.

I’m going to need surgery. I had the same surgery on the left knee three years ago, and now it’s on the right knee.

So basically, Nogueira’s body is a ticking time bomb. But rest assured, he still wants another fight…


Roy Nelson Knocks Out Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira at UFC Fight Night: Abu Dhabi [VIDEO]


Ugly. That’s the best word to describe what just went down at UFC Fight Night 39: Nogueira vs. Nelson in Abu Dhabi, where Roy Nelson uncorked one of his famous haymakers and sent Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira to the mat in a stiff heap. You can check out the finishing blow above, or check out Zombie Prophet’s GIF for a different angle.

And so, Big Country snaps a two-fight losing streak, and claims his seventh knockout victory in the UFC. Meanwhile, Nogueira has lost four out of his last six fights, and public calls for his retirement will surely pop again. (We’d support that, by the way.)

Check out full results from UFC Fight Night Abu Dhabi after the jump. If you watched the event on Fight Pass, please share your thoughts in the comments section.


‘UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Nelson’ Weigh-In Results — All Fighters on Weight, Andrew Craig Pulled Due to Tonsillitis

(LMFAO…I still can’t believe this poster is a real thing.)

All fighters competing on tomorrow afternoon’s UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Nelson Fight Pass card in Abu Dhabi weighed-in today without incident — although one matchup was scrapped just hours before the weigh-ins. Due to a sudden bout of tonsillitis, middleweight Andrew Craig was forced to withdraw from his bout against Chris Camozzi, which is a bummer because Camozzi was fighting for a great cause.

The removal of Craig vs. Camozzi means that the Abu Dhabi card will only feature eight matches, making it the briefest UFC card since…well look, I’m not going to burn 15 minutes on Wikipedia trying to find the answer to that, but it’s been a while.

In a semi-related story, the monthly cost of Fight Pass was suddenly jacked up from 10 euros to 16 euros ($22.20) for Polish subscribers. But hey, you guys were warned, right? Weigh-in results for Nogueira vs. Nelson are after the jump…


25 MMA Reaction GIFs for All Occasions

(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:


Roy Nelson vs. Big Nog Official for UFC’s Return to Abu Dhabi on April 11th

(Nelson, seen here donning the most elaborate Big Nog Halloween costume of all time. Photo via Nelson’s twitter.)

It’s official: Roy Nelson and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira will do battle when the UFC returns to Abu Dhabi on April 11th as previously speculated. Unfortunately, this card will only air on Fight Pass.

You can stop reading this article right now. No one would blame you. But if you’d like to know a little more about the UFC’s deal with Flash Entertainment, join us after the jump.


Big Country vs. Big Nog Being Considered for UFC’s Return to Abu Dhabi in May

(Looks like that horse skipped leg day. Photo via Nelson’s twitter.)

On the heels of back-to-back losses to Stipe Miocic and Daniel Cormier, Roy “Big Country” Nelson is in need of a big win if he ever wants to be viewed in a more positive light than “a fucking idiot who couldn’t get a job at Kinkos” by his current employer. Just kidding, Dana White will hate Nelson regardless of how he performs in the octagon. In any case, it looks like Nelson’s bid to become the next executive director of the Nevada State Athletic Commission was about as successful as Mary Carey’s bid to become governor of California, as his next fight is already being lined up.

During last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, Ariel Helwani hinted that a bout between “Big Country” and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (a.k.a “Big Nog”) is being targeted for the UFC’s return to Abu Dhabi in May. Here’s how I know this:

It takes a keen investigative eye to be an MMA journalist, it does.


UFC 166 Highlight Videos: Velasquez Dominates Dos Santos, Nelson Pays the Troll Toll + The FOTY Frontrunner

(Velasquez vs. Dos Santos highlights, via the FOX Sports Youtube page.) 

To put it bluntly, UFC 166 was the kind of faith-restoring UFC event that effectively silenced even the most cynical of the sport’s detractors (henceforth known as “garbage-assers“). Featuring a trio of wars and a pair of brutal first round finishes on the main card alone, UFC 166 staked its claim as an early frontrunner for “Event of the Year” at this year’s Potato Awards and will likely achieve the same notoriety at awards ceremonies that actually transpire.

In the evening’s main event, Cain “El Emperador Finale” Velasquez selfishly opted to ruin the heavyweight division for the foreseeable future with a dominant fifth round TKO of former rival Junior Dos Santos. Elsewhere on the card, Roy Nelson was routed by another top 5 competitor in Daniel Cormier, Gilbert Melendez attempted to punch the crazy out of Diego Sanchez to little avail, and Gabriel Gonzaga reaffirmed that a man with a pedostache is not to be toyed with. Twas a momentous night, indeed.

Thankfully, FOX Sports has compiled some highlight videos of the evening’s greatest slugfests and made them available for viewing on their Youtube page. Although these snippets won’t fill the bottomless void created in the soul of, say, your friend Dave who insisted on skipping UFC 166 to attend a Lady Gaga concert with his bitch of a girlfriend, they will give you the chance to confirm that Dave is a tiny, tin-eared man who lacks intestinal fortitude and any semblance of deductive reasoning. Fucking Dave.

We’ve placed the highlight video for Velasquez/Dos Santos III above, but join us after the jump to relive the rest of what was truly a historic night for both the UFC and MMA in general.


UFC 166 Aftermath: The Latest Emperor

(Cain Velasquez admires his violence on the big screen. / Photo via Getty)

Suddenly, the rivalry between heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos seems a little less competitive than was hoped for. Many observers were treating this fight as merely the latest engagement in a battle for the heavyweight crown that was to last for years ahead. Less a conclusion to a trilogy and more a precursor to a tetralogy or beyond, it was expected that this fight would see a more competitive affair showcasing the strengths of both men. That didn’t happen. Velasquez absolutely dominated Dos Santos, flooring him in the third before finishing him (sort of) in the fifth. It’s clear now that Cain Velasquez is the unstoppable force. Despite his unquestioned stature as the second best heavyweight in the UFC, Junior Dos Santos is not the immovable object.

Pace and pressure are amorphous terms reliant on context; it’s more difficult to conceive of these finishing a fight than something we can easily discern like a punch or kick. Yet it was the relentless forward motion and unending attack of Velasquez that led to the finish last night and the dominance that preceded it. Dos Santos had his moments; he landed a number of hard shots to open the first round, and landed a nice elbow against the cage to end the second. But other than that, it was all Cain. He didn’t dominate from bell to bell like he did in the second fight, but he wore down Dos Santos over the course of the first two rounds before capitalizing in the third. Velasquez floored Dos Santos with a counter overhand right, and almost finished the fight there; Herb Dean put his hand on Velasquez’ shoulder at one point, but reconsidered.

Things didn’t improve for Dos Santos afterwards, and in the fifth round he went for a desperation front choke. As Cain attempted successfully to escape, Dos Santos rolled, crashing his forehead on the mat. Either disoriented or utterly exhausted, Dos Santos could not continue and Velasquez secured the latest stoppage victory in UFC history. At the undisputed pinnacle of his weight class – the first heavyweight to truly claim this distinction since Fedor Emelianenko – it’s hard to imagine anyone toppling Velasquez soon. Daniel Cormier, who fought earlier in the evening, is his wrestling coach and is moving down to 205. Fabricio Werdum, his presumptive opponent, can submit anyone but will unlikely be able to take the fight to the ground against a wrestler of Cain’s caliber. A future rematch with Dos Santos is not inconceivable, but a different result is at this point. Despite his heart, his chin and his skills, it seems that Dos Santos is not destined to be the foil to Velasquez that we hoped he would be; Velasquez is the heavyweight division’s emperor.

Speaking of Daniel Cormier…