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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Ryan Bader

1-2-3-4, I Declare a Caption Contest

Ryan Bader CB Dollaway Giann Lynn UFC MMA porn
(Props: "BONEtheDOME" on the UG.)

Do we have a cool prize to give away today? Not really, other than some bullshit t-shirts. But this photo of CB Dollaway and Ryan Bader pretending to fight over adult film actress Gianna Lynn at the last AVN Awards show amuses me. Best three captions win a shirt. Winners will be announced early next week-ish. Here, I’ll start:

"They lived their lives by a code: Bro’s before ho’s. Until she came along and turned their worlds upside-down."

Or, this:

"I don’t do double-anal. Dollaway, where did you find this chick anyway?"

Good luck.

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UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann — Videos + Bonuses


(Carlos Condit vs. Martin Kampmann)

Last night’s "Condit vs. Kampmann" card brought in a live gate of $626,077, thanks to its 10,267 spectators — which made it the most well-attended Fight Night show in UFC history. $120,000 was re-distributed to the fighters in the form of $30,000 end-of-night bonuses. Taking home the extra cash were…

Fight of the Night: Tyson Griffin and Rafael Dos Anjos, as mentioned earlier. Don’t ask us why their sloppy slugfest got the nod over the technical back-and-forth battle of the main event.

Knockout of the Night: Aaron Simpson’s first-round stoppage of Tim McKenzie in the night’s opening bout turned out to be the only TKO on the card, so he scored the bonus by default.

Submission of the Night: Rob Kimmons earned the bump with his first-round guillotine choke victory over Joe Vedepo, which put Vedepo to sleep for the second time in his short UFC career. It was nice knowing you, buddy.

More videos from the main card after the jump…

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UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann — Blow by Blow


(Being around all these skinny guys just made Dana want to gorge on buffalo wings even more. Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.)

One of the many advantages of living on the East Coast is that these UFC Fight Night thingies are actually broadcast live for us. That may not be the case for some of you in the "flyover states," so check your local listings and maybe come back later if you want to avoid all spoilers. When you’re ready, hit that "Read More" link and refresh the page every few minutes for live updates from the Sommet Center in Nashville. Are you ready to see some local refs ruin some fights? Then let’s DO this!

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC Fight Night 18


(You didn’t think Martin Kampmann’s eyebrows always looked so perfect by accident, did you?)

When last we left the Gambling Addiction Enabler, a mathematical error had left him mistakenly believing that he suffered a net loss at UFC 96 rather than a gain of $30.  So now that he’s realized his error, you might be wondering, does that mean he has an extra thirty bones to throw around at UFC Fight Night 18?  Sadly, no.  That event was several weeks ago, so he’s already spent the money on a bunch of Snoop Dogg posters from Hot Topic.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that his home office now looks straight-up gangsta.

But tomorrow night is a brand new opportunity to turn MMA knowledge and a taste for reckless financial risk into cold hard cash.  Here are the best lines on the internet, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Carlos Condit (+102) vs. Martin Kampmann (-110)
Ryan Bader (-400) vs. Carmelo Marrero (+360)
Tyson Griffin (-385) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+355)
Junie Browning (+120) vs. Cole Miller (-125)
Gleison Tibau (-145) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+145)
Ricardo Almeida (-275) vs. Matt Horwich (+245)
Brock Larson (-450) vs. Jesse Sanders (+400)
Tim Credeur (-117) vs. Nick Catone (+110)
Jorge Rivera (-135) vs. Nissen Osterneck (+140)
Rob Kimmons (-255) vs. Joe Vedepo (+230)
Tim McKenzie (+145) vs. Aaron Simpson (-167)
Steve Steinbeiss (+165) vs. Ryan Jensen (-195)

Thoughts…

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Exclusive: Ryan Bader Talks Post-TUF Debut, Being a Wrestler in the UFC, and Junie Browning’s Curious Path to Stardom

On April 1 Ryan Bader makes his first UFC appearance since knocking out Vinny Magalhaes to win the last season of “The Ultimate Fighter.”  The former Arizona State wrestling standout now has to live up to his billing with a victory in his first post-TUF bout against experienced vet Carmelo Marrero.  But as Bader told us in our exclusive talk with him, he’s aware that winning is necessary, though it isn’t enough by itself.  He also has to entertain, and therein lies a difficult conflict for a wrestler trying to dazzle knockout-happy crowds.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with us, Ryan.  Now that you’re the TUF winner and getting ready to start your UFC career, is it how you though it would be when you first started on the show?

I went into the show and set high goals for myself.  My goal was to make it to the finale.  That was as far as I thought.  Then I did that and there was six months until the finale, and obviously my goal was to win the whole show.  But I set little goals for myself and accomplished them one at a time, and then set bigger goals.  After I won the show, my goal became to keep winning the fights in front of me, and that’s where I am now.  Eventually my goal is to have the belt.  I don’t want to be just another fighter.  I want that belt.  I know it’s going to take a long time.  I need to grow as a fighter and that’s all a long way off, so my immediate goal is to win each fight and chip away at the division.

I read recently where you said you thought too many wrestlers were taking unnecessary risks to win fights in exciting fashion.  When you fight, do you struggle with trying to be exciting and also not taking too many chances?

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‘TUF 8′ Standouts Showcased on UFC Fight Night 18 Card

UFC MMA Carlos Condit Martin Kampmann

The UFC has released the finalized lineup and bout order for UFC Fight Night 18, which will go down April 1st at the Sommet Center in Nashville. Leading up to the main event between the WEC’s final welterweight champion Carlos Condit (who has won his last eight fights) and Martin Kampmann (who is 5-1 in the UFC) will be three televised bouts featuring alumni from The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir — all of whom are undefeated in their professional careers.

Lightweight winner Efrain Escudero (11-0) will take on the heavy-handed Jeremy Stephens (14-4), who’s coming off a submission loss to Joe Lauzon at Fight Night 17 earlier this month. The infamous Junie Browning (3-0) will get a big step up in competition when he faces ATT submission specialist and TUF 5 alum Cole Miller (14-3). And in the light-heavyweight division, TUF 8′s 205-pound winner Ryan Bader (8-0) will welcome Carmelo Marrero (10-2) back to the Octagon. The official lineup is below:

MAIN CARD
Carlos Condit vs. Martin Kampmann (WW)
Efrain Escudero vs. Jeremy Stephens (LW)
Ryan Bader vs. Carmelo Marrero (LHW)
Junie Browning vs. Cole Miller (LW)

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Bader Draws Former UFC Heavyweight for First Post-TUF Appearance

Carmelo Marrero UFC MMA
(Carmelo Marrero winds up to club Rafael Real at a WCO event in November 2007. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

FiveOuncesofPain is reporting that TUF 8 light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader — who defeated Vinny Magalhaes last month to win the show’s six-figure contract — will be returning to action at UFC Fight Night 18 (April 1st, Nashville). His opponent will be Carmelo Marrero (10-2), an American Top Team fighter who went 1-2 in the UFC in 2006-2007. Marrero made his Octagon debut as a heavyweight at UFC 64, where he scored an upset split-decision over Cheick Kongo. Unfortunately, he then took a first-round loss via armbar to Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 66, and was then choked out by Wilson Gouveia at UFC 71 after dropping to light-heavyweight; Marrero was released by the UFC shortly after. Since then, "The Fury" has gone 4-0 with one no-contest, most recently winning a split decision over Steve Steinbless at WEC 36 in November — and earning a return trip back to the UFC.

In other UFC news…

— A little higher up the light-heavyweight ladder, Matt Hamill (5-2) will reportedly be welcoming WEC vet Mark Munoz (5-0) to the Octagon at UFC 96 (March 7th, Columbus). A former NCAA wrestling champion at Oklahoma State and current protege of Urijah Faber, Munoz scored first-round TKO victories in his last two fights, against Ricardo Barros at WEC 37 last month and Chuck Grigsby at WEC 34 in June. Hamill most recently defeated Reese Andy by second-round TKO at last month’s UFC 92.

Randy Couture will most likely face Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in his next fight, but not until the second half of this year. Couture had to undergo surgery recently to remove a pair of abnormally large bone spurs from his elbow, which means he’ll be out rehabbing for a while.

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Bader, Burns Face Lengthy Medical Suspensions After TUF 8 Finale

Ryan Bader UFC MMA The Ultimate Fighter TUF 8
(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

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The Potato Index: The Week That Was


(‘Now we go for ice cream!’  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

It was an MMA-tastic week what with the “Fight for the Troops” and the Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale both within a few days of one another, plus a little Adrenaline thrown in the mix.  And while the big boys mostly sat this one out and let the young up-and-comers vie for the spotlight, there were still plenty of gains and losses made.  Now it’s time to sort through the wreckage and see who’s up and who’s down with our arbitrary numerical rating system.

Josh Koscheck +87

Even after putting a hurting on Yoshida, the future is uncertain for Kos.  Is he the best welterweight no one really wants to see all that badly?  

Ryan Bader +102

Wrestler-turned-TUF winner proves he’s got more than just takedowns in his arsenal, going upside Vinny’s head with a big right hand.  Satisfying ending, but let’s see what he can do against a real UFC fighter before we get too excited.

Vinny Magalhaes -48

Trying to prove you can do something other than the thing you do really, really well is admirable, though not all that bright.

Phillipe Nover -19

For a guy who does so many things well, there sure is a huge hole in his game.  I’d get that fixed if I was you.

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Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale Payouts and Bonuses


(Shhh…go to sleep.  Gif thanks to Smoogy on the UG.)

Dave Kaplan is officially the luckiest son of a bitch on last night’s Ultimate Finale card.  For getting his ass handed to him by Junie Browning in the evening’s first televised bout he received a $25,000 bonus for “Fight of the Night,” as did Browning. 

Not that it was a bad fight by any means, but neither was it exhilarating or even all that competitive, unless Dana White is really that impressed by a guy willing to keep trying the same straight foot lock that only works on BJJ blue belts and Tim Sylvia.  If you ask me (and you kind of did, by virtue of coming to this website and reading this far, sucker), White wanted to reward Browning for showing up and appearing to have his shit together, and Kaplan’s pockets got fatter just by being in the way.  As long as the check clears, “Diamond” Dave can’t complain.

The Knockout of the Night bonus obviously went to Anthony “Rumble” Johnson for putting his shin across Kevin Burns’ jaw and reminding us all that sleep truly is the cousin of death.

Krzysztof Soszynski (K-Sos to the Potato Nation) pocketed 25 grand for Submission of the Night after wrenching Shane Primm’s shoulder all out of shape.

Full disclosed payouts and analysis of said payouts from last night’s event are after the jump.  Won’t you join us?

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