(You didn’t think Martin Kampmann’s eyebrows always looked so perfect by accident, did you?)

When last we left the Gambling Addiction Enabler, a mathematical error had left him mistakenly believing that he suffered a net loss at UFC 96 rather than a gain of $30.  So now that he’s realized his error, you might be wondering, does that mean he has an extra thirty bones to throw around at UFC Fight Night 18?  Sadly, no.  That event was several weeks ago, so he’s already spent the money on a bunch of Snoop Dogg posters from Hot Topic.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that his home office now looks straight-up gangsta.

But tomorrow night is a brand new opportunity to turn MMA knowledge and a taste for reckless financial risk into cold hard cash.  Here are the best lines on the internet, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Carlos Condit (+102) vs. Martin Kampmann (-110)
Ryan Bader (-400) vs. Carmelo Marrero (+360)
Tyson Griffin (-385) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+355)
Junie Browning (+120) vs. Cole Miller (-125)
Gleison Tibau (-145) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+145)
Ricardo Almeida (-275) vs. Matt Horwich (+245)
Brock Larson (-450) vs. Jesse Sanders (+400)
Tim Credeur (-117) vs. Nick Catone (+110)
Jorge Rivera (-135) vs. Nissen Osterneck (+140)
Rob Kimmons (-255) vs. Joe Vedepo (+230)
Tim McKenzie (+145) vs. Aaron Simpson (-167)
Steve Steinbeiss (+165) vs. Ryan Jensen (-195)

Thoughts…

On April 1 Ryan Bader makes his first UFC appearance since knocking out Vinny Magalhaes to win the last season of “The Ultimate Fighter.”  The former Arizona State wrestling standout now has to live up to his billing with a victory in his first post-TUF bout against experienced vet Carmelo Marrero.  But as Bader told us in our exclusive talk with him, he’s aware that winning is necessary, though it isn’t enough by itself.  He also has to entertain, and therein lies a difficult conflict for a wrestler trying to dazzle knockout-happy crowds.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with us, Ryan.  Now that you’re the TUF winner and getting ready to start your UFC career, is it how you though it would be when you first started on the show?

I went into the show and set high goals for myself.  My goal was to make it to the finale.  That was as far as I thought.  Then I did that and there was six months until the finale, and obviously my goal was to win the whole show.  But I set little goals for myself and accomplished them one at a time, and then set bigger goals.  After I won the show, my goal became to keep winning the fights in front of me, and that’s where I am now.  Eventually my goal is to have the belt.  I don’t want to be just another fighter.  I want that belt.  I know it’s going to take a long time.  I need to grow as a fighter and that’s all a long way off, so my immediate goal is to win each fight and chip away at the division.

I read recently where you said you thought too many wrestlers were taking unnecessary risks to win fights in exciting fashion.  When you fight, do you struggle with trying to be exciting and also not taking too many chances?

The UFC has released the finalized lineup and bout order for UFC Fight Night 18, which will go down April 1st at the Sommet Center in Nashville. Leading up to the main event between the WEC’s final welterweight champion Carlos Condit (who has won his last eight fights) and Martin Kampmann (who is 5-1 in the UFC) will be three televised bouts featuring alumni from The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir — all of whom are undefeated in their professional careers.

Lightweight winner Efrain Escudero (11-0) will take on the heavy-handed Jeremy Stephens (14-4), who’s coming off a submission loss to Joe Lauzon at Fight Night 17 earlier this month. The infamous Junie Browning (3-0) will get a big step up in competition when he faces ATT submission specialist and TUF 5 alum Cole Miller (14-3). And in the light-heavyweight division, TUF 8′s 205-pound winner Ryan Bader (8-0) will welcome Carmelo Marrero (10-2) back to the Octagon. The official lineup is below:

MAIN CARD
Carlos Condit vs. Martin Kampmann (WW)
Efrain Escudero vs. Jeremy Stephens (LW)
Ryan Bader vs. Carmelo Marrero (LHW)
Junie Browning vs. Cole Miller (LW)

(Carmelo Marrero winds up to club Rafael Real at a WCO event in November 2007. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

FiveOuncesofPain is reporting that TUF 8 light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader — who defeated Vinny Magalhaes last month to win the show’s six-figure contract — will be returning to action at UFC Fight Night 18 (April 1st, Nashville). His opponent will be Carmelo Marrero (10-2), an American Top Team fighter who went 1-2 in the UFC in 2006-2007. Marrero made his Octagon debut as a heavyweight at UFC 64, where he scored an upset split-decision over Cheick Kongo. Unfortunately, he then took a first-round loss via armbar to Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 66, and was then choked out by Wilson Gouveia at UFC 71 after dropping to light-heavyweight; Marrero was released by the UFC shortly after. Since then, "The Fury" has gone 4-0 with one no-contest, most recently winning a split decision over Steve Steinbless at WEC 36 in November — and earning a return trip back to the UFC.

In other UFC news…

— A little higher up the light-heavyweight ladder, Matt Hamill (5-2) will reportedly be welcoming WEC vet Mark Munoz (5-0) to the Octagon at UFC 96 (March 7th, Columbus). A former NCAA wrestling champion at Oklahoma State and current protege of Urijah Faber, Munoz scored first-round TKO victories in his last two fights, against Ricardo Barros at WEC 37 last month and Chuck Grigsby at WEC 34 in June. Hamill most recently defeated Reese Andy by second-round TKO at last month’s UFC 92.

— Randy Couture will most likely face Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in his next fight, but not until the second half of this year. Couture had to undergo surgery recently to remove a pair of abnormally large bone spurs from his elbow, which means he’ll be out rehabbing for a while.

(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

(‘Now we go for ice cream!’  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

It was an MMA-tastic week what with the “Fight for the Troops” and the Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale both within a few days of one another, plus a little Adrenaline thrown in the mix.  And while the big boys mostly sat this one out and let the young up-and-comers vie for the spotlight, there were still plenty of gains and losses made.  Now it’s time to sort through the wreckage and see who’s up and who’s down with our arbitrary numerical rating system.

Josh Koscheck +87

Even after putting a hurting on Yoshida, the future is uncertain for Kos.  Is he the best welterweight no one really wants to see all that badly?  

Ryan Bader +102

Wrestler-turned-TUF winner proves he’s got more than just takedowns in his arsenal, going upside Vinny’s head with a big right hand.  Satisfying ending, but let’s see what he can do against a real UFC fighter before we get too excited.

Vinny Magalhaes -48

Trying to prove you can do something other than the thing you do really, really well is admirable, though not all that bright.

Phillipe Nover -19

For a guy who does so many things well, there sure is a huge hole in his game.  I’d get that fixed if I was you.

(Shhh…go to sleep.  Gif thanks to Smoogy on the UG.)

Dave Kaplan is officially the luckiest son of a bitch on last night’s Ultimate Finale card.  For getting his ass handed to him by Junie Browning in the evening’s first televised bout he received a $25,000 bonus for “Fight of the Night,” as did Browning. 

Not that it was a bad fight by any means, but neither was it exhilarating or even all that competitive, unless Dana White is really that impressed by a guy willing to keep trying the same straight foot lock that only works on BJJ blue belts and Tim Sylvia.  If you ask me (and you kind of did, by virtue of coming to this website and reading this far, sucker), White wanted to reward Browning for showing up and appearing to have his shit together, and Kaplan’s pockets got fatter just by being in the way.  As long as the check clears, “Diamond” Dave can’t complain.

The Knockout of the Night bonus obviously went to Anthony “Rumble” Johnson for putting his shin across Kevin Burns’ jaw and reminding us all that sleep truly is the cousin of death.

Krzysztof Soszynski (K-Sos to the Potato Nation) pocketed 25 grand for Submission of the Night after wrenching Shane Primm’s shoulder all out of shape.

Full disclosed payouts and analysis of said payouts from last night’s event are after the jump.  Won’t you join us?

(Photos courtesy of UFC.com)

After a long, arduous, bodily-fluid-filled season of The Ultimate Fighter, we’ve finally made it to the end. It’s time to see who’s worthy of the hype, who’s ready for the big show, who’s taking home the six-figure contracts. If you’re not psyched for this, go watch Bromance you freakin’ fairy. For everyone else, hit that "Read More" link and refresh the page every few minutes for live round-by-round updates and commentary.

SPOILER ALERT: This liveblog kicks off at 9 p.m. ET, but the broadcast is tape-delayed on the West Coast (and possibly other parts of the country). Check your local listings, and keep in mind that we may be writing about things you haven’t seen yet. So if you’re coming in, scroll carefully.

("Okay, my turn next," said Stankie, taking off his pants.)

Efrain‘s guest blog is going to be a little late this week, but we wanted to get up at least a small post about last night’s TUF double-header so you could discuss it, if you wanted to, in the comments section. Basically, here’s what happened:

Ryan Bader def. Eliot Marshall via boring fucking wrestling
Phillipe Nover def. George Roop via storm/kimura
Vinny Magalhaes def. K-Sos via scary, scary, high-level jiu-jitsu
Efrain Escudero def. Junie Browning via submission (punishment)

Of course, Browning actually competing in his semi-final match was a story in itself. Discouraged by his performance in practice, Browning announced to Frank Mir that he was quitting the competition; Mir had no objection. Back at the house, Browning threw a coffee mug at Shane Primm and started swinging at him. When the dust settled, Dana White stopped by to play psychologist, asked the guys if they wanted to kick Junie off or beat him off — we’d assume that Tom Lawlor voted "beat him off" — and convinced Junie to stay. Oh, and the best part? Junie is going to be on the main card of the TUF 8 finale, solely on the basis of being a ridiculous head-case. (Fittingly, he’ll be fighting Dave Kaplan, the runner-up to Junie’s reality-show dumbass crown.)

For the record, Junie places most of the blame for his loss to Efrain on having awful cardio. As he writes in his final blog entry for UFC.com:

(All that wisdom, and no primetime TV slot on which to garble it…yet.)

Right away we knew that Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz (aka: Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s boxing coach) had a certain magic about him. From his crazy motivational sayings to his semi-coherent ramblings about sardines, the man is straight up charismatic. But the more stories about him that trickle out, the more it’s starting to seem like he is being criminally underused in this season of The Ultimate Fighter. The latest Stank-tastic tale comes from TUF 8 cast member Ryan Bader, who paints a portrait of Stank as a lovable old card getting the most out of his affiliation with Nogueira:

I have a funny story about Al Stankie, who is our older boxing coach. After practice the coaches would go grab something to eat — most of the time without showering and in full Team Nogueira garb, which (I’m pretty sure) they were not supposed to be doing. Stankie had on a rashguard, full TapouT velour red warm-up, a TapouT beanie and a couple long gold chains. They went to The Palms to watch the Lakers vs. Celtics game. Stankie is a big Lakers fan, and when a Celtics fan expressed some joy about his team scoring, Stankie walked over and slapped the guy — with all of our Brazilian coaches looking on in horror. Before the other coaches could grab him, he yelled out, “I am with the heavyweight champion of the world! You want some?” Those of us that saw this understood that this could be Junie’s relative, and maybe that is why he wasn’t kicked off the show yet. Stankie is a great man, and Spike TV should give him his own show.

There are many stories that involve Stankie that I will try to give to you each week. We would all gather around Dan Valverde, one of the assistant coaches, and he would tell us the stories of what Stankie did over the weekend.

Bader also described Stankie as “drunk and funny as ever” when he and Nogueira showed up at the house to try and squash the prank war, which might at least partially explain the disrespect shown by many of the Team Mir fighters.

As for the suggestion that Spike TV should give Stankie his own show, we’re all for it. The fact that Brooke Hogan has her own show and Stankie doesn’t, well, let’s just say it’s a sign that this nation has lost its way.

(G’night, Tom.)

In last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, teams were picked, hearts were broken, underwear was shrink-wrapped, gallons of alcohol were consumed, and the first light-heavyweight got knocked out of contention. Let’s get to it…

The show starts and Junie is drinking already. We get the first (ever?) glimpse of the TUF liquor closet, where quality is made up for with quantity. K-Sos, despite his intimidating appearance, is presented as one of the good guys of the house — a steak-sharer, not a street-fighter.

Brian McLaughlin and Karn Grigoryan, who sustained nose-fractures in their elimination matches, are slapped with 180-day suspensions from the NSAC and are ordered to go home. They hang around the gym in shock until Dana breaks the silence with “Go ‘head guys, you gotta walk out the door there.” Kyle Kingsbury, who looked sharp in his opening-round loss to Ryan Bader, is brought back to replace Grigoryan. Brian will be replaced by a mystery lightweight who flew home before he could be called back again.

Frank Mir wins the coin toss, and opts for first fighter pick. The picks shake out like this…

Mir: K-Sos, Vinny Magalhaes, Eliot Marshall, Tom Lawlor, Junie Browning, Shane Nelson, Dave Kaplan, George Roop
Nog: Ryan Bader, Shane Primm, Kyle Kingsbury, Jules Bruchez, Phillipe Nover, Efrain Escudero, John “Huggy Bear” Polakowski, Mr. X

(Click for larger image.)

SpikeTV just sent out the first cast shot of the Ultimate Fighter 8 gang, in which it appears that Big Nog has intimidated some of his guys into wearing socks on the mat.

You may also be interested in Ryan “Darth” Bader’s Ultimate Fighter audition video, which we’ve posted below. Not only is Bader a promising fighter, he also enjoys keg stands, naked pool-lounging, bro’ing out with CB Dollaway, and having sex with women. He also has some incredibly unoriginal taste in highlight-reel music. I already hate this person.

(Props to ‘Crooklyn’ on the UG.)