Amazing find by Fightlinker: Here’s some footage of Sean Gannon and Kimbo Slice following their legendary fiasco of a fight that saw Slice eventually succumb to exhaustion. As you can see, both men are near-death after the brawl’s end, with Slice unable to get to his feet and Gannon too gassed to respond to "all the nuthuggas who didn’t think [he] had a chance." Kimbo would go on to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars per fight as EliteXC’s marquee attraction (and the catalyst behind its sad demise), while Sean Gannon would go on to get tooled by Branden Lee Hinkle at UFC 55 and never fight again; which goes to show you never can tell.

Caution: Extreme Boston accents ahead.

(Reflecting on what might have been.)

Of all the incredulous claims about Kimbo Slice‘s future, it’s starting to seem like very few of them are going to pan out. Though Si.com reported that former Boston police officer Sean Gannon was the front runner to become Slice’s next opponent on the October 4 CBS show, Elite XC’s Jared Shaw told Five Ounces of Pain that the bout definitely won’t be happening. You could interpret this as a sign that Elite XC has officially gotten their collective mind right when it comes to Kimbo Slice matchmaking, but Sam Caplan says the fight was scratched not because it’s a pointless circus bout, but because of Gannon’s “financial demands.”

In other words, Elite XC is perfectly willing to bring YouTube quality fights to network TV, but only if they can do it cheap. Looks like we’re back to either Ken Shamrock or Brett Rogers.

Outside the cage, it looks as if Kimbo will no longer be co-starring with Hulk Hogan in the lovable 3-D children’s film “Kung Fu U.” According to the Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch, things fell apart “due to a misunderstanding among the agents involved with the Kimbo Slice deal” and Stereo Vision has since retracted their press release.

You know what that means? There’s a spot open in a hot new 3-D martial arts movie, and you get to play opposite Hulk Hogan, of “Mr. Nanny” fame! Get those audition tapes ready. Try to make them better than this one.

(Noons: More elusive than Machida? Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Jared Shaw has had enough. The EliteXC vice president told MMA Junkie that KJ Noons has been given one more day to accept an October 4th title fight with Nick Diaz. “A bout agreement has been sent to KJ Noons,” Shaw said. “He has until 5 (p.m. PT Thursday) to accept it, or he can face public opinion.”

In a longer interview with MMA Junkie posted yesterday evening, Shaw strongly criticized Noons and his management for their unwillingness to commit to the Diaz fight. Some highlights:

“I’m sitting here and I’m drinking from a carton of milk right now. And the EliteXC lightweight champion KJ Noons’ face is on the back of this milk carton because he’s missing in action. I can’t seem to find him.”

“Since day one [Noons' manager] Mark Dion has been insinuating that EliteXC has been out to get KJ Noons. I just can’t figure that out. When a guy appears on the very first card — and the very first fight gets knocked out in the very first round off the very first punch — and we’re there to hold his hand and pick him back up and put him right back on television in a main event on ShoXC? And then when he’s 1-1, get him right back into a main event situation for the world championship against Nick Diaz, the legend who beat Gomi, how are you going to say that we’re not trying to help your kid? What more opportunity could we give the kid?”

(This seems like something we should relive on network television, right?)

The rumor mill has been churning this week as to who Elite XC will get to take on Kimbo Slice on their October 4 CBS event, which is being called something of a make-or-break show for the organization. In a new article on Si.com, Josh Gross adds another name to the list: Sean freaking Gannon.

As in, the Boston cop who defeated Slice in an ugly, amateurish brawl back in 2004. As in, the guy who later got a shot in the UFC, only to be trounced by the unremarkable Brandon Lee Hinkle. As in, the guy who is officially 1-1 in MMA competition. That Sean Gannon.

Gross says that difficulty signing Ken Shamrock and concerns that undefeated heavyweight Brett Rogers would actually beat Kimbo (apparently that’s enough to nix an opponent for Slice) are making the Gannon bout a very real possibility at this point.

There are many, many reasons why this is an idiotic idea. To name just one, Gannon isn’t an MMA fighter. He hasn’t competed since 2005, doesn’t seem to be actively pursuing a career in the sport, and hasn’t done anything that would suggest he should be fighting professionally on CBS. He’s just a tough guy who once fought and outlasted Kimbo back in his street brawling days. In other words, this fight would be a major step back for MMA, not to mention one that would happen on network TV.

Let’s all hope that this is nothing more than a vicious, hateful rumor. Let’s hope that when Elite XC executives hear of it, they scoff out loud. Let’s hope that when Brett Rogers hears of it, he doesn’t murder whoever is closest to him. Let’s hope, but let’s not be too shocked if it turns out to be true.

(And now that anonymous bald man in the sweat pants is landing magazine covers and headlining a show on CBS. God bless America.)

Fightline.com is passing along the rumor that EliteXC is working to get Kimbo Slice in the cage with Sean Gannon, the Boston police officer and former Golden Gloves champion who put Kimbo down for the 30-count during an unregulated basement brawl in 2004. As Slice has said, “I would literally give my left nut — but I wouldn’t tell anybody — to fight him again.” Slice’s fight with Gannon was a chaotic mess, hampered by a lack of clarity on the rules; Kimbo thought it would be bare-knuckle boxing like his previous fights, and was thrown off when Gannon began throwing knees and attempting choke-holds. Gannon’s subsequent notoriety landed him a shot in the UFC, where he got his ass kicked by Branden Lee Hinkle at UFC 55. Jesus Christ, did those guys tie their wagon to the wrong Internet fighter or what?

Oddly enough, this isn’t the first time I saw Gannon’s name today. He was actually name-checked today in a Wall Street Journal article (!) about police officers who moonlight as MMA fighters:

Some of the biggest names in this sport, whose main league is the Ultimate Fighting Championship, are police officers. Sean “the Cannon” Gannon, a Boston police officer, achieved notoriety when he defeated street fighter Kimbo Slice in a bare-knuckles, backyard brawl. “Big John” McCarthy is the most well-known referee; he just retired from his day job as defensive-tactics instructor for the Los Angeles Police Department…

Forrest Griffin, who ranks among the top six light heavyweights in the world, quit his job as an officer in Augusta, Ga., four years ago to become a professional fighter. He first became interested in fighting in 1999, when he trained at the police academy. Though Mr. Griffin, 29, misses some things about being a police officer — like high-speed chases — he says quitting was an easy decision. “It was like, do you want to play in the NBA or do you want to be a cop?” he says. “Everyone wants to make lots of money to be on TV.”