— Chuck Liddell asked motivational guru Tony Robbins to help him regain his success drive (Top of page 2). Robbins refused, saying “I am not a slut, or a prostitute.” Kidding, unfortunately…

— Effective immediately, the California State Athletic Commission will include MDMA (Ecstasy) and Oxycodone in its testing for drugs of abuse. Which is completely ridiculous, if you ask me. If anything, ecstasy is a drug of love and caring.

— Speaking of controlled substances, Sean Sherk’s steroid appeal hearing is scheduled for tomorrow. If it’s postponed again, Sherk will surely fly into a ‘roid rage that won’t end until all the tables in his house are broken in half and all the walls have holes punched in them. I mean, allegedly.

— Xyience has fired most of its sales staff due to financial setbacks, and may soon file for bankruptcy. Let’s hope that Quinton Jackson needs some good reps to move his energy drink.

— Drunk jackasses fail to recognize Aleksander Emelianenko, at their own peril!

Steroid accusations aside, Sean Sherk has had one of the most dominant careers in MMA. In 34 professional fights, he’s only lost twice, against superstars Matt Hughes and Georges St. Pierre. This fight from UFC 56 in November 2005 is Sherk’s only loss by stoppage, and his second-to-last appearance as a welterweight. As for St. Pierre, in two more matches he would be the UFC’s welterweight champion…

The UFC held a media conference call yesterday to pump up UFC 78, and since I wasn’t around to liveblog it — I know, disappointing, right? — you’ll have to settle for this recap. Dana White, Michael Bisping, Rashad Evans, and Houston Alexander were in attendance, and the audio from the call can be heard here.

Among the revelations…

— Dana White has officially offered Randy Couture a title defense against Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira. The match would fulfill the last fight on Couture’s UFC contract; he isn’t technically in violation of that contract unless he turns the fight down. Couture texted White on Sunday and they are planning to discuss it next week. Nogueira is a former PRIDE heavyweight champion who won his first UFC fight in July via unanimous decision against Heath Herring. Never, ever do a Google Image Search for “Nogueira.”

#10 (tie): Chris “The Polish Hammer” Horodecki & Peter “The Dutch Lumberjack” Aerts

Though it has a long, proud history, the nationality + noun combination is always a risky move when crafting a nickname. If it’s “The Polish ____” it can end up sounding like the setup to a joke. (i.e., “You hear the one about the Polish Hammer? They use it to pound fingernails.” Or something like that, but much funnier.) With any other nationality, like “The Dutch ____,” it can end up sounding like a deviant sex act. Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis gets a pass because hand grenades are badass.

Remember how we told you that Sean Sherk’s appeal hearing for his steroid case was postponed until November 13th? Well, it’s been postponed again, this time until December 4th. Man, you thought Dana White was pissed before…

Sherk’s lawyer in the case is Howard Jones, who has advised many other high-profile athletes in doping cases, including sprinters Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery, and Tour de France winner Floyd Landis. Basically, what Johnnie Cochran is to double-murder, Howard Jones is to steroids — sure, it looks a little suspicious when you hire him, but as Chris Rock once said, “I’d rather look guilty at the mall.”

Yahoo! Sports has reported that Sean “Muscle Shark” Sherk — who tested positive for an anabolic steroid in July after his title defense against Hermes Franca at UFC 73 — will remain the UFC’s lightweight champion. Dana White had originally planned to strip Sherk of his title, but changed his mind due to his frustration with the California Athletic Commission. Sherk has denied taking steroids, and appealed his one-year suspension, but had his hearing postponed until November 13 when members of the CAC realized they had not received a 17-page brief that Sherk’s attorney had submitted on his behalf. “The way this whole thing has been handled has been a mess,” White said.

UFC lightweights BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will fight for an interim title at UFC 80, with the winner potentially facing Sherk after the case is settled. We at CagePotato wish Sean the best in his fight against the California Bureau of Whatever; just because a guy looks like he’s on every steroid under the sun, doesn’t necessarily mean he is. Let’s give the man a fair shake, people.