(Video: Zombie Prophet)

Though both events took place under the purview of the California State Athletic Commission, the no-nonsense, military precision of last week’s UFC on FOX weigh-ins was nowhere to be seen last night’s event. That’s not necessarily a good thing for the fighters , but it’s certainly more entertaining for the rest of us.

Things kicked off with a healthy dose of confusion. Several prelim fighters tipped the scales well over the allotted limit, which Joe Rogan attributed to a discrepancy between the scales backstage and the official one upfront. While there may be some truth to that, other fighters managed to hit the target on the dot. It was painfully clear that the chick running the show for the CSAC had no clue what she was doing. You know you’re in for a wild ride when someone seeks mathematical and scientific guidance from this guy.

(McGee vs. Yang, the middleweight showdown that UFC fans have been…wait a minute, remind me again who Yang is?)

Unless you’re one of those Bud Light ‘Battle on the Bayou’ contest winners, you’re probably not overly excited about Saturday’s “Shields vs. Ellenberger” UFC event on Spike. Boxing already has Saturday night locked up, with Floyd Mayweather‘s ring-return against 24-year-old WBC Welterweight champ Victor Ortiz, and it feels like UFC Fight Night 25 will be an overlooked prelude to next week’s Jones vs. Rampage card.

But let’s not admit defeat so soon. We’ll be liveblogging the Shields vs. Ellenberger main card on CagePotato.com starting at 9 p.m. ET, and it would be nice if a few of you showed up to keep us company. Could it be one of those “crap on paper, bonkers in reality” events? Who knows, but consider the following…

All Eyes on Jake: So far, Jake Shields‘s UFC career has consisted of an underwhelming (and razor-thin) split-decision victory over Martin Kampmann, and a rout at the hands of Georges St. Pierre. His dominant stretch of eight-straight stoppage victories in 2006-2009 are a distant memory in the minds of MMA fans, and he needs a dramatic win here, badly. Shields’s dance partner, Jake Ellenberger, has been spent years fighting for recognition, and with four straight Octagon wins over serious competition, he’s starting to get it. Stylistically, the fight might not be a barn-burner, but it could have career-altering implications for the headliners.

You tell us who looks more “All American”, Mr. Weidman. (Pics: JustinTrapp.com, SBRForum.com)

There may not be an event this weekend, but that doesn’t mean the boys behind the scenes at Zuffa aren’t working hard. Fights have been announced this weekend at a furious pace, and there seems to be no end in sight. Let’s hope Joe Silva’s getting some of that “Anderson Silva money”. Without further ado:

The UFC Fight Night 25 card is starting to flesh out. Lightweight Evan Dunham will take on recent TUF graduate Shamar Bailey. Dunham was last seen being picked up off the canvas following a brutal TKO loss to Melvin Guillard at Fight for the Troops 2. His prior controversial split decision loss to Sean Sherk was tallied as a victory by the only person that really matters, so his back isn’t exactly against the wall here. As for Bailey, he failed to make it to the finals of The Ultimate Fighter 13 despite being a hands on favorite to take the trophy, but he did win a plodding, uninspiring decision over Ryan McGillivray at the finale. Bailey needs to show that he’s got more in his arsenal than world-class smothering.

Still here? More announcements are after the jump!

Dammit, who are all you guys again?

Say what you will about The Ultimate Fighter (not like you need an invitation), but the finale shows tend to be pretty damn fun. This season, we actually have two fairly solid finalists, a dynamite co-main in Pettis-Guida, plus a handful of other matchups calibrated for striking showdowns and crowd amazement.

Here’s a quick and dirty rundown of the fights scheduled for this weekend, with a few of those fancy moving pictures that you like so much. Who ya got?

Ramsey Nijem

VS

Tony Ferguson

Well, either this fight is the one you’ve been waiting for, or you’re just wondering what these two nobodies are doing on your UFC card. Tune in to find out which guy gets a contract with the UFC. (Spoiler Alert: It’ll be both of them.)

(“New episode of ‘Coal’? YEAH, BABY! GET SOME!” / Gif via IronForgesIron.com)

The quarterfinal round kicked off in last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bellyache vs. Team Stare Directly at the Camera While Being Interviewed by Megan Olivi, and Shamar Bailey’s not feeling a personal best. The gray-team standout tweaked his back, and direct pressure ain’t comfortable. As he discusses it with Justin Edwards, Chris Cope lurks by, as if on cue, and screams “Woo!”

“I’mma choke that voice box out,” Shamar says.

But before he gets a chance to do that, Ramsey Nijem and Clay Harvison will square off. Dos Santos feels Ramsey is the best wrestler on his team. Ramsey says that his Palestinian heritage helps him be the fighter he is. He’s seen the road-stops, the walls, the guns; he feels grateful to be fighting in a controlled environment, and not for his life.

Dana White brings UFC middleweight contender and war hero Brian Stann to the gym. Stann tells the guys about being a Marine Corps captain, the lifestyle of discipline, how success breeds success…wait a minute. Is this just an ad for the Marines? This is like those segments on The Biggest Loser where they teach the contestants how to cook with Jennie-O-brand turkey. Come on, you know what I’m talking about. I can’t stand that crap. Anyway, Brock tells some of these long-haired punks to fill out an application.

(Coaching gaffes aside, the green jersey really brings out his eyes. Pic: TheMMANews)

At least one thing was abundantly clear Wednesday night about the debut episode of “The Ultimate Fighter,” season 13: Brock Lesnar has obviously never seen this show before. Forget for a minute all the silly squabbling over the former heavyweight champ’s credentials as a coach and whether or not his inclusion on the UFC’s popular reality show will be good for ratings and/or the sport. The real question this morning is whether or not Lesnar even owns a television, because the dude played the “TUF 13” season premiere like a straight-up rookie. Things snowballed so quickly and decisively in the favor of Team Dos Santos, that by the end of the first 60 minutes we had to wonder if this season will be another one-sided ass-kicking on the order of those handed out by Team GSP on “TUF 12” and Team Rashad on “TUF 10.”

We don’t want to totally bury Team Lesnar this early on because – let’s face it – a lot can happen between now and the end of the season, especially since producers appear to have done an uncharacteristically good job making the actual cast of “TUF 13” look evenly matched. There are only two dudes on board we’ve ever heard of before – Shamar Bailey and Ryan McGillivray, both snapped up quick-fast by Team JDS – so maybe Brock’s picks will surprise us. Still, we couldn’t help but notice that Lesnar didn’t exactly pin episode one to the mat and give it a Heath Herring-style beatdown. Here are the multiple ways Coach Brock screwed things up …

(Brock and the Burn Machine: Like a Shakeweight for straight dudes. Props: ZombieProphet)

The Ultimate Fighter: Team Lesnar vs. Team Dos Santos premiered last night, and whatever the opposite of fireworks is, that’s what episode 1 delivered. We begin with a video montage introducing the coaches. Brock Lesnar announces that he ain’t here to make friends during the first minute. Check that off your reality show cliche scorecard. (In an unrelated story, Junior Dos Santos later refers to himself as “a sleepy bitch.”)

The fighters come in howling like they just got selected for a spot on Mr. Awesome. They’re told that there will be no elimination fight to get into the house, which gets them even more psyched. Brock and Junior enter the room to a rousing ovation. The guys applaud Brock’s list of credentials. Dana says that Junior “stepped aside from that title shot to come in here and teach you guys what he’s got.” Obviously, they’re not going to mention Cain Velasquez’s injury and how Junior really felt about his title shot getting delayed.

(Update: The video was stuck on auto-play, so we moved it after the jump…)

Courtesy of Spike TV, here’s the cast unveiling video for TUF 13, which premieres on March 30th. Among the 14 welterweight hopefuls, there are fewer well-known names compared to recent seasons. I know who Shamar Bailey is because of his stint with Strikeforce, while undefeated KOTC standout Myles Jury — 9-0, all wins by stoppage, eight in the first round — has also been on my radar. But other than that, the cast is mostly made up of unknowns, with no obvious ringer in the mix. On the other hand, there also isn’t a lot of crazy hair in this video, which suggests that maybe these guys are more serious about fighting than camera time. That’s a good sign. A complete cast-list is after the jump…