(“…unless it’s on short notice, in which case I’ll have to decline because it would be the worst decision of my career.” Pic Props: No Holds Barred)

By Jason Moles

The Ultimate Fighting Championship recently held its own version of Dana White’s “blocking spree,” as the official roster has been narrowed quite noticeably, leaving many to seek employment elsewhere. Over the past few weeks, a handful of fighters received their pink slips for refusing to take a fight on short notice, losing a fight taken on short notice, missing weight, and flat-out sucking. Although it’s been quite a while since we last did this, we feel it only necessary at this point in time to offer a few suggestions to the latest Zuffa casualties.

Dennis Hallman: If there’s one thing we’ll remember about Hallman, it’s his appearance in the Octagon wearing nothing but a Speedo and the gloves on his hands. The aging veteran (he’ll turn 37 in December) still has a few years before he’s eligible to receive those social security checks and will need to find a new gig to line his wallet. The timing couldn’t be better, really; as it turns out, Speedo needs a new PR guy. And to think you thought I was just grabbing low-hanging fruit. Psssh! Having a former UFC fighter with over 65 fights pushing your product will definitely put Speedo back on the map. He’ll tell consumers about the extra attention and unique propositions you’ll undoubtedly receive because of the confidence you exude. If he plays his cards right, maybe someone will pay him to just go away.

(Johnson secures a dominant position against Mike Swick at UFC on FOX 4, shortly before it all fell apart.)

After suffering his third-straight stoppage loss against newcomer Gunnar Nelson at UFC on FUEL 5: Struve vs. Miocic, UFC welterweight DaMarques Johnson has been released by the promotion. Johnson confirmed the news via Twitter late last night. “And the hits keep on coming,” Darkness wrote. “No longer a UFC fighter.”

The TUF 9 finalist complied an official record of 4-6 within the Octagon, with none of those fights going to decision — a stat that placed him in a first-place tie on the “Least Decision-Prone UFC Fighters of All Time” leaderboard. His most recent fight was somewhat controversial in that it came just 56 days after a brutal knockout loss to Mike Swick. Johnson faced Gunnar Nelson on short notice as an injury replacement, and while the UFC usually gives extra leeway to fighters who step up to save fights, the fact that Johnson didn’t even come close to making weight likely sealed his fate.

In other firing news…

Pictured: Their approximate reactions to finding out “garbage-ass” was a real phrase.

One week ago, Ben published an article voicing concerns over how weak UFC 151′s main card was. But it was cool, because Jon Jones vs. Dan Henderson was going to be such an awesome fight. Two days ago, Jones vs. Henderson was scrapped and UFC 151 was canceled. [Ed. note: Damn, two days? Feels like we've been covering this forever.] Even though most of us acknowledged that the cancellation of the event was at least partially due to the garbage-assness of pretty much the entire card, we were too busy talking about Jon Jones ducking Chael Sonnen/Sonnen attempting to troll his way into an immediate title shot (depending on which side of the fence you’re on) to really delve into the issue. But now that the UFC has started to transplant the canceled UFC 151 fights to other cards, it’s time to take a closer look at that issue for a moment.

The bouts from UFC 151 are quickly being rescheduled for different cards, with UFC on FX 5 taking a significant chunk of them. As we covered in yesterday’s link dump, UFC 151′s planned co-main event, Jake Ellenberger vs. Jay Hieron, will now be the co-main event of UFC On FX 5. This won’t be the only fight from UFC 151′s main card that will now be padding UFC on FX 5 – Dennis Hallman vs. Thiago Tavares, Danny Castillo vs. Michael Johnson and Shane Roller vs. Jacob Volkmann will be moved to this card as well. UFC on Fuel TV 6 will now be featuring fights between bantamweights Takeya Mizugaki and Jeff Hougland and flyweights John Lineker and Yasuhiro Urushitani, while Kyle Noke and Charlie Brenneman will do the man dance on the undercard of UFC 152.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s worth mentioning that absolutely none of these fights – three of which were on the pay-per-view portion of UFC 151, mind you – have made it to the main card of an upcoming pay-per-view. Now I understand that financially, most fighters who were expecting a paycheck on September 1 simply can’t afford to wait until November’s UFC 154 to fight again. But that’s not the issue: The issue is that the UFC could afford to move pay-per-view quality fights *makes this hand gesture* to free television in the first place.

(Alessio prays for forgiveness (and another shot) after coming up short in a snoozer against Shane Roller at UFC 148.) 

We don’t mean to disrespect a grizzled veteran of the sport like John Alessio, but simply put, if you are shocked to learn that “The Natural” was released from the UFC following an 0-2 stint in the octagon, you are either John Alessio or Lloyd Christmas. Having compiled an 0-5 lifetime record in the promotion, Alessio not only received one of the most undeserved title shots of all time under the Zuffa banner, but will live in CagePotato infamy for his placement amongst the “50 Worst Fighters in UFC History” and “The Ten Most Ironic Nicknames in MMA”. While he might be upset to learn of his placement on one of those lists, the other was more or less just a means of wasting time on our part.

Based purely on comparative success in other promotions, Alessio was/is basically the Canadian version of Jorge Santiago — a man capable of crushing 95% of the fighters he faces outside of the promotion, but one who simply couldn’t put it together under the bright lights — scoring impressive wins over fellow UFC veterans Chris Clements, War Machine, and Sean Pierson among others. Of his five losses, four came by way of unanimous decision, against superior strikers (Thiago Alves, Diego Sanchez), superior grapplers (Mark Bocek, Shane Roller) and superior superiors (Pat Militech). In an interview with MMAJunkie, Alessio discussed how his most recent loss to Roller was the hardest to swallow:

 I’m super upset. I worked so long and so hard to get back, and the UFC always puts all this pressure on you about being exciting, so I tried to change my style up to be crowd-pleasing. But then I get an opponent in my last fight, where he just chose to hold me down to win the fight, and it’s just depressing that that gets rewarded when all they talk about is exciting fights.

I really thought that I’d be spending more than a couple of months of 2012 in the UFC. I thought I’d get one more shot. I don’t know where I should go or what my options are.

Though we are sure that Alessio will find success wherever he lands, his hope of getting a win in the UFC before he retires is a long shot at best at this point in his career. The 33 year-old Xtreme Couture products record currently stands at 34-16.

A tribute to Alessio’s finest UFC moments is after the jump. 

Swanson vs. Roop provided an early candidate for Side-Punchface of the Year. Props: UFC.com

Remember how last night, you invited your non-MMA fan friends over to introduce them to our sport? You spent the past week talking about how Chael Sonnen is one of the best trash talkers in professional sports, and how technical and talented these fighters were. You figured that after three fights that were guaranteed to be exceptional, your friends would be won over to MMA fandom. Then you’d continue to drink and be merry all night, and we’d all meet up here today for our traditional post-UFC event GIF party where we all high five over how awesome the fights were.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, you found yourself doing damage control as you watched three fights worth of sloppy brawling, wall and stall and Chael Sonnen’s blatant swaggerjacking of homage to “Superstar” Billy Graham. You tried to convince them that the fights are usually nothing like this, and that these guys gassing out and the end of the first round are world class athletes. Eventually, one of your friends said “I bet Pacquiao would destroy ANY of these guys” as the rest of your friends grabbed their coats and said they’d call you next time they wanted to watch the fights.

Okay, so last night sucked. But we’ve been planning this party all week, and we’ll be damned if we cancel it at this point. So grab an alcoholic beverage, put on your gaudiest Affliction shirt and join us for our traditional post-UFC event GIF Party.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet at IronForgesIron.com for the GIFS.

(Ain’t that the truth.) 

Yesterday, the UFC announced that its second UFC on FUELTV event was set to transpire in Stockholm, Sweden, prompting fight booking rumors to materialize faster than an Ikea entertainment center. First off, a clash between middleweight strikers Brian Stann and Alessio Sakara is apparently in the works, and promises to be what JR would call, “a good old fashioned slobber knocker.”

After putting together a three fight win streak between 2008 and 2010, “Legionarius” has not fought since dropping a unanimous decision to last minute replacement and fast rising middleweight contender Chris Weidman at UFC Live 3. Sakara was set to face Jorge Rivera on two separate occasions, at UFC 118 and 133, but was forced to pull out from both fights due to some bad fish and a torn ACL, respectively. Stann similarly saw a three fight streak snapped at UFC 136, when he was dominated on the mat by Chael Sonnen en route to a second round arm triangle submission. Given Sakara’s somewhat suspect chin, you gotta imagine this match is Stann’s to lose.

When the UFC first announced the location of this event, there were a couple of names, mainly Alexander Gustafsson and Papy Abedi, that most figured would have to be included on the card. Though “The Mauler” has yet to be given an opponent, Abedi has already been booked to take on James Head. Abedi will be looking to rebound from a first round submission(!) loss to Thiago Alves in his UFC debut back at UFC 138 when he takes on Head, who is also coming off an unsuccessful octagon debut. The Oklahoma native was choked out by Nick Ring in the third round of their UFC 131 battle.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/IronForgesIron)

Even if you aren’t looking forward to the main event of Saturday’s UFC 132: Faber vs. Cruz this upcoming long weekend, there is much more to excite you about this card even with BJ Penn and Jon Fitch out with injuries.

Check out what goodness 132 has in store for you and the remainder of the countdown show after the jump.

(Wanderlei Silva: You couldn’t last five minutes in this man’s world.)

UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber goes down Saturday night in Las Vegas, and in case you’re feeling some MMA fatigue after five consecutive weeks of events, let us remind you — this card has the potential to be a real son-of-a-bitch. Familiarize yourself with the lineup here, and get your juices flowing again by watching some career highlights from the fighters on the card. Enjoy…

(Ryan Bader vs. Keith Jardine, UFC 110, 2/21/10)

(Melvin Guillard vs. Dennis Siver, UFC 86, 7/5/08)

A number bookings for upcoming UFC events have being reported by various sources in the past 24 hours.

Heavy.com broke the news yesterday afternoon that former CagePotato.com The Ultimate Fighter 11 blogger Rich Attonito will try to prove the theory that Matt Brown has incriminating blackmail-worthy photos of UFC matchmaker Joe Silva when he attempts to hand the Seattle, Washington fighter his fourth straight UFC loss at the TUF 13 finale on June 4 in Las Vegas. Attonito will be hungry to rebound from a unanimous decision loss to David Branch he incurred at the TUF 12 finale in December.

(Hey Diego! A Japanese Macaque called! He wants his distinctive coloring and eerily human-like appearance back! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Photo courtesy of Tracy Lee/CageWriter)

Whether it was out of true admiration for a fantastic fight or guilt about the controversial decision, Dana White and the UFC made sure that Diego Sanchez and Martin Kampmann were well compensated for their main event performance last night at UFC on Versus 3, which ended in a unanimous 29-28 decision for Sanchez after three gory, action-packed rounds. While the event’s other bonus-winners — Shane Roller (Knockout of the Night) and Brian Bowles (Submission of the Night) — took home $40,000 bumps, Sanchez and Kampmann were first told that their Fight of the Night bonuses would be $60,000, before DW reportedly added another $100,000 each to their checks. So that’s $400,000 in total end-of-night bonuses, for an event that only collected $471,450 in gate receipts. Sometimes you just do it for the love, I guess.

As for that decision, which was troubling to many (myself not included), FightMetric did the math and decided that Kampmann should have won the fight 29-28 due to number of strikes landed and overall effectiveness. Of course, the criteria that computerized scoring systems use is often much different from the ones used by human judges, for better or worse.

(In slo-mo for your convenience. Props: kemist. Full-speed gif is at the end of this post.)

Let’s get this out of the way: The cage-spring head-kick that Anthony "Showtime" Pettis landed on Ben Henderson in their lightweight title fight at last night’s WEC 53 event was 1) The greatest kick in MMA history, 2) Maybe the most impressive knockdown in MMA history, and 3) Further proof that Pettis is one of the most exciting 155′ers in the universe. (He’s also punched his ticket to challenge for the UFC lightweight title against either Frankie Edgar or Gray Maynard, who both look dull as hell by comparison.)

We already knew Pettis was capable of stuff like this, but to have the balls to throw that kick in the fifth round of a title fight? If he planted his foot wrong, the video above might be titled "Ultimate Fail." Instead, he clinched the match on the judges scorecards with absolute authority. Said Pettis after the fight: “Duke Roufus plays with us, and we try these new kicks. He told us if one of us lands it in the cage that he would take us to dinner. So he owes me some dinner.”

The main event earned both men $10,000 Fight of the Night bonuses. As action-packed as the "Henderson vs. Pettis" broadcast was, the unaired prelims were equally hardcore, producing five first-round stoppages in seven bouts…

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

By CagePotato contributor Matt Kaplan

2003: 46-year-old Eugene Pettis has separated himself from gang life and is working to keep his family away from the violence that he ultimately could not escape. On November 13, he is stabbed three times in the chest and killed at a friend’s house across the street from his Milwaukee home.

2004-5: Eugene’s murder remains unsolved. His son Anthony turns his back on years of martial arts training and spirals out of control: “I was a lost cause,” he remembers.

2006: Anthony works his way back to martial arts, taking a job as a tae kwon do instructor at his brother’s academy. He is captivated by MMA and rededicates himself to competitive fighting.

2007: Anthony begins training with kickboxing legend Duke Roufus in November and wins his amateur MMA debut in 24 seconds on January 27, his 20th birthday. He wins his pro debut on December 1 in 36 seconds.

2009: Two days into a January vacation in Cancun, Mexico, Roufus calls Anthony (6-0) with the news that he’s been signed to a five-fight deal with the WEC and is scheduled to make his debut at WEC 40 in April. Vacation’s over.

2010: Anthony (9-1) is one of the WEC’s top lightweights. He’s finished Mike Campbell, Alex Karalexis, and Danny Castillo, and a win over Team Takedown’s Shane Roller at WEC 50 on August 18 could bring a title shot. On a hot August afternoon, Anthony Pettis talks to CagePotato.com about fighting, family, and food. Showtime, playa.

(Rematches? Bendo don’t need no stinkin’ rematches.)

In an interview with the Las Vegas Sun following his second win in a row over Donald Cerrone at the generic Aldo vs. Faber event in Sacramento, CA this past weekend WEC lightweight champ Ben Henderson says that he isn’t interested in fighting any of the guys he has faced in the past. If he has his way, which is very unlikely given the WEC’s penchant for rematches (see Faber vs. Brown or Faber vs. Pulver), it would mean that the promotion would have to bring in a new roster of talent, considering his list of former opponents include the top contenders in the division like former champ Jamie Varner, Anthony Njokuani and Shane Roller.

When asked by Brett Okamoto whether he was impressed by Roller’s first round submission win over Njokuani (who, in an  interview prior to the event told the reporter that he was in talks to face the winner of Henderson-Cerrone) Saturday night, Henderson replied, “I did catch Shane’s performance (Saturday) and he had a smart game plan. But I’m not looking to rematch people I’ve fought before. If I fight somebody and knock him out in a minute-thirty, do I want to fight him again? No; not so much.”

(Enjoy your victory now, Shane Roller, for it appears that you’re about to be brought back to Tatooine to answer for your unpaid intergalactic debts. Props: WKR)

Those of you watching last night’s Shane Roller-Danny Castillo fight at WEC 44 may have found yourselves wondering, Who is the guy in the Boba Fett get-up, and when’s the last time he got laid?  Face it, except for the morning after Halloween, one sentence that no woman has ever proudly uttered to her girlfriends is, ‘I totally went home with that guy at the party last night whose face was covered by his "Star Wars" outfit.’  At least, no height-weight proportional woman ever has, unless that sentence is followed by, ‘Will you give me a ride to rehab?’

Word has it that the nerd in question here is jiu-jitsu coach Marc Laimon, who appears to be wearing this zip-up Fett hoodie from designer/MMA fan Marc Ecko.  It retails for $98, making it slightly cheaper than the Storm Trooper jacket and X-Wing Pilot hoodie, for reasons that are known only to Ecko.  We just hope that they come out with an Ewok hoodie by the next time Urijah Faber has to corner one of his buddies at a WEC event.  If anybody could make it seem almost cool, it’s that chronically laid-back son of a bitch.

(Aldo vs. Brown. Props: MMA Linker. If the video doesn’t load for you, click here.)

Last night at WEC 44 in Las Vegas, Jose "Junior" Aldo went from exciting prospect to King of the Featherweight Mountain. The 23-year-old Nova Uniao standout picked up his sixth-straight TKO victory in the WEC — as well as his first major title — by shutting down incumbent champion Mike Brown‘s advantages in strength and wrestling while unleashing his own fearsome finishing ability as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

The first round of their main event battle saw both men trade heavy strikes, with Aldo impressively defending Brown’s takedown efforts. Aldo found his moment early in the second frame, rattling the champ with a flying knee and punches, then shoving his off-balance opponent to the canvas when Brown came in with a left hook. Aldo quickly transitioned to back-mount on the ground, and began firing punches to the side of Brown’s head. Brown tried to roll out of danger, but found himself caught in a mousetrap-like body lock that kept him pinned on his stomach. Eventually he turtled, and "Worst Referee in the History of Fighting" Steve Mazzagatti had to step in and do his job.