stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

Tag: Shawn Jordan

CagePotato Roundtable #34: What is the Single Worst Tattoo in MMA?


(And this debate is ALLLLLLLL OVVVERRRRR!!!)

Don’t let the “A” in MMA fool you, mixed martial arts fighters are *not* artists…at least, not  in the traditional sense of the term. Look no further than the hilariously atrocious inkwork that so often adorns their bodies for proof of this. Between the non-tribal tribal arm bands, the last name tramp stamps, and the ill-advised branding attempts, MMA fighters (and their fans — see above) sport some of the worst tattoos you’ll ever see outside of a prison cell. But who has the worst tattoo of them all? The CagePotato Roundtable investigates… 

Ben Goldstein

Matt Horwich‘s musical pencil is like something out of a nightmare. It’s a bunch of unrelated visual signifiers held together by an inscrutable logic, and the only thing being conveyed is dread. You wake up sweating after seeing this thing, and you tell your wife, “Shit, I had that dream about my stepfather again, but this time he was a pencil,” and she looks at you, trying to feign sympathy, but the apparition simply can’t be verbalized. Words will never do it justice, because it’s so much more than just “pencil, musical notes, angry face,” it’s what the pencil represents. That goddamned abusive drunk piece of shit, who hated himself because he couldn’t write songs like Neil Diamond, so he took it out on you and your mom. That face. You could put it on a cantaloupe, a hammer, the front of a steamboat, and it would still be him.

Look, I get it, Matt Horwich is eccentric. His concept of reality is not the same as yours. I’m trying to avoid judgment here, but I just can’t relate to the sort of mind that would put this on his body. It’s awful. A worn-down pencil with a ragged eraser. A face devoid of most human characteristics. And three notes — whole note, half note, quarter note! — flying upwards. It’s not a singing pencil. It’s a scowling pencil with musical notation ejecting from the end that is responsible for deletion, not creation. It’s a contradiction, and it’s unsettling. The pencil seems to be straining to get these notes out, and for what? To express that the artistic process is torture? Does the pencil wish it was a violin instead? Does Matt Horwich even remember getting this tattoo, or did it just kind of appear one day? You’re seeing it too, right? The pencil with the face? I’m not crazy, am I?

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TUF China Finale Results: Here’s What Happened to the Fighters With Wiki Pages


(Photo via Getty)

The UFC’s first TUF season in China is over. Zhang Lipeng defeated Wang Sai to become the first-ever Chinese Ultimate Fighter winner.

But I’m sure most of you don’t really care too much about that. After all, TUF china was a show with a recruitment policy so lax that an 0-0 yoga instructor somehow made it into the cast.

Despite the questionable levels of talent present, there were a few important fights on the card—relevant matches and interesting clashes of styles. Which fights were those? We’re gonna recap them for you.

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Barnburner Alert: Shawn Jordan vs. Matt Mitrione Added to ‘TUF: China’ Finale


(Photo via Getty Images.)

Since notching four TKOs (and five straight wins) in his first five UFC appearances, Matt “Meathead” Mitrione has hit a rut, to put it lightly. The TUF 10 alum and former professional football player has dropped three of his past four fights and was most recently choked out by friend and fellow TUF 10 alum Brendan Schaub at UFC 165. Cyborg Abreu was not impressed by this. Although Mitrione does meet the UFC’s ever-growing need for fighters who are more entertaining than consistent (a.k.a “The Voelker Amendment“), one could argue that he may be out of a job should he fail to get past his next test in Shawn Jordan.

The matchup, which was announced by the UFC’s Mark Fischer via Twitter over the weekend, will transpire at the TUF: China Finale on March 1st: LIVE ON FIGHT PASS!!

If you want to know how Jordan has fared lately, check out his Sherdog profile or Wikipedia page. He’s been pretty solid overall, as well as entertaining, since partaking in the worst fight of 2012. But I am not going to spend another line of this post not relaying the semi-related news about that yoga instructor who somehow made it onto TUF: China

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UFC 166 Aftermath: The Latest Emperor


(Cain Velasquez admires his violence on the big screen. / Photo via Getty)

Suddenly, the rivalry between heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos seems a little less competitive than was hoped for. Many observers were treating this fight as merely the latest engagement in a battle for the heavyweight crown that was to last for years ahead. Less a conclusion to a trilogy and more a precursor to a tetralogy or beyond, it was expected that this fight would see a more competitive affair showcasing the strengths of both men. That didn’t happen. Velasquez absolutely dominated Dos Santos, flooring him in the third before finishing him (sort of) in the fifth. It’s clear now that Cain Velasquez is the unstoppable force. Despite his unquestioned stature as the second best heavyweight in the UFC, Junior Dos Santos is not the immovable object.

Pace and pressure are amorphous terms reliant on context; it’s more difficult to conceive of these finishing a fight than something we can easily discern like a punch or kick. Yet it was the relentless forward motion and unending attack of Velasquez that led to the finish last night and the dominance that preceded it. Dos Santos had his moments; he landed a number of hard shots to open the first round, and landed a nice elbow against the cage to end the second. But other than that, it was all Cain. He didn’t dominate from bell to bell like he did in the second fight, but he wore down Dos Santos over the course of the first two rounds before capitalizing in the third. Velasquez floored Dos Santos with a counter overhand right, and almost finished the fight there; Herb Dean put his hand on Velasquez’ shoulder at one point, but reconsidered.

Things didn’t improve for Dos Santos afterwards, and in the fifth round he went for a desperation front choke. As Cain attempted successfully to escape, Dos Santos rolled, crashing his forehead on the mat. Either disoriented or utterly exhausted, Dos Santos could not continue and Velasquez secured the latest stoppage victory in UFC history. At the undisputed pinnacle of his weight class – the first heavyweight to truly claim this distinction since Fedor Emelianenko – it’s hard to imagine anyone toppling Velasquez soon. Daniel Cormier, who fought earlier in the evening, is his wrestling coach and is moving down to 205. Fabricio Werdum, his presumptive opponent, can submit anyone but will unlikely be able to take the fight to the ground against a wrestler of Cain’s caliber. A future rematch with Dos Santos is not inconceivable, but a different result is at this point. Despite his heart, his chin and his skills, it seems that Dos Santos is not destined to be the foil to Velasquez that we hoped he would be; Velasquez is the heavyweight division’s emperor.

Speaking of Daniel Cormier…

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UFC 166: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos 3 — Main Card Results & Commentary


(It’s a classic battle of “BROWN PRIDE” vs. “KIND OF SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY RECEDING HAIRLINE” / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com. Check out more UFC 166 weigh-in photos here.)

Appropriately, the UFC’s latest visit to the fattest city in America is loaded with heavyweight talent. In addition to the highly anticipated trilogy match between current champion Cain Velasquez and former champ Junior Dos Santos, UFC 166‘s main card will also feature Daniel Cormier‘s allegedly final appearance at HW against Roy Nelson, as well as Gabriel Gonzaga‘s punch-out with Shawn Jordan. On the lighter end of the scale, lightweight Gilbert Melendez looks for his first UFC win against Octagon veteran Diego Sanchez, and former flyweight title challenger John Dodson welcomes Darrell Montague to the promotion.

Handling play-by-play for the “Velasquez vs. Dos Santos 3″ PPV broadcast is our buddy Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say whatever you feel like saying in our lawless cesspool of a comments section. Thanks for being here.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 166: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos’ Edition

By Dan “Get Off Me” George and Jared Jones

This weekend, the be all end all title fight between Junior Dos Santos and Cain Velasquez is going down at UFC 166, so to ring in this special occasion, we’ve decided to switch things up for this edition of the Gambling Addiction Enabler. Not only will you be receiving the trusted, well-researched advice of Dan “Get Off Me” George, but additionally, CagePotato staff writer (and former GAE master-picker) Jared Jones will be jumping in to deliver the onslaught of gifs and contradictory advice that you all know and love.

Without further ado, let’s get to the fights in question…

Stay the Hell Away From:

Hector Lombard (-185) vs. Nate Marquardt (+155)

DG: This fight should be at pick’em odds — proposing either fighter as a clear favorite is simply reckless and ignorant of the fact that both fighters have been prone to shockingly inconsistent performances as of late. On any given night, these guys can end a fight in spectacular fashion. Does Nate “The Great” show up and fight the Lombard we saw against Okami and Boetsch, or does he meet the man they call Shango and fight like he did against Saffiedine and Ellenberger? I’ll tentatively pick Marquardt here.

JJ: Well, if it’s “reckless and ignorant” that you want, you’ve come to the right source. (*sets fully-loaded revolver on table and spins it*)

I’m surprised you neglected to mention that Lombard will be fighting at welterweight for the first time in his UFC career, in what is one of the most transparent “Dropping a weight class to save your career” bouts in MMA History. Also, Lombard’s weight cut is going so poorly that he’s already talking about moving back up to middleweight. He’s assuming, of course, that the UFC won’t sever their ties with someone as overpaid as him following this weekend, which is wishful thinking in my opinion. Lombard is basically Rousimar Palhares + striking and since Marquardt already beat Palhares, MMAMath predicts a dominant victory for Marquardt 9.9 times out of 10. Reckless? Yes. Ignorant? Yes.

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Barnburner/Do-or-Die Double-Feature Alert: UFC 166 Adds Gonzaga vs. Jordan, Noons vs. Sotiropoulos


(Nope. Not fuckin’ with that guy.)

By Alex Giardini

A potential heavyweight slugfest and a duel between two lightweights who need to get back to their winning ways have both been reported for UFC 166, taking place October 19th at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas.

Gabriel Gonzaga, fresh off of an obliteration of Dave Herman at UFC 162 earlier this month, meets “The Savage” Shawn Jordan in a fight sure to end with someone on the canvas before the end of the third round. Gonzaga, the man responsible for Mirko Cro Cop’s downfall — and we’ll never forgive him for it, that son-of-a-bitch — looks to keep climbing back into the title mix, six years after his unsuccessful challenge against Randy Couture back at UFC 74. This will be Gonzaga’s seventeenth appearance in the Octagon over the course of eight years.

Meanwhile, Jordan is riding a two-fight win streak with stoppages over Mike Russow and most recently fan-favorite Pat Barry at UFC 161 in Winnipeg (which took him one second short of a minute). Both men have a combined amount of 1:16 cage-time spent in their last Octagon outings. That’s just how heavyweights roll, my dudes.

Also on the card…

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UFC 161 Aftermath: Winnipeg is For Lovers


Photo via Tom Szczerbowski/USA TODAY Sports

By Elias Cepeda

UFC 161 had some good fights to watch and learn from but if you’re one of the folks who paid the $217.00 or so that UFC pay per views now go for, and if you were drunk (those who do the former are often the latter during bouts) you may have been a bit disappointed with the action. In the main event, Rashad Evans turned up the heat in the third round against Dan Henderson and earned a split decision win.

The fight was close, and fought in spurts, but Evans looked impressive in coming back from being knocked down in the first round and in tiring Hendo and working the former Olympic wrestler over in his own sweet spot – the clinch. Evans gets back on the winning track but looks a long way from being able to challenge champion Jon Jones as he says he wants to once more.

Henderson certainly did not embarrass himself – he never has – but for the second consecutive fight, the forty two year-old looked to be the weaker and slower fighter in losing a close decision. Maybe that has to do with his age, maybe it has to do with the fact that both fights occurred against top light heavyweights.

Put the hard-earned legend of Henderson aside for a moment and remember that the man is a middleweight that, for reasons of crazy ability and guts, fights light heavyweights and heavyweights. Henderson is no where near a title shot at this point, in any division. It will be interesting to see how much motivation he has to keep fighting without more gold in his reach.

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UFC 161: Evans vs. Henderson — Main Card Results and Commentary


(No shoving? No forehead bumping? No repeated demands that one fighter treat the other like a bitch? Come on guys, you gotta give us *something* here. / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

The UFC makes its first stop in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, tonight, and yes, the lineup is somewhat garbage-ass. That’s what happens when you lose your original main event and then your co-main event due to injuries. But the show must go on, and we’ll be here liveblogging the pay-per-view broadcast all night, whether you join us or not. (Please join us. Please?)

On the menu for this evening: Rashad Evans and Dan Henderson try to avoid the gaping chasm of irrelevance, Roy Nelson goes for his fourth-straight knockout against Stipe Miocic, and highly regarded women’s bantamweight prospects Alexis Davis and Rosi Sexton make their debuts against each other. Plus, Pat Barry might leg-kick Shawn Jordan to death, and Ryan Jimmo might do the robot. Fingers crossed.

Handling our play-by-play is Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results from the UFC 161 main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and throw in your own analysis in the comments section.

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CagePotato Databomb #10: Breaking Down the UFC Heavyweights by Striking Performance


(Click chart for full-size versionFor previous Databombs, click here.)

By Reed Kuhn, @Fightnomics

We’ve saved the biggest fighters for last in the striking assessment series. Heavyweights end 57% of fights by (T)KO, far more than any other weight class. They also have the highest average power head striking accuracy, possibly because defense is harder when you’re that big.

So let’s see how the whole division stacks up against each other, then look at the winners and losers in each category. A full explanation of the chart and variables is included at the end of this post.

THE WINNERS

Sniper Award: Relative newcomer Shawn Jordan has been a highly accurate striker to date, though he has lacked knockdown power. So let’s focus on the trio of Pat Barry, Dave Herman, and Mark Hunt, who each have four or more UFC appearances and have maintained power head striking accuracy of 38% or more. These are big guys who can also hit their target.

Energizer Bunny Award: Monstrous southpaw Todd Duffee has almost quadrupled the striking output of his opponents with three fights to date in the Octagon, none of which have gone the distance. But with far greater Octagon experience, veterans Cheick Kongo and former champion Junior Dos Santos have managed to almost double the volume of opponents, all while maintain accuracy well above the division average.

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