(Hey, it could have been worse, right? / Photo via Getty Images)

In an effort to beef up a card that recently lost a title fight due to injury, the UFC has just added a heavyweight bout between Roy Nelson and Stipe Miocic to the main card of UFC 161 (June 15th, Winnipeg). It’s an unexpected booking, to say the least — and not just because it gives Nelson a speedy seven-week turnaround between fights.

“Big Country” is currently on the hottest streak of his UFC career, picking up his third-straight first-round knockout against Cheick Kongo at UFC 159 last month. Meanwhile, Miocic is a much lower-profile prospect, whose hype as an undefeated wrecking machine fell apart when he was TKO’d by Stefan Struve last September. In other words, the matchup is a bit of a step down for Nelson, who doesn’t have much to gain here other than the possibility of earning his fifth UFC Knockout of the Night bonus.

In addition, Miocic was already booked on the card against returning Australian banger Soa Palelei, who has knocked out his last eight opponents while competing in Australia. (See, now that matchup made sense.) But with UFC 161 in need of extra star power, Roy Nelson replaces Palelei, who will be sitting this event out unless he’s needed as an injury replacement. But don’t cry for Soa — he once stood up Danga for an interview, so he’s pretty much dead to us. What, you thought Dana White was only guy who could hold grudges?

In a related story, MMAJunkie reports that UFC officials are currently seeking a replacement opponent for Eddie Wineland, and if they can lock one down, UFC 161 will feature six fights on the pay-per-view card instead of the usual five. The current lineup is after the jump…

(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.) 

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debut at UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world. 

(Palelei vs. McCorkle, as reenacted by The Incredible Hulk and the mythical God Loki, respectively. The actual video is after the jump, but this is basically what happened.) 

When we last checked in on Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle, he had just lost a cardio battle to an amorphous blob and vowed to retire from the sport if he ever gave such a pathetic showing again. Unfortunately for Sean, his next scheduled fight was against Soa “The Hulk” Palelei — a fellow UFC veteran who was far more dangerous than the tomato cans McCorkle has padded his record with over the years — at AFC 4 last weekend. Fortunately for Sean, his piss poor cardio had absolutely nothing to do with his downfall this time out, so at least he won’t have to go back on his word. It’s a small victory, sure, but one that most of us would probably cherish if we flew all the way to Australia to land roughly zero punches and get smashed through the canvas by Palelei’s megaton fists of fury like McCorkle did.

Video after the jump. 

(You mean to tell me that the guy lying face down in a pool of his own blood WAS ALIVE THE ENTIRE TIME?! No. F’ing. Way.) 

Not too long ago, it was announced that former UFC champions Andrei Arlovski and Jens Pulver had signed with Singapore-based upstart promotion OneFC, and were scheduled to compete on the August 31st scheduled ‘Pride of a Nation’ card against opponents that had yet to be named. Given the pair’s name power, not to mention their hard runs of luck as of late, it was assumed by most that they would likely be featured in a pair of squash matches to help build up their name (also, confidence) within the promotion. It now appears that we have severely underestimated the fellas at OneFC. Or overestimated, we’re not sure.

In either case, Arlovski has been booked to take on fellow UFC castaway and dangerous striker Soa Palelei, who is coming off a 12 second…we guess you’d call it beating, of Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp at CFC 21 in May. And although just a few years ago, a guy like Palelei would never even be mentioned in the same breath as “The Pit Bull”, we may very likely see him listed as the favorite heading into this matchup as it stands today. Palelei packs a wallop of a punch and Arlvoski’s off switch is easier to find than a dwarf among midgets, so expect “The Hulk” to let his fists go early and often in this one and Arlovski to crumble violently to the mat shortly thereafter. Let’s just hope that Arlovski has finally undergone that Tango and Cash jaw replacement surgery he always wanted, or he is going to get royally FUBAR’d in this one.

(Video props: YouTube/MMAVictor)

There’s nothing new about Bob Sapp losing a fight without dignity, but every week he seems to hone his craft as an MMA-Theatre master thespian. A typical Sapp fight consists of him lumbering in toward his opponent, waiting until he feels incidental contact, then feigning a tko until the ref halts the bout. Wash-Rinse-Repeat. But last night he may have sunk to a new low in his bout against Soa Palelei at Cage Fighting Championship 21.

Sapp starts off the bout by touching gloves –just like they do in *real* MMA bouts! Too cute!–then he ducks his head and charges meanders forward toward “The Hulk”. This is his opponent’s cue to tag him with something—anything–that could count as a landed blow and explain his fall to the canvas. To his surprise, Sapp makes it all the way to the opposite side of the cage with Palelei nowhere to be found. Stupefied, he does the only thing he knows how: he teeters over.

As a real fighter with real intentions of fighting, Palelei tries to partake in the ‘takedown’ but his help is completely unnecessary. Sapp is all too happy to let gravity ease his menacing frame down to the canvas. And so the Australian does his thing, pounding away at a turtled-up Sapp, while Sapp does his thing, turtling-up while getting pounded. Although this isn’t the first bout where Sapp has succumbed to a phantom punch, at least his previous opponents were somewhere in the general vicinity when he fell.

The new rules of the Bob Sapp Challenge™ await you after the jump.

(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.) 

As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.

But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.

And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.

Check out the video, along with the full contest details, after the jump. 

(Sapp’s most recent effort attempt ”showing” against James Thompson. How do you know it’s a Bob Sapp joint? Because the introductions are twice as long as the fight.) 

In the difficult economic times that we are currently experiencing, Bob Sapp’s continual ability to stay employed as a “fighter” is nothing short of inspiring. And by inspiring, we mean infuriating. The man has fought nine times in the past three years, totaling just over fifteen minutes of ring time. There is not a doubt in any of our minds that the time he spent training for those fights was less than half of that. He has lost all but one of those contests, and word has it that the one man he defeated committed Sepukku shortly thereafter. Yet he continues to get work. He lost his last fight by submission due to (fake) leg injury, and tapped out to approximately two punches thrown by a BJJ expert in the fight before that. Yet he continues to get work.

Perhaps it is a sign, like the popularity of Jersey Shore or Nicki Minaj, that our culture has truly done a 180 in terms of what we consider worthy of our attention. Where in days past, it was a person’s abilities that brought them into the public eye, it seems now more than ever that we as a society are fixated with people who lack any discernable talent whatsoever.

Bob Sapp is living, breathing proof of this phenomenon.

Thankfully, it looks as if Sapp may finally be forced to take on a fighter who could make him reconsider his line of work altogether; someone who could possibly knock Sapp out cold before he gets the chance to call it quits. That man is none other than UFC veteran Soa Palelei, who is scheduled to take on Sapp at Cage Fighting Championships 21 on April 20th.

If there is a God, he will not allow Bob Sapp to walk away from this fight completely intact.

(You got *lucky*, Soa!)

With such a volatile lineup, it was only a matter of time before names started dropping off Impact FC’s event in Sydney this weekend (which takes place Sunday afternoon local time, Saturday evening if you’re in North America). The first casualty is Bob Sapp, whose fight against Aussie UFC vet Soa Palelei has been canceled. So what the hell happened? Well…

Bob’s side of the story (via MMA Junkie): Sapp, who is currently in Bulgaria shooting that Conan the Barbarian remake, received an e-mail from Impact yesterday informing him that they wouldn’t fly him out to Sydney because the plane ticket would be too expensive. "Just like that," Sapp said. "We had all the paperwork completed." The Beast claims he had assembled a training camp in Bulgaria for the bout, and spent at least $10,000 on coaches, training partners, and living expenses. Sapp’s team plans to draft a formal letter to Impact FC asking for reimbursement of those expenses. If they don’t pay up, he’ll file a lawsuit. "I’m not going to allow anybody to screw me over," Sapp said.