(The infamous “he’s going to eat that spit” speech. Inspiring.)

The last time we devoted blog space to Ultimate Fighter coach Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz, some of you complained that we were applying a double-standard by encouraging his drunken antics and denouncing those of Jesse Taylor and Junie Browning. Fair enough, but what you have to remember is this: when a young, strong professional fighter gets drunk and violent, it’s called assault. When a crazy old man who goes by the name “Stankie” does it, it’s hilarious. Why? Because he’s old. The rules are different for old people. The rest of us just have to accept that.

It’s kind of like when you go to a family Thanksgiving and your racist grandfather makes a remark about “those thieving, hot-blooded Latins.” There’s no point in getting upset, and you know he’s just talking about Desi Arnaz anyway. So you do what any minimally functioning family does. You pass the potatoes and pretend it didn’t happen.

Today’s Stankie story comes yet again from Ryan Bader, who seems way more interested in telling these tales than any other cast member, God bless him. This time, it was our very own blogger, Efrain Escudero, who found himself pulled into the mysterious world that Stankie seems to inhabit all by himself:

Stanky had this thing with Efrian Escudero. He liked Efrian a lot but really wanted to spar him. Stanky always told him that he would kick his ass if they boxed. So one day we told Stanky his dreams were going to come true. Nogueira told him he could spar Efrian in straight boxing if he wore the chest/rib protector. They would spar in the ring, with full walkouts and the whole hooray. I would corner Efrian and the rest of the team would be behind Stanky. This made his day, if not year — well, probably decade.

Kyle overheard Stanky while he was hitting the speed bag warming up talking to himself. Stanky was muttering out loud to himself, “Stanky, one last hoorah. This is it, old chap! You’re back in the game! Back in the fire! Do this and you can finally put down the gloves.”

Read More ADD COMMENTS (662) DIGG THIS

(Big Nog puts it as gently as he can.)

Watching The Ultimate Fighter, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether it’s all clever editing that makes some people/teams look like the bad guys. But this extra footage from last night’s show has me thinking that no, Team Mir really is the evil team.

After the fight we see Jules Bruchez looking downtrodden while Vinny Magalhaes is asking, with regards to Octagon girl Arianny Celeste, “Can anybody get her number?” No, Vinny. Not anybody. Then we go inside each team’s locker room after the fight. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira tries to help Jules understand what the hell just happened to him, while Frank Mir jokes with Vinny and the gang about breaking Jules’ arm. You know, just for laughs.

I’m not saying that Team Mir are all bad people, but if this were an 80′s teen movie, I think we all know which team would be the mean-spirited bunch who gets their comeuppance in the end, and which would be the lovable losers with the hearts of gold who persevere despite the long odds. And can’t you just imagine Nogueira smiling and laughing his way through the training montage while a Bonnie Tyler song blares?

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

The Ultimate Fighter’s Rolando Delgado got his moment in the spotlight on last night’s show, taking on Junie Browning in a three-round split decision loss. In this exclusive Cage Potato interview, Delgado tells us what it was like to battle Lexington, Kentucky’s most outspoken representative, weighs in on Frank Mir and “Minotauro” Nogueira, and gives us a glimpse of what’s to come.

Now that you’ve seen the show and your fight, what are your thoughts?

Man, it’s painful to watch Frank Mir try and call me out on the show. I was definitely not looking forward to that, more than any other part of the show. Overall I thought it was a good show, it made for good TV. The fight was a fun fight. I definitely could have done better and Junie could have done better. You always have a lot of regrets when you don’t fight to your full potential. But overall it was a good experience.

So what’s the story with the black belt? How did that come up and how did it get to be such an issue? They just didn’t believe you really had a black belt?

Yeah, but I want to note that these were all guys who weren’t training with me. These were all blue team guys. I never trained with any of them. They didn’t interview anyone from my team. It was a little nerve-wracking. I’m not used to people questioning my integrity like that. It’s one thing if you say, ‘I don’t think you’re a good black belt.’ That’s a matter of opinion. But to say that I don’t have one, I thought that was very disrespectful.

Luckily I actually taped my black belt testing and it’s on Google Videos, so you can see it for yourself. I’m not someone who makes up stories and it’s not like I’ve just popped up on the scene. I’ve competed at every level. I competed as a blue belt in the late nineties, I did it as a purple belt, did it as a brown belt. I’ve done no-gi tournaments since I’ve gotten my black belt. I won NAGA twice. It’s not like I just popped on the scene.

Seeing Frank Mir question you and seeing him tell Junie to take you out, it kind of seemed like Frank had it out for you or thought you didn’t belong there. What did you make of that?

(‘Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Some have criticized this season of Spike TV’s The Ultimate Fighter by calling it “The Junie Browning Show.” That doesn’t seem to bother Browning, who says he’s happy as long as people are entertained. And let’s face it, we are.

On tonight’s episode Browning takes on Rolando Delgado, which he promises is “the best fight this season.” He also discusses some of his drunken antics, the response from his co-stars, and living up to the expectations of his hometown of Lexington, Kentucky. It all makes for an interesting conversation and a fitting interview for our one-year anniversary, since Browning says he reads Cage Potato “all the time.” Who the hell can blame him?

CagePotato.com: Now that you’ve seen a few episodes of the show, what do you think of how they’ve portrayed you?

I think it’s pretty much correct. They didn’t really edit me to look like an asshole. I did that myself. I think I would have liked if they played some of the clips of me goofing around with the guys, but it’s 100% asshole on the show.

What do you think was the correct percentage of asshole? 50%? 80%?

I’d say about 90% asshole. A lot of the stuff I was doing started off as playing around and went from there. Like me throwing peanuts at the guys and stuff, that started as just playing around, but people might not realize that and think I was just always being an asshole.

Is that how you are all the time, or was that just in that house and on that show?

I think it was the house and the combination of tequila and vodka. I’m not like that all the time. Back at home I’m not like that. I’ve never had to be carried out of a bar or anything like that. I think it’s just that place that turns you crazy.

Well what about when we see you getting drunk and out of control, then Dana White comes and gives you a talk and you’re almost kicked out, then a couple days later you’re sober and getting into it again with Efrain Escudero?

(Gono brings some much needed style to the weigh-ins. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Despite the best attempts of some jerks to ruin the results of tonight’s tape-delayed event, those of you who have managed to remain willfully ignorant will get to see it all unfold without the curse of omniscience that makes God’s days so utterly boring. Those of you who have had the outcome spoiled for you already, you’ll just get to see some fights. I’ve spent all afternoon trying to make sense of Michael Bisping’s video blog (turns out “geezer” means something different in England) and getting myself all riled up on coffee and booze, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Let’s turn on some Spike TV, see the same video game ads over and over again, down some frosty beverages, and watch some fights. Just thank your lucky stars it’s free. Remember to refresh the page every so often. Giddyup.

Michael Bisping’s UFC 89 Vlog – Watch more free videos

Here’s Michael Bisping‘s UFC 89 video blog from yesterday, following him through the weigh-ins and the aftermath. Since much of this video is just Bisping sitting around and talking with his British friends, I understood very little of what was going on. Still it seems interesting that Bisping does his own video blog for this event, is basically the impetus for the whole card and its location, and has already been named as the next TUF coach regardless of his performance tonight.

At least one fighter thinks all the attention is undeserved. In Sherdog’s “pros pick” article for this fight, Clay Guida not only sides with Chris Leben but calls Bisping “the most overrated TUF winner in UFC history.” Daaaaaamn!

With one day to go before UFC 89 (which we’ll be liveblogging, naturally), it’s time for everyone’s favorite self-indulgent exercise: Ben versus Ben. This time around we argue bonuses, the UK-centric undercard, and the mysterious/as-of-yet fictional Millerplata, among other stuff.

How exactly will Bisping/Leben end?

Fowlkes: As much as we’ve heard about Leben’s transformation from immature brawler to well-rounded tactician, a part of me (the part located in the brain region) isn’t totally buying it. Leben may be a more seasoned fighter, but he still knows one way to win a fight when things get hectic and it’s throwing big, looping bombs and hoping one catches his opponent on the chin.

This has worked at times. He hits hard and he can take enough punishment to make that strategy effective. But as strategies go, it’s relatively easy to prepare for, especially for a more cerebral fighter like Bisping. “The Count” is smart enough to avoid a street fight with Leben. He’ll accumulate points and damage but won’t dive in for the illusion of a quick finish, and this will frustrate Leben.

Leben knows he doesn’t want to go to a decision against a Brit in Britain, so the closer to the final horn he gets the more desperate he will become. This is where Bisping will find an opening, drop him with a straight shot, then pour on some ground-and-pound that looks worse than it is, causing the referee to stop it at 4:02 of round three. And Leben is going to be pissed.

Goldstein: I concur. Bisping is a more talented, complete fighter than Leben, and this business about the Crippler maturing is more manufactured narrative than reality. But I don’t think it’ll take Bisping until the third frame to get the stoppage win. As a middleweight, his kickboxing has looked razor-sharp — his last two opponents didn’t make it to the second bell — and his ground capabilities are underrated in general.

The headliners will give the crowd what they paid for in round one, slugging it out like a couple of drunken soccer hooligans, and Bisping will go about finishing the fight in round two, engaging the killer instinct that we’ve seen from him lately. If Leben starts to land more shots in that second round, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bisping clinch with Leben, bully him to the ground and finish him from the top. Either way, it’ll be a stoppage due to strikes at exactly the 4:15 mark of round two.

Who will win the Vera/Jardine and Sokoudjou/Cane fights?

(The glory before the fall. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

TUF 8 lightweight Shane Nelson was eliminated from competition on last night’s “Ultimate Fighter,” but not before a night of drinking with Junie Allen Browning turned into a near expulsion for the two. Now Nelson talks with CagePotato.com and reflects on the drunken debauchery, the rivalry with Efrain Escudero, and some of the antics of his blonde friend that he saw for the first time in last night’s episode.

CagePotato: Now that you’ve seen it on TV, what did you think of the way the situation with you and Junie was portrayed? Was that how you remember it?

Nelson: Yeah, it was pretty much what it seems on TV. Basically we were watching the pay-per-view, we decided to have a couple of drinks, we had one too many drinks, and then things got out of control from there. What they didn’t show and which I thought they would show, was the next morning when I woke up I went to Delgado and Efrain and I apologized to them and we all put everything behind us. I’m surprised that they left that part out of the show.

Did Dana White come and talk to you guys the very next night after it happened?

Yeah, Dana White came and talked to us the very next night, but the fight wasn’t the next day after Dana talked to us. The fight was about five days after that whole night. So it wasn’t like the drinking still had an effect on me in the fight.

What was going through your mind when Dana showed up?

Oh, we thought we were gone. Junie and I both thought we were getting kicked off the show, because when we first got there the producers stressed that we weren’t allowed to touch anyone or anything like that, and we both crossed that line. I pushed two people and Junie took a swing at a few people, so we both thought we were going home for sure.

So how did things start between you and Efrain?

Well, we were watching the fights and, I’m from B.J. [Penn]’s school, and they all knew that. So we were watching the pay-per-view and common courtesy, you know, if you make comments about my coach, you know it’s going to bother me. He was cheering for Sean Sherk, which is fine, but some of the comments he made while he was cheering for him got under my skin and that’s how me and him got into it.

MMA Rated is floating the rumor that UFC 93 from Dublin, Ireland will be shown on a delayed free broadcast on Spike TV on January 17. This makes sense when you consider the UFC’s increasingly consistent practice of using UK cards on Spike as a way to pump up forthcoming pay-per-views, such as they’re doing later this month with UFC 89 airing for free from England just a week before UFC 90 in Chicago, which you’re going to have to pay for.

The only thing that might make us wonder if we won’t end up paying $45 for this one is the fact that the main event for 93 is slated to be a light heavyweight clash between Dan Henderson and Rich Franklin. The card is also said to include Mark Coleman and “Shogun” Rua reprising their meeting in Pride, hopefully this time without the freakish injury and ensuing Hammer House-Chute Boxe brawl (Okay, they can brawl again, but only if they have another uncomfortable “apology” backstage afterwards).

Oddly, January 17 is also the date that Affliction was originally rumored to be considering for their second show. That’s before Tom Atencio said they had no date and admitted he wanted no part of any direct competition with the UFC, which is perfectly understandable. A free show of that magnitude on the same night would have really put Affliction in a bind, but as of right now it looks like they’ll squeak in between the free show from Dublin and a January 31 pay-per-view with (God willing) a Georges St. Pierre-BJ Penn superfight main event.

If this all holds true, UFC 93 might be the best UFC event in a very long time to air for free. And yes, I know Spike TV isn’t technically free since it’s on cable, but come on. You have internet access but no cable? Dude, you gotta move out of your mom’s house.

(‘Hey Hollywood. Fuck you.’)

Apparently running the world’s most successful MMA organization leaves UFC president Dana White with a lot of free time. Just when things are going great for him in the fight biz, White has decided to try his hand at producing a TV show that is not about MMA or even about the dashing, bald president of an MMA organization. No, my friends, this is a scripted drama about the Irish mob.

According to the Hollywood Reporter the “untitled project” is about the violent fallout when a Boston mob boss abdicates his position and rival factions struggle for control in a bloody war.

Okay, that does sound like it has the potential to be good. But I liked it the first time I saw it when it was called King Lear and it was written by a guy name of Bill Shakespeare. I even liked it the second time when it was done by Akira Kurosawa and it was called Ran. But whatever. I’m sure Dana White is every bit the dramatist those guys are.

The script is being penned by Chris Bertolini, who wrote “The General’s Daughter,” so at least someone knows what he’s doing here. It’s just a good thing Dana White wasn’t on hand for that project, or else John Travolta might have had to listen to more than one ‘do you want to be a fucking actor?’ speech over the course of the filming.

As far as what we should expect from the show, White says:

“I know who I’m catering to, and that’s 18- to 34-year-old males who are the ones watching Spike TV,” he said. “We’re going to push the limits on this show, like ‘Nip/Tuck’ and ‘The Shield’ — violence, sex, bad language. We’re going to see how big Spike’s balls are on this one.”

Spike is the same network that airs the hopelessly stupid Manswers. So the size of their balls is a question that has already been, shall we say, manswered.

(Props: MMA Payout)

(‘Come on, you pussies and posers!’)

Listen up middleweights and welterweights. Have you always wanted to be on reality TV, but you keep getting rejected from Rock of Love? Do you possess awesome MMA skillz or, failing that, a willingness to take a beating from those who do? Do you have an inspiring personal story? How about a drinking problem? If you answered yes to at least a couple of these questions, and you can pass for either an American or a Brit, you could be on the next season of Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter.”

Two open casting calls will help determine next season’s participants, Spike TV announced today. The first is in London on October 20 at the Earls Court Exhibition Centre, and the other is in Chicago at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O’Hare Hotel on October 27.

Since this season will be all about the across-the-pond rivalry, it might be a good idea to come up with a story about how much you hate Americans/Brits. It shouldn’t be too difficult to think of a reason, no matter which one you happen to be.

One thing to keep in mind, contestants will once more be forced to fight their way onto the show. That should come as no surprise at this point, but we’re betting there will still be at least one joker who shows up twenty pounds overweight anyway. If you play your cards right, this season that joker could be you!

- Michael Bisping has some kind words for Chris Leben in the above ESPN interview, calling the UFC 89 bout his toughest challenge to date.

- Frank Mir astutely summed up what it was like to fight Brock Lesnar, telling Sherdog the experience was “like getting hit by a car that’s moving very slowly and you can’t get out of the way. It bumps and knocks you over and is just overwhelmingly powerful. …I didn’t know where he was half the time. It really felt like I was underwater and somebody was beating the s—-t out of me. I was just drowning under him.” Check out MMA’s undisputed champ of metaphors.

- Sounds like we can forget about seeing Wanderlei Silva-Rampage Jackson tacked on to the UFC 91 card. Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole says it’s more likely that fight will appear on a Super Bowl weekend card, but almost certainly won’t happen in 2008. At least it will give Rampage more time to sort out his legal problems and get comfortable with his new team.

- TUF 6′s Ben Saunders will take on Brandon Wolff at the UFC’s Dec. 10 event for the troops at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. This is the fight that War Machine turned down, right around the same time he made idiotic comments about Evan Tanner. Saunders kept his mouth shut and agreed to fight whoever the UFC asked him to. Guess who still has a job.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

The BF half of the Cage Potato duo is in Omaha for tonight’s Ultimate Fight Night event. If you’re headed to the Civic Auditorium later this afternoon for the event, keep an eye out for the handsome devil with the laptop. I’ll be sitting behind that guy, scribbling my thoughts on a wax tablet. What? I just think all this new technology is a fad. It’ll blow over.

But if you can’t get to the fights tonight but want to find a way to make yourself sweat over the results anyway, allow me to suggest gambling. BestFightOdds.com has compiled all the lines for tonight’s event, and here’s what it’s looking like at the moment:

Nathan Diaz (-200) vs. Josh Neer (+200)
Clay Guida (-121) vs. Mac Danzig (+125)
Houston Alexander (-212) vs. Eric Schafer (+215)
Ed Herman (-220) vs. Alan Belcher (+215)
Joe Lauzon (-675) vs. Kyle Bradley (+500)
Drew McFedries (-200) vs. Mike Massenzio (+210)
Wilson Gouveia (-350) vs. Ryan Jensen (+326)
Alessio Sakara (-115) vs. Joe Vedepo (+128)
Jason Brilz (-209) vs. Brad Morris (+215)
Dan Miller (-110) vs. Rob Kimmons (+105)

Some thoughts…

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Ah, beautiful Omaha, Nebraska. Where any mention of the Cornhuskers is enough to work a crowd into a frenzy. I just returned from the Ultimate Fight Night 15 weigh-in, which was fairly uneventful except for the odd fact that every single fighter weighed in precisely on the mark. Every middleweight hit 185 on the button. Every lightweight, 155 exactly. You get the picture. It was eerie. Makes you wonder if the athletic commission here isn’t just phoning it in. One guy who seemed a bit nervous about the whole thing was Clay Guida, who stepped on the scale as if he were trying to sneak up on it. Maybe his brother’s troubles have him worried.

But the most interesting thing to happen at the weigh-in had nothing to do with the fighters on Wednesday night’s card. Before things got underway, Matt Hughes answered questions from the fans who arrived early. He talked at length about how good Robbie Lawler is, how he wouldn’t advise Lawler to fight Anderson Silva, but would like to see him face Georges St. Pierre, whose stand-up game is not as good as Lawler’s, according to Hughes.

“I know I want to see that fight,” he said. “I wouldn’t even want to corner Robbie. I’d just want to sit on the side and watch.”

But then, when the Q&A session was over, Hughes asked for a couple extra minutes on the mic. He said that he often gets asked about his most memorable story in the fight game, and then proceeded to share, unprompted, a tale from his “pre-Christian” days.

It seems Hughes was down in New Orleans and on Bourbon Street with Pat Miletich and some of the boys after a fight. He and Miletich got into a drinking contest, chugging beers out on the street with both fists. They had just finished slamming a couple and were walking down the street when Miletich stopped and bent over to puke in the street. Then he walked a couple steps, puked some more, then kept going, stopped, and puked some more. At some point, Miletich looked over at Hughes and pointed to the gaping space where his false teeth should be. Pat Miletich, MMA great, had just realized that he puked out his false teeth.

So what did he do? He walked back and sifted through each pile of vomit until he found them. And when he found them? He poured beer on them, put them back in his mouth, and kept going.

If you still care about the official weigh-in results after that, they’re after the jump:

(‘I came to chew bubblegum and represent the 209. I am all out of bubblegum.’)

No one can see the future, but as long as we’re going to speculate as to how things will turn out in Omaha on Wednesday (and let’s face it, we are), we might as well go all the way with predictions so specific they can’t possible come true….or can they?

Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer

Despite his impressive performances since coming off “The Ultimate Fighter,” the UFC doesn’t seem interested in moving Diaz up in competition. Instead they move him laterally, pitting him against the journeyman Neer, who Nate’s big bro already beat. It’ll be no easy task for Diaz to top his double-birdie performance against Kurt Pellegrino, but he’s a showman. Diaz will get bullied around the Octagon by Neer early on, but at some point he’ll remember he’s the better submissions fighter. The thought will dawn on him all at once and he’ll jump on Neer’s back, lock in a standing rear-naked choke, and extend his middle fingers on either side of Neer’s head as he submits.

When will it happen: 3:17, round two.

What to watch for: the look on Joe Rogan’s face when he has to interview Diaz after the bout and ask him to talk us through the Bud Light replay. What isn’t bleeped out will be completely unintelligible.

Mac Danzig vs. Clay Guida

This is the kind of fight worth getting excited about. The stoic, cerebral Danzig takes on Enkidu, the wild man of the woods (officially known as Clay Guida). It’s the classic highly-technical vegan vs. tough-but-crazy caveman battle. Danzig will start overly cautious and be initially overwhelmed as Guida wades into him with reckless abandon. But as the fight wears on Danzig will start to figure things out, striking and circling and wearing Guida out with knees to the body. Then Guida will freak out, charging right into a triangle choke, and his face will be blocked by his hair as it changes colors before he finally consents to tap.

When will it happen: 2:03, round three.

What to watch for: Guida’s brother, who failed to make weight for his first “Ultimate Fighter” bout and was reportedly kicked off the show for it, will appear on camera at some point looking sad and not eating.

Former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner has been found dead in the Palo Verde mountain area of the southern California desert. The news was confirmed with Tanner’s manager, John Hayner, who said he learned just an hour ago that the body found was indeed Tanner. He was thirty-seven years old.

“He was in a real positive state of mind, he wasn’t having any drinking problems or any of those types of problems. He was really feeling good about his life,” Hayner told CagePotato.com.

Hayner said that Tanner had gone into the desert on a motorcycle expedition and had run out of gas. Tanner was attempting to walk out of the desert, Hayner said, but apparently didn’t realize how far away from civilization he was and died of exposure in the triple-digit heat. Tanner’s empty campsite was spotted Sunday, and an aerial search located his body earlier this afternoon.

A post written by Tanner on his Spike TV blog told of his planning for the trip, and emphasized his desire to bring only essentials in his escape to the solitude of the desert:

I’ve been gathering my gear for this adventure for over a month, not a long time by most standards, but far too long for my impatient nature. Being a minimalist by nature, wanting to carry only the essentials, and being extremely particular, it has been a little difficult to find just the right equipment. I plan on going so deep into the desert, that any failure of my equipment, could cost me my life. I’ve been doing a great deal of research and study. I want to know all I can about where I’m going, and I want to make sure I have the best equipment.

Hayner told of a man who “marched to a beat only he could hear,” but maintained a positive outlook on life.

“Here was a famous UFC fighter who didn’t have enough food to eat at times. I’d call him just to make sure he had food in his fridge, but he never let it get him down. Starting over was kind of a theme in his life. He hardly ever lived in the same place more than six months,” Hayner said. “He moved out to Vegas and then found it too shallow for him, so he moved out to Oceanside and had a great place, he was learning to surf, and he was really enjoying his day-to-day life.”

(Say what?!)

Oh, “Mayhem” Miller. You so crazy. You manage to turn what would normally be a boring blog post about a bad haircut into a saga of misadventure. We can only imagine what it must be like to be you on a full-time basis.

Miller’s recent blog entry diverges into a blend of social commentary and possible mental illness when he wanders into a barber shop and begins battling it out with the voices in his head:

“This place looks legit.” I thought, in the way that schizophrenics hear in stereo. “It has a rotating pole, a cruddy sign with the owners name on it, and smells like chemicals,” the voice in my head then paused to let me enter. Inside was a cute black chick about my age and an older black dude, kinda pudgy and wearing fubu or something else unfashionable. The chocolate bunny mustve had something better to do, so she left the moment I looked like I was staying.

“Its an older black dude, and you want a short haircut, perfect, they always know how to hook it up” my brain said but then retorted “that’s fucking racist dude, you’re judging his haircutting on his skin tone- ‘haircut profiling’ if you will.” The voice came back again, “yes, yes I am but I am just drawing from my experience, and how many good short haircuts have we got from older black dudes, as compared to the child molester/Nicholas Cage looking guy on melrose?” Touche’ voice 1, touche’.

“Have a seat. I can take ya now.” Pudgey Older Black Man says, “What can I do for you?” in a tone that was nice enough. “Trim it up man. I want to get it faded down to the skin, maybe keep some of the top.” (For future installments of the strip of doom.) I guess I shouldn’t have said the word “skin” because that is all he heard and before I could look up I had half a bowl-cut. “Aw damn, man.. I, aw..”

You know, I never thought about it before, but Nicolas Cage does look an awful lot like a child molester. Well put, “Mayhem.”

(Admit it, the camera loves him.)

It’s almost time again for everyone’s favorite MMA-themed reality show, Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter.” A lot of you were disappointed to hear that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir would be coaching this edition, but does that mean you’ll follow through on your empty threats not to watch when the show premieres on September 17?

Season eight is all about the lightweights and light heavyweights, and the official cast was announced today by Sports Illustrated. Yours truly even has an article about what to expect and what to watch for this time around, which you can read and then send me a hateful email about here. As for the cast list, feast your eyes:

LIGHTWEIGHT

Jose Aguilar
Age: 25
MMA Record: 17-3-0
Trains With: Grapplers Edge
Location: Las Cruces, N.M.

Fernando Bernstein
Age: 25
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Progressive Martial Arts
Location: San Clemente, Calif.

Junie Allen Browning
Age: 22
MMA Record: 2-0-0
Trains With: Four Seasons Martial Arts
Location: Lexington, Ky.

Read More ADD COMMENTS (46) DIGG THIS

Never one to miss an opportunity, Dana White announced during last night’s re-broadcast of UFC 84 that UFC 89 will be broadcast for free on Spike TV. The announcement coincided with Elite XC’s Saturday Night Fights presentation on CBS, but we assume that was just a coincidence.

UFC 89 features Michael Bisping and Chris Leben from Birmingham, England on October 18. It also features Thiago Silva and Lyoto Machida. And not a whole lot else at this point. A pay-per-view from England is already a dicey prospect because of the time difference, and the lack of overall star power on the card makes free TV a much better choice.

Keep an eye out during UFC 87 in August, as we expect Elite XC’s Doug DeLuca to get on TV and announce that he is going out for ice cream, and you’re welcome to come along.

(Get ready for war, kind of.)

With Elite XC’s next CBS show planned for July 26, the UFC is once again putting on its counter-programming hat (which one assumes looks a lot like a viking helmet) to try and screw with their ratings. So what is it this time? Anderson Silva fighting a pack of wolves live on Spike TV? The debut of the long-awaited Chuck Liddell-Girl Scout Troop 104 sex tape?

Not quite. Try a rebroadcast of UFC 84: Ill Will, featuring B.J. Penn and Sean Sherk. Spike TV will be running it all night, beginning at 9 pm EST, to be preceded at 4 pm by a rebroadcast of the Silva vs. Irvin Fight Night from a week before, just in time to match main events with the Showtime portion of the Elite XC card, which begins at 8 pm.

Oh, the indignity.

Realistically, the UFC couldn’t be expected to do much more than this just one week after their frantically thrown together anti-Affliction show, but it’s still got to sting a bit to know the UFC thinks reruns are all it takes to draw attention away from your live event on network TV.

Five Ounces of Pain is reporting that Dana White has his own network deal close to finalized. While we’ve all heard this siren’s song before, this time there’s a time frame involved:

“We’re real close to a network,” said Dana White, “I’m going to say in three months.”

As for which network, the smart money’s on Fox, though we’ll believe it when we see it. We’ve been burned too many times before and we just don’t know if we can go through that hurt again.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle. Check out the full album.)

You watched a lot of reality TV and sat through the lame TUF theme song countless times just to get to this point. Now we finally get to discover who is The Ultimate Fighter…by watching the rematch of a fight from the tournament semifinals.

Okay, so that part may be anti-climactic, but there’s a whole lot of other action on tonight’s fight card, including the always fun loser-gets-fired match between Kendall Grove and Evan Tanner. The Cage Potato liveblog starts at 9 pm EST. Remember to hit refresh so you can get the most updated acerbic wit possible.

So, you’re not all that excited about seeing Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir coach season eight of “The Ultimate Fighter”, you say? Think it’s going to be just another plodding season of the same crap over and over again? Well, hold on to your butts, MMA fans, because Big Nog is turning up the heat!

From a recent interview with Graciemag.com:

“The mood of rivalry between us is getting strong. We see each other here all the time, and I’ve known his game for awhile. Ever since he submitted Roberto Traven at the UFC, in 2001, he’s been known. But you’ll see: I’m going to be all over him standing, I’m better than him both standing and on the ground.

“In the fight with Sylvia the way to the win was clearly on the ground, but against Mir I’m going to show more of what I’m capable of to the world and my fans. I’ll always respect him as an adversary, of course. Even more so since he’s trained with Demian Maia and Robert Drysdale.”

Boo-yah! You hear that? The rivalry is getting strong! You know, still respectful and professional between both men who will each try and do their best as sportsmen, but a strong rivalry nonetheless! Take that, Ken and Tito. Now you’re all pumped up, right? Right? Guys?

(Props: MMA Mania)