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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: sportsbook

(Mis)Adventures in Vegas: UFC 94 Scene Report


(Just try and ignore it, passing motorists.)

Today is my lucky day, Potato Nation.  Here I am in Vegas for UFC 94, and it’s the grand opening of the Tito Ortiz Punishment MMA Store.  What are the odds!?  Even better, the store is conveniently located inside the Hooters Hotel and Casino across from the MGM Grand, where the fights will take place tomorrow night, so naturally I had to drop in and see what kind of sweet Team Punishment gear I could pick up.

A sign informed me that Justin “The Insane 1” McCully and Tiki Ghosn would be signing autographs tomorrow afternoon, thus completing what is perhaps MMA’s greatest D-list event.

The store itself is tiny, and filled with exactly the kinds of clothes you’d expect.  Almost every t-shirt featured either a fist or chains, sometimes a combination of both.  Despite today being the grand opening, however, I was the only person in the store.  Well, aside from the three teenage girls working there, who were all fairly brimming with excitement (see below).

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 89

Michael Bisping
(Bisping challenges another poor bloke to high-stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors.)

As our collective faith in the health of the economy deteriorates, the online gambling market is looking better and better. The more I think about it, the more I’m surprised it didn’t come up in last night’s debates. But once again neither candidate speaks to my issues. Looks like this is one more election year where I’ll end up scrawling “Wanderlei” in crayon across my ballot and then handing it to the overweight woman at the desk, who will inevitably respond by insisting that “this is not a polling place.” Goddamn bureaucracy.

Anyway, if you’re like me and are ready to bet your foreclosed home on UFC 89 this Saturday, here are the sweetest lines around, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com. If you don’t understand how betting odds work, read this. If you still don’t get it, stop sniffing glue.

Chris Leben (+191) vs. Michael Bisping (-211)
Luiz Cane (+104) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (-114)
Dan Hardy (+285) vs. Akihiro Gono (-308)
Neil Wann (+600) vs. Shane Carwin (-675)
Keith Jardine (+155) vs. Brandon Vera (-165)
Jess Liaudin (+141) vs. David Bielkheden (-135)
Marcus Davis (+230) vs. Paul Kelly (+285)
Paul Taylor (+300) vs. Chris Lytle (-328)
Samy Schiavo (+166) vs. Per Eklund (-180)
Terry Etim (+275) vs. Sam Stout (-291)
David Baron (+155) vs. Jim Miller (-172)

Thoughts…

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BetUS.com Presents: MMA Betting for ‘Tards

Matt Hughes Thiago Alves UFC MMA
(Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Nothing amps up the drama of watching a sporting event like knowing you have a little extra riding on the outcome. UFC 85 is tomorrow, and for me, that “little extra” is the possibility that I’ll be hard-barfing afterwards. For the rest of you, it might be throwing a few 20-spots down on your favorite fighters. If you still have some disposable mad-money left from your economic stimulus check, why not open an account at BetUS.com? And if you don’t know the first thing about what to do when you’re there, read on…

***

Let me first begin by saying thanks to the Bens for allowing me to take time away from eating the souls of virgin gypsy orphans to come on here and try to corrupt the minds of the Cage Taters.

For those of you who are too damn lazy to know who I am, my name is Damon Durante, and I’m the host of BetUS Sports Radio, a series of sports betting-related podcasts. To review: BetUS.com is a sportsbook, I am their radio host.

I cover pretty much every sport you can bet on, but I’ll let you know that football is pretty much the Cat’s Cotton Pajamas around here and is essentially 90% of what we do. I friggin’ love all sports, but MMA is my secret mistress.

I have made it my personal goal to bring MMA as far to the forefront of sports wagering as I can; football might pay the bills, but MMA burns deep in my loins, to which the only soothing balm is more MMA. (There have obviously been others in my industry attempting to capitalize on the popularity of MMA using different tactics, but through sheer lameness they ended up sucking donkey pouch.)

Unfortunately the newness of mixed martial arts as a whole contributes to the betting naivety of most people. I mean we’ve all seen football point spreads since we were kids, but the appearance of money lines for MMA fighters is still seemingly non-existent. Without a doubt the #1 question I get asked is “What the #%*$ does ‘minus 200′ mean?”

That’s why I’m writing this bad boy; to turn you all into degenerate gambling bastards.

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