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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: squash match

In Which We Discuss Urijah Faber vs. Yuri Alcantara, The Head-Scratchingest Matchup of 2013


(CagePotato was sent, anonymously, this picture with this not-so-subtle note attached, “Dear CagePotato, This is Yuri Alcantara.” Photo via MMAWeekly.)  

You might not know this, Potato Nation, but last week it was announced that the already stacked UFC on Fox Sports 1 card picked up another big name in the form of Urijah Faber, the former WEC kingpin and much-beloved UFC bantamweight title challenger. All the major MMA media outlets reported his booking on the August 17th-scheduled card, yet next to no one seemed to be discussing it. You might be asking yourself, “How could one of the WEC’s biggest stars (if not the biggest) — a former title challenger, TUF coach, and ambitious entrepreneur who has his own honorary day in Sacramento — be so unjustly overlooked on such a monumental card?”

The answer is simple: Nobody, including Faber himself, has the slightest idea who his opponent is, or why the fight was booked in the first place.

We are speaking of Yuri Alcantara, the one-fight WEC and five-fight UFC veteran who, even in light of this fight booking, is all but completely unknown by many of the sports casual fans. Hell, even the diehards would probably have to consult Sherdog before pretending to know who Alcantara is. We’re talking about a guy whose most notorious UFC moment came when his opponent faked an injury at UFC on FX 7 and screwed him out of a victory for crying out loud. So he scores a quick KO over a UFC noob last month and suddenly he’s ready for a fighter of Faber’s caliber? Bitch, meet please.

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Lamb to the Slaughter: Daniel Cormier Opens as an Astonishing -2000 Favorite Over Dion Staring


(Cormier, seen here after placing his life savings on Staring while wearing his lucky spandex.) 

Well, it’s official, Strikeforce is planning to go out with a bang, and by “a bang” we mean “a public execution.” From the very first moment they announced that newly appointed heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier would be facing complete unknown Dion Staring in a non-title affair, we knew that the odds would be astronomically in Cormier’s favor, but -2000?!! MMAFighting’s Shaun Al-Shatti first broke the news via his Twitter:

Wow. Daniel Cormier opens as a -2000, I repeat, -2000 favorite over Dion Staring. Not quite the same as Frank Mir, is it?

This begs one to ask: Is Staring coming into this fight following a recent amputation? He’s a no-namer, sure, but the man also sports a 28-7 record compared to Cormier’s 10-0. Sure, Cormier’s fought a far higher level of opponents in those 10 fights, but at these odds, Staring has a better chance of knocking himself unconscious in the sauna than he does of beating Cormier. Hell, I have a better chance of knocking out Cormier in the sauna then this poor bastard does.

For a little perspective, consider this: Anderson Silva — that would be ten time defending UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva – was favored at around -1350 over Stephan Bonnar. The highest discrepancy in Strikeforce history came when Cris Cyborg fought Jan Finney at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, which also topped out around -2000. The highest discrepancy in MMA history (to my knowledge) came when Antonio Rogerio Nogueria fought Sokoudjou at Pride 33 (-2500) — a fight the former ended up losing, by the way.

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Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

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[VIDEO] Stephan Bonnar Details His Gameplan to Beat Anderson Silva and It Is a Doozy


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

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