regret gifs
15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: squash matches

Anthony Johnson vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira Booked for UFC on FOX 12


(Photo via Getty)

Fresh off his three-round domination of Phil Davis at UFC 172, light-heavyweight contender/inspirational comeback story Anthony Johnson has been booked to return to the Octagon on July 26th at UFC on FOX 12: San Jose vs. Stockton, Bitch (tentative title). As first reported by FOX Sports, Johnson will face Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, one of the most frequently injured fighters currently “active” in the UFC.

Lil’ Nog has only fought twice since his decision loss to Phil Davis in March 2011, TKO’ing Tito Ortiz at UFC 140, and out-pointing Rashad Evans at UFC 156 in February 2013. He’s been sidelined since then due to a back injury.

The matchup seems tailor-made to give “Rumble” another high-profile win before he’s launched into title contention. Or, to put it another way: This looks like a damn squash match. Sure, anything can happen in an MMA fight, but when you put one of the UFC’s most powerful 205-pound contenders up against a guy whose body has been steadily disintegrating before our eyes, it’s pretty obvious what the promotion would like to see happen here.

No other fights have been booked for UFC on FOX 12, which will take place at San Jose’s SAP Center.

Read More DIGG THIS

Scratch That — Daniel Cormier Will Compete at UFC 170, Against 4-0 Prospect Patrick Cummins


(Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Durkin? What does that even mean? / Photo via MMAJunkie)

When Rashad Evans pulled out of his scheduled UFC 170 match against Daniel Cormier, Cormier was devastated. “I don’t want this work to be for nothing,” he told Ariel Helwani. “I’ve killed myself in this gym. I’ve spent ten weeks away from my family…I’d fight Chael in a heartbeat. I’d fight Anthony Johnson in a heartbeat. I’d fight any of those guys. There’s somebody out there who wants to fight. Line ‘em up…I just want to fight now.”

And so, in an apparent move to keep him happy, the UFC has allowed Cormier to remain on the February 22nd “Rousey vs. McMann” lineup. No, he won’t be fighting Chael Sonnen, or Rumble Johnson, or anybody else you’ve heard of. Instead, Cormier will fight 4-0 light-heavyweight prospect Patrick Cummins, who will be making his Octagon debut.

A former two-time All American wrestler for Penn State, Cummins trains out of Mark Munoz’s Reign MMA gym in Orange County, and he’s finished all four of his pro fights in the first round. Cormier, of course, is one of the greatest MMA fighters in the world. Be sure to tune in, folks, because you might not see a bigger squash match all year. Seriously, how in the hell did the Nevada State Athletic Commission approve this friggin’ thing? KEITH, GET BACK HERE!

Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. Not that Cormier vs. Cummins is going to jack up the buyrate for this zombie card, but at least the entire show won’t rest on Ronda Rousey‘s shoulders now. Your thoughts?

Read More DIGG THIS

UFC Gambling Odds: Every Title Fight Currently Scheduled for 2014 Is Basically a Squash Match


(Photo via Getty)

The betting line for Renan Barao vs. Urijah Faber has been released, with Barao nearly a 3-1 favorite to defend his bantamweight title at UFC 169 next month. That’s unsurprising, considering that Faber is coming into the fight on less than a month’s notice and already has a loss to Barao on his record. What’s interesting is that every other title fight that the UFC currently has scheduled in 2014 is an even bigger mismatch, in terms of gambling odds. Take a look at the numbers below, via BestFightOdds

UFC 169, February 1st
Renan Barao (-280) vs. Urijah Faber (+220)
Jose Aldo (-624) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+501)

UFC 170, February 22nd
Ronda Rousey (-400) vs. Sara McMann (+318)

UFC 171, March 15th
Johny Hendricks (-387) vs. Robbie Lawler (+323)

UFC 172, April 12th
Jon Jones (-600) vs. Glover Teixeira (+495)

In fact, the only UFC title fight with a slightly closer better line than Barao vs. Faber is Chris Weidman (-255) vs. Vitor Belfort (+195), which hasn’t been tied to a specific event yet. So, which longshot is worth sticking money on? Considering that Lawler and Belfort have the power to change a fight with a single punch/kick, I could think of stupider ways to blow my money than putting small action on those dudes. Your thoughts?

Fun fact: A $2 parlay bet on all six underdogs listed above would net you a hypothetical profit of $11,935.41. Just sayin’.

Read More DIGG THIS

Squash Match Alert: Holly Holm’s Next Victim Will Be a 40-Year-Old Woman With a .500 Record


(Yet another tragic defeat for the Zulu family. / Photo via Sherdog)

Look, we know it can’t be easy to find credible opponents for undefeated bantamweight Holly Holm (5-0, all wins by KO/TKO), who has deservedly picked up the unofficial title of Best Striker in Women’s MMA. Most of the top female MMA talent at 135 pounds is already in the UFC, with a couple of holdouts still working in Invicta. The fact that Holm isn’t already under contract with the UFC is by design: Her trainer Mike Winkeljohn says that he wants to build her name to the point where she can demand top-level money by the time she enters the Octagon, and walk straight into a super-fight. Until then, Holm will be padding out her record with whoever’s willing to take a beating.

Coming off her LFC 24 demolition of some woman named Nikki Knudsen, Holm will return to the cage on December 6th in the main event of Fresquez Promotions: Havoc  against — get this — Angela Hayes, a 40-year-old bantamweight from Colorado Springs who carries a career record of 6-6. Hayes boasts four wins by guillotine choke, four losses by armbar, and hasn’t competed in two years. She sounds perfect.

“Havoc” will take place at the Route 66 Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which means that Holm will have home-town advantage as well. Good grief. By the way, I tried to Google ‘Angela Hayes’ to find out more about her, and most of the results were about the Mena Suvari character in ‘American Beauty’. Not that I’m complaining.

Read More DIGG THIS

Finally, A Rational Explanation for Why Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie Was Booked at UFC 148


(“Based on the odor, I would say this man’s been dead for three days.” / Photo via MMAFighting)

Our old bro Ben Fowlkes has written an in-depth double-interview feature-thingy on the UFC’s dynamic matchmaking duo of Joe Silva and Sean Shelby. If you want to learn more about how these guys operate, where they came from, and what they consider to be worst part of their job, give it a read. Personally, our favorite part is this bit in which Sean Shelby reveals the truth behind a baffling UFC mystery — how the hell was the epic UFC 148 squash-match between Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie booked in the first place? Dig it:

[W]hen McKenzie wanted to come down [to featherweight], initially Shelby wasn’t sure he could use him. Then Bart Palaszewski pulled out of a fight with Mendes, and suddenly the situation changed.

“What people don’t understand is, it’s not like I could just remove Chad from the card and say, ‘Sorry, I can get you a fight four months from now,’” Shelby said. “We understand. You spent money on a camp. You’ve got bills to pay. We will do our best to find you a fight. I bend over backward to keep guys in fights, to keep the machine moving. You have to.”

That’s another part of the process that outsiders don’t always get, Silva and Shelby said. Fighters are promised a certain number of fights within a certain number of months. Keep them on the sidelines too long, and the UFC could be in breach of contract. Beyond that, they’d also risk turning the UFC into the kind of promotion they hate.

Read More DIGG THIS

Poll — Which ‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine’ Underdog Has the Best Chance of Scoring an Upset Victory?


(What makes Nandor so angry, you ask? Dirt. He *hates* dirt.) 

Thanks to a terrible yet completely expected slew of injuries, Strikeforce’s going away event has disintegrated from a once competitive night of title fights to a freakshow event on par with an end of the year JMMA card. Former top-contenders Josh Barnett and Pat Healy have been thrown opponents that redefine the phrase “high risk, low reward” and newly-crowned heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier has been booked against some dude with a chance of victory so slim that even he is pissed off by how little of a chance said dude has been given. It’s gotten so bad that the UFC has been forced to loan their middle-of-the-pack middleweights out to the very organization they have been purging, seemingly out of some twisted sense of empathy.

But if Jorge Gurgel’s assertion that the fighters who lose on Saturday will not be headed to the UFC is in fact true, one thing we will surely not witness this weekend is caution. So with that in mind, we threw together a little poll: Which (massive) underdog could most likely score an upset at ‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine?’ All the usual suspects are included in the survey that awaits you after the jump, so join us in a little harmless speculation, won’t you?

Read More DIGG THIS

Chad Mendes to Be Given Another Easy Paycheck at UFC 157


(Damn, Brittney, where’d you get those vintage Brawlin’ Buddies?)

It’s a good time to be Chad Mendes, Nation. Not only has he been all but cleared of the battery charges he was facing following a massive bar brawl in October, but the UFC apparently feels so bad for sacrificing his undefeated virginity to Jose Aldo at UFC 142 that they’ve thrown him three straight gimme fights against dudes who would be lucky to wash his jockstrap at Team Alpha Male.

First he got called out by Cody McKenzie, which somewhat justified their insane pairing at UFC 148 (which ended in just over 30 seconds, by the way). And last weekend, Mendes dispatched promotional newcomer Yaotzin Meza in just under two minutes at UFC on FX 6. That’s two fights at 36K a piece with a total fight time of under half a round. No wonder he calls himself “Money,” the dude’s somehow become the most efficient worker in the UFC. Think about that for a second, Potato Nation, then take a moment to wonder aloud why Mendes has been paired against TUF 5 runner-up Manny Gamburyan at UFC 157.

Read More DIGG THIS

UFC Squash Match Alert: Ronda Rousey Opened as a 15-1 Favorite Against That Other Girl


(Keep it together, Ronda. Never go full Sally Field. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

According to BestFightOdds, UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey opened as a -1500 betting favorite against her UFC 157 challenger Liz Carmouche, who opened at +700. Since then, the odds have leveled out somewhat; SportBet currently has the line at a more reasonable -1110/+690, which means that you’d need to put up $1,110 in order to turn a $100 profit on Ronda if she wins, while betting $100 on Liz would…you know what, I’m not even going to finish that sentence. Please do not bet money on this fight.

The current odds make Rousey vs. Carmouche rank among the most lopsided UFC matchups of all time, which comes as no surprise — before the booking was announced, many UFC fans may not have even been aware of the existence of Liz Carmouche, who is an unknown quantity to everyone except hardcore fans of women’s MMA and Strikeforce. Plus, Carmouche fell short both times she faced champion-level competition, suffering a decision loss to Sarah Kaufman in July 2011 and a submission loss to Marloes Coenen four months prior, although Carmouche was winning that fight until she was stopped.

Read More DIGG THIS

UFC 153 Betting Odds: Anderson Silva Opens at a Totally Reasonable -1350 Over Stephan Bonnar


(ERMAHGERD. WERST GERMBLING ERDS ERVER”)

Since the Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar replacement main event at UFC 153 was announced, I’ve been waiting patiently to see what kind of absurd betting line would be tied to this fight, and the oddsmakers didn’t disappoint. As MMAWeekly informs us, Silva has just opened as a -1350 (!) favorite, compared to Stephan Bonnar’s +850 underdog line. Gambling n00b translation: A $1,350 bet on Anderson would net you just a $100 profit if he wins, while a $100 bet on Bonnar would pay off $850 in profit if he does the unthinkable. And if you’re trying to decide which guy to put money on, I can confidently say that either bet would be stupid as fuck.

That -1350 line represents the most lopsided odds for an Anderson Silva fight ever, and even surpasses the -1300 opening line that was given to Jon Jones against Vitor Belfort. In general, once the gambling line passes -1000 for the favorite, it’s a pretty clear sign that the fight is a dangerous squash match that shouldn’t have been booked in the first place. (Example: Cris Cyborg‘s -2000 opening line over Jan Finney, a fight that turned out to be exactly as competitive as we thought it would.)

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA