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Tag: Stephan Bonnar

Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 153′ Edition


(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.

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Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

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The Big ‘What If?’: Stephen Bonnar Shocks World, Defeats Anderson Silva


(Does this look like the face of a man who is going to lose?…Probably. / Photo courtesy of Francis Specker)

By Josh Hutchinson

Well Potato Heads, we are staring down the barrel of what would on paper seem like another absurd mismatch for a PPV main event. (Speaking of which, is it just me or does it seem like freak show fights are making a comeback?) Now I could sit here and try to persuade you that this is a legitimate match-up, Stephan Bonnar totally has a chance, Anderson Silva’s heart is not in it, or some equally stupid defense as to why this fight needs to happen, but I like all of you far too much to insult your intelligence like that. For Christ’s sake, even the UFC’s official promo videos for UFC 153 are split between joking that Bonnar has no chance and not showing Bonnar at all, if that tells you anything. So instead I’m going to take a hypothetical look at what could happen if The American Psycho manages to pull off the unbelievable. Because let’s be honest, if it happens, the fallout will be of nuclear proportions. For instance…

Stephen Bonnar, The New Face of Burger King

Should Bonnar prevail, his stock will rise exponentially with sponsors. A miraculous victory over Silva would have Nike, Burger King, and many others reconsidering the amount of support and money that they have thrown at The Spider. At the same time, it would then be easy to spin Bonnar as a legend killer — and therefore a legend himself — and he can be sure to expect a few more 0’s on his future paychecks. To this point, BK has kept their Anderson commercials in Brazil, since American audiences apparently wouldn’t be able to handle a cage-fighting burger pitchman. Bonnar, with his good-guy-everyman image, could break through that wall. New commercial concept: Bonnar and Forrest Griffin get into a furious Stacker-eating contest that leaves both men exhausted, and the other restaurant patrons howling for a rematch.

Anderson Silva pulls a Gina Carano

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Comment of the Week 10/1: And the Winner Is…


(I’m sorry, Kryszszytoff, but I’m not going to promise a name to my child when I can neither spell nor pronounce it.)

Let’s be real, when we brought back the comment of the week last Friday, you were all pretty much fighting for the right to play second fiddle to Seth’s “less a writer, more a philosophizer” comment describing the benefits of loving oneself as a coping mechanism. Unfortunately for Seth, as soon as one of us signs our CagePotato contract, we are immediately excluded from winning any prizes of any kind, be it a simple comment contest or an MMA Journalist of the Year award, which is clearly why not one of us have ever been so much as nominated in the category.

But we had to pick a winner eventually, so head after the jump to see which one of you will be receiving a gold medal for coming in second place…

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Comment of the Week 10/1: In Which We Cried Like a Couple of School Girls


(Oh Michael, I just miss the days of one UFC event a month is all.) 

As BG previously lamented, it’s been kind of a depressing week in MMA news (or in his case, year). Stefan Struve tearfully discussed his father’s recent cancer diagnosis, there was a slew of firings, a once great show continued it’s downward spiral into irrelevance, and the injury curse of 2012 made sure to pop in and remind us that it was still around.

But it is always darkest before the dawn, Potato Nation. So sayeth Two-Face.

Because through all of the depressing doom and gloom reporting we brought you guys this week, you kept your heads up. You stood tall and proud. Hell, you even had the intestinal fortitude to mock others’ misfortune like we taught you to. So with our faith restored, we are proud to bring back the Comment of the Week today so at least one of you can be rewarded for your ruthless, blackened souls.

Listed after the jump are the comments that gave us some much needed laughs this week, along with a poll for you to vote on your favorite. The winner will receive one of our classic “We Pull No Punches” shirts, but make sure to submit your designs for our next t-shirt contest, as we plan on giving a bunch away in the near future.

And the nominees are…

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Friday Link Dump: The Wakeboarding Cowboy, Bonnar’s Bold Statement, Dana White’s Only Regret + More


(What’s more interesting to you — Donald Cerrone‘s wakeboarding career, or Tracy Lee‘s chest? / Video via AlienwareChannel)

- Stephan Bonnar Feels He Can ‘Shock the World’ at UFC 153 (MMAFighting)

- EXCLUSIVE: UFC On Fuel 5 Fight Night Photo Gallery (HeavyMMA)

- Anderson Silva Won’t Stay at Light-Heavyweight, Doesn’t Want to Fight Jon Jones (Fightline)

- Whatever the lady on the left is doing, I want her job. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Ronda Rousey Won’t Fight at 145 Due to Trust Issues With Drug Testing (BloodyElbow)

- Dana White Opens Up About His Only Regret — His Offensive Tirade From 2009 (MMAWeekly)

MMA: Inside the Cage 114: “Faber Stifles the Count” (MMA:ITC)

- 30 Minutes to 3-D Shoulders (MensFitness)

- Beef of the Day: Mitt Romney vs. LeVar Burton (Complex)

- The 50 Weirdest Engagement Portraits Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

- Chefs of Anarchy Episode 1: Pig’s Head Dumplings (MadeMan)

- 69 Depraved Frank Reynolds GIFs (ScreenJunkies)

- 25 Stunning Photos of Planes Flying Past the Moon (EgoTV)

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Brace Yourselves, Griffin Bonnar a.k.a MMA’s Future Savior Is on the Way


(Well, at least he’ll be really funny!) 

It’s no understatement to say that the fight between Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar at the TUF 1 Finale basically saved the sport of MMA from those damned dirty machines. What machines are we referring to? These machines. But as you all know, our ambitiously misguided Skynet overlords have continued forward in their quest to replace man on the top of the food chain nonetheless. Lucky for us, the universe is about give birth to the John Connor that will eventually save the sport of MMA, nay, the world, from the cold, lifeless grip of the cyborgs. And by “universe” we mean Stephan Bonnar’s wife, Andrea, and by John Connor we mean Griffin Bonnar, a name so coincidentally similar slash awesome that only this man could have come up with it.

Yahoo! Sports has the details:

UFC fighter Stephan Bonnar will become a first-time father sometime in October. Bonnar and his wife, Andrea, haven’t decided definitively upon a name for their unborn son, but one name they’ve kicked around is Griffin. As in, Griffin Bonnar.

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[VIDEO] The UFC’s Totally Honest Hype Trailer for UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar

I just watched the first official trailer for UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar and I’m stoked, Nation. Not because the brief montage of fight film, music and narration fooled me into thinking that Stephan Bonnar somehow isn’t a gigantic underdog against Anderson Silva, but rather because the trailer is so honest about his chances and what we’re likely to see. It’s a nice change of pace.

Check it out above and see what I mean. After injuries jacked up UFC 153′s main event twice as well as the originally scheduled co-main, the UFC did the best they could by getting the world’s best fighter on the card and throwing a fearless, aggressive, entertaining fighter at him. The trailer serves as a reflection of this, as it basically tell fans, “Look, Anderson Silva is probably going to knock Bonnar out and we all know whenever ‘The Spider’ does that it’s hella exciting. But if somehow that doesn’t happen, and Bonnar wins, well that would be as big of an upset as we’ve ever seen, and dang, wouldn’t that be exciting, too? Please watch us. It’s been a rough year.”

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Twitter Contest: MMA Fighters in Only Three Words [UPDATED]


(Too. Damn. Talented.)

By: Jason Moles

I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.

Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.

Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*

Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.

Leonard Garcia: God help him.

Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.

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[VIDEO] Stephan Bonnar Details His Gameplan to Beat Anderson Silva and It Is a Doozy


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

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