sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Tag: Stephan Bonnar

UFC 153 Betting Odds: Anderson Silva Opens at a Totally Reasonable -1350 Over Stephan Bonnar


(ERMAHGERD. WERST GERMBLING ERDS ERVER”)

Since the Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar replacement main event at UFC 153 was announced, I’ve been waiting patiently to see what kind of absurd betting line would be tied to this fight, and the oddsmakers didn’t disappoint. As MMAWeekly informs us, Silva has just opened as a -1350 (!) favorite, compared to Stephan Bonnar’s +850 underdog line. Gambling n00b translation: A $1,350 bet on Anderson would net you just a $100 profit if he wins, while a $100 bet on Bonnar would pay off $850 in profit if he does the unthinkable. And if you’re trying to decide which guy to put money on, I can confidently say that either bet would be stupid as fuck.

That -1350 line represents the most lopsided odds for an Anderson Silva fight ever, and even surpasses the -1300 opening line that was given to Jon Jones against Vitor Belfort. In general, once the gambling line passes -1000 for the favorite, it’s a pretty clear sign that the fight is a dangerous squash match that shouldn’t have been booked in the first place. (Example: Cris Cyborg‘s -2000 opening line over Jan Finney, a fight that turned out to be exactly as competitive as we thought it would.)

Read More DIGG THIS

Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar Booked for New UFC 153 Headliner; Edgar Removed From Card, Maldonado and Big Nog Added


(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205′ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.

Read More DIGG THIS

TUF or WTF?: A Season-by-Season Retrospective of The Ultimate Fighter


(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

Read More DIGG THIS

Stephan Bonnar Kind of Retires During ‘UFC on FUEL TV’ Post-Fight Show [VIDEO]


(What?! You mean no more of this?! This isn’t happening. THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!) 

For those of you who didn’t have the patience, the cable package, or the right list of websites to steal last night’s UFC on FUEL event from, we are sorry to inform you that you missed out on one hell of a show. James Te Huna and Joey Beltran set the UFC record for most significant strikes landed within a three round light heavyweight affair at 206, unfortunately giving us cancer in the process. Te Huna also set a record for most significant strikes landed in one round by a light heavyweight with 71 in the first. In the main event, Chris Weidman made Mark Munoz look like Houston Alexander on the mat*, holding him to zero significant strikes en route to a beautiful standing elbow KO in the second round ala Steve Bosse vs, you guessed it, Houston Alexander. Apparently under the belief that Weidman had covered his gloves in smelling salts, referee Josh Rosenthal allowed the New Yorker to land about a dozen or more unnecessary shots to a clearly unconscious and exponentially bleeding Munoz, causing this writer to scream at his television in honest to God horror for the first time in recent memory. As is usually the case with a free card, last night contained its fair share of ups and downs.

But perhaps the most disorienting moment of the night (aside from the few seconds I thought we had seen the last of Mark Munoz) came during the post-fight show, which featured Jay Glazer, Chael Sonnen, and CagePotato contributor/future UFC HOFer Stephan Bonnar. When the three finally calmed down and Sonnen had finished stroking Weidman’s ego with the fervor of a Taiwanese transsexual prostitute, Ariel Helwani was able to snag a short interview with UFC bossman Dana White. After White announced the coaches for The Ultimate Fighter: Billy no-mates vs. Banana Benders, Helwani proceeded to ask about the futures of the fighters that sat just a few feet behind him.

White declared that “He hadn’t even talked to Chael yet” and that “Only [Chael] knows what he wants to do,” but the real bombshell was dropped when White was asked about Bonnar. After skewering, then roasting Bonnar’s dreams of coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter opposite Forrest Griffin over an open flame, White claimed that the last time he and “The American Psycho” spoke, Bonnar was considering retirement.

What followed was a heartfelt, if not mildly confusing speech by Bonnar that more or less confirmed this.

Read More DIGG THIS

Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin Announced as Coaches for ‘TUF 16: Fat David vs. Goliath’


(For his final masterpiece, Michelangelo decided to pay tribute to the Biblical hero’s fall from grace through the medium of hamstone. The results were shocking, yet delicious.)

As is likely the case for most of you, we here at CagePotato are more than willing to admit that we all but completely missed out on the failed experiment that was TUF Live. The placement of the show on Friday nights, the rehashed trash-talk and pranks between coaches; it just seemed all too played out and tired to really get us hooked. The fact that Dominick Cruz tore his ACL with only a couple episodes to go only furthered our belief that the season would have been a complete loss if not for the uplifting story of the season’s lightweight winner, Don Cheadle (or something like that).

So when Dana White informed USA TODAY Sports yesterday that the coaches for this season would be polar opposite heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, it more than piqued our interest. Aside from being the winner of the show’s tenth (and arguably least talent filled) season, TUF: Heavyweights, Nelson is by all accounts, one entertaining and funny sumbitch. Carwin, on the other hand, has shown before that he is up for a good joshing as long as it is not aimed at him. If you recall, the last time we got on Carwin’s bad side, Old Dad packed up his things, fled, faked his death, died his eyebrows, and attended his own funeral as a man named Phil Schiffley. The last we heard, he was still reporting on all things MMA from a one man vessel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean out of fear that “The Engineer” was still looking for him. So clearly, the potential for hilarity between these two on the set is higher than Nelson’s cholesterol levels.

Read More DIGG THIS

Stephan Bonnar Wants to Coach ‘TUF 16′ Against Forrest Griffin, Promises Not to Block Any Punches in Trilogy Fight


(Best frenemies forever.)

Through the majority of their parallel UFC careers, Stephan Bonnar has played second-banana to Forrest Griffin. The relationship started with Griffin’s career-launching win over Bonnar in their classic brawl at the first Ultimate Fighter finale in 2005; a rematch the following year resulted in the American Psycho going home with another decision loss and a steroid suspension. While Griffin was winning the UFC light-heavyweight title in 2008, Bonnar was on the sidelines due to injuries, and though Griffin occasionally ate a humiliating loss, Bonnar’s losses were even more embarrassing.

But lately, the two men have begun to shift trajectories. A not-quite-motivated Griffin suffered an ugly knockout against Mauricio Rua in Brazil last year, and is now booked in a relatively needless trilogy fight against Tito Ortiz in July. With Forrest in a holding pattern, Bonnar is now riding a three-fight win streak, with W’s over Krzysztof Soszynski, Igor Pokrajac, and Kyle Kingsbury. In other words, Griffin might be heading down the mountain, while Bonnar is somehow reaching another peak in his career — which makes it an ideal time for the two rivals to meet one last time, perhaps at the end of an Ultimate Fighter gig that would bring their lives full circle. At least, that’s how Bonnar sees it. Here’s what he told MMAJunkie Radio:

Read More DIGG THIS

53-Year-Old Man Fights on One-Hour Notice, Kicks Youngster’s Ass [VIDEO]


Battle Of The Ages – Watch More Funny Videos
(Props: Wargo205 via ProMMANow)

It doesn’t matter how fancy things get at the top of the sport — MMA’s regional scene is still a chaotic mess where literally anything can happen. Case in point: At Fire Extreme Fighting’s show at the Kankakee Fair Grounds in Illinois on Saturday night, a 53-year-old spectator named Tim was asked if he’d come in as a replacement for a fighter who had dropped out at the last minute. Being in fair shape for his age, and open to new experiences, Tim agreed, and found himself staring down a 21-year-old opponent just an hour later.

You can check out the video above. When the dust settles on this one-round slobberknocker, Tim has won by TKO and we find out that the enthusiastic camera-person is none other than Stephan Bonnar. “You’re my hero! That was awesome!” Bonnar tells Tim, who’s a little too winded to walk us through the replay.

As for the 21-year-old who was left unconscious in a planked position? Details on him are scarce, but it’s very likely he didn’t get laid that night.

Read More DIGG THIS

Crazy Story of the Day: Stephan Bonnar Detained in Bahrain, Bitten by Camel Spider


(Nope. Nothing suspicious here.) 

Fact: Next to the DMV and Detroit, airports are the most terrible places on the face of our dying planet. Fact: Stephan Bonnar is a dog-fighting, gun-toting, BAMF who is not afraid to to stare Death in the eyes and wipe that bitchy smirk off his face. Being the “gives not a fuck” type of guy that “The American Pyscho” is, the MMA apparel company he co-founded, NGAUGE, have found themselves in quite a bit of hot water lately, mainly due to the “gives not a fuck” attitude of their “Trash Talkin Kids” t-shirt line. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.

After getting into a little legal tossup with Josh Koscheck last summer, you would probably think that Bonnar’s t-shirt based troubles were over. You would be wrong, and I would implore you to stop being so Goddamn ignorant.

You see, alongside Rich Franklin and Keith Jardine, Bonnar was kind enough to travel all the way to Bahrain to visit some of the U.S. Troops recently. He was likely charming, and he likely brightened their day. But proving that no good deed goes unpunished, on Bonnar’s way out of the country, he was detained by airport security, interrogated for over a day, and bitten by a poisonous camel spider before finally being allowed to leave. Why, you ask? Because apparently airport security didn’t appreciate the subtlety of the Melvin Guillard “Young Assassin” shirt that Bonnar was wearing.

He recounted the ridiculous story on Tuesday’s episode of Inside MMA

We’re getting ready to leave Bahrain, and I get detained at the airport. Jardine and Franklin get on the flight, and they take me in the room. They’re asking me all these questions, and they’re furious. One guy’s comin’ in the room and pointin’ at me, all furious, like that. And, what I think is that, I had on the ’Young Assassin’ shirt, with Melvin Guillard, and there’s a guy with a turban with his brains spillin’ out. I don’t think they liked that too much.

Check out more from Bonnar’s interview, along with a nasty photo of the spider bite and two video updates taken by Bonnar himself while the ordeal was occurring, after the jump.

Read More DIGG THIS

‘Punch Buddies’ T-Shirt Design Contest: In Which Our Winner Is Decided in a Hail of Bullets [VIDEO]


(Props: YouTube.com/TrashTalkinKids)

The wait is finally over. After keeping you guys on pins and needles for like a full month, we have a winner in our Urijah Faber t-shirt design contest with Punch Buddies. Watch the stunning conclusion above, in which Urijah, Stephan Bonnar, and Rachelle Leah take the finalists out to the desert and eliminate the losers one by one in the most hardcore way possible.

When the dust settles, they’re left with two designs that they can’t decide between — so Punch Buddies is producing both of them. Since the surfing California Kid shirt was created by one of PB’s own artists, our congrats really go to CagePotato reader Peter Starwalt, who went all the way with his beach/shark-themed design. Congrats, man! Your design is going to be on an actual MMA t-shirt, and you might actually see Faber wearing it someday! We’ll be dropping you a line shortly, because your wild ride is only getting started.

Also: Remember when I said we had a surprise for everybody whose design was featured in this contest? Well check it out: Urijah printed out and signed all your designs, and I’ll be sending them out to you guys over the next couple weeks. Keep an eye on your inboxes; we’ll be in touch.

Read More DIGG THIS

Teaser Video: Round Two of Our ‘Punch Buddies’ T-Shirt Contest to Feature Rachelle Leah, Machine Guns


(Props: YouTube.com/TrashTalkinKids)

At this point, I’m willing to admit that our t-shirt design contest with Punch Buddies and Urijah Faber has gone completely off the rails. In case you were wondering why the quarterfinal round didn’t happen last week, it’s because Faber and Stephan Bonnar were working on a unique method of separating the winners from the losers, and it involved firing assault rifles in the desert with UFC Octagon Girl hall-of-famer Rachelle Leah. See, isn’t this better than just having you dummies pick the winner?

P.S.: We also have a really cool surprise for everybody whose design was featured in the contest. Stay tuned for details, and please follow Punch Buddies on Facebook and Twitter!

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA