(See, Gabrielle was right. Dreams CAN come true.)

If you started to give up hope that you would ever stand a chance of marrying a female MMA fighter since Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey are taken and Gina is probably banging busy doing press tours with the cast of Haywire, your Monday is about to get a whole lot better.

Cristiane Santos announced via UOL today that she and her husband Evangelista been living single since December and it sounds like the chances of a reconciliation are about as slim as the odds of testing positive for steroids from a tainted supplement.

(“This? This is Crystal Pepsi. I saved a case from when I was a kid.”)

Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal was on the MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani today and he (sort of) came clean about what the cause of his positive drug test was.

According to Lawal, he was taking a supplement called “S-Mass,” which contains the active ingredient 4-Chloro-17a-Methyl-a-andro4-ene3 – a methylated form of the steroid he tested positive for following his win over Lorenz Larkin earlier this month at the Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine event in Las Vegas.

The supplement, which was also sold by other companies under the names “Superdrol” and “Halodrol-50″ among others,  is well known in bodybuilding circles as a “designer steroid” as it tok a while for the government to realize what the compound was. The problem is, the supplement isn’t readily available in your typical GNC, so either Mo had some lying around the house since it was pulled from the shelves a five years ago following an FDA ban, or he ordered the pills from a shady internet site that sells banned supplements. Either that or the supplement was simply an excuse that was a step up from saying, “Yeah, I took steroids, but I screwed up my cycle and got caught.” The difference is, taking the latter approach wouldn’t allow you to barter for a lesser suspension like ignorance does.

Damn it! Why can’t any of MY supplements be tainted?!?

Well, that didn’t take long. Less than 24-hours after Cris Santos was fined and suspended by the California State Athletic Commission for failing her post-fight steroid test at “Strikeforce: Melendez vs Masvidal”, the now former Strikeforce women’s 145lb Champion has released a statement.

There are many hands a fighter can play after failing a PED test. There’s the ‘Bullshit Laboratory” defense, the “Recovering from an Injury” excuse, the “Poor Self Image” defense, and the increasingly popular “Deficient Testicles” defense. While some of these may have been invoked by “Cyborg”, she’s going with the tried and (possibly) true “Tainted Supplements” defense. It allows the busted fighter to admit that they are guilty of not closely monitoring their nutritional intake, but innocent of any deliberate wrong doing. And, if you’re keeping score, it’s been used by damn near every fighter ever busted for steroids.

But enough about what Santos could have said. Here she is, in her own words…

Bad news for…well, everybody, really. The California State Athletic Commission put out a press release earlier today announcing that Strikeforce featherwight champion Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos — the most dominant female fighter in the history of the sport — has tested positive for an anabolic steroid. As a result, her license has been suspended, and the result of her last win over Hiroko Yamanaka on December 17th will be changed to a no-contest. Here’s the full release via BloodyElbow:

CALIFORNIA STATE ATHLETIC COMMISSION SUSPENDS LICENSE OF FIGHTER CRISTIANE JUSTINO SANTOS – a.k.a. CRIS CYBORG

Mixed Martial Arts fighter tested positive for anabolic steroid in December 16, 2011 test

The California State Athletic Commission (CSAC) has suspended the license of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter Cristiane Justino Santos, better known in MMA circles as Cris Cyborg, and has fined her $2,500 as the result of a positive test for a banned substance.

Santos’ December 16, 2011 drug test came back positive for stanozolol metabolites. CSAC learned of the test results December 23, 2011 and suspended Santos’s license, with the suspension applied retroactively to December 16, 2011. In accordance with Rule 368, the result of her last fight between Hiroko Yamanaka will be changed to a “No Decision”.

“Our primary concern is for the health and safety of fighters,” said CSAC Executive Officer George Dodd. “Anabolic agents and other banned substances put not only the users of those agents at risk, but their opponents as well. The commission simply will not tolerate their use.”

(“I appreciate the recognition, but really, this award belongs to CagePotato. Get up here, guys.”)

By Jason Moles

This time last year, I gave you a list of predictions that really created a stir. I boasted that the UFC would host an event in Mexico and be legalized in New York. Man, was I ever wrong about that. I apologize. But I also said that Dana White would coin a new phrase, land a network TV deal and that a famous athlete would cross over into the world of mixed martial arts. Not bad, eh? 2012 is quickly approaching so get the champagne on ice and let’s get to those wild predictions…

1. FOX will reprimand Dana White for his inevitable off-handed comments.

“Faggot“, “f*cking retarded”, “dumb bitch” — these are all things that have been uttered by the president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, Dana White. The UFC may be MMA’s pinnacle and FOX’s diamond in the rough, but if the promotion is ever to secure a spot in the mainstream, it needs to display more control over its mouthpiece and his tongue. Advertisers tend to frown upon such public displays of hostility and bigotry. When Uncle Dana slips again and gives someone an earful, you can be certain that it won’t go unpunished as it has in the past. This goes for you too, Rogan and Rashad.

2. A champion will test positive for a banned substance.

(Yep. Just a couple of total badasses, right there.)

Do you know what today is, gentlemen? It’s the last day of Movember, which means that tomorrow you can finally shave your upper lip and return to a somewhat normal life. To celebrate, we’re proud to present the fourth and final installment of Dan Severn’s mailbag column, in which the famously-moustached UFC Hall of Famer shares his wisdom on worked fights, steroids, the death penalty, Chuck Norris’s beard, getting buck-ass naked in a parking lot, and more hot-button issues. Our deepest gratitude goes to Dan for gracing this website with his sense of humor and weird stories for the last month. Show him some love at DanSevern.com and his Facebook page.

But before we get into that, a couple parting notes about Movember. If you grew out an impressive mo’ this year, we encourage you to enter Break.com’s Show Off Your Mo contest for a chance to win a Samsung HD camera, and feel free to post a moustache pic on CagePotato’s Facebook wall. And if you still have some money left to donate, please consider doing it on KarmaAteMyCat’s CagePotato Mo Bro page. Karma’s tireless efforts have already raised $664 at the time of this writing — amazing work, bro — and he’s trying to break the $800 mark by the end of the day. Need more incentive than helping to fight testicular and prostate cancer? How ’bout this: Today’s biggest donor will receive a CagePotato t-shirt and, if you want it, a chance to write your own contributor column on CagePotato.

And now, the stunning conclusion of “Ask Dan”…

RwilsonR asks: Have you ever seen/been involved in/know anyone involved in any worked fights? Was this ever common practice with any promotions you have fought for?

(Leben might need to pray that MMA fans and the UFC don’t turn their backs on him in the next year while he serves his latest suspension. Ask Karo Parisyan.)

Anyone who says that the UFC isn’t policing its own athletes when it comes to drug use needs to talk to Chris Leben.

The troubled UFC middleweight, who blamed a massive weight cut on his sluggish performance, tested positive for Oxymorphone and Oxycodone in tests administered by the promotion following his UFC 138 loss on November 5 to Mark Munoz. As a result, he has been suspended by Zuffa for a year.

For those keeping track, this is the second time “The Crippler” has been popped for pissing dirty by the UFC. The first time was after his UFC 89 decision loss to Michael back in October 2008 when he tested positive for Stanozolol. Between these incidents, he also got picked up for DUI for the second time in October 2010, which clearly reveals a pattern of someone who needs help for a substance abuse problem or someone who really needs a hobby during the winter months.

(Come on. You’re telling me that’s not a pothead? / Photo via Sherdog)

Update: Herman only tested positive for marijuana. The report that originally stated he also tested positive for steroids came from a misinterpretation of his interview.

UFC heavyweight Dave Herman has confirmed that his scheduled UFC 136 main card bout against Mike Russow has been canceled, after his pre-fight drug tests came back positive for marijuana. Herman denies using the illegal substance. As he explained to Clinch Gear Radio:

“I went in to get in my drug test (on Sept. 15), and a week later, they called me and told me they lost my urine specimen. I had to come in and redo it. That was last week. I went back in that day. And [on Wednesday], they told me I failed. I said, ‘That’s impossible.’…[now,] Texas said they never lost it and the first one [tested positive] for drugs and the second was for steroids. I don’t even smoke…I haven’t even had a beer in two months.”

“Not only have I never done steroids, I wouldn’t know who to approach if I wanted to buy them.” (Photo: MMAMania.com)

Thus far the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix has laughed in the face of safe bets. Tournament favorites Fedor Emelianenko and Alistair Overeem aren’t just out of the competition, they’re out of the promotion. With Daniel Cormier in the finals, I’m kicking myself for not throwing down that $1 bet on “Any fighter not listed”. Now continuing with that trend, it is being reported that following his victory over Sergei Kharitonov, Josh Barnett pissed a sample so warm, so pure that it may as well have been bottled in the foothills of Machida Springs™.

MMAJunkie.com confirmed the results with Bernie Profato of the Ohio Athletic Commission. Given the “War Master’s” storied past with P.E.D.’s, there were legitimate concerns that this tournament could end in a Trilogy-style disaster, but he passed both pre-and-post-fight tests. In your face, us!

Other fighters tested and found clean were: Sergei Kharitonov, Daniel Cormier, Antonio Silva, Luke Rockhold, Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza, Mike Kyle, and Yoel Romero. Congrats, men: you’re either in that “very small percentage” of fighters who don’t juice, or in that big group smart enough to pass the tests.

Matt Serra, and his bucket of rigatoni, make their way to the cage.

Earlier this week UFC fighter Krzysztof Soszynski made the bold statement that the vast majority of MMA fighters—somewhere between 85-96%–are getting some sort of illegal chemical boost in the training room. Yesterday a bigger, more easily-spelled name in the sport spoke out in support of those allegations. In an interview with MMA Weekly, Matt Serra weighed in on what he considers to be a serious problem in the fight game.

“It’s wrong man, it’s really wrong. Let me tell you something. I got to the title without doing anything. I didn’t use anything,” Serra commented. “Me and BJ Penn are in that small percentage that don’t do (expletive). There’s a lot of guys that are considered legends, and they’re doing the GH and doing this and that, and it’s obvious, it’s freaking obvious.”

(The only substance K-Sos uses these days is horse blood.)

During an appearance on MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour on Tuesday, Krzysztof Soszynski made a somewhat surprising revelation that at least 85 to as many as 96% percent of MMA athletes use some form of performance enhancing drug. According to the veteran fighter, you can tell by looking at a fighter’s physique who is and who isn’t using and he would know, considering that prior to becoming a fighter he competed in professional bodybuilding and spent a few years as a pro wrestler.

Although he stopped short of actually saying that he had anabolic help building his hulking physique, “The Polish Experiment” said that he has never used illegal substances since he began fighting.

“Back in the days when I was a bodybuilder, obviously it was a little different, but for mixed martial arts, I don’t [use PEDs],” he told host Ariel Helwani. I don’t believe in it.”

“…and were it not for my testosterone deficiency, your honor, I would have thrown him completely out of the Octagon. Case closed?” (Pic: NBCSports.com)

A series of events that unfolded quickly and ended with Nate Marquardt’s exile from the UFC could see an equally swift ruling by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission later this week. Marquardt and his representatives are on the docket for a July 13th appearance, during which time they hope to plead their case for his use of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

As in the cases with Sean Sherk, Josh Barnett, and most recently Chael Sonnen, it’s not uncommon for hearings like these to be delayed for months after a failed drug test, but maybe that’s just due to California’s ‘totally chilled out’ approach to legal proceedings. Unlike the Sonnen case, this one shouldn’t be marred by a possible multiple personality disorder nor probable pseudologia fantastica. Instead, we may get to hear some key decision makers weighing in on the facts of TRT at an important crossroads in our sport.

(Steroids: You’re doing it wrong. Bizarre photo-illustration via SportsNickel)

Last Wednesday, Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval signed a bill that will provide more funds for out-of-competition steroid testing of MMA fighters, boxers, and kickboxers. The money will come from an existing ticket fee, and will pay for random drug screenings at any time, including training periods. The new law goes into effect July 1st.

Currently, the Nevada State Athletic Commission gets $1 per ticket sold for large MMA/boxing events, and 50 cents for smaller events that gross less than $500,000. Some of that money will now be diverted to year-round testing of performance enhancing drugs, both at a professional and amateur level.

It’s not the first time that Nevada has tried to do this. MMAFighting passes along some history:

By Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge

Thanks everybody for your responses. Anybody who has followed my career knows that I’ve always loved interacting with my fans. This blog gives me a chance to keep in the game, at least mentally. I’ve had a few hits to the head and I suffer from some memory loss but I hope that this column helps to dispel some myths and educate you about the things I’ve learned throughout my life. Some of your questions had me cracking up, and most of you clearly have way too much time on your hands. It’s good to be half man, half amazing and black by popular demand…

‘MyDonkeyPunch’ asks: What was the craziest thing a fighter whispered to you when fighting?
Usually I was the one trash-talking during the fights so I’ll tell you about one of the coolest things that anybody ever whispered to me outside of the ring. After I won one of my K-1 fights in Las Vegas, I got the opportunity to meet Muhammad Ali who was there to present a trophy to the GP winner. Ali had always been my hero growing up so meeting him was a dream come true. When I shook Muhammad Ali’s hand, he pulled me in a close embrace and whispered, “You’re one tough nigger.” I was so honored and excited and it was hard to describe how much that experience meant to me.

‘bgoldstein’ asks: Fill in the blank: __% of fighters use steroids.
Let me answer this question by making an analogy. What percentages of race car drivers use high-quality gasoline? The reason why I ask that is because when you’re running a high-performance vehicle you want to use the fuel that will give you the greatest edge in winning. If you are not using the same quality of fuel as all of the other top drivers, you will start to fall behind no matter how good your engine is.

(Not so fast, buddy: Silva’s big win could cost him dearly. Photoprops: MMAGospel)

Reports about Thiago Silva‘s sketchy UFC 125 drug test results have been swirling since last month, and were allegedly the cause for Silva’s removal from a slated bout with Quinton Jackson at UFC 130, as well as Brandon Vera’s sudden un-firing. And even though Silva’s camp promised us that the light-heavyweight’s drug test would come back normal, the Nevada State Athletic Commission is telling a different story today. As the NSAC confirmed with FightersOnly and MMAJunkie, Silva is being accused of supplying a urine sample that was not from a human source.

(Maybe they should let some terrible judges go instead as a cost-cutting measure.)

Last week MMAJunkie reported that the Nevada State Athletic Commission will be cutting random year-round drug testing from it’s 2011 budget due to a lack of available funding. The move will free up upwards of $20,000 that the program required to run in the past. In 2009, NSAC received $18,000 in government funds for the testing program. The governing body requested the same amount last year, but only received $12,000, but before the year was over, were asked to give the money, which was mostly spent by that time, back to State regulators.

Because the costs of effectively running the program are simply too great without an outside funding source, the commission has been forced to suspend out-of-competition drug testing. Athletes are still tested either the day prior to an event or immediately following it — sometimes both —  but with adequate time to clean out their systems, fighters can easily test clean even if they have been abusing performance enhancing drugs for months during the rest of the “off-season.”

The question is, should commissions just throw in the towel in the fight against drug use by MMA athletes or should they come up with other means of procuring the funds to try to keep the sport as clean as possible like other professional sports like football, baseball, basketball and hockey do?

(“Oh God! His tiny, shriveled balls are digging into my back!” / Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly)

After taking his third-straight loss against a bitch-slappin’ Thiago Silva at UFC 125 on New Year’s Day, light-heavyweight Brandon Vera was given his walking papers by the promotion. But according to FiveOuncesofPain and MMAJunkie, the UFC has had a change of heart, and has reinstated Vera’s contract. The reason for the flip-flop seems to be Silva’s mysterious drug test from that fight, which is still under scrutiny by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. The result of the Vera/Silva bout is expected to be changed to a “no contest,” and Silva will be facing a fine and suspension if the reports are accurate.

Last week, Vera went on The Ryan Loco Show and responded to the recent rumors of Silva’s ‘roid-usage. As he explained, it wouldn’t surprise him, and he wants revenge:

("You think it’s easy being the only reasonable person on Earth? I got news for you, it is *not* easy." PicProps: MMAFrenzy)

MMA’s most infamous steroid cheat says he hasn’t quite decided if he’ll be present next month when the California State Athletic Commission rules on his application to be relicensed to fight in that state. Nonetheless, Josh Barnett still plans on competing in this year’s Strikeforce heavyweight grand prix, though the date and location of his first round bout against Brett Rogers is yet to be determined. With or without Barnett in attendance the CSAC will rule on his license come Feb. 4, according to executive director George Dodd, and that ruling will likely effect where the California-based promotion can hold events on which Barnett is scheduled to appear.

As of right now, we’d guess that we shouldn’t plan on seeing “The Baby Faced Assassin” compete in any of the “major” combat sports states like Cali, Nevada or New Jersey anytime soon, especially if he ghosts the CSAC next month. Naturally, Barnett is taking a typically nonchalant, borderline combative stance on the whole thing. Dig it: "There are still some things I have to figure out … with (legal) counsel and Strikeforce and also to hear something from the commission (about) what exactly they intend to do or want," he told MMAjunkie.com this week. "I definitely don’t want to spend my time and fly up there to be ambushed."

If 2010 was a cold beer, we’d be down to the backwash. December puts all of us MMA-pundit types in a reflective mood, and this year gave us a double-crapload of big stories, insane fights, rising stars, and utter embarrassments to wrap our heads around. And so, we’d like to pay tribute to 2010 in the best way we know how — sarcasm and insults, mostly. Without further ado, here are 15 things we felt were worthy of some end-of-year recognition, Potato-style…

The Giant Silva Freak Show Award, presented each year to the match that’s made strictly for gruesome entertainment value; fighters should ideally exhibit a tremendous difference in either size or experience level.
Winner: Randy Couture vs. James Toney at UFC 118, in which a tubby boxing champ trash-talked his way into a co-headling bout against an MMA legend, and got choked out before he was able to land a single punch. This marks the first time in eleven years that the Giant Silva Award hasn’t been granted to a fight held in Japan.
Also receiving votes this year: Herschel Walker vs. Greg Nagy

The Wanderlei Silva Unintentionally Homoerotic Smack Talk Award, known as "The Wandy" is presented each year to the fighter who, when trying to hype a fight, inadvertently makes reference to having gay sex with his (or her) opponent.
Winner: Josh Koscheck, for the utterly disturbing wild-eyed, tongue-waving description above of what he was planning to do to UFC welterweight champ Georges St-Pierre during this season of The Ultimate Fighter. 
Also receiving votes this year: Matt Horwich, for his cringeworthy rant about how he was going to Mike Tyson 10th Planet protagonist Renato Laranja.

The Natasha Wicks Memorial Best Female Newcomer Award, presented each year to the up-and-coming MMA ring girl — preferably blonde, as per the bylaws — who gets us to forget about Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer, if only for a moment.
Winner: Rhian Sugden, the stunning (and frequently-nude) star of the U.K.’s BAMMA promotion.
Also receiving votes this year: Kelli Hutcherson, Stephanie Ann Cook, Brittany Ward, Melissa Jo

(Yeah, I can see Duffee being testosterone deficient.)

According to a story in the most recent edition of Dave Meltzer’s F4WOnline newsletter, only two fighters have received approval in Nevada for testosterone replacement therapy and one of them is 24-year-old brick shithouse, Todd Duffee. The other one is 40-year-old former PRIDE champ Dan Henderson.

On an unrelated note, besides getting older, MMAJunkie’s resident medical expert, Dr. Johnny Benjamin pointed out this week that one primary cause of abnormally low testosterone levels in otherwise healthy males is prolonged steroid use.

Meltzer says that only one fighter has received medical clearance for his use of testosterone replacement in California, but CSAC would not reveal the name of the fighter whose name rhymes with Stan Menderson.

(Propers: The Fight Nerd)

A two-for-one video sesh to get your Saturday started: At top, watch the aptly named Fight Nerd chat with M-1 Global Director of Ops Evgeni Kogan at the MMA World Expo 2010 this week. After the jump, find Chael Sonnen’s “exclusive interview” with HDNet’s Mike Straka following the California State Athletic Commission’s ruling to reduce by half his suspension for a funky UFC 117 drug test. First though, the Fedor stuff, because frankly we’re getting a little bit sick of talking about Sonnen’s gonads …

In this vid, Kogan – who you may remember as the dude who told Ariel Helwani that Fedor was MIA in New York City earlier this year when he no-showed his radio program — looks like he could seamlessly transition from a heated contract negotiation to playing bass for Weezer without even changing his striped belt. He also demonstrates that despite the fact M-1 Global’s biggest bargaining chip expended much of his political capital when he swan dived into the waiting legs of Fabricio Werdum in June, the Rent-a-Fedor company is still not afraid to make a bunch of totally ridiculous demands on both Strikeforce and Showtime. Follow the link to find out what they’re asking for this time. Seriously, it’s gonna blow your mind.

("What, the pink shirt? I need to wear it for undisclosed medical reasons." PicProps: FightNightNews)

As expected, there’s a ton of fallout today from Thursday’s California State Athletic Commission hearing, which saw Chael Sonnen’s year-long suspension for a failed UFC 117 drug test cut in half. Reactions range from pious outrage that Sonnen got let off the hook to excitement that MMA’s best trash talker will be back in the cage sooner than expected to amusement that he had to spend at least part of the hearing publicly talking about his balls. 

A lot of it was very boring and a lot of it was very strange. Sonnen referencing his late-teen puberty and citing the Americans with Disabilities Act as part of his defense were both admittedly pretty weird. All that aside, your feelings on this case probably boil down to whether or not you believe Sonnen has a legitimate, albeit sort of nebulous medical condition that requires the regular injection of testosterone. If you don’t, if you believe Sonnen, his attorneys and his doctor perpetrated a large scale fraud in front of the CSAC, God and everybody online yesterday, you’re probably pretty pissed right now. If you do believe him, then you likely think the commission’s ruling was the appropriate one. 

Honestly, our personal opinions about what happened at the meeting seem kind of beside the point right now. In my view, the thing I’m really still waiting for someone to explain is this: After his suspension is up, will Sonnen be allowed to keep fighting while receiving the same testosterone replacement therapy, so long as he does the proper paperwork next time? If so, then what are we really talking about here? A technicality? An administrative error? Sonnen got confused about to how many doctors and how many times he had to disclose his medical condition? Wow that seems, uh, dull.

(The CSAC’s "Dear Chael" letter, and proof that he listed testosterone in his medicals, not that it will help him much. Click images for larger versions.)

That eerie silence you’ve been noticing for the last couple months? That’s the sound of Chael Sonnen not talking. The formerly-outspoken middleweight contender has been mute since his UFC 117 drug test came back funky. That will change on Thursday morning, when Sonnen visits Sacramento to appeal his license suspension with the California State Athletic Commission; coincidentally, Sonnen’s case will directly follow Josh Barnett‘s long-delayed license reinstatement hearing.

FightOpinion found the entire 158-page agenda for Thursday’s session on the California Department of Consumer Affairs website, which you can see in its entirety right here. Chael-related documents take up the majority of the packet, spanning pages 33-144. A couple of noteworthy details…

(Now seems like as good a time as any to start talking. PicProps: Squabbles.com)

Though his agent said doctors didn’t know the full extent of Shane Carwin’s injuries until after he went under the knife in Colorado this week, the surgery to repair “neck, back and nerve problems” on the UFC heavyweight contender was reportedly successful. The big guy will be able to get back to contact training in 8-12 weeks and is hoping to return to action in the Octagon sometime during the Spring of 2011, according to an MMAFighting.com story out on Thursday.

"It went as good as it could have, but it was worse than we thought it was, if that makes sense …,” said Carwin agent Jason Genet. “The doctor said he was surprised Shane could compete with the damage as it was, but with the surgery, there’s no reason he won’t be able to fight and possibly even perform at a higher level. Once Shane gets back into the motions, we think it’ll be relatively quick for him to get into fighting shape. He’s not a guy who has a lot of ring rust."

Let us say without a hint of sarcasm or snark that this is great news. After Carwin had to pull out of his UFC 125 fight with Roy Nelson many of us media types were worried how extensive surgery might affect the 35-year-old, 265-plus pounder. It’s good to hear such a positive prognosis. Now, let’s address the issue everyone has been thinking about whenever we read anything about Carwin during the last few months: When can we expect the statement he promised us on that whole steroid thing?

Just a month and a half after Chael Sonnen tested positive for performance enhancing drugs following his middleweight title fight against Anderson Silva, the UFC has more dirty urine on its hands. MMA Junkie broke the news yesterday that Octagon first-timer Vinicius Quieroz — who was submitted by Rob Broughton in his debut at UFC 120 in London — tested positive for the anabolic steroid Stanozolol after the match and has been fired by the UFC.

As they usually do for overseas events, the UFC conducted its own drug screening at #120, testing main event fighters Michael Bisping and Yoshihiro Akiyama, as well as six other fighters selected at random. Quieroz was the only fighter who tested positive. In addition to his release from the promotion, the 5-2 Chute Boxe product will forfeit an undisclosed discretionary bonus from the UFC; his test results will also be given to the Nevada State Athletic Commission, which could affect Quieroz’s ability to get licensed to fight in the U.S.

(Video courtesy YouTube/WorldFightProducts)

UFC lightweight-welterweight, Nate Diaz was in Toronto over the weekend for some guest appearances and I debated whether or not I should make the hour-and-a-half trek to interview him for the site, but ultimately I decided against it knowing that interviewing him is like hunting for truffles. You never know if you’re going to find anything valuable or just come home covered in mud and having wasted your day.

As you can see by the video above, which ranks in my top-ten most awkward fighter interviews of all time, the likelihood that I would have found a "truffle" were slim to none as Nate didn’t seem in the least bit interested in answering any of the interviewer’s mundane questions.

Maybe it had something to do with the guy’s habit of replying to each of Nate’s answers with "Cool!" or "Super!" or "Super Cool!" or maybe its because he and Nick are both sociopaths in the classic sense of the word.

After frantically skimming through the 473 (!) entries that came in for this week’s caption contest, we’re happy to announce a winner. So who will pick up the duffel bag stuffed full of gear from Tokyo Five? We can’t tell you that just yet. First, the honorable mentions:

(Whatever could have been done to prevent this terrible tragedy?!? PicProps: Fightertrends.com)

One of the more interesting side effects of the report this week that Chael Sonnen’s urine tested way, way too manly at UFC 117 is that pretty much everybody in the industry got the chance to weigh in on MMA’s “steroid problem.” From Bloody Elbow’s suggestion that the sport just “accept” steroids in order to regulate them to Kevin Iole’s idea that promoters start funneling money to state athletic commissions for better testing to Bas Rutten saying he’s “blown away” that guys continue to look for unfair advantages, nearly everyone old enough to have a Twitter account tossed out an opinion.

For his part, Dana White told Iole that the UFC already shells out “literally millions of dollars a year to try to prevent the steroid problem” and the promotion brings in DEA officials to “speak to the fighters about the ramification of performance enhancing drugs” at its annual fighter summit. Iole writes that White was “exasperated” to learn over the weekend that Sonnen had tested positive and Big DW sounds downright at-his-wits-end when he moans: “What else do I do?” during the article.

Hey, I’m glad he asked. What the UFC should do about steroids in MMA is actually incredibly simple (Spoiler alert: It’s not spend “literal millions” to hold an annual summit where fighters get a stern lecture) …

(Joey Beltran predicts a slugfest against Matt Mitrione during the UFC 119 Spike TV Prelims, and explains the origin of his "Mexecutioner" nickname. Props: FightMagazine)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– CSAC’s George Dodd Explains Why Chael Sonnen Was Allowed to Compete at UFC 117 (MMA Fighting)

– Chael Sonnen Plans To Appeal Drug Test + Jim Rome’s Take On Sonnen (MMA Convert)

– UFC 119: Frank Mir’s Last Run At Heavyweight Title? (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Dunham, Sherk Headed in Different Directions Leading Up to UFC 119 (Versus MMA Beat)

– This Is What Google Says About Your Favorite Fighter (MiddleEasy)

– Snowman’s Land: Jeff Monson Discusses Next Fight in Israel, Drop to Light-Heavyweight (LowKick)

– The Best Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante Highlight Reel Ever (MMA Scraps)

- Understanding Why Chael Sonnen Failed His UFC 117 Drug Test; a Procedural Look (Watch Kalib Run)

– Bas Rutten Comments on Steroid Use in Mixed Martial Arts (Five Ounces of Pain)

Last week, Vitor Belfort let us all know that instead of expecting a title shot if he defeats Yushin Okami at UFC 122, he expect[s] Jesus, bro, every day. Well, it seems that the Lord has rewarded Belfort’s devotion. The UFC’s Marshall Zelaznik confirmed today that the Belfort/Okami main event in Germany will determine the next challenger to Anderson Silva‘s middleweight belt. "Both Vitor Belfort and Yushin Okami are one win away from a shot at the UFC middleweight title and are coming to Germany with a great deal to win and lose,” Zelaznik said.

Now, we all know that the UFC 122 main event has been upgraded to an official title eliminator because Chael Sonnen pissed hot and will be suspended for up to a year. Obviously, that wasn’t mentioned in the announcement. At some point, the UFC is going to have to make some kind of public statement on the fact that their Fight of the Night-winning former #1 contender won’t be around for a while, and won’t be getting that immediate title rematch that Dana White told everyone about. But for now, promoting Belfort vs. Okami is a more pressing issue, I guess.

As for Belfort, he’s just living proof that if you put your faith in God, you’ll experience miracles. I mean, the dude who said Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer by taking steroids failed a freakin’ steroid test the next month? Honestly, who saw that coming?