Nathan “The12ozCurls” Smith

With recent events involving a UFC fighter and alcohol grabbing the spotlight, we at CP figured we’d lighten the mood a tad with this new Budweiser commercial. From a stare down between Anderson Silva and Steven Seagal to Lyoto Machida making a cameo as he flees the scene, this commercial has it all. When I say it has it all, I mean they also mixed in a midget little person as well as Bruce Buffer and Dan Miragliotta. Much to the surprise of Chael Sonnen (because, we assume, he was unaware that the country has such technological advances like television), it has been rumored that the commercial will only air in Brazil.

(It was like this, but smellier.) 

Whether you are a man of religion or a man of science, there are those few urban legends out there that, despite their lack of physical evidence or confirmation, are universally accepted as truth. So goes the story of illustrious judo champion Gene Lebell’s confrontation with the true Godfather of mixed martial arts, Sensei Steven Seagal.

The story goes like this: while on the set of Out for Justice, Seagal happened to mention that, as a result of his Aikido training and extensive blues guitar playing, his Senseiness was impervious to chokes. LeBell, who at 58, happened to be a stunt coordinator on set at the time, opted to take Seagal up on his boisterous claim. Seagal accepted, was choked out, and proceeded to pee and/or poop his pants. Due to an alleged gag order placed on everyone from LeBell to the cast and crew who happened to witness the event, no one has come forth in the time since to confirm or deny this story. John Leguizamo brought it up once, and was promptly beaten to a pulp.

Well let today, March 12th, forever be known as a triumph for the human race, as LeBell has finally broken his silence. And according to him, even if Seagal did in fact poop himself, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Join us after the jump for the full video interview, complements of MMAFighting, along with a transcription of some of the highlights. 

(“Don’s worry Anderson-Kun, that’s just my chi you’re feeling against your thigh.”)

The 25 percent of Steven Seagal’s autobiography that isn’t utter bullshit is going to make for a fascinating read.

In the latest bizarre chapter in the life of “The Gimmer Man,” Seagal is being sued for non-payment to a former movie producer and business associate with mob ties for failing to pay monies owed to him.

According to a report from the Daily Mail, Seagal agreed to pay $500,000 to Julius Nasso, who he co-owned a film production company with until it dissolved in 2007. Nasso sued Seagal for $60 million back in 2002 for failing to deliver on four movies he agreed to star in, but the suit was eventually dropped after several months in the courts.

“Listen, I know we’ve had our moments, but before you make your list just hear me out…” (Photo: Gossiboocrew.com)

We’re only a few hours into the new year, but unless your head hit the pillow just as the ball dropped, you’ve probably already carried some of your bad habits with you into 2012. We are creatures of habit, and change doesn’t come naturally to us. If it did, we wouldn’t make such a big production out of our ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. The sport of mixed martial arts and its fans are no different. Here’s a quick look at some of the bad habits we’ve picked up and poor decisions we’ve made over the past 12-months. Let’s hope we can leave them behind in yesteryear.

“I got three of Richie’s guys breathing through their foreheads ova he-ya, so allow me be brief…”

Behind the scenes information and rampant speculation in the lead-up to a fight is the MMA equivalent of chicks gossiping in a powder room. It’s, like, totally fun, but when you start to base your investment portfolio around it or develop an eating disorder you know you’ve crossed the line. At least, that’s usually the case. The scoop we’re about to share with you is as solid as they come, so take advantage of this opportunity to change your fight picks and spray a bottle of Cool Whip directly into your throat.

Earlier this week, Light-Heavyweight challenger Lyoto Machida revealed that he had not been in communication with Black House’s not-so-secret weapon, Steven Seagal, during his training camp. Considering that his devastating knock out victory over Randy Couture was directly attributable (cough) to the action film star, it seemed odd that he wouldn’t turn to him for guidance while training for the fight of his life.

Have no fear, Dragon fans. As it turns out, Jon Jones‘ weaknesses are so glaring that they can be pointed out and easily exploited after a brief, last-minute teleconference. Who knew? Oh yeah, Seagal did.

(Video: Zombie Prophet)

Though both events took place under the purview of the California State Athletic Commission, the no-nonsense, military precision of last week’s UFC on FOX weigh-ins was nowhere to be seen last night’s event. That’s not necessarily a good thing for the fighters , but it’s certainly more entertaining for the rest of us.

Things kicked off with a healthy dose of confusion. Several prelim fighters tipped the scales well over the allotted limit, which Joe Rogan attributed to a discrepancy between the scales backstage and the official one upfront. While there may be some truth to that, other fighters managed to hit the target on the dot. It was painfully clear that the chick running the show for the CSAC had no clue what she was doing. You know you’re in for a wild ride when someone seeks mathematical and scientific guidance from this guy.

I awoke this morning to find a lone, blinking message on my answering machine. The messenger, whom shall be referred to as Minowaman for the time being, informed me of a video that would not only change the MMA and combat sports world’s forever, but possibly reignite the long, bitter tensions between the United States and Russia. And now, I will pass it on to you, Potato Nation, as I can only assume that shit in my town is about to go Red Dawn within the hour.

Amidst a deadly crew of English-speaking, Russian sleeper cells, a lone FBI agent, code name Gull of the Sea (at his request), was able to infiltrate a remote, Russian facility, like so, and record the following video of the illegal toe hold technology that the Russians have been building up for years.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/QTV)

And the Steven Seagal stories just keep coming. Not sure how we missed this gem from a couple weeks ago, but apparently “The Glimmer Man” took exception to John Leguizamo not respecting his alpha male status on the set of Executive Decision back in 1996 so he attacked the 5′ 8″ 160 lb actor to prove who was in charge.

Leguizamo recalled the story during a recent appearance on QTV.

“We were in rehearsals for Executive Decision. I’m playing his Master Sargeant and we come in for rehearsals and he says, ‘I’m in command. Everything I say is law. Anybody doesn’t agree?’ I was like, ‘Bwahahaha.’ I started cracking up because he sounded like a retard and he came up and he Taekwondo’ed my ass against the brick and he [hit me with his elbow],” Leguizamo recalled. “He’s six-foot-five and he caught me off guard and knocked all of the air out of me and I was like, ‘Why?! Why?!’ I really wanted to say how big and fat he was and that he runs like a girl, but I didn’t because all I could say was, ‘Why?!’ Why’d he slam me against the wall? We were rehearsing. What’s the bid deal? Why can’t I call him names? If I can’t let it out it’s going to build like a cancer.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightHubTV)

- The definitive collection of Ariel Helwani interviews including ours (BleacherReport)

- Dana White is number 38 on AskMen’s top 49 most influential men of 2011 list (AskMen)

- Miss CoEd Brigette Cadriel (DoubeViking)

- The incredible interchangeable films of Steven Seagal (FilmDrunk)

- How to defend against different attacks (MadeMan)

- 5 weird holidays nobody should ever celebrate (Clutch.MTV)

- 20 kickass sidekicks (HolyTaco)

- Last night I ‘accidentally’ discovered a ProElite ring girl secretly does porn (MiddleEasy)

- Jamie Varner un-retires to fight for XFC (MMAFighting)

- Tavares out, Stark in against Jacoby at UFC 137 (UFC.com)

- Of course Ben Stiller was picked to direct a period horror film (ScreenJunkies)

- UFC in 3-D to hit theatres Feb. 4 (CageWriter)

- 20 creepiest fighters in MMA history (LowKick)

- CSI: Legoland is incredible (TuVez)

(“The Glimmer Man” trying to pretend that he knows what the f*ck his new boss is talking about)

Well, Steven Seagal finally fooled someone into taking him up on his offer of unsolicited help.

The 59-year-old actor, who claims he was a CIA operative in the 80s and whose most recent stint as a peace officer, which was documented on his A&E reality television series Steven Seagal: Lawman, ended abruptly when he was charged with sexual harassment of his female assistant, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office’s newest deputy. Officials with the department say that his primary focus will be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas.

Seagal contacted Sheriff Arvin West two months ago to apply for work with the HCSO and according to him, he feels that his intentions were honorable.

“It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,” Sheriff Arvin West told the San Antonio Express today. “He’s like the rest of us that live down here; he has a sincere passion for his country and he wants to do more to help.The television aspect of what we’re doing here is the last priority.The man has a pure motive in doing this. He knows what we’re up against here and he wants to help.”

(Video courtesy of Jim Rome)

When Jon Jones called bullshit on Steven Seagal’s claim that he was slated to meet with the UFC light heavyweight champ just prior to him making the walk to the Octagon to face Quinton Jackson last weekend at UFC 135, most of us chalked it up to “The Glimmer Man” being a raving lunatic or a senile old man.

According to Jones, although he’s a strange cat, he doesn’t think Seagal is as crazy as he leads people to believe and as he revealed during an appearance on Jim Rome’s radio show yesterday, he may have had ulterior motives for the meeting.

Jones worried that the Aikido 7th Dan might have been sent to spy on him by Lyoto Machida’s camp since a meeting with “The Dragon” is a likely inevitability.

Well, Steven Seagal made it out to the festivities Saturday night in Denver and it’s beginning to seem like either he’s some kind of mixed martial arts guru or he’s a senile old man who is way out of touch with reality. My bet’s on the latter.

Our friends Karyn Bryant from MMA H.E.A.T. and Ariel Helwani from MMAFighting caught up with Sensei Seagal before and after the event, respectively, and let’s just say old cockpuncher had a few yarns to spin.

Check out the videos and the bullet points of the world according to The Glimmer Man after the jump.

Fresh off his angelic Burger King commercial, UFC Middleweight Champ Anderson Silva recently appeared on Brazilian talk show Agora e’ Tarde to sing a duet with comedian and the show’s co-host Danilo Gentili. Apparently after dominating every possible contender in the middleweight division, “The Spider” must have his eyes set on the Grammy’s. Though the performance was less than stellar, the good news is that Anderson can still consult long time hero Steven Seagal for advice in this department as well.

Join us after the jump for a study in Jon Jones’ superhuman abilities and the most unexpected knockout that you may ever see.

He made his bones knocking out palookas in the Toughman circuit in the ’90s, before transitioning into an MMA career where he was usually matched up against other oddly-shaped fighters. But now that he’s older and wiser — and still enormous — all Butterbean wants to do is protect and serve. That’s the premise of a new reality series called Big Law: Deputy Butterbean, which premieres August 9th on the Investigation Discovery channel.

The show follows Eric Esch (aka Butterbean, King of the Damn Four-Rounders) and his partner Deputy Adam Hadder as they patrol the streets of Jasper, Alabama, tracking down crystal meth labs and unsanctioned rib-eating contests. Will the 400+ pound ‘Bean be forced to scale a chain-link fence during a pursuit? Will Steven Seagal come in for a guest-spot? These are serious questions that need to be asked now.

When reached for comment, Tim Sylvia cried “What about meeeeeeeeeeee??” Anyway. You guys gonna watch this crap or what?

Well, it’s safe to say the UFC better have an ambulance running outside the venue for Mike Swick at UFC 134.

According to this training video posted by Tatame, his opponent for the August 27 Silva vs. Okami event in Rio de Janeiro, Erick Silva has been working diligently at perfecting the purported Steven Seagal-created kick Silva used to nearly decapitate Vitor Belfort at UFC 126 in February. Although you can barely make it out, especially if you don’t understand Portuguese, the UFC newcomer can be heard on the video telling his pad-holders, “If do right, no can defend.”

Joe Rogan *may* have uploaded this. VidProps: YouTube Person

Marcelo Garcia took gold in the 82kg Middleweight division this past weekend at the BJJ Worlds (and we’ll probably mention this esoteric tournament again, with its bizarre rules against hammerfists, soccer kicks, and striking in general). It was Garcia’s fifth gold at the Mundials, putting him on a very short list of grappling legends.

So where did Marcelinho learn his deadly moves? Check out CagePotato’s Quick Hit of the Day for the answer. But we bet you already know.

[RX]

By CagePotato contributor Jason Moles

During the illustrious eighteen-year history of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, we’ve witnessed countless brutal beatings, killer knockouts, and spectacular submissions. Simply put, we’ve witnessed a ton of holy $&*% moments!

I’m sure you have your favorites that you’ll share with your grandkids when you’re sitting in the old man’s chair. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself which moments in the past two decades were the biggest on a large scale? Well I did and I went to the largest scale imaginable: the almighty Google and here’s what I found. Remember, Google doesn’t have emotional or monetary interest at stake here. These moments are the ones that have generated the most web traffic via searches, not which ones impacted the sport the most.

5.) St. Pierre Beats Shields at UFC 129 – 04/30/2011

Why it’s ranked: Jake Shields left Strikeforce as champion so essentially casual fans and mainstream media alike viewed this as the first major inter-promotional, champion vs. champion fight. Georges St. Pierre, reigning UFC Welterweight champion and winner of nine straight came out on top of Shields who was riding a fifteen-fight win streak over the past five years.

The UFC went all in on this one hyping this event with the normal Countdown shows in addition to a pretty sweet commercial, the Primetime series, and a flyer in my mailbox reminding me to order the PPV. It was a huge moment in both men’s career primarily because it was the first tough competition either had faced in quite some time up to that point.  The underlying reason this mattered so much is that we all wanted to see the GSP vs. Silva super fight.

Props: MiddleEasy.com

Either Anderson Silva and is performing the best troll job ever by continuing to train with Steven Seagal, or being the best pound for pound fighter alive is so boring that Seagal is the only person who can motivate him to keep training. MiddleEasy posted this video today of the two training, with Seagal continuing to demonstrate his tough love coaching style. Don’t bother asking what exactly Seagal is trying to accomplish with the drill. If he’s trying to show Anderson Silva how devastating a jab can be, he’s preaching to the choir.

Frustrated that Silva (who wasn’t wearing gloves or handwraps, mind you) wasn’t punching fast enough, Seagal eventually drops Silva with a wrist throw. And by “eventually”, I mean less than thirty seconds into the session. It’s completely crazy, but what else would you expect from a guy who can market a drink called Asian Experience and a song called Alligator Ass while keeping a straight face?

(Props: Passing the Guard via tatame)

For those who are still convinced that Steven Seagal‘s relationship with Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida is some oddball marketing ploy, the Brazilian fight show Passing the Guard has released a teaser clip of their next episode, which does indeed show Seagal training Machida just before his UFC 129 fight against Randy Couture.

It also gives you a pretty good sense of Seagal’s coaching style, which is pretty much the polar opposite of Greg Jackson-style lovey-doveyness. Listen close as he says the following: “Use your mind. Use your mind. I don’t care if you kill him. I don’t care. You fuck him up. You take him out.” Hey, you can’t argue with success — but it’s interesting that Seagal is playing the bad-guy teacher in his life’s latest role. And after so many heroic performances…

(Apparently, California’s hands-free law doesn’t apply to giving both fingers to a videocamera.)

By Jason Moles

For quite some time now Strikeforce Welterweight Champion Nick Diaz has complained at great length about how he wants more money. Apparently earning a cool $175,000 (not including sponsorships) for treating Paul Daley like a punching bag just isn’t enough.  Who could blame him though, what with gas prices topping over $4 a gallon? All kidding aside though (yeah, right!) here are the top six reasons Diaz needs to get some Mayweather money:

Hire A Personal Interviewer

As we’ve said in the past, Nick Diaz is the best/worst interview in the entire world.  However, after taking Dana’s advice about learning to play the game, Nick is going to have to hire his own private interviewer/translator. With a new found favor in the media’s heart, he’s sure to finally make bank. Warning to anyone who takes this job: Don’t start $%*#, won’t be $%*#!

Pay Exorbitant Amount of Money for his Sponsors

(YouTube/MMA30tv)

Any time you watch a 47-year-old man get kicked in the face by a levitating karate master – man, if we only had a nickel for every time that happens, right? – you have to wonder how the elder statesman is going to bounce back from it. In the case of Randy Couture, he appears to be recovering nicely. Aside from a small bruise under his eye, the newly retired “Natural” seems in great spirits when he meets up with MMA30’s Dave Fara at a gala event for the Xtreme Couture GI Foundation, which seeks to raise money for wounded vets. Couture also looks fully in control of his faculties, as evidenced when he correctly uses the word “assimilate” in casual conversation.

The teeth however, were more of a problem. In the above vid, listen to Couture discuss the five-plus hours he spent at the dentist getting his pearly-white Hollywood-level choppers realigned. All that, and he even has to go back for more. Nonetheless, The Old Man is taking it in stride, relating to Fara that Lyoto Machida put in a personal phone call to him a couple of days after the fight to make sure he was OK. Couture laughs off the Steven Seagal angle, keeps right on using the word “cat” as much as possible (which is only slightly less annoying than when guys in MMA insist on calling everyone “kid”) and even comments on rumors he personally took out Osama bin Laden. “It was a long plane ride,” says Couture. So you know, (if you’ll excuse the phrase) business as usual. Now if we could just do something about the epaulets on his dress blazer …

The rest of Couture’s quotes are after the jump, followed by a bevy of other Las Vegas-based fighters making appearances to pay homage to the 14-year vet. And damn, check out the jacket on Ray Sefo at 4:15. Looking good.

(We looked and looked, but all we could find was this photo of Jim Belushi. Pic: The Fab Life)

At this rate, we’ll never be rid of this goddamn vampire. We’d hoped for a quick and quiet departure from MMA for Steven Seagal – kind of a one-off creep-and-lurk session at UFC 126 – but now that his second straight appearance in the corner of a Black House fighter has ended in a second straight front kick knockout, we don’t see that happening. While it is still totally unclear if Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva are just fucking with us (and by extension, with him) by professing their allegiances to Seagal, this week Out for Justice himself stopped by Sherdog Radio to assure us all that this shit is deadly serious.

As part of a nearly 20-minute interview, Seagal broke down Lyoto Machida’s jumping KO of Randy Couture at last weekend’s UFC 129. You know, as much as he could without giving away all the secrets of his deadly arts. He also promised to keep working with Black House fighters on new, top-secret techniques. Worst of all, it appears he’s begun referring to Machida and Silva as “his guys.” The quotes are after the jump.

(“Obama-Kun is like a son to me.”)

Our friends over at FilmDrunk.com took this exclusive photo during last night’s White House press conference in which President Obama announced that the CIA had located and killed U.S. public enemy number one, Osama bin Laden.

Yeah, that happened.

Ever since the UFC purchased Strikeforce, it has been business as usual. Well, for some things at least. Georges St. Pierre and Jose Aldo are still the kings of their respective weight classes. Jumping karate kicks are still incredibly badass. A stadium full of over 55,000 fans could get pretty loud. You know, business as usual.

Georges St. Pierre extended his winning streak to nine fights last night in convincing fashion, exhibiting his superior stand-up skills en route to a unanimous decision victory over Jake Shields. While Jake Shields displayed much better striking last night than anything we’ve grown accustomed to seeing from him, he was also unable to get the fight to the ground. Oh well, on to Anderson Silva now, right?

Well, not exactly. GSP didn’t hide that he hasn’t committed to moving up to middleweight, and Anderson Silva still has to beat Yushin Okami for this to happen. Oh yeah, there’s also one minor issue: Dana White seems interested in seeing GSP fight Nick Diaz. But can Dana White really make this fight happen? In the “business as usual” manner we’ve come to expect, Dana White said, “I imagine I could do whatever I wanted to do if I really wanted. But we have a contract with Showtime, and he’s a Strikeforce fighter. We’ll see how it works out, but that’s an interesting fight.” For what it’s worth, Jake Shields also likes the idea of Diaz vs. GSP.

(Props: MMAFighting)

Weigh-ins for UFC 129: St-Pierre vs. Shields went down yesterday at the Ricoh Coliseum in Toronto, with all 24 fighters making weight. Well, basically. Ben Henderson hit the scales at 156.5, and was given an hour to lose that extra half-pound, which he did. Bendo didn’t look too happy being on the scale in the first place; the tough cut might be a factor in his fight against Mark Bocek. Later, Mark Hominick‘s weight was announced at 145.25. There is no one-pound allowance for UFC title fights, but the match was OK’d anyway. Possible explanations include miscommunication and the overly trusting nature of Canadians.

In other weigh-in weirdness, Lyoto Machida brought Steven Seagal with him during his face-off against Randy Couture (you can find a rather amazing photo of that moment after the jump), and Ivan Menjivar showed up with a Wolverine claw that definitely didn’t look like it came from a toy store. Just seemed kind of unsafe, that’s all.

Come back to CagePotato.com tonight for live results from the UFC 129 broadcast; remember, Spike TV prelims start at 8 p.m. ET, and the pay-per-view starts at 9.

 
(Video courtesy YouTube/MMAHeat)

When Anderson Silva mentioned in his post-UFC 126 fight interview that Steven Seagal taught him the front kick that he knocked Vitor Belfort out with Saturday night most of the MMA community were willing to give the Hard to Kill, Out for Justice Lawman the benefit of the doubt, but when the Marked for Death, Above the Law Glimmer Man told reporters that he invented the textbook front kick, we weren’t the only ones who called bullshit.

Here’s what Seagal had to say to MMA Heat’s Karyn Bryant about Silva’s win:

"I couldn’t have been happier, because right before he walked out I said to him, ‘Stay away from him for the first, you know, two, three minutes, just kind of get him frustrated and fake low and come high and do that kick I’ve been teaching you and kick him in the head or the face. He did exactly what I said and exactly what I wanted to happen and I was very, very proud of him…I was raised in Japan under some of the greatest karate masters and jiu-jitsu masters to live in our time and I learned that kick 40 years ago or 30 years….35…I don’t know — a long, long time ago and I worked for the last 35 years or so to perfect it."

(If Vitor walks out at 126 to Iron Mike’s version of "In the Air Tonight," bricks will be shat. Pic props: Sherdog)

It looks like Vitor Belfort has one-upped Anderson Silva’s secret training weapon.

If you recall, prior to his UFC 117 bout with Chael Sonnen, the longtime UFC middleweight champion spent some time with 7th-dan Aikido black belt Steven Seagal to learn slap blocks, wrist locks and throat strikes — none of which helped him from being dumped on his ass and pounded on for the majority of five rounds by the testosterone deficient Republican.

After trying in vain to secure Ralph Macchio to help him prepare for his upcoming UFC 126 bout with Silva, Belfort had to settle for the next best thing: Mike Tyson.

(Props: MarcosAlvaredo)

On last week’s Bum Rush epsiode, we ragged on Quinton Jackson for training with actor/stuntman/fighter Lance Gibson, whose 4-5 MMA career includes appearances in the UFC, SuperBrawl, and Shooto, and whose theatrical credits include "Bouncer," "Security Guard," and "Doorman." Of course, Jackson’s upcoming UFC 123 opponent is Lyoto Machida, a serious martial artist. That’s why, like Anderson Silva before him, Machida is taking aikido lessons from Steven Seagal. Nope, we see nothing worth mocking here whatsoever.

(Video  courtesy YouTube/LUMBATE)

Just when you thought UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva couldn’t get any stranger than his bizarre UFC 112 performance against Demian Maia in Abu Dhabi, "The Spider" goes and ups the ante and brings in washed up silver screen tough guy Steven Seagal to help him train in the deadly art of Aikido for his upcoming UFC 117 fight with Chael Sonnen in August.