“Did I stutter?! I said you’re a lay-and-pray artist who will NEVER beat Georges St. Pierre!”

It appears we weren’t the only ones surprised by Donald Cerrone’s recent comments for UFC lightweight Anthony Pettis. Anthony Pettis, who claims that he’s always been cordial with Cerrone in the past, recently attempted to make sense of the whole ordeal on “The MMA Hour.” Spoiler alert: He ain’t too keen on being told to “grab his purse and dance,” brother.

As transcribed by MMAMania.com:

“It’s comedy. This is the first news to me that I have heard of Cerrone calling me out or that he has been calling me out or he wanted to fight me. I talked to my manager about it and I think it’s just him trying to get his name out there and trying to get to my spot, trying to get to that title shot, to try and get closer to a title shot. But, for him to do it the way it did, just pissed me of, so. If he gets passed with his fight with Melvin, and it makes sense for me to fight him and then fight for a title shot, then I will do it. If he is in my way, I will take him out. (I’m)100 -percent (pissed off). I am super pissed. I am not the guy to talk or the type of guy to be out there and talk shit about anyone, but for him to call me out and put it the way he put it, pretty much saying that I am afraid to fight somebody, that is never the case. I am never afraid to fight anybody. I want to be the best lightweight in the world and if he is in my way, then I will take him out too. He wanted to fight in August, I wasn’t going to be ready until October or November and I openly said it on Twitter and I openly said it everywhere, so it’s not a matter of me ducking him, if he wants to fight in November, let’s do it, I will gladly take that fight and I will be so motivated to whoop his ass.”

(*dial tone* Alcohol affects the memory.) 

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Over the past few months, everyone from Tim Boetsch to Alan Belcher to Brian Stann have called out soft-spoken middleweight Michael Bisping, and we honestly can’t understand why. The man is a kind, yet misunderstood human being with great taste in music who has never come off as anything but respectful for as long as we’ve known him. As it goes in prison, they always seem to pick on the nice guy who doesn’t really belong there.

Recently, however, it appears that Bisping has had enough, and has turned the tables on the bullies that simply wont let him be, threatening to kick not only Stann’s ass, but calling out Hector Lombard (sort of), then Anderson Silva, and now Chris Weidman as well. Apparently fed up with all of the “respect” Weidman was receiving for “finishing” a fight against a “top” contender, Bisping took to Twitter to vent his frustrations:

Weidman looked great last night. But no1 contender? If that’s the case I want to fight him and prove I’m the number 1 contender. Let’s do it.

Now, we understand that Bisping may very well think that he’s the number one contender, despite the fact that his last win against a top or even upper-tier middleweight dates back to, you know, never, but this is getting a little redundant at this point, is it not?

(Guess if they’re gonna let *somebody* fight Bisping, it might as well be somebody we like.)

When last we heard from Tim Kennedy, he’d just completed the MMA equivalent of sinking a two-foot putt by choking out Melvin Manhoef in Strikeforce, then went public with his lament that he hadn’t been the one to administer an in-home eye exam to Osama bin Laden. Y’all know we’ve always liked Kennedy. Seems like a super cool dude and admittedly there’s something fascinating about a guy whose typical day might just as easily include either choking out a Dutch-Surinamese kickboxer or smoking the world’s top terrorist. Give or take.

It’s exactly that admiration that led us to be a bit disappointed this week when we heard about Kennedy offering to fight Michael Bisping over at MMA Weekly. Calling out Bisping is one of the more played-out moves a well-known middleweight can make, after all. When we saw Kennedy saying it, we assumed it was just another case of a guy trying to make his bones off Bisping’s inflated reputation and general overratedness. Truthfully, there probably is some of that at work here. But then we started digging into Kennedy’s quotes and realized that A) He’s offering to fight “The Count” basically for free (PR bump notwithstanding) and B) He seems driven to do it out of moral obligation, more than anything else. As far as we’re concerned that – as long as he’s not just bullshitting us – is pretty cool.

(Does this look like a dude who should be deprived of what he wants? Pic: Sherdog)

As avid readers of our keen, in-depth statistical analysis, we know that you know that we know that Jake Ellenberger is currently riding a four-fight win-streak in the UFC. After going to Toronto and knocking out short-notice opponent Sean Pierson (just like we told you he would) last month Ellenberger remains undefeated since his split decision loss to Carlos Condit in his Octagon debut (a fight he appeared to be on his way to winning before gassing out) way back in September, 2009. Now that he’s home in Nebraska rehabbing the hand he broke on Pierson’s face, Ellenberger is going back to basics, returning to a strategy he adopted some months ago: Trying to trash-talk his way into a fight with Jake Shields.

Except here’s the difference: If not for that original loss to Condit at UFN 19, people might just be talking about a 5-0 (in the UFC) Jake Ellenberger as a potential top candidate to get a welterweight title shot one of these days soon. So now that Ellenberger is soaring and the Shields hype-wagon has been slowed a bit by his do-nothing performance against Georges St. Pierre at UFC 129, maybe this booking wouldn’t seem so crazy. Hmmmm?

(At that moment, Bader’s whole life flashed before his eyes, and the part about fighting Tito Ortiz at UFC 132 made him say, “No way, you gotta be shittin’ me!”)

Guess you have to give Ryan Bader partial credit for admitting to MMA Weekly on Friday that one of the reasons he wanted to fight Tito Ortiz was to erase from his mind the nightmarish memories of his UFC 126 fight with Jon Jones. On the other hand, we have to kinda call disingenuousness (aka bullshit) on the way Bader sort of tries to make it sound like this bout just fell into his lap (as we recall, he specifically called Ortiz out) and saying that he took the fight because he’s “an MMA fan” who just wanted to take on a legend. Check it out:

“Although it’s a step down in competition from Jon Jones and (Antonio Rogerio) Nogueira, I got a chance fight a guy like Tito, a legend of the sport, and we took it,” Bader said. “It’s almost like a novelty fight for me going in there and (fighting) a guy I grew up watching. I’m a fan and a fighter. I want to be a part of his legacy and vice versa. I want to have Tito Ortiz in my win column.”