(“My suit? No, it’s not Mr. Big and Tall, it’s Brooks Brothers. I got a Zuffa corporate card now.”)

The California State Athletic Commission today revealed the salaries from last weekend’s Diaz vs. Daly event in Stockton, and for the most part the fighters from the card were pretty well compensated.

The top money-earner of the night was welterweight champ Nick Diaz who netted $175,000 for his beatdown of Paul Daley. For his effort, Daley took home $65,000. Tied for second place in the night’s salary rankings are Strikeforce lightweight kingpin Gilbert Melendez and former light heavyweight champ Gegard Mousasi who both took home $150,000 for their efforts. The disparity between the take-home pay of Melendez and Mousasi’s opponents was interesting. Tatsuya Kawajiri picked up $97,612.50 for eating a handful of Melendez’s “hellbows” while Keith Jardine made just $25,000 for taking Mousasi the distance.

(I’m just saying, it’s a little ironic to wear a ‘Fight for Japan’ patch on your shorts while you’re personally contributing to the agony of Japanese people. Props: MMAFighting.com)

It might be a while before we get to see cross-promotional fights between UFC and Strikeforce talent. But what’s the harm in a little theoretical speculation? For this installment of the Armchair Matchmaker, we decided to pair up Saturday’s winners and losers with the UFC fighters they should face next, if that sort of thing was possible. And even if it’s a completely meaningless exercise, it’s still more interesting than talking about Diaz vs. Woodley and Melendez vs. the winner of Wilcox/Masvidal. (Ugh, reality. So tedious.) Let’s get started…

Nick Diaz: I know Georges St. Pierre is the obvious answer, but then I think about GSP out-wrestling Nick for five rounds and the dream-fight becomes a lot less dreamy. I’d actually be more interested in seeing Diaz try to avenge his 2005 decision loss to Diego Sanchez, another fighter who puts on a thrilling show every time he steps into a cage. Diaz has probably not forgotten his beef with Sanchez, and Diego has actually suggested that the two settle their rivalry as opposing coaches on TUF. Cosigned, homey.

It’s just as well. Frankly “011-44-115″ is harder to remember than “209″ (Pic: Strikeforce.com)

The first major Strikeforce event under the Zuffa/Forza banner delivered a full night of action and first round stoppages, with a little of the obligatory ‘Majority Draw’ bullshit mixed in for good measure. While it was a typical Strikeforce show from top to bottom, the UFC hardly tried to keep a low profile at the event. Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta were both in attendance, the cage floor advertised the upcoming GSP-Shields fight, and talk of cross-promotional bouts peppered the event from the commentator booth to the stupid text polls. Maybe it’s just us, but there are far more important issues to vote on.

After years of watching Nick Diaz win the stand-up battle against “better strikers”, is it now time for us all to admit that he is the better striker? In true Diaz fashion, he did exactly what he said he would do and exactly what the media and fans alike discouraged- stand up with a dangerous striker. Like a successful version of Jorge Gurgel, Diaz has built his mystique and fanbase upon his refusal to utilize his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt and his unquenchable thirst to punch dudes in the face. While victorious once again, that doesn’t mean he dominated the fight. Daley’s power was a known commodity headed into this bout, which made the both the risk and the reward to stand and bang with him all the greater for Diaz. The two exchanged heavily throughout the one-round fight, and twice “Semtex” dropped Diaz to the floor in what looked like the beginning of the end for the pride of Stockton.

(Wrap your fucking head around THAT….and no, it isn’t a Photoshop.)

When UFC president Dana White said he probably wouldn’t attend any Strikeforce events because of the enemies he had made who are associated with the promotion and its broadcast partner, Showtime, nobody seemed very surprised, but when the Balfather showed up at the Valley View Casino Center a couple hours ago for tonight’s SF event in San Diego people nearly lost their shit.

We gotta admit, seeing Dana with his arms around Strikeforce and UFC CEOs Scott Coker and Lorenzo Fertitta is pretty fucking bizarre, kinda like when he french-kissed Tito. Hopefully he’s there to enjoy the show, not to hand out pink slips to Strikeforce employees (unless we’re talking Gus Johnson) and to have reporters he doesn’t like escorted from the premises.

We want to believe that he isn’t going to get rid of Strikeforce like he did PRIDE, the WFA and the WEC.

Here’s hoping his tune hasn’t changed from November when he said:

“We couldn’t care less [what Strikeforce is doing], but we don’t want them to blow their brains out and go away. We need these guys to exist. Listen, whether they want to believe it or not, they’re the small show. They’re a feeder show. Whether they want to believe it, that’s what they are. We need them.”

Strikeforce has consistently put on quality fights and solid events the past handful of shows and tonight’s event is no exception.

Enough about business as usual, let’s talk Strikeforce.

For the most part, last night’s weigh-ins were uneventful. By all accounts the proceedings went more smoothly with Zuffa steering the ship, and Scott Coker did his best Dana impression by injecting himself into the face-offs. California State Athletic Commission rules state that if a fighter elects to first weigh in wearing his fight trunks, he may not later remove them to assist in making weight. Lightweight Champion Gilbert Melendez and Welterweight challenger Paul Daley opted to play it safe and weigh in behind a towel on their first attempt. Both were successful.

Beyond silencing his haters and exorcizing his weigh-in demons, Daley may have scored another small victory. The lead up to this bout was by all standards tame. The brash “Semtex” bit his tongue, saying that he tried to start a war of words early on but decided he was wasting his effort when Diaz didn’t take the bait. Diaz’s interviews, always an interesting dichotomy between repressed emotions and stream of consciousness, focused more on how little he was paid than his upcoming bout. The cool-headed courtesy ended last night with the face-off, where Daley’s jawing brought the 209 out of Diaz and may have increased his chances at walking away with the belt.

TROLL POWER!

While we were busy thinking of Strikeforce related April Fool’s Day pranks, it turns out that Strikeforce was busy finding a replacement for Mike Kyle. Due to the timing of the announcement, I’ve been skeptical to report it as real news. However, it appears that Keith Jardine will be stepping in for Mike Kyle on April 9^th to fight Gegard Mousasi.

Go figure.

(Yeah, now that you mention it, you never see Mike Kyle and Newark mayor Cory Booker in the same room together…)

Due to a broken hand suffered in training, Strikeforce light-heavyweight contender Mike Kyle has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled match against Gegard Mousasi at ‘Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Daley‘ (April 9th, San Diego). The Kyle/Mousasi match would have likely produced the next challenger to Dan Henderson’s 205-pound title. Strikeforce is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Mousasi, who has scored wins over Jake O’Brien and Tatsuya Mizuno while competing in DREAM since losing the Strikeforce light-heavyweight title to Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal last April.

The news of Kyle’s injury withdrawal comes just a day after we learned that Jon Fitch — who trains alongside Kyle at American Kickboxing Academy — would not be making his rematch date with BJ Penn because of a shoulder injury. Speaking of which, Carlos Condit is down to step in against BJ Penn…as soon as the UFC asks him to.

Well, it’s on a poster now, so I guess this fight’s really happening. But if you ask me, the old “U.S. vs. U.K.” opposing-flags angle is a little tired. I’d rather focus on what Nick Diaz and Paul Daley have in common. They’re both perpetually grumpy, for one thing. And they both do some of their best fighting after the last bell. (Who can forget Daley’s Josh Koscheck sucker-punch incident, or the Nashville brawl, or the Joe Riggs hospital fight?)

Unfortunately, one of the names on the poster — lightweight title contender Tatsuya Kawajiri — might have to drop out of the event, due to the current devastation in Japan. According to an MMAJunkie report, Jorge Masvidal and KJ Noons have been asked to stand by as replacements in case Kawajiri and Shinya Aoki are unable to compete. Masvidal and Noons were originally slated to face each other on the “Diaz vs. Daley” card, which goes down April 9th card in San Diego; now we could be seeing Melendez vs. Masvidal and Noons vs. Lyle Beerbohm. We’ll let you know when things are official.

Related: Following destruction in Japan, Akiyama pulls out of bout at UFC 128

(Above: Shinya Aoki thrusts his hypnotic package at a DREAM ring girl. Below: Lyle Beerbohm’s mom poses with the fancy fabric used to make her son’s shorts.)

Among lightweight MMA fighters known for their multi-colored ring attire, Shinya Aoki and Lyle Beerbohm are easily ranked #1 and #2 in the world. And so, this matchup was inevitable. As first reported by MMA-Japan, Aoki and Beerbohm will meet in a featured bout at Strikeforce’s April 9th show.

Aoki’s last Strikeforce appearance ended in a five-round shutout at the hands of Gilbert Melendez at Strikeforce: Nashville. He won his next three MMA bouts in Japan, but most recently got knocked out in a bizarre mixed-rules bout against Yuichiro “Jienotsu” Nagashima at Dynamite!! 2010. As for Beerbohm, the Spokane-based fighter had his perfect record snapped last month in Texas, when he got out-worked by Pat Healy in one of the greatest grappling exhibitions in recent MMA history.