(Something tells me this photo wasn’t Nick’s idea.)

The above photo of Jose Canseco smokin’ and jokin’ with the Diaz boys at their Lodi, California academy comes to us courtesy of NathanDiaz.com, the website that would like you to know that you are, in fact, a punk bitch.  Looks like the unholy union between the Cesar Gracie team and baseball’s most infamous attention whore/steroid snitch is now a reality, at least in some form. 

We were holding out hope that Nick Diaz’s well-established dislike for exactly the type of jock asshole that Canseco is might prevent him from letting Canseco use the squad as a stepping stone in his ongoing attempt to turn MMA into some sort of half-assed celebrity boxing.  No such luck.  Now we just have to pray that one of the Diaz’s breaks his arm in a training "accident" and sends him back to pleading for tanning salon endorsement deals on Twitter, where he belongs.

Strikeforce, if you’re reading, just so we’re clear about this, DO NOT SIGN JOSE CANSECO TO FIGHT FOR YOU.  Herschel Walker was one thing.  He took it seriously, said all the right things, and even though the quality of his fight proved exactly why you don’t put 0-0 fighters on TV, we’re willing to overlook it.  But Canseco?  No way, homie.  He just wants a quick buck and cheap attention.  Stay away.  We cannot stress this enough.

("Cyborg" Santos proves that a female fighter can stop a punch just as good as a male one, and for less money too. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

While the rest of the nation might be slowly inching toward gender equality in the workplace, in MMA a woman still does a man’s job for pennies on the dollar. At least, that’s the situation for women not named Gina Carano, which is to say it’s the situation for all the women actively pursuing an MMA career at the moment. This, among other lessons, becomes clear once we take a good hard look at the official payouts from Saturday night’s Strikeforce event.

Nick Diaz: $100,000 (no win bonus)
def. Marius Zaromskis: $30,000

Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos: $35,000 ($15,000 win bonus and $5,000 "championship" bonus)
def. Marloes Coenen: $2,000

Herschel Walker: $600 (no win bonus)
def. Greg Nagy: $5,000

(Props: Fight Magazine)

Strippers, the government, our immediate family – we expect them to lie to us. We’ve gotten so used to it that we barely even notice it anymore.  We just give them our money and try not to think about what it’s really being spent on. But Robbie Lawler? Him, we thought we could trust. When he told us that he wanted to stand and bang with Melvin Manhoef, when he laughed off the idea of taking down an opponent for the first time in recent memory, we believed him. It seemed like a bad idea, but at least it seemed like a sincere bad idea. Only after the fight do we learn that it was all a ruse.  That lying son of a bitch.

As Lawler admits in this video, he didn’t really want any part of Manhoef’s vicious stand-up. The only reason the fight stayed on the feet at all was because Lawler couldn’t find an opportunity to get it to the mat. Instead he got his leg kicked to pieces and his head rattled a little bit before he managed to land that totally pre-planned, super technical right hand. It worked out for him in the end, but at what cost? With this trust now broken, his relationship with the MMA world may never be the same.

(Talk that shit now, "Nurse Jackie."  Photo courtesy of AllElbows.com)

Strikeforce: Miami drew 517,000 viewers on Showtime this past Saturday night, proving that there are some benefits to putting well-known but largely untested fighters in against outmatched opponents. The numbers may not have been quite as good as the 576,000 viewers who tuned in to see Gina Carano and “Cyborg” Santos go at it back in August, but it was still a marked improvement from the 341,000 that watched the last Strikeforce offering on Showtime in December.

So what made the big difference this time? Was it Herschel Walker’s appeal to the common sports fan? Bobby Lashley’s drawing power among pro wrestling fanboys? The mere presence of Wes Sims, one of MMA’s tallest fighters? There’s no way to know for sure, but we’re going to go ahead and speculate that it was some combination of all three, plus all the people who have sold Nick Diaz weed at some point in the past.

The one somber note to all this is that once again the replay of a UFC event – this time UFC 107 – beat Strikeforce in terms of sheer numbers. Spike TV pulled in 2.2 million viewers with B.J. Penn and Diego Sanchez, though of course they did have the advantage of being available in roughly eight times as many homes. Still, over half-a-million people on a premium cable network in lean economic times is nothing to be ashamed of.  Now if they could only work in some kind of vampire-related storyline they might really draw huge audiences.  Your time to shine, Stephen Quadros.

(After this offer, Canseco tweeted that he’s looking for a tanning salon and 24-hour gym to endorse. Seriously.)

It turns out that there is a good reason why MMA shouldn’t let retired athletes from other sports climb into the cage for a little career rejuvenation, and that reason is named Jose Canseco. Something about seeing Herschel Walker stop Greg Nagy with vicious strikes to the armpit at Strikeforce: Miami made the former pro baseball player/steroid abuser/attention whore think that this is his invitation to once again make a mockery of our fine sport with his helpless flailing.

We’re not going to ask why Canseco would refer to himself as “the bad Boy of the Sports industry,” despite not really being in the sports industry anymore. We’re also not going to ask how he chooses which words to capitalize, if in fact he is making choices at all and not simply mashing the keyboard with the end of a mop and hoping for the best. Instead we’re just going to say, no thanks. Put the notion out of your head right now, because no one is interested in a Canseco-Walker celebrity shit-show. I mean, even if he were to decide to actually prepare for a fight, what idiots would invite him to train with them?

Oh, wait…

It’s not often that anyone in the MMA media gets to do a video interview that resembles a WWE promo, but this is probably the closest Ariel Helwani is ever going to get to feeling like Mean Gene Okerlund while on the job. Especially once Paul Daley comes on the scene, all Helwani is missing is a tuxedo and a sweet mustache, as well as perhaps a charmingly befuddled expression. Say what you will about “King Mo” Lawal and his chances against Gegard Mousasi, but the man is an entertainer. Anybody who spends that much time and energy thinking about and studying entrances is okay by us.

The only thing we could really do without is his fixation on his own “haters.” Maybe it’s his weak attempt to paint himself as a pro wrestling-style heel, but talking about how many people hate you is a little like going on a first date and talking about how many psycho exes you have. It doesn’t take long before that becomes an annoying personality trait, and one that doesn’t really achieve the desired end. 

If you really want to be a villain, do it the old-fashioned way.  Try talking some smack about the local sports teams in every city you visit, maybe disrespect a national icon or two.  Or, if you’re short on time, just manhandle Helwani during the interview, calling him a pencil-necked geek and threatening to show his wife what a real man looks like.  Trust me, Ariel has watched enough pro wrestling in his life to know exactly how to play along.

(Welcome to Ouchtown, population: you, bro. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

Another weekend of fights yields another instant classic punch-face, this time courtesy of Jay Hieron’s left uppercut. The great thing about the punch-face is that no matter how tough or cool or seemingly unflappable a fighter is, everybody looks like they’re wishing they’d chosen a different career path in that one fleeting moment.

In this case, Joe Riggs seems to be regretting his decision not to become a court reporter. It’s a steady paycheck, reasonable hours, and if anyone happens to hit you in the face while you’re on the job, at least you can be assured that they’ll be immediately tackled by a bailiff. The down side of that job is it’s a lot tougher to convince your co-workers to call you Diesel. We make choices and we live with the consequences, I suppose.

(Rex Ryan: a jowly, unkempt Johnny Cash for the modern age.)

If you watched the Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Miami on Saturday night then you probably saw the cageside interview with New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, where his comments were partially drowned out by the chorus of boos from the Florida crowd. Or, if you got up to make yourself a sandwich and wonder why they hadn’t opted to try and squeeze in another fight from the undercard, maybe you missed it altogether. Regardless, the crowd at the BankAtlantic Center had more verbal abuse in store for Ryan throughout the night, and at some point he evidently got fed up and resorted to that great intellectual equalizer, the obscene gesture. This was naturally followed by the media storm, and ensuing hollow apology, all within just a little over 24 hours.

Fifty years ago, if Bear Bryant had gone to a boxing match and responded to a fan’s jeering with a middle finger, one gets the sense that it would not have been news. For one, nobody would have been there to snap a picture with their cell phone. For another, the fan on the receiving end of the finger would probably have just been glad to get away without being punched in the mouth.

But we live in a different era. Ryan has already apologized for the gesture, calling it “stupid and inappropriate,” and the Jets have issued a statement on it. There’s also a very real possibility that he’ll face a fine from the NFL as a result of all this, though his players seem to think it was pretty awesome:

(Skip to the 0:21 mark to see Ariel Helwani having a near-death experience at the hands of Wes Sims.)

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Wes Sims would claim his loss to Bobby Lashley at last night’s Strikeforce event was the result of an incompetent referee and an unscrupulous opponent. I guess I also shouldn’t be surprised that he showed up to fight looking like he might be five months pregnant, or that he claims to think that the fight was stopped too early. But the fact that he could say, with a straight face, that Lashley didn’t do anything but take him down and lay on him, that seems absurd even for Sims. As anyone who actually watched the fight knows, it was Lashley doing most of the work on the mat while Sims was, in Mauro Ranallo’s words, “holding on for dear life but not defending himself intelligently.”

If you go back and watch the video, just after the two-minute mark you can clearly hear the referee warning Lashley about the thumb to the throat several times, so maybe Sims has a legitimate gripe there. Did it change the outcome of the fight? Based on the fact that Sims’ game plan seemed to consist of a test of strength followed by a lot of pained facial expressions, I’m going to go ahead and say no.

Check out Lashley’s bemused response to all this nonsense after the jump.

(Finally, someone to ask Herschel Walker the hard-hitting questions, like how do you deal with a spontaneous erection in the middle of math class? Photo courtesy of All Elbows.)

The main card fighters all managed to make weight today for Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Miami event, though we did find out that if Herschel Walker plans on making a serious go of it in MMA, he might want to consider a drop to light heavyweight.  Not that there’s no market at all for a 214-pound heavyweight, but it is quickly disappearing. 

The boys on the undercard did have a few minor glitches, with some coming in heavy and some laboring under paperwork problems, but as long as "Cyborg" Santos avoided female trouble we have to term this one a complete success.  Don’t forget that we’ll be liveblogging the entire Showtime broadcast, so come back here on Saturday night to get your fill of commentary, live results, and what passes for wit around these parts.  Full weigh-in results are below.

Nick Diaz (169.5) vs. Marius Zaromskis (169)
Cristiane Santos (144.5) vs. Marloes Coenen (143.75)
Bobby Lashley (252.25) vs. Wes Sims (258.25)
Melvin Manhoef (185.75) vs. Robbie Lawler (185.75)
Herschel Walker (214.25) vs. Greg Nagy (210.5)
Jay Hieron (170.25) vs. Joe Riggs (170.5)

(From Monson’s tattoos to the girl in the halter top standing up for no reason, EA Sports has all the details of an MMA event down cold.)

The great thing about pro fighting video games, aside from the opportunity to feel like you have personally knocked out Josh Koscheck, is the ability to make dream match-ups that never happen in real life, such as Muhammad Ali vs. Mike Tyson, Blade vs. a small Asian woman, or Bobby Lashley vs. someone who presents a real challenge.  No offense to Wes Sims, who oddsmakers believe is more likely to win on Jeopardy! than he is to win at Strikeforce: Miami, but when you’re more excited about fighting in a warm climate than you are about your own chances for victory, people tend not to take you seriously.

Aside from showing off some sharp graphics, the shots of Lashley in the forthcoming EA Sports MMA game really make us dwell on what an appropriate opponent Jeff Monson would have been for Lashley.  Obviously Monson has more experience, but the size and strength difference might help even things out, and at the very least we’d find out where Lashley is in his evolution as a fighter.  Instead, we’ll have to content ourselves with finding out how much punishment Sims is really willing to take on a week’s notice. Our guess is, just enough, but no more than is absolutely necessary.

More screen shots of Lashley from the EA Sports game are after the jump, in case you’re interested.

Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

(Uh-oh, looks like someone ate that half a sandwich in the office refrigerator that Bobby was saving for lunch. He wrote his name on it for a reason, people.)

When we had trouble finding betting odds for the Bobby Lashley-Wes Sims fight for our Strikeforce: Miami edition of the Gambling Enabler, we initially chalked it up to the fact that the bout was a late addition.  Maybe we were right, or maybe it just took a little longer for oddsmakers to count this high.  A quick glance at BestFightOdds.com today reveals that Lashley is anywhere between a 12-1 and 15-1 favorite to beat Sims on Saturday night. 

Those of you who believe deep down that "certified black man" Wes Sims will take this can make a handsome profit by throwing some cheddar down on him while he’s still a 7-1 underdog.  Or you could just bury that cash and hope that a money tree grows in your backyard.  At least if that plan fails you’ll be able to dig your nest egg up again in time to bet it all on Frankie Edgar. 

So basically, what we’ve got here is another Lashley fight where he faces off against someone who was brought in to lose, this time on about a week’s notice.  Lashley still talks like since he’s only had four fights, fans shouldn’t expect him to fight anyone other than the Bob Sapps or Jason Guidas of the MMA world, but you can only have so many squash matches before it becomes a game of diminishing returns.  If Lashley wants to be taken seriously, it may be time for him to admit that his palooka punch card is just about full.

Earlier this week we speculated that oddsmakers were only giving Melvin Manhoef the slight edge over Robbie Lawler because they thought Lawler was foolhardy enough to stand and strike with Manhoef rather than take it to the ground, where he would enjoy a distinct advantage. Unless Lawler is doing a great big fake-out in this video interview with Ariel Helwani, the oddsmakers know Lawler better than he knows himself. Yes, he realizes that he’s probably much better on the ground than Manhoef, and he probably also realizes that he could get it there if he wanted to. But that’s not how Lawler likes to party. He wants to go toe-to-toe with a man who’s known for having vicious stand-up and very little else. He wants to play to his opponent’s one strength rather than exploit his easily exploitable weaknesses. So he says, anyway.

Honestly? As much fun as it would be to watch Lawler and Manhoef play Rock-em, Sock-em Robots on Saturday night, a part of me hopes that Lawler is smarter than that. He needs a win more than he needs to prove what a stone cold bad-ass he is. Knocking out Manhoef in a stand-up war would be entertaining and impressive, but that’s like investing your savings in lottery tickets.  A 401k might not be as thrilling, but it is a lot less likely to leave you crying in the parking lot.

After the jump, part two of RawVegas.tv‘s series with Goran Reljic.  In this episode, Reljic spars with Forrest Griffin and shares a candid conversation about the challenges both of them are facing in the near future.

(Props: truplya777)

As we learn in the above video interview from Aaron Tru, Strikeforce moneyweight contender Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal doesn’t really know who or when he’ll be fighting next, while Strikeforce light-heavyweight champion Gegard Mousasi says he’ll probably be fighting King Mo in April. As soon as the news reaches Lawal, he should be thrilled, considering he wants that belt and already has Mousasi figured out. Strikeforce’s 4/17 event on CBS is also rumored to feature Fedor Emelianenko vs. Fabricio Werdum, and Jake Shields vs. Dan Henderson.

Speaking of the Armenian Assassin, Mousasi has accepted Firas Zahabi’s invitation for him to train with UFC welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre. According to a report on Sherdog, Gegard and GSP have been working out together in Miami this week, helping St. Pierre get ready for his March 27th meeting with Dan Hardy. It’ll be the first time that Mousasi has been part of a training camp in the U.S.:

(Takayo Hashi vs. Chisa Yonezawa @ GCM Valkyrie 2, 4/25/09)

After putting on the biggest women’s fight in history last year, Strikeforce is preparing to build women’s MMA even larger. According to a recent press release, Sarah Kaufman and Takayo Hashi will battle for the promotion’s first women’s 135-pound title at a Strikeforce Challengers event scheduled for February 26th at the Civic Auditorium in San Jose; tickets are on sale right now.

With a perfect record of 10-0 (eight via TKO), the hard-hitting Kaufman is one of the world’s best female fighters, and has been gaining recognition in Strikeforce thanks to the dominant decision victories she scored over Miesha Tate and Shayna Baszler in 2009. Takayo Hashi (12-1; 4 wins by submission, 8 by unanimous decision) has competed primarily in Japan, where she was one of the standouts of the SmackGirl promotion. Hashi most recently choked out Chisa Yonezawa at a GCM Valkyrie event last April, and avenged her only loss to Hitomi Akano in 2007. She’s known primarily as a grappler, while Kaufman is known primarily for beating the crap out of grapplers.

(Coenen vs. Yoko Takahashi I, 5/3/01)

After looking at the incredibly uneven betting odds on the "Cyborg" Santos-Marloes Coenen Strikeforce women’s lightweight title bout, we couldn’t help but wonder whether Coenen is walking into certain doom on Saturday night.  Since she’s fought mostly in Europe and Japan, we haven’t gotten the chance to see many of her fights until now (except this one), but come on, she can’t be that outmatched against "Cyborg," can she? 

In the interest of at least attempting to know what we’re talking about, we did a little research on Coenen.  What we learned is that her stand-up is decent, though not without some defensive holes, and she really knows her way around an armbar.  Seriously.  The fight you see above was Coenen’s fifth professional bout, and one of three meetings with Takahashi.  She won them all in the first round (two by armbar, one by TKO) and the fights only got more lopsided as Coenen improved over the years. 

What’s interesting is that Santos also fought Takahashi at EliteXC: Heat in 2008, where "Cyborg" won a decision.  So that’s got to be an encouraging sign, right?  Coenen totally owned a fighter who took Santos the distance.  Right?  Guys?

More of Coenen’s fights are after the jump, including her second meeting with Takahashi, her loss to Erin Toughill, and a video of what appears to be Coenen abusing some poor girl from the local middle school.  Seems more and more like either Coenen gets Santos to the mat early and submits her, or else she gets her lovely facial features rearranged.

January has been a slow month for those of us who thrive on the thrill that comes with losing large sums of money on MMA fights. But fortunately we’re going out with a bang this weekend thanks to Strikeforce: Miami, which brings us a loaded fight card on Showtime and provides the opportunity to make reckless decisions that will haunt us for years to come. The good news is, with the launch of our brand new MMA FightPicker game, you can now get all the fun that comes with predicting fights against your CP brethren, but without the threat of getting your thumbs broken when you can’t pay up. You’re welcome.

Odds for Saturday night’s Strikeforce event come to us from BestFightOdds.com:

Nick Diaz (-220) vs. Marius Zaromskis (+222)
Cris “Cyborg” Santos (-550) vs. Marloes Coenen (+461)
Robbie Lawler (+160) vs. Melvin Manhoef (-175)
Herschel Walker (-325) vs. Greg Nagy (+250)
Jay Hieron (-264) vs. Joe Riggs (+275)

The breakdown…

(Randy might want to ask for a DNA test before he puts this one through college.)

Apparently we aren’t the only ones who think it’s a damn shame that the welterweight scrap between Jay Hieron and Joe Riggs is being pushed to the untelevised undercard of Strikeforce: Miami.  The powers that be may not like the fight enough to push Herschel Walker-Greg Nagy or Bobby Lashley-Wes Sims off the Showtime broadcast, but they have arranged to air it live on the official EA Sports website at 9:05 pm EST on Saturday night, reports Sherdog.com. 

You have to admit, it’s an arrangement that works well for everyone.  EA Sports gets another chance to hype their forthcoming MMA video game, and Strikeforce can give a nod to the vets on this card without having to bump the less experienced but more famous fighters from the televised proceedings.  As long as the end result is the chance to see one more quality fight for free on Saturday night, we certainly aren’t complaining.

(Props: Fight Magazine)

Ever since former NFL player and Dissociative Identity Disorder sufferer Herschel Walker announced his intention to become an MMA fighter, the question that still follows him is, why? Why does a guy who’s 47 years old want to start a whole new career in a sport where hungry young bucks will be lining up to make a name for themselves by thumping on his skull? Most of the time in MMA, the answer to this question lies somewhere in the intersection of a desperate financial situation and a longing for attention. But Walker says he’s motivated by neither. He just wants to show everyone that with a lot of hard work, you can do anything.

In this case, ‘anything’ includes beating a 1-1 fighter who oddsmakers have pegged as a +250 underdog. Even Greg Nagy’s trainer isn’t so hot on his chances to beat Walker, who is, by all accounts, a very athletic, extremely hard-working gym rat. This raises the question, what will it really prove for Walker to win this fight? Is beating a handpicked opponent everyone expects him to dominate really going to prove that anything is possible?

Grizzled old-timer Don Frye says letting guys like Walker jump into the sport like this keeps people from taking MMA seriously, whereas Walker will tell you that it’s an inspirational story for all the kids out there.  The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.  It’s nice to see a man chasing his dream at an age when most guys have taken to wearing fanny packs and calling the cops to complain about suspicious-looking teenagers, but it’s also not going to shock the world if Walker beats someone who was more or less brought in to lose.

(Wow. If that mug gets any meaner we might have to get a restraining order.)

Nick Diaz seemed a little out of sorts on today’s conference call to promote Strikeforce: Miami.  Or maybe that was completely in sorts for Diaz.  There’s no way to know for sure.  When asked to give an opening statement Diaz seemed a bit lost, replying, "Am I supposed to have something to say?"  Later, when asked to give an assessment of Marius Zaromskis‘ skills, Diaz shot back, "Why?  What is this shit?  I apologize.  I just woke up.  I didn’t even know this call was going down."  

Once Diaz got his bearings he managed to describe Zaromskis as "a good fighter," adding, "Anybody who’s going to be fighting at this level is a good fighter.  It’s like an oxymoron." 

It isn’t, actually, but no one was about to challenge Diaz on that after the struggle it took just to get any answer at all.  Fortunately, things got better from there.  Some notable moments:

(Greg Nagy, previously known as ‘TBA’.)

If you search the internet in an attempt to learn something about Greg Nagy, you will learn that he’s either a professor of Classics at Harvard who knows everything there is to know about archaic Greek poetry, or else he’s the 1-1 heavyweight tapped to face former NFL player Herschel Walker in his MMA debut at Strikeforce: Miami.  We’re more interested in the second guy, though all we know about him so far is that he started his pro career in 2009 and is coming off a loss.  In other words, Strikeforce isn’t bringing him in because they necessarily think he has a bright future in their heavyweight division.

Talking to MMAFighting.com, Nagy recited the typical here-to-make-a-name-for-myself script, but it was the comments from his trainer, Roland Sarria, the man who recommended him for this fight, that were more telling:

"They’re roughly the same size so I thought it was a good fit," said Sarria, who also runs the Rage in the Cage Training Center where Nagy trains. "You can’t put [Walker] in with Fedor [Emelianenko], right? Greg is 1-1, he’s a good-looking kid. I’d say he’s a bit more advanced than Herschel, but not by much. I thought it was a good matchup."

(‘All right, Vince. Before we do this thing, you want the chamomile or the rosemary tea rinse? For an extra twenty bucks we can also throw some Just For Men in that bad boy, and that can be our little secret.’)

Bobby Lashley‘s status as MMA’s most famous can-crusher seems as though it won’t be immediately effected by signing on with Strikeforce, as much as we might have hoped for the opposite result.  Strikeforce suffered a setback this week when trying to match Lashley up with MMA fighter and boxer Yohan Banks (2-1 in MMA, 2-3-3 in boxing).  Strikeforce may have thought it sounded like a good idea to shove Banks in against a decorated wrestler and valued MMA prospect like Lashley, but the Florida State Boxing Commission disagreed.  MMA Junkie reports that the bout was denied on the grounds that it was "not competitive," to which we assume Scott Coker responded, ‘No kidding.’

Instead, Five Ounces of Pain says Lashley will face Jimmy "The Titan" Ambriz (14-12-1) at Strikeforce: Miami on January 30.  Ambriz is coming off a win over Chris "The Fireman" Clark (who is 7-30 in five years worth of competition) in August, and his career features a list of losses against notable opponents like Jeff Monson, Sergei Kharitonov, Josh Barnett, Chris Tuchscherer, and Scott Junk, among others.  His biggest triumph was probably a TKO over Ruben Villareal, followed by a draw against Ron Waterman.

But hey, at least the guy has more total fights than Banks, so that qualifies him to be ground into a fine paste by Lashley, right?

(Props: Showtime via MiddleEasy)

It took their lazy asses two full months, but Strikeforce has finally released the video of Marloes Coenen‘s rematch with Roxanne Modafferi, which was part of the unaired preliminary card at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers. Though Modafferi was able to grind out a split-decision victory when she first fought Coenen in the finals of an eight-woman K-Grace tournament in May 2007, their last meeting was a 65-second pwnage by Marloes, who used razor-sharp striking to drop Modafferi before methodically setting up an armbar. With her Strikeforce debut an unqualified success and her reputation growing in the States, the good-lookin’ Golden Glory product will now challenge for Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s 145-pound belt on January 30th. Any predictions?

(Props: FightersOnlyMagazine)

"I’m hoping in April I get a chance to fight Mousasi next. That’s the fight I want…I know I’ll put on a show and I’ll win that fight…Anything can happen in MMA when you’re dealing with two guys that train hard and want it. So, I’m not worried about the fans [doubting me] ’cause the fans ain’t fighters. They’re fans, they just watch. So they should just sit back and watch in April and see what happens. King Coker, I hope he can give me that fight…I don’t know if I deserve it yet, but if the fight makes sense, let’s make it happen…

When I had the opportunity to fight Travis Wiuff, I watched his footage twice and I was like ‘got him.’ And I have that feeling right now. I’ve watched Mousasi’s fights, a lot of his fights, and he’s been fighting for a while, and I think he’s hit his peak. He won’t improve too much…I think he’s been winning off of just being a smart fighter and more technical than other fighters. I want it ’cause I know I’mma win it."

— Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal invites the haters to keep hating in this recent video interview, where he makes his intentions known regarding Gegard Mousasi‘s Strikeforce light-heavyweight strap. With a record of 6-0 over mostly uninspiring competition, it seems like Mo should have to complete an intermediate step between fighting Mike Whitehead and fighting the Last Gypsy. But with Strikeforce’s 205-pound class as thin as it is, Mo’s personality could make him marketable enough to sell the fight. Still, I wonder what Lawal could have possibly seen in Mousasi’s fight tapes that would make him think "got him." For the record, Mo’s Wikipedia page currently lists his division as "Moneyweight."

(These two guys could be brothers. Brothers with very different attitudes toward tanning.)

What do you do if you’re Strikeforce and you’ve just signed one of the most terrifyingly aggressive strikers of the modern era?  If you’re smart, you toss him against another heavy-hitter right off the bat and see whose head is still on their shoulders afterwards.  That seems to be the plan with new Strikeforce signee Melvin Manhoef, who will reportedly be taking on Robbie Lawler at Strikeforce’s Miami event on January 30.  There’s no official confirmation from Strikeforce on this just yet, but we know that they do owe Lawler a fight after he got shafted out of his chance to beat up Trevor Prangley in December, and Manhoef barely had a chance to break a sweat when he popped Kazuo Misaki at Dynamite!! on New Year’s Eve.

In fact, Manhoef was asked about the possibility of facing Lawler at his post-fight press conference in Tokyo, and he seemed game even if he didn’t appear to know too much about Lawler.  Said the Dutch striker:

At the beginning of every year there are always nuggets of conventional wisdom that seem absolutely unassailable in January and are laughable by December. This has always been the case, and not just in the world of MMA. For instance, in January of 1941 Pearl Harbor was a nice, calm, wonderfully exotic place for U.S. servicemen to be stationed. By December it was fodder for a horrible Michael Bay movie. Just goes to show that we never know as much as we think we do, though it doesn’t stop us from making definitive statements that will later seem totally ridiculous. Here now are some of the MMA truths that became lies in 2009…

Lyoto Machida is the most boring fighter in the UFC

At the start of 2009 Machida had finished just two of his last seven fights (one of them a TKO due to exhaustion), and had cemented his reputation as the fighter who was too "elusive" to be interesting. The UFC seemed intent on keeping him away from a title shot, but inked him for a showdown of undefeated Brazilians against Thiago Silva at UFC 94. That’s when "The Dragon" showed his fangs or claws or whatever it is that dragons have, and after knocking out Rashad Evans to claim the light heavyweight title in similarly ferocious fashion a few months later, we were forced to abandon our belief that Machida would forever be MMA’s version of Ambien. Too bad that our revised position didn’t fare much better…

Lyoto Machida is damn near unbeatable

The “Machida Era” was supposed to be a reign as dominant and prolific as that of middleweight champ Anderson Silva, which left many of us scratching our heads when “Shogun” Rua got the nod as his first challenger. Rua was 2-1 in the UFC at that point and he hadn’t beaten anyone even near their prime since leaving Pride. Despite coming in as a heavy underdog, Rua gave Machida all he could handle for five rounds and seemed to be on his way to a decision victory before the judges decided to discount leg kicks altogether. Machida survived with the belt, but not with his aura of invincibility.

(Props: Sherdog)

No longer a free agent, MMA living legend Dan Henderson is slated to challenge Jake Shields for Strikeforce’s middleweight belt at the organization’s next CBS card in April. Dana White may take full responsibility for Hendo’s exit from the UFC, but according to Henderson in the video interview above, the signing was the best thing for him, really: "The opportunity to fight on CBS is huge…and you just don’t get that elsewhere. To have the opportunities to still be able to fight the top guys in the world, that was one of my main concerns, and they have that here as well. There’s no red tape to go through with sponsorships. Clinch Gear‘s not banned from the organization. I’m just happy all the way around."

Responding to White’s recent claims that he’s permanently "done" with Henderson, Dan was his usual respectful self: "I think the fans know Dana White. Personally, as far as our relationship, he’s still gonna be alright with me, but business-wise maybe he has to put on a certain front for certain things. And either way I’ll say that he’s still fat and he needs to diet down a little bit. I’ve been telling him for a long time. Hes spending a lot of money on expanding those suits."

As for his next opponent, Henderson described Jake Shields as "bigger than me…I think he does cut quite a bit of weight to get to ’85" — which seems like an odd claim based on information he probably made up. And sure, it’s no Henderson vs. Silva II, or even Henderson vs. Marquardt, but whaddya gonna do: "I don’t know how excited the fans are gonna be about that fight," Henderson said. "But I think it’s a good matchup and I’m excited about it."

(Images courtesy of facebook.com/ginacarano, twitter.com/ginacarano)

Gina Carano has been spending most of her time on a movie set lately, but she took a moment earlier today to make sure that everybody is in the holiday spirit. To be honest, I wasn’t until I saw that picture of Gina Carano. Now I’m ready to put some muhfuckin’ ornaments on a tree, y’feel me? Though Gina has kept quiet about her return to MMA, Scott Coker hopes to see her back in a Strikeforce cage next summer. In the meantime, we have enough MMA sex symbols to keep us busy…

As you probably guessed, “King Mo” Lawal did not react kindly to the news that he’d been fined by the California State Athletic Commission for spilling an energy drink all over the mat after his victory over Mike Whitehead at Strikeforce: Evolution. He doesn’t think it’s fair that you can’t celebrate by tossing a sticky, sugary, artificial substance all over the mat, and, naturally, he chalks the fine up to all the “haters” who don’t want him to have any fun. Perhaps the most baffling part about his post-fight Rockstar bath, however, is that, according to Lawal, he did that whole thing pro bono:

"I’m not sponsored by Rockstar. The thing is, I couldn’t have any other beverage in the ring. If I could have, I would have had Pepsi. But Rockstar is cool, they are the sponsor for Strikeforce, I have a lot of respect for Strikeforce so I just did it. Why not? I was just out there having fun.”

This is where we are forced to wonder why pouring an artificially-flavored beverage all down his face and, at one point, on top of his head, is so inextricably linked to “fun” in Lawal’s mind. When we thought it was an unsubtle attempt to get his sponsor some love, it made a lot more sense. But just for fun? We’re starting to get a better idea of why Mo is no longer allowed in most upscale establishments. There’s just too much to clean up once he starts having a good time.